What the Hell Do I Do About Dating: The Co-Op #27

It's uh...kinda wild out here.

What is The Co-op?

It’s no secret the Swipe Up community is one of the best corners of the World Wide Web, and that is because of you. Since a girl’s girl doesn’t gatekeep, it would be wrong of me to hoard all that goodness for myself when we could be using our powers for the benefit of one another. Thus, the Co-op was born. Have a puzzling co-worker dilemma or a weird landlord or landmine faith question? Together we lasso the power of the Lil Swipes Hive Mind to help one another with our tricky conundrums and provide helpful judgment-free answers or suggestions. Like Wonder Woman, but a lot of us and with comfier pants.

How does it work?

Every so often, I gather questions from the Lil Swipes and choose one to post (you can submit your own question by clicking the button below). We then open up the comments and watch as the wisdom and experience roll right on in. Maybe you recently listened to a podcast episode that would be helpful, or you walked through something similar, or your job happens to make you an expert in the field! Maybe you made a mistake in your own life and you want to share how you learned what not to do. Or maybe you just want to lurk in the comments because you have the same question. The Co-op is part tool, part crowdsourcing advice, and part “oh thank goodness I am not alone.”

Today’s question is from Anonymous!

Anonymous please but I would like some general advice/wisdom on dating post-asking questions in your faith. I was dumped last year by a “good Christian guy” (the kind of guy I was taught you needed to wait for) because he found out my mom works outside the home, so while I’m kind of grateful we didn’t get very far I’m still sort of looking around like, “what is happening here?” I’m seeing this great dude now who grew up in the church, and while he believes in a higher power, he’s not convinced that higher power is Jesus, but he’s also kind and thoughtful and a wonderful person. I’m just confused. What am I supposed to do about sex now as a 28-year-old? I’m very happy as a single person, but I’m not opposed to being with someone if it’s the right someone, but like…what and how and huh? I feel like we were all sold this story that if we did all the right things, the perfect husband would appear to make all our good Christian wife dreams come true, and the reality of the situation is becoming clear, so now I don’t know how to proceed.

Just feed me a giant pretzel and tell me I’m pretty. I’m not a complicated person.

Reminders/Grains of Salt:

Don’t be judge-y or creepy.
Keep each other’s confidence well.
Resources, wisdom, experience, and general solidarity are all welcomed.
Disrespectful comments will be deleted post haste.
Even though we’re sharing personal struggles here, we’re probably not privy to the whole story.
We’re not anyone’s pastor or therapist, just well-meaning internet strangers.

Take a look at previous Co-op posts:

⛪️ The Co-op #1: Helping Your Kids with Questions of Faith
🌆 The Co-op #2: Making Friends in a New City
💼 The Co-op #3: Changing Careers
🧯 The Co-op #4: Taking Care When The World is On Fire
🦺 The Co-op #5: Setting Boundaries with Adult Parents
✅ The Co-op #6: Parenting a Kid with ADHD
✈️ The Co-op #7: Sending Your People Off Into the World
✝️ The Co-op #8: Struggling with a Changing Faith
❤️ The Co-op #9: Cultivating Hearts of Mercy
🪡 The Co-op #10: Managing Expectations with Adult Children
👯‍♀️ The Co-op #11: Discerning the End of a Friendship
👶 The Co-op #12: To Parent or Not to Parent
🤝 The Co-op #13: Talking About Faith When You & Your Partner Aren't on the Same Page
📊 The Co-op #14: Navigating Different Friendship Capacities
🫶 The Co-op #15: Making Friends as a Grown-Up
💪 The Co-op #16: Making Decisions from a Place of Strength
🥊 The Co-op #17: Respectful Disagreements in Matters of Faith
👖 The Co-op #18: Dressing for the Body We Have
🛣️ The Co-op #19: Discerning Our Career Paths
🤷🏻‍♀️ The Co-op #20: How Can I Be Me in Spaces That Don't Want Me to Be Me?
👛 The Co-op #21: How Do I Get Unstuck + Push Past Fear to Make Big Life Decisions?
👦 The Co-op #22: Raising Good Boys in a World that Loves Toxic Masculinity
🍑 The Co-op #23: Rethinking Sex Post-Purity Culture
😍 The Co-op #24: What are the small ways we're contributing to our own joy?
📆 The Co-op #25: Daily Devotionals That Don't Suck
🏋️‍♀️ The Co-op #26: Moving Your Body in Not-Stupid Ways

Make your own suggestion for The Co-op by clicking the button below! 👇

Alright, let’s see what we’ve got for Anonymous today in the comments! See you there!