🗣 Lil Treasures #58: Showing Up Imperfectly and Going Where The Money Reside
Okay we got a lot to talk about...
Relax your shoulders. Take a deep breath. Let’s get into it.
When I put up the question box yesterday, I got a lot of 1) really great, curious, honest questions, and also a lot of 2) how are you dealing with this? I’ll answer that first.
You know that scene in Avengers Age of Ultron’s End Game or whatever when someone tells Hulk (this is a great description of the scene BTW) “it’s time to get mad” and he’s like “Baby, that’s my secret, I’m always mad.” That is me this entire year. I’m letting my broken-hearted rage push me into action. I am trying to be present with my husband as we try to shepherd our children. I am crying in the shower, but I am getting out of the shower and emailing my lawmakers. I’m trying to show up, however imperfectly. New mantra for 2021.
Okay let’s get into questions, but quickly, a disclaimer: most email providers are gonna cut this LONG EDITION of The Swipe Up because of its longness. I suggest clicking over to the site (erinhmoon.substack.com) to make sure it doesn’t get cut off in your inbox. While you’re there, I implore you, if you’ve never been a part of the comments section, to enjoy what I consider to be the best community on the internet. They are a joy, and you can come sit with us.
Okay, questions. Right. We were doing questions. I took usernames off because I wanted to.
Q: When are our leaders going to actually take action against racism and white supremacy?
A: I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is: our leaders are, generally, not entirely concerned with taking action against racism and white supremacy (I do not believe this is the case for all of them, but as they have to work together, often power adjacency will seep in and they do things like take lobbying money or water down their words or actions to remain palatable to everyone or whatever). Here’s the good news: as I talked about on the Mister Rogers episode of Faith Adjacent: Mister Rogers always talked about telling children to look for the helpers when things got scary. Guess what that makes us: the helpers. We are the helpers. We are the leaders. Our leaders in high places of government and business will often care about what the people care about: when they are loud and clear about what they want. So tell them. Show them with your actions and your wallet and your socials and your voice and what you give your attention to. That is a great place to start.
Q: Not trying to be a jerk, but can you explain what white supremacy had to do with the riots?
A: Some of the rioters at the Capitol Building not only publicly identify with The Proud Boys movement (note: this article also debunks something many of you asked about: the guy in the buffalo headdress seemingly showing up at a BLM protest last year FYI), but they marched on the building waving the Confederate flag, a known and recognized hate symbol. The rioters assembled a scaffolding and noose near the Capitol, a known and recognized symbol of the lynchings of Black men and women that took place in the South post-Civil War. I would also mention that many of the rioters were wearing the 6MWE shirts (a reference to how 6 million Jews exterminated during the Holocaust weren’t enough). There’s also the really clear difference between the level of security at the Capitol this summer during BLM protests and the lack of security earlier this week. I understand not everything has come to light about that (I’ve seen several different news items about this pop up just within the past hour, so I’m not going to say anything definitively), but it certainly is a large visual difference. This was a cocktail of white supremacy, Christian nationalism, and American Exceptionalism.
Q: What is Christian nationalism? I’d love for you to break it down.
A: I would, but dang if christiansagainstchristiannationalism.org hasn’t already done a great job of it. They have an excellent one-page resource that spells it all out, as well as a helpful 10-part podcast series that breaks it down. Highly recommend. Another insightful work on this topic and the way it intersects with white supremacy is Jemar Tisby’s The Color of Compromise.
Q: I need a way to explain to my parents that this is not the same as BLM protests.
A: Pastor Thabiti lays it out pretty succinctly here. 👇
I also find Dr. Edmondson’s simple sentence to be illuminating. 👇
Q: What to say to family/friends who claim this was Antifa?
A: Okay well, first of all, the President made a statement to the rioters that he loved them and they are very special people. Also, a Republican state delegate from West Virginia livestreamed as he stormed the Capitol, so he’s definitely not Antifa. Lots of the people filmed and photographed inside the Capitol are notable Trump supporters (they have popular social media channels and show up often at rallies). Here’s a helpful article to get more resources on this particular thing. Also, Representative Matt Gaetz (who referenced this claim on the House floor on Wednesday night) cited this article from the Washington Times, which has since been retracted and corrected.
Q: How do I find non-biased media so that I can understand what’s going on without someone inserting their opinion in it?
A: The best way to do this is to read a lot of different news outlets, as I have learned from the fine women of Pantsuit Politics. Do not read headlines, read articles. Look at this chart, which is helpful for knowing where news organizations stand. Get off of Facebook. Seriously. Pay for your news. Are you getting your news or information from someone who has a vested interest (likely financial) in things never improving? I also really love All Sides, which helps to clear out some of the rhetoric. My friend @devi_writes did a great story the other day on media literacy, saved in her highlights (also you should just follow Devi she is a wonderful follow/human).
Q: I think my fear is showing my idolatry. How can I leverage that without being overcome by it?
