It has been...a bit since I’ve had the energy comment but I’m still here. It was a few very difficult months BUT my mew mental health meds are working and I feel like an actual person again. Like, better than I’ve felt since college. Even my therapist mentioned how odd it was to see me so happy (in a good way).
In the last few weeks I’ve been actually sleeping and waking up without immediately feeling overwhelmed and it’s still like Christmas morning. I’m halfway through my fist semester of grad school and finally feel like I’m not drowning.
I’ve been able to read again! Like, really read! I’ve been devouring books the last few weeks and it’s possible the best thing to happen in years. I missed it so much.
We’re navigating the expansion of hours the public is allowed in at my library and we’re likely going to be asked to go back to pre-Covid hours and services soon and it is a bit scary but I’m trying not to think about it until necessary. There not much else to do at this point.
I get my second dose of the the vaccine this week and I am thrilled! I feel such relief already.
I do have something I’d love your thoughts/suggestions on: I’m in the proof deconstructing the faith I grew up with, which like many of us, was evangelical Christianity. I am at the point where I want to burn it all down and I’m struggling to find resources that don’t start with the assumption that Jesus is still the center - if that makes sense? I know it’s not common because most of us are deconstructing the culture and toxic beliefs around Christianity but still believe in the basic principles of Jesus as the son of God and I’d like some resources that go back even further?
Holy smokes this playlist is everything!!!!!!! So much nostalgia for my evangelical youth group days, drives to conventions, and human music videos (anyone else?). I'm literally sitting on my toilet (the only place I get service on my newly purchased acreage) downloading it to my Spotify so I can listen without wifi. This was important enough to post about. Thanks Erin! Lol
For my Star Trek peeps, First Contact Day was Monday and a lot of good content is up on YouTube in celebration. There are several panels (I haven't watched everything yet, but highly recommend the celebration of Nichelle Nichols) plus new trailers for all the things. The Lower Decks trailer made me laugh so hard I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the actual show.
It looks like everything in my yard that I care about survived the winter storm. Spring in Texas is my favorite.
I'm planning on informing my boss in the next month or so that I'm not renewing my contract. I need a tiny Tom Hanks on my shoulder whispering "it's not personal, it's business" because we're in the midst of a lot of staff turnover and if there's one thing that I hate doing, it's inconveniencing other people.
Honoring my commitment to participate and not lurk...here I am. A day and a half late so that tells you how my week went! I’ve actually really loved reading all of you guys comments and seeing the Lil Swipe community love.
I have a long rant inside my head about people making comments on anyone’s bodies for any reason. But Saturday domestic duties are calling. Short version: it has more to do with their insecurities and inability to articulate, none of which are the comment recipients responsibility! ...oof I almost got started there...
Hope you all have a most fantastic weekend and hopefully get some rest. Rest is so important!
That playlist is my playlist. I STILL listen to Enter The Worship Circle when I need a little comfort food for my ears (comfort audio?), and yes I DID back the Waterdeep album on Kickstarter last year. Also, raise your hand if you saw SCC on the "Great Adventure" tour three times <raises hand>
On Monday my husband and I got our second dose of the vaccine 🙌 It kicked my butt on Tuesday (mostly just exhausted and zapped of all energy, but thankfully no fever), and have been feeling a bit better everyday. Also just so thankful for super cool miraculous science.
Also, I had a job interview this morning!! It was for a position at a college in a different state, and overall I think it went pretty well! My husband and I are trying to move from SoCal to Oregon, so this is the first exciting step in a long season of waiting.
I've really enjoyed reading all of your comments today, and I hope you have the loveliest weekend available to you. ✨
Life is still sad/mad here but in the midst of the storm I got to celebrate a friend’s birthday by going for a pedicure with her. It was such a treat both for the pedicure and time with her. I can’t even express how much my soul has been craving my friends. Our pedicures felt so fast that we grabbed Starbucks and drove around and then parked out front of my house for an hour. Neither of us wanting our time to end. My friend is a e9 and so I suggested we decide once (thanks, Kendra) to always go for pedicures together to celebrate her birthday. We are both thrilled at the idea. She’s thrilled for never having to decide again and I’m thrilled because I just clinched a best friend pedicure date annually. Win win.
