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Hello friends! 👋
It's August, and I'm so excited about fall, mainly because I'm looking forward to not having sweat roll down my back the first millisecond I step outside. Oh, sweet Lord, it is so hot. Hopefully, you're reading this issue of The Swipe Up in a full-body refrigerator. That is my dream for you. May it be so.
I'll shoot you straight, August is not in the running for my favorite month of 2019 so far. It's a good thing I recently started going back to therapy because wow, August, you are being the worst. Do you get emotional sweaty palms when big terrible news comes across our chyrons like it did already in August? I do. I start to spiral because it feels like I can't do anything to change anything. So I stay in bed and Door Dash me some Chipotle and get rice in my bed and all around my body but I don't care because I'm despairing at the state of the world when really, there are lots of things I can do. The issue of immigration may be complicated, but we can make sure babies have diapers and families are together in clean and safe environments (RAICES and Preemptive Love and Together Rising are doing great work here, or they are pointing you to the local people who are on the ground). It will take forever to sort out the gun laws in this country, but I can make sure my elected officials know exactly what I think (over and over and over again if I have to) by contacting them (Resistbot and 5 Calls are GOLDEN tools). Sometimes self-care looks like a dang bubble bath and sometimes it looks like calling your senator.
Next month, the Swipe Up will turn 1 and I'm thinking of ways to celebrate. Should we all get bundtlets at Nothing Bundt Cakes and have a Google Chat? Should we do giveaways? Maybe release a project? I don't know: we're in the brainstorming phase. But there will be a celebration because this is my newsletter and I said so.
Back to this month's edition - it's the July issue and I guess I need to figure out a better way to delineate these volumes. It's August, but we're talking about July? This is ridiculous. Anyway, we're talking spiritual directors, the best celebrity profile I've ever read in my whole entire life, and Q & A's are back by popular demand from the eight of you who cared very deeply.
So let's make like Drake and go.
P.S. If you like The Swipe Up, will you share The Swipe Up? I giveaway a lil gift card to one lucky sharer every month. Just make sure you tag me or if you’re private, shoot me a screenshot of your share. Thank you! 🤘
P.P.S. As a reminder, affiliate links support The Swipe Up at no extra cost to you. It makes Ben Moon really happy when you purchase something via the affiliate links, so thank you! 👌
Bringing Back That Rapid Fire Q&A
I upset the balance of the universe last month when I denied you all your Q&A section, so this is me: benevolent overlord, bringing them back. BEHOLD: questions and answers.
What are your tips for spinning so many plates at once? Literally how do you do it? - @marybethwalk
Here's what's up: we all have plates and you can have as many plates as you want. Spin those bad boys. The key is in which plates are paper, which plates are Project 62 from Target, and which are fine china. Some of them will fall, but which will break if they do? And which can be pieced back together if they break? Do whatever you can to keep the fine china plates spinning, and if the paper or Project 62 plates need to fall, you can pick them back up later. Sometimes Project 62 plates fall in service to fine china plates. It's not ideal, but that fine china plate is priceless. Never let paper stay spinning at the expense of fine china. Or as my guy Thoreau says: "Never let the things that matter the most be at the mercy of the things that matter the least."
Are you doing an Advent devotional? - @carlampatton
No, I'm not but I will absolutely have a recommendation for you on that in the coming months. You'll love it.
When's your next devotional coming out? (Pleeeeeeeeease!) - @ajmilad
Good news! Before the end of 2019, and Swipers will be the first to know about it.
Tips for making internet friends and how to turn them into IRL friends. - @briannakayb
I have a good mix of friends I met IRL, and internet friends who transitioned to IRL friends, so here are my tried-and-true tips for turning those IRLs into RLs:
1. Bribery with treats.
End of list.
GOT from a Christian's POV - should we watch (No judgment just want your opinion)? - @lesliegpearson
I got you, Leslie.