A: This is such an honest question and I have so much respect for it. Naming your fear is helpful - literally giving it a name (thank you, therapy). Then you can ask who is talking to you: is it Mildred? To absolutely butcher a Brene Brown concept: Mildred can ride in the car but she doesn’t get to tell you where you’re going. You used the word idolatry, so I’m going to assume you’re religious to some degree. Pray through this. Ask God to show you clearly when Mildred is at the helm. Ask Him to bring people into your life, or to anoint people who are already in it, to help you move past fear. Fear is not necessarily negative, it can be a good indicator of what we should pay attention to.
Q: What do I do with my anger? I want it to be productive.
A: I’m going to take a moment to speak directly to the white people in this room. This is a great question and it is the right question. The best thing that we can do is be productive with our anger. I really loved this infographic by @ohhappydani which LAYS IT OUT. Here are the two images of the slideshow in her post, as well as her caption:
Q: How to ask your church leaders to give more godly guidance instead of staying silent.
A: “When you stay silent on these issues, I feel as though you [insert how that makes you feel]. Something I need from you as my leader is to be clear and direct with how we as a congregation should respond, and how I as a congregant should respond. I need leadership from you.” Speak with them in person (if possible, we’re still in a pandemic), so that tone cannot be misconstrued or misinterpreted. Pray beforehand for clarity of thought and open hearts to receive what might be viewed as criticism.
Q: How do white people contribute in a meaningful way without being performative allies?
A: Follow Black leaders (I don’t just mean on social media, but I do also mean that). Join in the work they are already doing. Support them (this could be a retweet, a post, donate financially to causes, taking their courses, listening to their podcasts, purchasing using their affiliate links, buy their books). Do not depend on them to do the work for you. Check their massive bodies of work before you ask them to be your personal racial adviser. Call your lawmakers. When someone makes a racist joke, put a look of confusion on your face and ask them to explain why they think it’s funny. Stop them publicly. When your grandmother has opinions about the removal of Confederate statues, engage with her. Push her to explain what she means. Engage with them. Show the overtly and covertly racist people in your lives a better way. Live your life as a person of integrity. As my friend Retha says: “Live your life in community with people who do not look like you.” Go to school board meetings. Volunteer in your community (this is something I want to do better with this year). Pray (for yourself, for your people, for safety, for justice). We have to have hard conversations with people we love that will often feel like they are not fruitful, to the point that they may be painful. Mourn with those who mourn. Develop your compassion muscle. Ask questions to yourself and others. Make peace and work on yourself. Show up imperfectly. Resist the urge to center yourself. Don’t take yourself so seriously that you can’t be wrong. You will inevitably get it wrong. Listen and respond with the knowledge that you are always learning, always moving towards a heart committed to justice, love, mercy, and the flourishing of all people. Ask God to reveal ways that you might have prejudices in your own life. Examine your inner self. Remember that reconciliation comes after repentance, both public and private, whether intentional or otherwise.
Q: The riot on the Capitol Building was awful and disgusting for our nation. Violence from riots the same?
A: I think this question is asking if I condemn other acts of violence? Yes. I do. As a follower of Jesus, who told Peter to put his sword away and healed the injury of a guard about to arrest him, non-violence is a part of my belief system. I grieve for the lives lost at the Capitol Building this week, and I grieve for the lives lost to white supremacy and racism. But again, the BLM protests and the Capitol riot are not the same things. If you cannot see the differences between the two, I would suggest a quick lesson in critical thinking skills (I’m not being facetious or snide, I really do think that could benefit many of us). I would also ask yourself why you feel the need to engage in “whataboutism.” Here is an article about a recent report put out regarding the percentage of the BLM protests that were peaceful, versus what we saw earlier this week. Playing the “Both Sides” game displays a lack of accountability in confronting responsibility. As Admiral Ackbar says:
Q: It’s breaking my heart that family members have bought into dangerous propaganda. How do you engage with people you love who are buying into political conspiracies?
A: This is so hard. There is nothing more disorienting and painful than seeing someone you love, who claims to love you, disappear deeper and deeper into some of these prominent conspiracies. The people who raised you, the people who taught you Sunday school, the people who some of you have to live and work with on a daily basis: it’s beyond grief, truly. And I think this is honestly a case by case basis. Most of us are not licensed therapists or behavorial scientists, so we don’t necessarily have the tools to extract someone from a cult-like belief system. First, I would say allow yourself to grieve. I feel like, with almost everything, where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. Ask questions internally. What’s attractive to this line of thinking for this person? What’s causing them to fear in this way? Ask questions externally. Can you tell me more about that? Can you show me where you heard that? How does this make you feel? Press on it. Love your person. Show them that it hurts you or angers you because you love them. But also, there might come a time when you need to take a step back. You might have to set some boundaries about what you will and won’t discuss. You might have to take a break. Not out of a spirit of hatred, but out of love. Sometimes I have to take a break from my kids in the bathroom, because if I don’t I will do something or say something unloving towards them. So I take a break, not because I don’t love them, but because I do. In addition, I thought this was a really helpful interview. But know that you aren’t alone.
