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Hello and welcome to the first official Swipe Up of 2019! If you've been on my newsletter list for a while, you know that two weeks ago I announced something I've been working on for the past few months: a Lent guide (I don't feel like Lent is a super "exclamation point" type observance, so know that I wanted to put it in there, but it just wasn't right in context).
I'm telling the world (Instagram) about it today, but since you're a newsletter subscriber, you get this code right here (SWIPEUP) for 20% off the whole thing. I won't belabor the thing (I mean I will, just not right now), but if you want to grab a pre-order, head over to my website and take a gander. I pretty much want to throw up in my mouth about this, but I do hope you like it and I'm excited to potentially walk through Lent with you. *awkwardly bows, unsure how to leave the conversation, tips hat, realizes it was a mistake, runs away*
This Month’s Questions
How did you choose your kids' names? - @tisunge602
I weirdly got several questions about my kids' names this go-around, probably because it was Marlo's birthday and I used her full name in the post (Marlo Clementine), and people seem to get excited about Clementine. I really wanted to name her just Clementine, but Ben is my Lorne Michaels and he discourages my creativity for the benefit of a potential future in medicine or practicing law. I actually got so angry with Ben over the name of our first child that I took our wedding pictures off the wall. The only thing I ever wanted was to name my child after a character from my favorite novel, Lonesome Dove. When I suggested all iterations of Lonesome Dove names, I was laughed at. The only logical thing to do was to remove any evidence I ever loved this man. It was pretty rich that a guy who wanted to name our children anything from The Legend of Zelda was laughing at character names from a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, but it's fine, I'm obviously over it. I profoundly divorced him in my heart at that moment. Almost all of our kids are named for family: Alice (Ben's grandmother), Holland (my family has had a Holland in our family every three generations and we unwittingly followed the pattern), Clementine (my great-great grandfather's little sister), and Andrew (my brother is Adolphus Andrew Hicks the V, so Andrew is a THING) are all family names. I got real deep into our Ancestry.com account. We chose Marlo because we felt very strongly about one of our children having an alliteration name, and I conceded on Cyrus because I was either going to name my only son after my dad and grandfather, or Ben would need to find a new wife. So when he suggested Cyrus Andrew, I immediately nicknamed him Cy, and we shook on it then and there. We formalize all our agreements with a handshake, do you not?
Why do you call your home the Lunar Module? - @marilynlegiehn
You know how homes in Jane Austen's time had names? I've always been obsessed with that. Why don't we name our homes anymore? The first place Ben and I ever lived, we called Moon Landing (because our last name is Moon and I* think I'm hilarious). When we moved to Nashville for fifteen minutes, we called our apartment the Lunar Rover (I think we did anyway, I've blocked a lot of that out). We continued the trend when we moved into our current home and dubbed it the Lunar Module. I would like for this trend to catch on: please everyone name your home and tag me in it. Let's name our homes again!
I am an Enneagram newbie (1w2). Husband is fascinated but hates reading. Any suggestions on podcasts? - @meltheshortturnbow
This broken world is full of so many wonderful resources on the Enneagram, God bless it. Does hating to read include audiobooks? If not, I suggest the audio versions of The Road Back To You and The Complete Enneagram. If so, there are lots of great podcasts that are either just about the Enneagram, or touch on the topic. The Enneagram episode of The Liturgists, Typology, The Enneagram Journey with Suzanne Stabile: just a few to get you going. I assume all these are good. I'm a three, which means you know I only listened to the episodes that relate to my number.
What the Church Calendar Has Given Me,
or Guys I’ve Written So Many Words This Month
In O Heavy Lightness, I talk a little about the church calendar, and why it resonates with me so much. I wanted to share a little excerpt from the guide, so you can get a good idea of the tone of the thing: it's just us talking like we usually do. I tried not to be too stuffy or heady (mainly because I'm not capable of that). Anyway, here are th four gifts the church calendar has given me, excerpted from O Heavy Lightness:
(Pretend I've just given you so much good information on the church calendar. You're in awe of how much you know now.)
Let me be clear: that is a breathtakingly simple overview of the church calendar (please forgive me, old dead popes), but it serves our purpose here. Understanding at least the basics of the church calendar is helpful for me. Before I really dove into the schedule, I thought it was straight up weird. It bothered me that the church would try to tell me what to do and when to do it. You’re not the boss of me, church leaders! But now that I’ve experienced the rhythms of the calendar and the liturgy for a few years, it’s given me several gifts:
The first gift is movement.
Within the days portioned out during the year, I’m given space and guardrails to experience certain feelings. During Lent, no one is asking me to be happy and cheery: we’re supposed to be somber, we’re supposed to be introspective. The church calendar gives me markers throughout the year to say: I can hold sadness here. I can hold joy here. It pushes me through emotions that I might otherwise get stuck in, gently urging me forward with its cadence.