Any behind-the-scenes info on The Last Beholder? - @katieb_rice
I've been ignoring this question for a while, mainly because it's tender and sensitive, not only professionally, but personally. As of earlier this year, I made the decision to step away from The Last Beholder project. This was hard, and the whys behind the choice are nuanced and complicated, even to me. The good news is that Megan remains the finest caretaker of the characters and story we created together, and whatever she chooses to do with them, I fully support her. I'm so grateful for everyone who loves this series, and it is still very special to me. There is no beef between Megan and I (we're watching Persuasion together soon), and I'm cheering her on as she decides how to best move forward.
If you hosted a talk show, who would be your first guest? - @erchla
Robert Duvall.
Are you still traumatized by the CATS trailer? - @heatherirene79
Catsolutely.
Where did you go to seminary? - @shanda_scherdin
BibleGateway.com (but really I love BibleGateway.com and their subscription is one of the best $4 I spend a month). Shanda, I did not go to seminary: I am, lo, just a layperson armed with plenty of commentaries, a Hebrew/Greek/English dictionary, and a love for this weird book called the Bible. I've been a Bible studies writer and editor for about 13 years, so I kind of have this weird, patched together Biblical education. If anything, let my lack of an M.Div. remind you that the Bible doesn't just belong to the scholars or those who can properly conjugate a Hebrew verb (although it IS helpful). The Bible belongs to the people and understanding it is within anyone's grasp.
Best Amarillo restaurants to hit up? Going in September for the Popcast Live! - @lexieleigh_92
Oh Lexie, we have such wonderful foodstuffs in the Panhandle. Amarillo has Tyler's Barbeque, which is one of the top 50 BBQs in Texas according to Texas Monthly, my favorite publication. Coyote Bluff has perfect burgers, but get there early or late to avoid the line (it's tiny). You must come to Canyon (it's 13 miles away, but it takes a second) and go to Barrel and Pie. All their pizzas are delicious, but I really love the grape and prosciutto. Canyon also has Fat Boys BBQ that has literally not changed one iota since I was in elementary school. The chopped beef sandwich is simple perfection, as is the sign behind the counter: "I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight." Oh and the Tex-Mex! Where does one even begin? And you cannot miss the Donut Stop. It is the finest donut that you will ever eat. It's not fancy or Instagrammable, but I charge you to find a better cherry frosted donut on this planet.
What's the next Stephen King book I should read (currently wrapping up The Long Walk)? - @itsno_hassel
Is it crazy to suggest you jump into The Gunslinger series? I love those books.
What's your advice for newlyweds? Things that have helped your marriage in the early days? - @laurenwhock
If I could travel back in time to 23-year-old Erin, I would tell her not to quit going to pre-marital counseling just because she was now post-marital. I know I talk about this one piece of advice literally all the time (it just works for almost everything), but I had a therapist who told me that for every major life change, an average human takes 18 months to adjust. That's someone who hasn't had trauma in their life, someone who is mentally and emotionally healthy. 18 months! At once that is awful and freeing. And you don't get to kill two life change birds with one 18 month stone. Give yourself a minute. And if your marriage accompanied a move or a job change, give yourself two minutes. Handing out grace and assuming best intent will take you far in those early days.
The Brass Tacks of Spiritual Direction,
or What the heck is this?
For about a year now, I've been scrolling websites, reading books, listening to podcasts, and trying to learn more about spiritual direction. A lot of people (some of you!) have very strong opinions about what is and what is not spiritual direction, so if I say something here that doesn't fully jibe with your understanding, that is a-ok.
So obviously, many of us receive spiritual direction from various types of people, but a spiritual director is an official title: someone who has been trained in some way or another to fulfill this role. Being a spiritual director is different from a discipleship relationship and it's different from a mentor/mentee relationship. This person is not a therapist, and not a counselor, though they may have a background in one of those fields. The practice of engaging a spiritual director is found often in more liturgical traditions (which is where I first heard about it), but you don't have to be Anglican or Catholic to embed yourself in this practice. I know there are other religions which practice something similar as well. And it's definitely not a new thing.