My mom is getting her v today and she’s scared. The doctor told her “c will for sure kill you and the v will only maybe kill you, so it’s worth the risk”. It sounds extreme but my mom has been known to have allergic reactions to all sorts of things. I’m hopeful for her to be able to get out of isolation. We live across Canada from each their so I don’t get to be there to go with her. Separation is the pandemic that I’m most suffering from. I’m not minimizing C, for those who have suffered that. I just really miss my people! I hope spring is springing where you are and hope follows.
Hey friends! I always want to post on here but almost never do so here goes. I have debated on and off for the past few years if I should seek counseling. Its a long story but I finally decided it was time. It is hard for the enneagram 9 to say what I want, express my needs, etc. I told my husband and bestie so they could help me to follow through AND I actually called a couple counselors and scheduled a consult. It feels good and terrifying. I feel like I should make myself one of Erin's adulting awards!
Treasures:
-This week I started the newest Stitch-A-Long with @thebarmyfox on Instagram. She offered up a free embroidery pattern and does a daily video to teach the stitches. Its fun and soothing to my soul. If anyone is interested, you can start any time. The videos aren't live and are saved on her IG page.
-Taylor Swift new Fearless album (old songs redone)- need I say more?
I was absent from the comments last week because I just didn't have the capacity to contribute, ya know? Life updates/treasures/turds from the last couple of weeks:
-Treasure: I got my second dose of the vaccine (and it kicked my ass), and feeling so good about it! I don't think it hit me right away like a lot of people, but I've slowly felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders in the couple weeks since I got it.
-Treasure: We tasted cakes for the wedding last weekend and, you guys, this cake is going to be amazzzzzing. The Boy has celiac and I also can't eat gluten, so we found a dedicated gluten free place for our mini wedding cake and some extra sheet cake for other GF guests if needed (don't worry, there will be regular cake too). The owner was talking with us at the beginning of the tasting and said their philosophy is not to make good gluten free food, but to make great food that just happens to be gluten free (if you know the struggles of eating gluten free, you know this is a very important thing). So. This cake. You guys. It might be the best cake I've ever had. We got to choose four flavors each of cake, filling, and frosting, and it was all deconstructed so we could mix and match to choose combos. We're going to have a mini two-tiered wedding cake for the cutting and pictures and such, so Michael and I each get to choose our own tier (and yes, you may be thinking, but Sarah, you guys are only going to get a bite of cake at your wedding. And you are probably correct. But. I am assigning someone the job of packing us to-go containers of the amazing dinner and big ol' slices of cake to take with us). I chose almond poppy seed cake with lemon curd filling and vanilla buttercream. You guys. This flavor combo. Amazing. Michael is still undecided, but is leaning toward espresso cake with coconut pecan filling. We're going a little more classic for the sheet cakes (vanilla w/ freshly made raspberry compote, and chocolate with salted caramel filling). The stars of the show, in my opinion, were the almond poppy seed cake and lemon curd. I could have eaten the whole bowl of lemon curd with a spoon. YUM.
-Treasure/update: The Boy and I have a reading challenge going this year. Whoever reads the most books (must be ones we haven't read before, and we're not counting audio books) gets to be taken out to a v v fancy dinner at the end of the year by the other. I am currently winning. That is all. 😂
-Turdlet: Why did no one tell me choosing music for my wedding would be the most challenging part of planning? I am overthinking the lyrics and tempo and ev.er.y.thing. about every song for the ceremony and I am now torn between two songs for our first dance even though I was previously sure about that one. Have I ever remembered any significant song from any wedding I've been in/attended? No. Am I still overthinking this HARD? Yes. 🤦🏽
-Treasure: I have wine waiting for me at home when I get off work tonight.
My treasure this week is that I'm getting my first vaccine this afternoon, and my husband got his yesterday!
But also, then I started thinking about how that means it won't be much longer until it's safe to travel again, and I'm going to have to figure out what to do about seeing my parents. Long(ish) story, but my dad blocked me on Facebook last summer and we've only spoken twice since then (he's texted me plenty of Breitbart articles and Ben Shapiro Facebook posts though).
I want to figure out how to still have a relationship with my parents, but it was so much easier with the pandemic as a reason not to go see them.
I missed hanging out with y'all in the comments last week so I'm super happy that my schedule today is shaping up to be more newsletter friendly.
In no particular order
- therapy is going really well and after just a few weeks the things I've been carrying feel a little lighter.