Q: How do I talk to my kids about this?
A: Since I am but a humble theater major, I collected a quick set of resources that I found to be helpful:
This post from @drbeckyathome (click and swipe):
Really helpful post from Ben Stuart if you are a Christian parent (good stuff in there for non-Christians, but just wanted to make sure you knew):
Great article from NPR on talking to kids of all ages.
Another great article with helpful tips.
Of course, feel free to share more in the comments. It’s okay if you are also scared and it’s okay if you don’t know exactly what to say. You are the best parent for your kid, and you know what they need. Answer their questions honestly, pay attention to how you are handling stress or anxiety, and let them talk if they want. You’re gonna do great. Remember: show up imperfectly.
Q: Can you share a list of the teachers you listen to?
A: Kathryn and Faitth on The Melanated Faith podcast, Ekemini Uwan, Christina Edmondson, and Michelle Higgins of the Truth’s Table podcast, Jemar Tisby, Derwin Gray, Michael Wear, Shannan Martin, Sarah and Beth of the Pantsuit Politics podcast, Osheta Moore, Scott the Painter, Dr. Lucretia Berry and her Brownicity community, Kate Bowler, Prophiphop and Dr. Alma Zaragoza-Petty, Sharon Says So, Ayanna Mathis, Rachael Kincaid, Charaia Callabrass, Sandra Van Opostal, Rich Villodas, Black Liturgies, Trillia Newbell, Beth Moore, Aundi Kolber, Kaitlyn Schiess, Mary Van Geffen, Prayers from Terry, Nedra Tawwab, Jamie Grace, Morgan Harper Nichols, Justin McRoberts, Esau McCaulley, Emily P. Freeman, Black Coffee with White Friends, The Conscious Kid, and Latasha Morrison.
Q: Where do I find Jesus in all of this?
A: Jesus is where He always is: with the overlooked, the marginalized, the outcasts, those suffering from injustices. This is where He makes his home. If we knock on these doors, we will find Him and He will answer. That is promised to us, and for that I am beyond grateful.
Okay. That was a lot of information and hopefully helpful in whatever capacity I can be helpful. I like you guys a lot. Thanks for asking good questions.
It’s time for treasures, yes. Because we can find treasures even in a week like this.
💖 First, Jillian emailed me yesterday because she, Erin, and Mel wanted to start a Lil Swipes Galentine’s Day/Friendship gift exchange for some early 2021 cheer. Is that not the best? I cannot deal with how great it is. They are opalescent tree sharks. Just sign up at this link by January 30th to participate. Jillian says that creative and free gifts are encouraged, and they’re hoping to exchange by Galentine’s Day (February 13th, as set forth by Parks and Rec and Leslie Knope).
🐓 This video about eggs that come with their own tiny egg newsletter is the enthusiasm I need right now. Where farm are these eggs from? I need updates on the chicken of the month ASAP!
🥘 This whole post from Morgan Harper Nichols.
💰 Look this is technically a tweet, but it’s so good and it got lost in the news but it’s honestly a masterpiece.
Y’all want some good tweets? I got ‘em.
I think that’s more than enough from me today. Check in. Say hi. Roll call of the mundane and the magical. Love you guys, mean it. You make me feel like a slightly tipsy Kermit, feeling himself as he dances.
Good morning! This is my first comment here, I’ve been a faithful reader and watcher for a while but never feel like I have anything to offer that’s the right amount of insightful with a twist of humor so I stay quiet. But not anymore!
I recently moved and started a new job and while I know that transitions are always hard, actually living in it has been awful. I know I need more community so I’m going to start showing up here :) so, hi new friends!
Erin, thank you for taking the time to answer some tough questions. I know that was emotionally tricky to answer and likely very draining. My enneagram 1 just keeps wanting to shout “stop breaking the rules!!!” But alas no one did.
While my week started out so hard and continues to be hard to walk through it has had the loveliest of bright spots.
The day Eric and I committed to sending Hank to school. A major decision that meant all the money we’d been saving for a new stove would now go to Hanks school. Please note: Our stove works fine it just doesn’t match. We also got the bill for Denver’s lawyer and the amount was so stunning that I saw stars and thought about driving to the nearest cliff. Y’all it’s at least $5,000 which feels like a million! It caused me to spiral in a thousand directions. From we have to pay it to protect Denver’s future to how will I be able get pants for Hank?! But y’all the best internet gang in all the land saved the day!! Some of the lil swipes sent Hank pants! It was such a big deal not just because he needed them but because I would’ve never ever asked for help. I’m the caretaker- the fixer and the helper. To be taken care of in such a tangible way is balm to my soul. Then I wake up to an email that announces that y’all sent a Target gift card- what is this miracle!! I’m so grateful!
All my love and gratitude.
🤎🤎🤎🤎