“I am in hell because everyone is doing everything wrong.”
“Stress painting my kitchen because no one wants to follow the rules.”
I have never felt more seen.
Also, the @wolfgang2242 account on IG documents the life of a house full of senior rescue dogs (plus a pig named Bikini and a few fowl). It is excellent material for cry hacking. This post got me today: https://www.instagram.com/p/CCrqm7UgYtn/ (warning: sometimes there are legitimately sad posts, but Steve's captions always exude the love he has for these animals.)
Ok, I just need to know...is everyone following @thebreakfasteur on IG?! Because she has definitely been a new treasure for me. She recreates surgical procedures with play-doh and I can’t 👏🏻 stop👏🏻watching👏🏻
My first aid kit as a 2 involves baking and GBBO and crying hacks and thinking about how all of that still isn't really real processing or helping. The week was full of introspection and thinking and crying out to God to show me where I'm supposed to be in "all of this." I'm so happy I started to involve myself in this community more, it's *chef's kiss*
Treasures: My niece came up to me yesterday and handed me a handful of home made confetti. She said "These are your joy petals. We throw them up in the air and say the magic word." Me: "What's the magic word?" Niece: "Adventure." Me: "Okay let's do it." And it legit did made me feel joy.
I made peach pie today, we've been waiting all week for the peaches to ripen and it was worth the wait. See below.
l had a good conversation with a new friend where I communicated my expectations and desires for the relationship instead of defaulting to my 2-ness and saying yeah sure I'll do whatever you want to do. It was a good moment, an adult moment.
Andi's season of the Bachelorette is on Hulu right now and I kinda love it. I forgot how much I loved her and what a strong independent woman she is. However, she does like to stir s**t up, always trying to get the guys to tell her what the house drama is.
Turds: I spent the greater part of Wednesday on hold with my insurance company and different pharmacies trying to figure out why my prescriptions were being changed to a different generic that my insurance didn't cover and was three times as much as I was paying before. It did have a happy ending. I switched my script to another pharmacy that carries a third type of generic that my insurance fully covers!
My grad classes start up again on Monday and I'm not looking forward to a decrease in free time that will be replaced with reading entire books in a week. I love my program and what I'm learning, I just don't love homework in my late 30s.
P.S I just tried for too long to include a photo of the peach pie but I give up now.
This has not been a super awesome week. I came back from vacation feeling...very anxious and unhappy about kind of...everything? I'm a five (said a few times here now...) and it's very hard for me to stop and try and feel my feels. So my vacation kind of helped me stop working (except for all the work I did on vacation because...yeah) and instead of rejuvenated I felt really deflated.
This week at work I had a two hour "talk" with my supervise-e about his performance among other things and I don't mind talking to him or telling him he's not doing things right (again, five) but I do HATE two hour zoom calls. After an hour long staff meeting. And then just a hard week full of manual labor that leaves me exhausted. And then getting yelled at through text by one of my coworkers when all I was trying to do was be helpful.
So after being yelled at I cried for like an hour and guys I HATE CRYING AND FEELINGS. So this has all been very hard and I am post cry coma-ing on the couch wrapped in a blanket while my guy watches reruns of jeopardy and I am already dreading work on Monday.
So I mean at least the weather has been nice. I'm going to go turn into a puddle of goo now. Plz send help.
My first aid kit has not been healthy, I’ll admit. I used my maternity leave as time to achieve ALL.THE.THINGS like trying to paint my bathroom in a day, revamping my laundry room, doing dump runs and organizing random drawers and deep cleaning my fridge. And I then brag about such activities to my husband in order to get validation for the things I check off my list. Yes, I am a 3. (Because none of this is done perfectly. No 1 perfection over here.)
And occasionally I go to bed at 8 pm or earlier and refuse to acknowledge my feelings on anything. Yes I’ve been to therapy and yes I know that acknowledgment of my emotions is not a weakness. #safespace
I have nothing else to say of importance except I’m tired because baby boy decided sleeping at night for long stretches of time is not for him.
However, I love reading all your comments. In a world where I have begun to loathe the internet (and worry that I perhaps I dislike/am deeply stressed out by most humans due to their hateful acts and/or beliefs in conspiracies), you all are very delightful.
I also confess to having a West Coast bias toward the rest of the country so it is good for me to read life updates from people from all over. The South! Florida! The Midwest! New Hampshire! It honestly helps my faith in America quite a bit. Thank you for that.