- Last weekend was so good for my soul. My very dearest friend from college came to town and we got to have dinner with her and her husband. All of us are post vaccine and we got to enjoy giant crawfish, cocktails and giggles. It was the closest to normal that I have felt in so long. The next night we got to see them again with our local besties for a back yard hang out. Just so happy.
- Most of my family is post vaccine so we are having a belated Easter / Vaccine Celebration tomorrow at my sisters house in college station. Family Fiesta complete with fajitas, margaritas and tissue paper flower decor. Obviously this is a treasure. Sadly it's tinged with a little gray since it necessitated a not-so-fun conversation with baby sister who cannot seem to keep her life together, is not vaccinated (do to lack of effort) and is generally around more people than any of us combined. Everything is fine, and will be fine, but it's just tough.
- In another act of vaccine victory we booked a June trip to Florida. We are staying with one of Jon's cousins in Punta Gorda for most of the trip and spending 3 days in Orlando...and most importantly visiting Universal Studios and Harry Potter World!!!!!! I'm totally nerding out.
- PROUD MOM MOMENT: My favorite first born earned a scholarship to Texas A&M Summer Sea Camp! She will spend a week this summer learning about Coral Reefs, Crabs and Cephalopods. https://www.instagram.com/p/CNTpYNkLChF/
I'm sure there is more that I wanted to share, but I have been interrupted 12 bajillion times by children who are super unfocused and just generally challenging so we'll just end it here. Hope you all had a blessed week, a happy Friday and a great weekend.
We made it! Last week the Lord reminded me that mentally chastising myself as "dummy" did NOT qualify as being gentle with myself. Why is reworking our self talk so hard? Had one of those weeks where the perfect storm of all the things felt like too much, but cranked up Kendra's Breezy Instrumental Playlist and did one thing at a time. I did find a little treasure at the Hob Lob that was on super clearance to hold all the floss for my post-pandemic hobby of cross stitching! Ready for this weekend and the spiritual practice of pizza/movie night tonight!
We had school Wed-Fri this week... I looked in my pocket for the keys that were in my hand this morning, so I'm doing great.
I had my first counseling appointment on Tuesday and it was already really helpful, she reminded me of some things I already know and just confirmed that, yes this has been a lot and feeling overwhelmed and anxious is expected. I'd been planning to move this summer, but she's really encouraged me to bum that up so that I am living alone and can quiet time in the evening to recharge. Pray that I'm able to find a reasonably priced apartment, that's part of why I ended up moving in with a roommate.
We've moved from hybrid to fully online or fully in person 5 days a week. I gained about 6 kids so all my classes are 8+ and it's actually gone really well. I forgot how tiring it is, but the new kids have jumped right in and have been a lot of fun.
I'm tentatively planning a girl's day in Ashville for my birthday next week!
That whole commenting/touching the pregnant lady never happened to me. I don't *think* I have a resting bitch face, but obviously I've given off some kind of vibe that prompts those people to reconsider approaching me. My family and in-laws are all very polite people and would never say anything, but strangers always left me alone too. Or if they asked, it didn't bother me - can any other enneagram 9s confirm that we assume they're just making conversation and not being rude? Or is that my own special brand of enabling?
I finally finished listening to all 48 hours of The Stand this week, and now I feel like I need to bleach my ears. Stephen King is to writing what Quentin Tarantino is to film - incredibly talented, but way too far into R territory for me to be able to really enjoy.
That really all I've got this week. So many of you are dealing with heavy stuff - vaccine-hesitant family, post-pandemic culture shock, etc. - that I'm just going to sit here for a bit and pray for you. I have bandwidth that maybe you don't right now, so I hope you can rest and breathe and know you're not alone or ignored.
One of the nice things about being pregnant during a pandemic is the lack of seeing folks and so the lack of comments. Since this is my 6th total pregnancy, I started showing QUICK. However, I feel like most of the comments I've gotten in the past have been gender related, and I will not stand for random folks commenting in front of my brood of boys "oh, weren't you hoping for a girl?" "Oh, I'm so sorry (it's another boy)." Well, I am not sorry at all, M'AM, please move along with your shopping.
It's been one of those weeks where there's been tears, tears, and more tears - mostly my own. I did have some of those hard conversations I talked about last week with my husband, and it was good but also emotionally exhausting. So I kind of feel like I've been running on a half-tank all week. Add mostly rain, mostly cold weather, and my mood has just been a hard MEH.
