⛑ Lil Treasures Thread #37: First Aid Kits and The Tree Who Set Healthy Boundaries
The Great British Bake-Off is a universal band-aid.
I told a friend this week that one thing I’m learning is that I’m not as tough as I thought I was. It seems massive social upheaval and unrest (needed), a global pandemic (not needed but no one asked), the constant barrage of news and opinions and THINK PIECES has left me an absolute puddle pretty much every evening for the past five months. And when I am a puddle, I need help. Enter my First Aid Kit.
This week on Instagram, I shared part of my Enneagram 3 First Aid Kit: the things I pull out when I need some assistance in life. And friends, I need some ding dang assistance in life right now. So while I can’t speak for the other types, here’s what’s rattling around my first aid kit:
Hack Your Crying: We’ve talked about it before but it goes like this - you’re sad, but 3s don’t know they are sad, or they can’t figure out why, but we need to get it out of our system. We also do not like to be sad (because at some point someone told us sad equals loser and we’ve never really let that go, plus we just don’t like the feels which accompany sad) so we watch something so happy and pure that it forces us to cry, essentially crying out the sadness, but through a conduit of delight and joy. Best uses of the conduit are: Episodes of Queer Eye, this 52 second video of Mister Rogers talking to adults after 9/11, videos of soldiers coming to their dogs (family members are too sad!), this video of Fred Rogers getting inducted into the TV Hall of Fame and being surprised by Jeff Erlinger, this video of Fred Rogers getting his lifetime achievement award when he destroys a room full of celebs and makes them weep, any episode of Somebody Feed Phil, and pretty much any and all Fred Rogers-related content on this internet.
Personal workout competitions: Someone mentions this in the crowd-sourcing below, but it’s now become a game for me to close all my rings on my Apple Watch. The satisfaction is enormous. I’m also Olympic-level at getting my recommended amount of water daily. A true hero.
New projects: Wow. The amount of new projects I have taken on is out of control and I honestly didn’t realize it until just now. Taking a painting class. Taking a hormones class. Threw myself into a massive work project. Started gardening and composting. Getting our house ready to put on the market. Redoing our bathrooms. So that is a thing, I guess.
Meditate: My spiritual director gets in my chili (not really she’s very kind and very anti-inserting-herself-into-anyone’s-chili) about how I have no concept of not measuring something’s worth by virtue of its success. What this means is that I try to make my therapist laugh so that I win therapy, so I’m completely normal, why do you ask? Anyway, one thing that we’ve been working on is noticing. That’s right: what’s more antithetical to my nature than to just…notice something and not try to make it be a lesson or an idea for later. I can’t say I’m doing a good job, because…you can’t win achievement awards for meditating, so I will just say it is a thing I am doing that seems to be beneficial in ways that are not measurable, which do not determine their worth. Anyway, I use the Calm app or the Dwell app, depending on the mood, and I love them both.
Shopping: Yeah. I’m not proud of this one, but it morphed from: “get the children things to occupy their time” (water slide! popsicles!) to “I probably need new throw pillows, new throw pillows will make coronavirus go away, right?”
So since this doesn’t need to be an Enneagram 3 show (although we DO make it about us), I was super interested in what the other types might have in their kits, and per usual, you guys did not disappoint. I can’t put all of them here, but here are the highlights:
1️⃣ Ones (I swear, you all pretty much talked about lists)
“Pros and cons lists!”
“Making all the lists and watching all the Parks and Rec.”
“It’s hella cliche but making so many lists thinking that’s going to solve my problems.” “There is only ferocious cleaning.”
“I lay in bed with my eyes closed listening to an audiobook.”
“Listening to @kinggutterbaby and making to-do lists and drinking.”
“Make a spreadsheet with links and tabs.”
“Creating lists to prep for fall!”
“Cleaning Instagram accounts!”
“Lists upon lists make me look accomplished.”
“I am in hell because everyone is doing everything wrong.”
“Spending time in nature, but also watching New Girl.”
“Stress painting my kitchen because no one wants to follow the rules.”
2️⃣ Twos
“Online shopping! I can get things but I don’t have to talk to anyone or burden a store person.”
“It’s wine. Wine, wine, and more wine.”
“Great British Bake-off on repeat.”
“Feeling guilt over screentime and continuing to say yes to more.”