I still don’t know my number. All I know is that I binged OBX on Netflix this week and it was exactly what I needed. Dumb but just can’t stop watching 10 episode escape from 2020. Thank you. Also, now what?
Can we talk about this being the perfect example of so much pandemic parenting.
Woman is filming for a national show.
Performing her work
Showcasing her work
Singing about parenting, sharing messages to her children.
And she's having to parent at the same time.
Isn't it Ironic........dontcha thing?
Like, she handles it.
She pushes through.
But at the same time, DANG Mr. Alanis (I know he has a name but right now he's MR. ALANIS) like support your wife, the mother of your children and let your amazingly talented woman SHINE.
I wish she could have a take two to do this alone and sing it even louder and proud.
Okay, I finally had a chance to read Amanda’s story and this has to be noted first: “residents of The Alley loved some capitalization.” 😂 Yes. Yes, we do.
But, Amanda Waters, you have written a glorious story that will endure in my thoughts for some time. Thank you for this gift! It took me to Narnia and The Secret Garden (duh) and “Because of Winn Dixie” all at once, and it’s just glorious. I said that already. Words fail me. 🥰
For the record, my doorway is always through a wardrobe. 🦁
9 here! Long time reader, first time poster. Hamilton has become my multipurpose first aid kit. Do I need a pick me up? Schuyler Sisters. Do I need to cry? It's Quiet Uptown on repeat while sobbing in the shower. Closer runner up - Taylor Swift's new album.
My real life treasure this week was my family full of strong women. They circled the wagons around me and I have never felt so loved. My mom (only 63) has been rapidly declining mentally over the past year and just got a dementia diagnosis. It has obviously been devastating. My dad (who has Parkinson's) has just not been able to process getting her help, so I've sort of taken the lead. It is challenging because I never know which dad I'm going to get from one day to the next - Cooperative Dad or Defensive Dad. Everyone including my therapist keeps telling me how strong and brave I am, when really I feel like I've just made a few phone calls to doctors and taken her to some appointments and researched until I'm blue in the face (OK, maybe I deserve a little credit). Anyway, my grandma and her sister, both powerful, successful women, especially given the era they came up in, got the rest of the girls in the family together for a cry session / business-of-caring-for-terminally-ill info session. While not easy, it was such a much needed comfort to our souls. Are the men in our family great? Sure. Are we going to count on them to get us though any of this? Nah.
Ladies, this is the hardest work I have ever done. And I've done some hard work in the past. None of my real life friends can identify with what I'm going through at all, because **our moms are too young for this!!** Their moms are coming to watch their kids, sending them pics of cute outfits from Target, and I'm over here pouting because my mom can't even remember to call me anymore.
I guess I'm spilling my guts here because as I've lurked for several months you have shown me this is a safe and loving space. And if anyone happens to have walked through something like this, I am accepting any and all advice/encouragement/prayers.
Thank you all for the kind words about the story! I'm just glad you liked it. It was fun. And thanks for sharing it, Erin. I admit, I had a major vulnerability hangover after I emailed it, but watching 3 hours of Grantchester under a blanket helped. 😉
Amanda, that short story was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.💜
Top of the list on my enneagram 9 self care kit is currently exercise. During corona, I have found out that a workout is often the very thin barrier holding back a deluge of feelings and desires to fade into the corner of my couch all day. I now reserve the fading into the couch for the nighttime and call it balance 🤷🏼♀️I've also resorted to online shopping while netflix binging. Regardless of how the school year starts, at least I have a cute outfit.
I started listening to The Ballard of Songbirds and Snakes (Hunger Games prequel). I am enjoying it more than I thought I would considering my general disdain for President Snow.
For my belated birthday and graduation celebration, I am going to spend the weekend at a friends and I am over the moon. We been corona prepping and working to ensure we're safe in doing so, but dang it feels good to get a glimpse of normal. We've planned a Hamilton themed brunch for the two of us since we couldn't view the premiere together.
Cheering you all on as we made it through another week!❤️
I've always thought I was a 7, but according to this list I'm a solid 9.
Oh no. I had never considered how witty I am in therapy sessions. Crap. Excuse me while I go hide under a rock and deal with my ego.
“I am in hell because everyone is doing everything wrong.”