There were some treasures, even if I had to look hard for them:
1. Due to the first conversation with the hubs, we decided we needed to make communication more of a priority in our marriage, and have scheduled weekly Hard Talk Walks. Anyone else find it easier to talk to your spouse/significant other/anyone when you're doing something together? We had our first one this week and my husband opened up a lot about some stuff I had no idea was going on in his head. Taking the win.
2. John Mark McMillan on repeat on Spotify. Something about his music and the rainy week just went together. When he breaks into Stand By Me during one of his songs, well, stick a fork in me.
3. Books, books, books. The last 3 I've read have been so good:
- Stand All the Way Up by Sophie Hudson (I've never felt so known reading a book before).
- Me, Myself, and Bob by Phil Vischer (inspired by The Holy Post podcast) (Fun fact: I attended the same Bible college he talks about in the book).
- Current Read: I Am Restored by Lecrae. Ooof. It is hitting me in the heart and gut in so many ways.
- Rereading: The Very Good Gospel by Lisa Sharon Harper. This was one of my favorite books of last year, and I am so excited to discuss it with others.
4. Making photo books. I'm super behind on this, but have started working on some big trips that we took in 2017 and 2012 (yeah, I'm that behind) and golly, I love seeing my kiddos as wee babes and toddlers again.
5. Curbside Find: this rarely happens to me, but the other day I was heading to the store solo (!!!) and passed a freebie on the curb that I thought "hmm, maybe the boys would like that." I decided to wait, and if it was still there on my way home from shopping, I would snag it. Lo and behold, it was still there, and now my boys are OBSESSED with this crazy Hot Wheels garage. It is massive, but it was free so I don't even care. Plus, they spend HOURS playing together with it, and I've only had to remind them to use kind words once. Thank-you to the neighbor who put this magic on the curb.
Happy weekend to you from Kansas. I'm going to go listen to Erin's Spotify playlist and weep and recall my Bible college years with both nostalgia and side-eye...
Lots of love to this little corner of the interwebs!
It has been...a bit since I’ve had the energy comment but I’m still here. It was a few very difficult months BUT my mew mental health meds are working and I feel like an actual person again. Like, better than I’ve felt since college. Even my therapist mentioned how odd it was to see me so happy (in a good way).
In the last few weeks I’ve been actually sleeping and waking up without immediately feeling overwhelmed and it’s still like Christmas morning. I’m halfway through my fist semester of grad school and finally feel like I’m not drowning.
I’ve been able to read again! Like, really read! I’ve been devouring books the last few weeks and it’s possible the best thing to happen in years. I missed it so much.
We’re navigating the expansion of hours the public is allowed in at my library and we’re likely going to be asked to go back to pre-Covid hours and services soon and it is a bit scary but I’m trying not to think about it until necessary. There not much else to do at this point.
I get my second dose of the the vaccine this week and I am thrilled! I feel such relief already.
I do have something I’d love your thoughts/suggestions on: I’m in the proof deconstructing the faith I grew up with, which like many of us, was evangelical Christianity. I am at the point where I want to burn it all down and I’m struggling to find resources that don’t start with the assumption that Jesus is still the center - if that makes sense? I know it’s not common because most of us are deconstructing the culture and toxic beliefs around Christianity but still believe in the basic principles of Jesus as the son of God and I’d like some resources that go back even further?
Holy smokes this playlist is everything!!!!!!! So much nostalgia for my evangelical youth group days, drives to conventions, and human music videos (anyone else?). I'm literally sitting on my toilet (the only place I get service on my newly purchased acreage) downloading it to my Spotify so I can listen without wifi. This was important enough to post about. Thanks Erin! Lol
For my Star Trek peeps, First Contact Day was Monday and a lot of good content is up on YouTube in celebration. There are several panels (I haven't watched everything yet, but highly recommend the celebration of Nichelle Nichols) plus new trailers for all the things. The Lower Decks trailer made me laugh so hard I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the actual show.
It looks like everything in my yard that I care about survived the winter storm. Spring in Texas is my favorite.
I'm planning on informing my boss in the next month or so that I'm not renewing my contract. I need a tiny Tom Hanks on my shoulder whispering "it's not personal, it's business" because we're in the midst of a lot of staff turnover and if there's one thing that I hate doing, it's inconveniencing other people.
Happy weekend!