A spiritual director is a guide in your spiritual formation. The Order of Sustainable Faith states that they "help you notice and nurture the work of God." I love this from Rev. Douglas Hardy: "Spiritual direction is the facilitation of one’s spiritual formation through a covenanted relationship with another, formalized in regular meetings for inquiry, conversation, and reflection around one’s personal experience. The spiritual director is one who, by virtue of personal holiness and spiritual maturity, helps the spiritual directee to pay attention to the presence and work of God in her or his life." Thomas Merton (if you went through Lent with me, you are well acquainted with my fave Trappist monk) says, ""The whole purpose of spiritual direction is to penetrate beneath the surface of a person’s life, to get behind the façade of conventional gestures and attitudes which one presents to the world, and to bring out one’s inner spiritual freedom, one’s inmost truth, which is what we (Christians) call the likeness of Christ in one’s soul. This is an entirely supernatural thing, for the work of rescuing the inner person from automatism belongs first of all to the Holy Spirit." At the Transforming Center, they say, "The phrase "spiritual direction" is a misnomer in a way because it is not so much about being directive as it is about being open, receptive, aware of and responsive to the movement of the Spirit in the directee's life. It is understood that the Holy Spirit is the true director, Advocate, or Counselor given to lead us into truth as we are able to bear it (John 15, 16). The director is present to assist the directee in paying attention to the invitations of the Holy Spirit and to support the directee in making a faithful response."
I'm drawn to spiritual direction because I have a listening and discernment deficiency, especially when it comes to the Holy Spirit. I am pastored well at my local church (I am so grateful for this, because I am aware of the differences of a preacher and a pastor in the local church). I am in Biblical community with my small group, and with other friends. I'm into the spiritual disciplines. I'm doing all the things! But I want to unlock the next level. I want to learn how to listen. I want to be attuned. I've said this before, but I'm not an introspective person. I want to be. I want to be able to pay attention to the ways God is working, so I can be a part. I want to learn how to hear. I feel a pull to do it: to give attention to my soul in the places where God is speaking to me. Why would I ignore this?
What really set me off about this was my time in London (I will at some point stop talking about this) with Emily Freeman. Emily asks the perfect questions, getting to the heart of a matter. I knew how transformative her questions about work and my heart were, and it clicked that a spiritual director would be able to do that as well, in everyday life.
Here's what I've discovered as I've researched this:
1. You cannot rush this process. I cannot tell you how many times I've hovered over an email or a phone number. I know that many folks go through a few people before they find their person. Pray. Be thoughtful. Slow it down and trust the process that the Spirit is walking you through.
2. Don't feel like this is something you have to do. There's nothing in scripture that says you're a better Christian or have a holier faith if you have a spiritual director.
3. Decide what you're looking for. Remote or in person? Do you feel more comfortable with a certain gender? Do you want your director to come from a certain faith background? These directors can specialize in many different areas (clergy, persons of color, trauma, etc), and they have been trained and are equipped to guide you.
Honestly, this is terrifying to me. To be so vulnerable in front of someone, to answer questions instead of asking, to push past what I am comfortable with into the mysterious: it all makes me nervous. But I know I have a desire to keep pushing, and spiritual direction seems like the next best step towards that desire. I'm getting ready to hit the commit button, and we'll see how this all pans out.
There are a lot of resources (thank you Lord, for the internet and how it connects us) out there. Here are some that I've gathered, but this is by no means an exhaustive list.
Here's a good overview from ChristianityToday.com
The Transforming Center
Sustainable Faith
Spiritual Direction International
Renovare
Ignatian Spirituality
I am really liking the Renovare podcast as well.
The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast - Getting a Spiritual Director
Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster
Holy Listening by Margaret Guenther
Spiritual Formation: Following the Movements of the Spiritby Henri JM Nouwen
Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith by Henri JM Nouwen
Spiritual Direction and Meditation by Thomas Merton
The Practice of Spiritual Direction by William Barry and William Connolly
Sarah Bessey's Instagram post about her recent time with a spiritual director (I noticed a few spiritual directors commented directly on this post, and they might be good resources as well).
I'd love to know your thoughts about this branch of spiritual formation!
What I Love This Month
The Best Kickstarter Campaign: Y'all know I ride for BT Harman, and his newest project is so close to being fully funded on Kickstarter. Support storytellers and throw him a couple of bucks!