“Bake and deliver gifts to the neighbors!”
“Reading, baking, and sending people cards.”
“Making masks for teachers and school employees and sending packages.” “Long walks by myself and getting up early to be alone.”
“A quality chat with a friend who doesn’t need me.”
”Grief baking.”
“Making jam and giving it away to my neighbors.”
3️⃣ Threes
“Initating sex with my husband…because I’m good at it.”
“I’m gainfully employed, but also became a Shipt shopper.”
“Medication and hiking.”
“Random and specific goals I can win at: number of emails in inbox, number of workouts, etc.”
“Tequila and crying alone in a hot garage.”
“Always needing a new challenge. This month is going vegetarian.”
“I shop for all the things we might need so I can control something and binge GBBO.” “Taking a true Sabbath.”
“Journaling, self-induced crying to clear the emotional constipation.”
“I know you can see my name so I’m trusting you when I say I started smoking pot.”
4️⃣ Fours
“Reading tons of Eugene Peterson.”
“Watching Outlander way too many times.”
“Bravo shows.”
“Eat poptarts to remind me of childhood and reality shows of people doing worse than me.”
“Watching/reading all fluff, nothing serious. Crying in the shower.”
“90s playlist. I’m all about nostalgia for happier times.”
“Putting together amazing outfits for places I’m not going.”
“I put on pajamas, get off socials, and watch something sad with a margarita and popcorn.”
“Stare out the window with GBBO on in the background.”
“Hands-on creative projects.”
“Watching moody British dramas like Poldark after the kids are asleep BY MYSELF.”
“I lay in bed under a very heavy blanket, physically processing the weight of the world.”
5️⃣ Fives (truly just a drop in the bucket of all the times “noise-cancelling headphones” were mentioned.)
“Puzzles while listening to an audio book or music I’ve liked since high school.” “Reading all the books. So happy.”
“Bury myself in book/deep dives! Hoard knowledge like Smaug. It’s like armor for 5s!” “I can now run 3 miles! Time alone every evening with no one talking to me.” “Compartmentalize. Focus on projects or escape into books.”
“Wearing ear plugs around my house to muffle the constant noise.”
“Compulsively researching worries.”
“Noise-cancelling headphones.”
“Headphones with loud emotional deep bass music.”
“I started wearing a mask before it was required so people would stop talking to me.” “Re-reading comfort books and lots of GBBO/GBBS.” “Cleaning things out of my house and burning them in a fire pit.”
6️⃣ Sixes
“Stay informed about all sides of the argument. And drinking.”
“All the news, because if I can know enough I’ll be safe obviously.”
“Deliberately avoid the news yet stay informed so I can try to stay prepared.”
“I play “It Could Get Worse” and find random catastrophes that are yet to happen.” “All things murder/true crime. It could be worse!”
“Laughter and comedy - watching funny stuff and telling funny stories.”
“Rewatch TV series where I know the ending.”
“Comfort shows like The Office and GBBO.”
“I read cookbooks for things I’m never going to cook. Very little chance of failure there.”
“To be honest the only thing that has helped is Prozac.”
“Showering in the dark!”
7️⃣ Sevens
“A new cocktail every week, cookie deliveries, video games, and SPOOKY TV shows.” “Cheese, new robot vacuum, and booked a ridiculous beach trip.”
“Watching ALL the Netflix.”
“Run away and do something fun. Also eat feelings and shop feelings.”
“Pretending that different popcorn toppings is “so fun!”
“I just buy all the things. It’s like a blackout shopping party.”
“Planning hypothetical vacations.”
“Starting and never finishing projects, shows, books, chores.”
“New hobby: completed an entire hand-sewn quilt in the last 4 months.”
“Gimme a thing to control and try.”
“Pru’s GBBO ONLY.”
“Googling vacation rentals.”
“I spontaneously bought a puppy.”
“I have adopted a LOT of new animals.”
8️⃣ Eights
“Cardio boxing, yoga, and watching Parks and Rec.”
“Way too much caffeine and cursing.”
“Screaming in the car to System of a Down a la Christina Applegate in Dead to Me.” “Noise blocking headphones and loud music.”
“Great British Bake Off but only the parts where people get kicked off.”
“Instigate an argument, win said argument, feel better.”
“Picking a small fight so I can feel in control.”