Honoring my commitment to participate and not lurk...here I am. A day and a half late so that tells you how my week went! I’ve actually really loved reading all of you guys comments and seeing the Lil Swipe community love.
I have a long rant inside my head about people making comments on anyone’s bodies for any reason. But Saturday domestic duties are calling. Short version: it has more to do with their insecurities and inability to articulate, none of which are the comment recipients responsibility! ...oof I almost got started there...
Hope you all have a most fantastic weekend and hopefully get some rest. Rest is so important!
I don’t get the “Spaghetti Straps” tweet about Rachel Hollis. Anyone feel like filling me in, Swipies?
That playlist is my playlist. I STILL listen to Enter The Worship Circle when I need a little comfort food for my ears (comfort audio?), and yes I DID back the Waterdeep album on Kickstarter last year. Also, raise your hand if you saw SCC on the "Great Adventure" tour three times <raises hand>
Good morning internet friends! ✨
On Monday my husband and I got our second dose of the vaccine 🙌 It kicked my butt on Tuesday (mostly just exhausted and zapped of all energy, but thankfully no fever), and have been feeling a bit better everyday. Also just so thankful for super cool miraculous science.
Also, I had a job interview this morning!! It was for a position at a college in a different state, and overall I think it went pretty well! My husband and I are trying to move from SoCal to Oregon, so this is the first exciting step in a long season of waiting.
I've really enjoyed reading all of your comments today, and I hope you have the loveliest weekend available to you. ✨
Life is still sad/mad here but in the midst of the storm I got to celebrate a friend’s birthday by going for a pedicure with her. It was such a treat both for the pedicure and time with her. I can’t even express how much my soul has been craving my friends. Our pedicures felt so fast that we grabbed Starbucks and drove around and then parked out front of my house for an hour. Neither of us wanting our time to end. My friend is a e9 and so I suggested we decide once (thanks, Kendra) to always go for pedicures together to celebrate her birthday. We are both thrilled at the idea. She’s thrilled for never having to decide again and I’m thrilled because I just clinched a best friend pedicure date annually. Win win.
My mom is getting her v today and she’s scared. The doctor told her “c will for sure kill you and the v will only maybe kill you, so it’s worth the risk”. It sounds extreme but my mom has been known to have allergic reactions to all sorts of things. I’m hopeful for her to be able to get out of isolation. We live across Canada from each their so I don’t get to be there to go with her. Separation is the pandemic that I’m most suffering from. I’m not minimizing C, for those who have suffered that. I just really miss my people! I hope spring is springing where you are and hope follows.
Hey friends! I always want to post on here but almost never do so here goes. I have debated on and off for the past few years if I should seek counseling. Its a long story but I finally decided it was time. It is hard for the enneagram 9 to say what I want, express my needs, etc. I told my husband and bestie so they could help me to follow through AND I actually called a couple counselors and scheduled a consult. It feels good and terrifying. I feel like I should make myself one of Erin's adulting awards!
Treasures:
-This week I started the newest Stitch-A-Long with @thebarmyfox on Instagram. She offered up a free embroidery pattern and does a daily video to teach the stitches. Its fun and soothing to my soul. If anyone is interested, you can start any time. The videos aren't live and are saved on her IG page.
-Taylor Swift new Fearless album (old songs redone)- need I say more?
Hello, friends!
I was absent from the comments last week because I just didn't have the capacity to contribute, ya know? Life updates/treasures/turds from the last couple of weeks:
-Treasure: I got my second dose of the vaccine (and it kicked my ass), and feeling so good about it! I don't think it hit me right away like a lot of people, but I've slowly felt like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders in the couple weeks since I got it.