“Stress painting my kitchen because no one wants to follow the rules.”
I have never felt more seen.
Also, the @wolfgang2242 account on IG documents the life of a house full of senior rescue dogs (plus a pig named Bikini and a few fowl). It is excellent material for cry hacking. This post got me today: https://www.instagram.com/p/CCrqm7UgYtn/ (warning: sometimes there are legitimately sad posts, but Steve's captions always exude the love he has for these animals.)
Ok, I just need to know...is everyone following @thebreakfasteur on IG?! Because she has definitely been a new treasure for me. She recreates surgical procedures with play-doh and I can’t 👏🏻 stop👏🏻watching👏🏻
My first aid kit as a 2 involves baking and GBBO and crying hacks and thinking about how all of that still isn't really real processing or helping. The week was full of introspection and thinking and crying out to God to show me where I'm supposed to be in "all of this." I'm so happy I started to involve myself in this community more, it's *chef's kiss*
Treasures: My niece came up to me yesterday and handed me a handful of home made confetti. She said "These are your joy petals. We throw them up in the air and say the magic word." Me: "What's the magic word?" Niece: "Adventure." Me: "Okay let's do it." And it legit did made me feel joy.
I made peach pie today, we've been waiting all week for the peaches to ripen and it was worth the wait. See below.
l had a good conversation with a new friend where I communicated my expectations and desires for the relationship instead of defaulting to my 2-ness and saying yeah sure I'll do whatever you want to do. It was a good moment, an adult moment.
Andi's season of the Bachelorette is on Hulu right now and I kinda love it. I forgot how much I loved her and what a strong independent woman she is. However, she does like to stir s**t up, always trying to get the guys to tell her what the house drama is.
Turds: I spent the greater part of Wednesday on hold with my insurance company and different pharmacies trying to figure out why my prescriptions were being changed to a different generic that my insurance didn't cover and was three times as much as I was paying before. It did have a happy ending. I switched my script to another pharmacy that carries a third type of generic that my insurance fully covers!
My grad classes start up again on Monday and I'm not looking forward to a decrease in free time that will be replaced with reading entire books in a week. I love my program and what I'm learning, I just don't love homework in my late 30s.
P.S I just tried for too long to include a photo of the peach pie but I give up now.
This has not been a super awesome week. I came back from vacation feeling...very anxious and unhappy about kind of...everything? I'm a five (said a few times here now...) and it's very hard for me to stop and try and feel my feels. So my vacation kind of helped me stop working (except for all the work I did on vacation because...yeah) and instead of rejuvenated I felt really deflated.
This week at work I had a two hour "talk" with my supervise-e about his performance among other things and I don't mind talking to him or telling him he's not doing things right (again, five) but I do HATE two hour zoom calls. After an hour long staff meeting. And then just a hard week full of manual labor that leaves me exhausted. And then getting yelled at through text by one of my coworkers when all I was trying to do was be helpful.
So after being yelled at I cried for like an hour and guys I HATE CRYING AND FEELINGS. So this has all been very hard and I am post cry coma-ing on the couch wrapped in a blanket while my guy watches reruns of jeopardy and I am already dreading work on Monday.
So I mean at least the weather has been nice. I'm going to go turn into a puddle of goo now. Plz send help.
My first aid kit has not been healthy, I’ll admit. I used my maternity leave as time to achieve ALL.THE.THINGS like trying to paint my bathroom in a day, revamping my laundry room, doing dump runs and organizing random drawers and deep cleaning my fridge. And I then brag about such activities to my husband in order to get validation for the things I check off my list. Yes, I am a 3. (Because none of this is done perfectly. No 1 perfection over here.)
And occasionally I go to bed at 8 pm or earlier and refuse to acknowledge my feelings on anything. Yes I’ve been to therapy and yes I know that acknowledgment of my emotions is not a weakness. #safespace
I have nothing else to say of importance except I’m tired because baby boy decided sleeping at night for long stretches of time is not for him.
However, I love reading all your comments. In a world where I have begun to loathe the internet (and worry that I perhaps I dislike/am deeply stressed out by most humans due to their hateful acts and/or beliefs in conspiracies), you all are very delightful.
I also confess to having a West Coast bias toward the rest of the country so it is good for me to read life updates from people from all over. The South! Florida! The Midwest! New Hampshire! It honestly helps my faith in America quite a bit. Thank you for that.