“Yelling at the TV because they make stupid comments.”
“Report asshats on Instagram.”
9️⃣ Nines
“Animal Crossing, a blanket, and a cocktail.”
“Just a loop of GBBO.”
“I just watch and listen and read Sarah Bessey.”
“Put items in my cart online but don’t purchase, also parent with iPads.”
“Oh just the corner of my couch. That’s all. For real.”
“Naps.”
“I can only consume non-stressful media.” “Take an Advil PM and go to bed early.” “Romance novels.”
“Happy endings only.”
“Plants plants plants.”
“Naps and Netflix.”
“I take baths to hide from my family.”
“Numbing out with comforting TV binges (1995’s Pride and Prejudice).”
“Journaling. I will numb my feelings indefinitely if I don’t offload/release them tangibly.”
“Cry in the shower where no one can see me!”
The great news here is that, anecdotally, The Great British Bake Off will heal our land. It is the universal bandaid.
Okay let’s jump into treasures for the week, shall we?
📝 The sweetest treasure came to me last night via email. Beloved commenter, Amanda W, sent a short story, inspired by…you. If this community has meant anything to you, I think you’ll really love what she created. Thank you, Amanda. I am QUITE undone by it, and I think you did a lovely job capturing our vibe here.
📺 My new favorite YouTube account is TwinsthenewTrend (h/t to Shannan Martin who grammed about this account this week). The concept is two twins listening to popular songs for the first time and filming their reactions and observations. It is PURE INTERNET ESCASTY and I never want it to end. Them coming around on Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You - JUST PUT IT IN MY VEINS. “I feel like she’s saying she loves me.” BYE FOREVER.
🌳 Listen I adore Shel Silverstein (he remains to this day the only poet whose works I own in entirety) but The Giving Tree is problematic. That’s why I loved this re-imagining called The Tree Who Set Healthy Boundaries by Topher Payne for the Atlanta Artist Relief Fund.
💕 If you want to get DEEP IN YOUR FEELINGS about the time period in your life when you listened to Alanis Morissette like you would die if you didn’t, please do watch her singing a song (about her daughter) from her newest album while holding her daughter. Her daughter also completely steals the show. Time is a thief I wanna punch him in the face. Also I really like Alanis’s voice here.
🙏 Megan Teegarden alerted me to this great Instagram this week: @liturgiesforparents. If you are a not-good-prayer-person like myself, I’ve found scripted prayers to be extremely helpful. These are lovely. Thanks Megan!
🧘🏻♀️ I’ve returned to my acupressure mat (15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes at night) and whether it’s complete bull crap or it’s actually doing what it says, I don’t care. I love it and if anything, it’s a nice visual indicator that I’m not available for momming at the moment, please come back later.
😆 I laughed at this caption for a solid ten minutes and they are NOT WRONG.
❤️ The footage coming out of Beirut is horrific, and I’ve felt helpless and despondent about the constant cycle of pain and grief we’re all carrying around with us on the daily. If you are wondering how to help, I trust and appreciate the work of Jeremy Courtney and Preemptive Love. You can visit their website or their Instagram to learn more about them, or donate to help them bring supplies and medical care to those affected by the explosion.
🏆 You know I am a fan of Dana Schwartz’s podcast Noble Blood, but did you know she’s good at the Twitters as well?
🥇 I shared this on Instagram this week, but it’s perfection, so here we are again:
🎙 Also some delightful news from the world of podcasting: The Bible Binge is back and we are officially weekly! You can learn more about the schedule (and get a little insider tip as to some news I’m going to share in a couple of weeks) when you listen to our season 10 premiere episode (it’s about the Apostle Peter). If you like it, do the thing where you subscribe so you can like it all the time.
No Q&A this week since we did First Aid Kits. If you have other Enneagram First Aid Kit suggestions or pushback, you know where to put them (in the comments). And I cannot wait to hear your treasures! Great work everyone! We made it through another week of this. We’re doing it!
Hi! If you like the Swipe Up, will you share the Swipe Up? I sometimes slide into your DMs with a treat, but mainly you get my undying gratitude. Thank you, it means a lot to me when you share with your people. ❤️
I've always thought I was a 7, but according to this list I'm a solid 9.
Oh no. I had never considered how witty I am in therapy sessions. Crap. Excuse me while I go hide under a rock and deal with my ego.