-Treasure: We tasted cakes for the wedding last weekend and, you guys, this cake is going to be amazzzzzing. The Boy has celiac and I also can't eat gluten, so we found a dedicated gluten free place for our mini wedding cake and some extra sheet cake for other GF guests if needed (don't worry, there will be regular cake too). The owner was talking with us at the beginning of the tasting and said their philosophy is not to make good gluten free food, but to make great food that just happens to be gluten free (if you know the struggles of eating gluten free, you know this is a very important thing). So. This cake. You guys. It might be the best cake I've ever had. We got to choose four flavors each of cake, filling, and frosting, and it was all deconstructed so we could mix and match to choose combos. We're going to have a mini two-tiered wedding cake for the cutting and pictures and such, so Michael and I each get to choose our own tier (and yes, you may be thinking, but Sarah, you guys are only going to get a bite of cake at your wedding. And you are probably correct. But. I am assigning someone the job of packing us to-go containers of the amazing dinner and big ol' slices of cake to take with us). I chose almond poppy seed cake with lemon curd filling and vanilla buttercream. You guys. This flavor combo. Amazing. Michael is still undecided, but is leaning toward espresso cake with coconut pecan filling. We're going a little more classic for the sheet cakes (vanilla w/ freshly made raspberry compote, and chocolate with salted caramel filling). The stars of the show, in my opinion, were the almond poppy seed cake and lemon curd. I could have eaten the whole bowl of lemon curd with a spoon. YUM.
-Treasure/update: The Boy and I have a reading challenge going this year. Whoever reads the most books (must be ones we haven't read before, and we're not counting audio books) gets to be taken out to a v v fancy dinner at the end of the year by the other. I am currently winning. That is all. 😂
-Turdlet: Why did no one tell me choosing music for my wedding would be the most challenging part of planning? I am overthinking the lyrics and tempo and ev.er.y.thing. about every song for the ceremony and I am now torn between two songs for our first dance even though I was previously sure about that one. Have I ever remembered any significant song from any wedding I've been in/attended? No. Am I still overthinking this HARD? Yes. 🤦🏽
-Treasure: I have wine waiting for me at home when I get off work tonight.
Okay, that's all I've got. Happy Friday, friends!
My treasure this week is that I'm getting my first vaccine this afternoon, and my husband got his yesterday!
But also, then I started thinking about how that means it won't be much longer until it's safe to travel again, and I'm going to have to figure out what to do about seeing my parents. Long(ish) story, but my dad blocked me on Facebook last summer and we've only spoken twice since then (he's texted me plenty of Breitbart articles and Ben Shapiro Facebook posts though).
I want to figure out how to still have a relationship with my parents, but it was so much easier with the pandemic as a reason not to go see them.
That little girl! ANYTHING FOR SELENAS!
I missed hanging out with y'all in the comments last week so I'm super happy that my schedule today is shaping up to be more newsletter friendly.
In no particular order
- therapy is going really well and after just a few weeks the things I've been carrying feel a little lighter.
- Last weekend was so good for my soul. My very dearest friend from college came to town and we got to have dinner with her and her husband. All of us are post vaccine and we got to enjoy giant crawfish, cocktails and giggles. It was the closest to normal that I have felt in so long. The next night we got to see them again with our local besties for a back yard hang out. Just so happy.
- Most of my family is post vaccine so we are having a belated Easter / Vaccine Celebration tomorrow at my sisters house in college station. Family Fiesta complete with fajitas, margaritas and tissue paper flower decor. Obviously this is a treasure. Sadly it's tinged with a little gray since it necessitated a not-so-fun conversation with baby sister who cannot seem to keep her life together, is not vaccinated (do to lack of effort) and is generally around more people than any of us combined. Everything is fine, and will be fine, but it's just tough.
- In another act of vaccine victory we booked a June trip to Florida. We are staying with one of Jon's cousins in Punta Gorda for most of the trip and spending 3 days in Orlando...and most importantly visiting Universal Studios and Harry Potter World!!!!!! I'm totally nerding out.
- PROUD MOM MOMENT: My favorite first born earned a scholarship to Texas A&M Summer Sea Camp! She will spend a week this summer learning about Coral Reefs, Crabs and Cephalopods. https://www.instagram.com/p/CNTpYNkLChF/
I'm sure there is more that I wanted to share, but I have been interrupted 12 bajillion times by children who are super unfocused and just generally challenging so we'll just end it here. Hope you all had a blessed week, a happy Friday and a great weekend.
We made it! Last week the Lord reminded me that mentally chastising myself as "dummy" did NOT qualify as being gentle with myself. Why is reworking our self talk so hard? Had one of those weeks where the perfect storm of all the things felt like too much, but cranked up Kendra's Breezy Instrumental Playlist and did one thing at a time. I did find a little treasure at the Hob Lob that was on super clearance to hold all the floss for my post-pandemic hobby of cross stitching! Ready for this weekend and the spiritual practice of pizza/movie night tonight!
We had school Wed-Fri this week... I looked in my pocket for the keys that were in my hand this morning, so I'm doing great.