Can we all agree that Amanda W. has hacked our crying today? Beautiful words! I love this group of awesome women!!
I still don’t know my number. All I know is that I binged OBX on Netflix this week and it was exactly what I needed. Dumb but just can’t stop watching 10 episode escape from 2020. Thank you. Also, now what?
So I watched the Alanis video.
Can we talk about this being the perfect example of so much pandemic parenting.
Woman is filming for a national show.
Performing her work
Showcasing her work
Singing about parenting, sharing messages to her children.
And she's having to parent at the same time.
Isn't it Ironic........dontcha thing?
Like, she handles it.
She pushes through.
But at the same time, DANG Mr. Alanis (I know he has a name but right now he's MR. ALANIS) like support your wife, the mother of your children and let your amazingly talented woman SHINE.
I wish she could have a take two to do this alone and sing it even louder and proud.
YOU are my Lil Treasure this week!!!
Okay, I finally had a chance to read Amanda’s story and this has to be noted first: “residents of The Alley loved some capitalization.” 😂 Yes. Yes, we do.
But, Amanda Waters, you have written a glorious story that will endure in my thoughts for some time. Thank you for this gift! It took me to Narnia and The Secret Garden (duh) and “Because of Winn Dixie” all at once, and it’s just glorious. I said that already. Words fail me. 🥰
For the record, my doorway is always through a wardrobe. 🦁
9 here! Long time reader, first time poster. Hamilton has become my multipurpose first aid kit. Do I need a pick me up? Schuyler Sisters. Do I need to cry? It's Quiet Uptown on repeat while sobbing in the shower. Closer runner up - Taylor Swift's new album.
My real life treasure this week was my family full of strong women. They circled the wagons around me and I have never felt so loved. My mom (only 63) has been rapidly declining mentally over the past year and just got a dementia diagnosis. It has obviously been devastating. My dad (who has Parkinson's) has just not been able to process getting her help, so I've sort of taken the lead. It is challenging because I never know which dad I'm going to get from one day to the next - Cooperative Dad or Defensive Dad. Everyone including my therapist keeps telling me how strong and brave I am, when really I feel like I've just made a few phone calls to doctors and taken her to some appointments and researched until I'm blue in the face (OK, maybe I deserve a little credit). Anyway, my grandma and her sister, both powerful, successful women, especially given the era they came up in, got the rest of the girls in the family together for a cry session / business-of-caring-for-terminally-ill info session. While not easy, it was such a much needed comfort to our souls. Are the men in our family great? Sure. Are we going to count on them to get us though any of this? Nah.
Ladies, this is the hardest work I have ever done. And I've done some hard work in the past. None of my real life friends can identify with what I'm going through at all, because **our moms are too young for this!!** Their moms are coming to watch their kids, sending them pics of cute outfits from Target, and I'm over here pouting because my mom can't even remember to call me anymore.
I guess I'm spilling my guts here because as I've lurked for several months you have shown me this is a safe and loving space. And if anyone happens to have walked through something like this, I am accepting any and all advice/encouragement/prayers.
Thank you all for the kind words about the story! I'm just glad you liked it. It was fun. And thanks for sharing it, Erin. I admit, I had a major vulnerability hangover after I emailed it, but watching 3 hours of Grantchester under a blanket helped. 😉
Hi friends!
Amanda, that short story was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.💜
Top of the list on my enneagram 9 self care kit is currently exercise. During corona, I have found out that a workout is often the very thin barrier holding back a deluge of feelings and desires to fade into the corner of my couch all day. I now reserve the fading into the couch for the nighttime and call it balance 🤷🏼♀️I've also resorted to online shopping while netflix binging. Regardless of how the school year starts, at least I have a cute outfit.
I started listening to The Ballard of Songbirds and Snakes (Hunger Games prequel). I am enjoying it more than I thought I would considering my general disdain for President Snow.
For my belated birthday and graduation celebration, I am going to spend the weekend at a friends and I am over the moon. We been corona prepping and working to ensure we're safe in doing so, but dang it feels good to get a glimpse of normal. We've planned a Hamilton themed brunch for the two of us since we couldn't view the premiere together.
Cheering you all on as we made it through another week!❤️
TwinsthenewTrend is so great! The problem is... I can't decide which one to watch next! "In the Air Tonight" and "Killing Me Softly" were both great.