The second gift is remembrance.
It’s been said that Israel’s greatest sin was forgetting (idolatry and bad attitudes about manna are probably up there as well). God and someone made a covenant, and then two or three generations later, the covenant on the side of the people would be broken. They forgot God, they forgot their promises, and what was promised to them. This faulty memory is why we read about all the feast days in the Old Testament. These weren’t just weird religious parties; they were to remember what God had done. We also read “this occurred where so-and-so was buried.” And we’re like, that’s great, who cares? It was another way of remembering: what has God done? What do I need to remember? The church calendar establishes those markers in my own life, where I can look back and ask the same questions.
The third gift is direction.
When I was younger, I spent a lot of time flailing around with Muppet arms, trying to figure out what I should be Doing for Jesus™. What should my Quiet Time with Jesus™ look like? Am I Praying Correctly™? I could not establish a routine, which I now know is my Kryptonite. The church calendar, the Daily Office, praying the hours: all tools I can use to anchor myself in time, to ritualize my day. I thought this would sterilize my faith. I thought it would remove the passion from my relationship with Jesus. The religious culture of my youth threw a lot of shade towards The Checklist™: spending time with God is not a box to be ticked. And I understand the heart behind that sentiment. We don’t want our faith to be just another task we accomplish during our day. However, I would like to say that, when your heart is in the right place, the checklist can actually be helpful. The reason my Quiet Time with Jesus™ failed was because I was doing it based on my feelings. When spending time in prayer and devotion is ritualized, I am anchored and purposeful. The Checklist might be stifling for some, and I think that’s okay. That’s why we have hundreds of ways to worship and study and pray: because we were all made to connect differently.
The fourth gift is vocabulary.
For someone who puts words together for a living, it’s astonishing how often I blank on the right things to say. What I love about the liturgy found in the calendar is it gives me a way to understand how I’m feeling. I don’t often know how to vocalize or even internally suss out why I’m feeling a certain way: maybe I walked into a service angry. Or down. Or frustrated. These rhythms help connect me with God in those feelings and emotions. The liturgy isn’t magical, and it’s definitely not a cure-all. I don’t leave these same services suddenly problem-free. But I’m given a lexicon to explore my thoughts, and the tools I need to join up with God in the midst of my frustration, anger, confusion, or doubt.
What I Love This Month
Instagram follow: @jaceyverdicchio is a beautiful writer and I love her posts. She's also got a killer newsletter with a really original concept.
Podcast: In the Dark, Season 2
Music: Maggie Rogers (specifically on Current Mood, but all iterations)
Y'all I'm going to be real, I didn't love a lot this month. We'll try again next time.
This Month’s Links
Podcast: Confessions of a Crappy Christian: For When You Wear a Lot of Hats
Podcast: Good Life Project: To Succeed In Anything, Do This.
Article: Love After Life: Physicist Richard Feynman's Extraordinary Letter to His Departed Wife
Podcast: Gladiator
Article: Sandra Oh's Parents Reaction to Her Golden Globe Win is Literally THE Most Adorable Thing Ever
Video: Cakedonald's Is One of Andy Samberg's Greatest Gifts To Us
Podcast: Chompers
Instagram: @enneagramandcoffee
Announcement: "The Perfect Date" on Netflix
Beauty: Mario Badescu Drying Lotion
Music: Ben Rector covers
Article: Parents, Let Your Kids Fail. You'll Be Doing Them a Favor.
Article: Deep Inside Taco Bell's Doritos Loco Taco
Podcast: In the Dark, Season 2
Food: Tyler's BBQ in Amarillo, TX
Podcast: The Exile Podcast
Food: Barrel and Pie in Canyon, TX
Food: The Donut Stop in Canyon, TX
Article: Hacks to Clean and De-Clutter Your Computer (Inside and Out)
Article: Have Aliens Found Us?
Article: What People Actually Say Before They Die
Article: How To Stop Overthinking Everything, According to Therapists
Video: Katelyn Ohashi's Floor Routine
Article: To All The Moms I've Ignored Before
Blog Post: Crowd-Sourced Bible Studies: Repentant Pharisee Edition
Book: Sacred Questions by Kellye Fabian
Book: Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
Book: The Paragon Hotel by Lyndsay Faye (my Bookshelf Shelf Subscription pick!)
Journal: Just Between Us
Book: Predictable Success by Les McKeown
Book: Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson
Video: Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga Sing 'Shallow' Together Live
This Month’s Book
I haven't finished it yet, but I am really loving Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton. It's all about making space for spiritual transformation in your life. I'm very much at the stage where I appreciate everything she's saying, but I'm not ready to implement it, mainly because of schedule and life in general. However, I can see how badly I need to take her helpful practices and get them into my life. This is one of those I think I'll go back to often over the course of my life.