I had my first counseling appointment on Tuesday and it was already really helpful, she reminded me of some things I already know and just confirmed that, yes this has been a lot and feeling overwhelmed and anxious is expected. I'd been planning to move this summer, but she's really encouraged me to bum that up so that I am living alone and can quiet time in the evening to recharge. Pray that I'm able to find a reasonably priced apartment, that's part of why I ended up moving in with a roommate.
We've moved from hybrid to fully online or fully in person 5 days a week. I gained about 6 kids so all my classes are 8+ and it's actually gone really well. I forgot how tiring it is, but the new kids have jumped right in and have been a lot of fun.
I'm tentatively planning a girl's day in Ashville for my birthday next week!
That whole commenting/touching the pregnant lady never happened to me. I don't *think* I have a resting bitch face, but obviously I've given off some kind of vibe that prompts those people to reconsider approaching me. My family and in-laws are all very polite people and would never say anything, but strangers always left me alone too. Or if they asked, it didn't bother me - can any other enneagram 9s confirm that we assume they're just making conversation and not being rude? Or is that my own special brand of enabling?
I finally finished listening to all 48 hours of The Stand this week, and now I feel like I need to bleach my ears. Stephen King is to writing what Quentin Tarantino is to film - incredibly talented, but way too far into R territory for me to be able to really enjoy.
That really all I've got this week. So many of you are dealing with heavy stuff - vaccine-hesitant family, post-pandemic culture shock, etc. - that I'm just going to sit here for a bit and pray for you. I have bandwidth that maybe you don't right now, so I hope you can rest and breathe and know you're not alone or ignored.
One of the nice things about being pregnant during a pandemic is the lack of seeing folks and so the lack of comments. Since this is my 6th total pregnancy, I started showing QUICK. However, I feel like most of the comments I've gotten in the past have been gender related, and I will not stand for random folks commenting in front of my brood of boys "oh, weren't you hoping for a girl?" "Oh, I'm so sorry (it's another boy)." Well, I am not sorry at all, M'AM, please move along with your shopping.
It's been one of those weeks where there's been tears, tears, and more tears - mostly my own. I did have some of those hard conversations I talked about last week with my husband, and it was good but also emotionally exhausting. So I kind of feel like I've been running on a half-tank all week. Add mostly rain, mostly cold weather, and my mood has just been a hard MEH.
There were some treasures, even if I had to look hard for them:
1. Due to the first conversation with the hubs, we decided we needed to make communication more of a priority in our marriage, and have scheduled weekly Hard Talk Walks. Anyone else find it easier to talk to your spouse/significant other/anyone when you're doing something together? We had our first one this week and my husband opened up a lot about some stuff I had no idea was going on in his head. Taking the win.
2. John Mark McMillan on repeat on Spotify. Something about his music and the rainy week just went together. When he breaks into Stand By Me during one of his songs, well, stick a fork in me.
3. Books, books, books. The last 3 I've read have been so good:
- Stand All the Way Up by Sophie Hudson (I've never felt so known reading a book before).
- Me, Myself, and Bob by Phil Vischer (inspired by The Holy Post podcast) (Fun fact: I attended the same Bible college he talks about in the book).
- Current Read: I Am Restored by Lecrae. Ooof. It is hitting me in the heart and gut in so many ways.
- Rereading: The Very Good Gospel by Lisa Sharon Harper. This was one of my favorite books of last year, and I am so excited to discuss it with others.
4. Making photo books. I'm super behind on this, but have started working on some big trips that we took in 2017 and 2012 (yeah, I'm that behind) and golly, I love seeing my kiddos as wee babes and toddlers again.
5. Curbside Find: this rarely happens to me, but the other day I was heading to the store solo (!!!) and passed a freebie on the curb that I thought "hmm, maybe the boys would like that." I decided to wait, and if it was still there on my way home from shopping, I would snag it. Lo and behold, it was still there, and now my boys are OBSESSED with this crazy Hot Wheels garage. It is massive, but it was free so I don't even care. Plus, they spend HOURS playing together with it, and I've only had to remind them to use kind words once. Thank-you to the neighbor who put this magic on the curb.
Happy weekend to you from Kansas. I'm going to go listen to Erin's Spotify playlist and weep and recall my Bible college years with both nostalgia and side-eye...
Lots of love to this little corner of the interwebs!