Nine Experiments in Restoring My Creativity

and a couple of things I want to implement

You know that part in The Neverending Story when Artax gets stuck in the mud and Atreyu is just incoherently screaming while his best friend slowly drowns in the worst way possible? If you don’t, I beg of you not to seek it out. This scene singlehandedly traumatized a generation.

Anyway.

I’m Atreyu, and Artax is my creativity.

TRAUMA!

The sadness of the swamps has, in fact, gotten to me. I never knew what the phrase “blood from a stone” meant until the past few months, because trying to write something feels like attempting to extract blood from a stone. I do care, Atreyu! I am trying! It’s just all very overwhelming! Just let me sink into this swamp, okay?

I know part of this is because I spent the past four years writing, editing, producing, and promoting a deeply personal book, and the vulnerability hangover is still happening. One of my friends texted me the other day out of the blue:

Everyone says this is completely normal, that one day I’ll snap back into it, so I guess we’ll see. I don’t know: is it the state of the world, perimenopause, or just me?

In the meantime, I’ve been attempting a pouring in, instead of a pouring out. I’m reading a ton, I’m cleaning things out (literally and figuratively), and I’m trying to pay attention to what brings me joy and clarity and what just further fuzzies my brain. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I could just be a completely different person who has it all together, that would fix all my problems. Probably not, but worth a try.

Maybe you’re feeling this way, maybe you’re not, but either way, I thought I’d share some of what’s been making me tick lately.

1. Work Wife

One of my favorite things to do as a teenager was to rot with a magazine. Slather on some tanning oil, (Sunscreen? Never heard of her.) pull the lawn lounger into the middle of the backyard, and flip through a Cosmo Teen (or Cosmo For Real if I could sneak it past my mom). I loved the layouts and the product recommendations. Yes, I do want to know the one trick that makes a boy go crazy over me, thank you. And yes please tell me how to get rid of these blackheads with a lemon and baking soda. I’ll also take a two-page spread on Most Embarrassing Prom Moments for $500. I don’t find most modern magazines to pack the same punch as a YM or Seventeen, but luckily, I found

Work Wife

.

Sabrina Molu

writes in-depth, but not overwhelming, aesthetically pleasing articles and investigations that feel just like the magazines of old. This week she wrote about Everything Showers, and look at the layout! I die.