Most Helpful Podcast: It's a tough listen, but The Daily's Two Cities in Mourning is incredible.
Favorite Piece of Happy News: Danny Trejo rescued a baby trapped in a car.
Favorite Advice: I know I talk about The Cut's Ask Polly a lot, but this most recent letter she answered is so absolutely bonkers, I simply must direct your attention to it. As a note, there is some language.
Favorite Make-up Thing: My friend Morgan directed my attention to this IT Cosmetics Bye Bye Pores Pressed™ Poreless Finish Airbrush Pressed Powder (that's its real name what even?) applied with these crazy-dense giant toothbrush makeup brushes (you use this one for the powder and this one for foundation) and wow I'm basically a newborn baby now.
Favorite Skincare Thing: Some Call Me Crunchy's Cleansing Oil I guess has some kind of witchcraft in it because I'm pretty sure it's making my lashes grow longer as well as being the best cleansing oil I've ever used? I don't know how she does it, but my skin has never been clearer. Also loving her Soothe Serum.
Delightful Video: The internet is so specifically weird, and this deep fake of Ron Swanson on every Full House character is the best representation of that I can possibly imagine.
Incredible Profile on Top-Secret Female Investigator: Please give me an incredible nickname like The Savant (this article comes with a content warning for sexual assault and violence).
Clothing Line That Makes Me Wish I Was A Millionaire and Also Five Years Old: Boden's Harry Potter Line -- please check these Hedwig overalllllllllllls
Favorite Binge Watch: I started Derry Girls on Netflix one night and watched both seasons in one fell swoop. It's wonderful (another language flag), but about as accurate a portrayal of those self-centered teenage years as one could find.
Single TV Episode If You Need Endorphins/Bawl Your Eyes Out: On Golden Kenny - Queer Eye Season 4
Book I Haven't Read Yet But the Author Is So Precious, You Need To Know: Kristin Strong, who is possibly one of the kindest people I've ever met, released her book, Back Roads to Belonging, this week. I've not been able to dive in yet, but if this book is anything like the welcoming soul of its author, you won't regret curling up with it.
Links for the Month
Restaurant for When You're Traveling Through Arkansas: David's Burgers
Podcast: The Bible Binge
Modern Blessing: Shipt
Cookie: The Breakup Cookie at Church Street Coffee
Celebrity Meeting: Meghan and Beyonce
Restaurant for When You Need Donuts at Lunch: Hero Doughnuts
Bookseller: The Bookshelf in Thomasville, GA
Skincare: Some Call Me Crunchy
Art: Winsome Paper
Trailer for When You Never Want to Sleep Again: CATS
Trailer for When You Need A Good Cry: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Stay: Hotel Clermont - Atlanta
Eat: Ponce City Market - Atlanta
Eat: Dr. Bombay's Tea Room - Atlanta
Visit: Georgia Aquarium
For Pre-Teen Graphic Novel Reading: Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy
Patreon Community: The Bible Binge
Read: Persuasion by Jane Austen
Read: Jane Austen at Home by Lucy Worsley
Watch: Emma
Read: Burnout
Read: Lonesome Dove
Read: Freddy and Fredericka
Read: Walking on Water
Read: Life of the Beloved
Read: Frankenstein
Read: The Prisoner of Azkaban
Podcast: Without Fail: The Cost of Having a Conscience in the Senate
Weird 2020 Presidential Candidate: Vermin Supreme
Read: Prayer: 40 Days of Practice
For When You Need to Contact Your Representatives: Resistbot
Read: Every Moment Holy
For When You Need a Touching and Emotional Essay: The Crane Wife
For When You Need to Hear About People with Passion: Elizabeth Warren's Classroom Strategy
For When You Need More Baby Shark in Your Life: The Baby Shark Sound Book
Mood Booster: First Day of School Playlist
Unreal Celebrity Profile: Nicolas Cage in the NYT
For When You Need Some Extra Prayers: A Liturgy for the First Day of School
For When Love is Dead: Scott Moir is Engaged to Not Tessa Virtue