494 Comments

I just opened this email b/c... 2020. Hope this was a better week for you. And that is why we are here, to share our treasures when you have a turd week. And you will do the same for us. Amen, and amen.

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Just touching base with swipers --> Anyone else here doing the September Gospel Reading suggested by Annie F. Downs? (Raises hand)

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I am!

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Definitely a turd filled week. Mostly that Iā€™ve been going through a very painful break up and this week, salt was rubbed in the wound. Iā€™m gripping to the thought that God loves me and I will be ok eventually but right now it hurts so much.

Win: Zoloft is helping and Iā€™m going on a solo trip to the woods next week.

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That is a deep cut, Jessica. Sorry to hear your heart is hurting, and hopeful it begins to mend sooner rather than later. It is for such a time as this Jamie B. Golden has given us the phrase douche canoe. Use it in good stead, as often as needed.

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Oh Danielle, how right you are! That Jamie sure does know to use a turn of phrase. ā™„ļøā™„ļø

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Oh Erin did you hit my heart with the sackcloth and ashes. This week has been hard. My brother has major back issues because of a genetic issue we both share and his is made worse due to his job and he is in so much pain. I also did not get good news at my rheumy appt this week.

Also just the heartbreaking news of the everyday world has been heavy.

Iā€™m also switching meds for my anxiety and whew what a not so good time to do that with this week.

I had a not so nice FB incident with a family member. I donā€™t often share my opinion on things because I tend to believe differently from most family and some friends (which is why I love Instagram and Twitter. I can curate my feeds better!) so Iā€™m very careful but I hit a boiling point. It was terrible.

There are so many other turds but Iā€™ll stop.

Treasures... I have been watching season 4 on One Day at a Time and itā€™s still so hilarious. I highly recommend the first 3 seasons on Netflix.

I discovered KTā€™s canvases on tiktok and now instagram and ordered cute goodies of stickers and a notebook because I am nothing if not 12 at times.

Iā€™m making chocolate chip scones for my partner today. He has never had them and we saw an episode of chopped and that was a dessert and I thought he would lose it with how good he thought they looked. šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

Thanks for being your lovely selves Lil Swipes. You start my weekends off so beautifully. šŸ’œ

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Oh, Christy, no that's too many turds for one person! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this. šŸ’•

I've been meaning to watch One Day at a Time, thanks for reminding me. It might be just what I need right now.

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Hang in there Christy!

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Got here late but I got here! And can I just say, 400+ comments is a bit intimidating but it's 4am and I've got nothing but time. My treasure: I've been listening to Harry Potter on audible since June as a way to counterbalance all of the turds-- I finished the last book today (well yesterday now). The first time I read the books I was in high school and it truly was a delight to relive.

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How fun! My partner and I have been doing this for a few years when we ride together or take trips. Itā€™s so good!

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Hi Swipes!

Turdy thoughts:

**I'm not a momma or in the school system at all, but I'm loving all y'all from afar. Truly. It's a dumpster fire everywhere you look. No need to preach anything else. You are loved and valuable and doing the best you can!

**If I could have all the racist people I'm related to just NOT on facebook, that would be great. Like I hit a rage point yesterday/today and actually started responding to some things. Not healthy, not wise, not respectful. Not a cute look for me. (shrug)

**My grandma who is in a nursing home tested positive for COVID. Silver lining: Right now she's asymptomatic and the most recent visits my grandpa (who has a lung condition which he's in/on hospice for) were correctly physically distanced and with masks.

**My BFFs mom was diagnosed with late-onset bipolar disorder. My BFF is only 9 months postpartum and an anxious person anyways. Like what do I even do with this? It's just crappy.

**I still haven't heard back about the job I applied for, so now I've got all sorts of doubts floating around in my head.

Treasured Thoughts:

**Same BFF came over to hang out today. We ordered way too much Outback Steakhouse and just sat around with each other while we ate and she pumped. It. was. glorious.

**A BFF from High School-era (a dozen years ago) stopped by to visit for about an hour on Sunday. I love him even though we are opposites and I am just so dang proud of all of the things he is doing in his life after overcoming quite a few things. Like all the feels and love here.

**I spent 2 hours on the phone with my own momma earlier in the week - talking about all the things and nothing. My BFF was able to chat with her since my mom is also the daughter of someone diagnosed with bipolar. (Thank God for little graces there.)

**I've been actually FINISHING watching tv series. This week: Home Game, Unorthodox, Skin Wars Fresh Paint.

**I finished a book... I'm still behind on my goodreads challenge (which it keeps reminding me of - rude): Darwin Affair.

**I met with a few of my church ministry groups virtually - and we're getting ready to jump into some things in the next few weeks. I'm excited for the possibilities!

**My sister is due on Sept. 11, but he can come anytime. #auntielife

**I hosted a ColorStreet party and got like $50 worth of free products, which I'm super excited about.

Love all you lovelies!! Be well. :)

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Wow, what lovely treasures! (Being an aunt is the best!) :)

Holding space for you and your turds today, that is a lot to deal with.

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Massive turd: continued state violence against Black people.

Turd yet less of a turd than last week: We finished our first full week of school. Much of my time has been spent working out kinks with our students who have gone remote, and it's been a steep learning curve. It's been tough but the other teachers are so supportive of me and my principal has thanked me a couple of times. It feels lovely to feel valued.

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Iā€™ve read the newsletter and Iā€™ve read all your replies and now I realize Iā€™ve crawled deep into my Fiveness by numbing the 4-wing. I feel nothing. I donā€™t even *try* to feel unless itā€™s frustration, exasperation, or anger at COVID deniers and the Trump cult. [Disclaimer: I realize not all Trump supporters are part of the cult, though Iā€™d still like someone to show me the receipts on how heā€™s done good for America.]

Iā€™m just not feeling anything, and now I see that. I thought I was ā€œhandling it wellā€ because Iā€™m an introvert who likes being able to stay home, sleep strange hours, read all day, and have zero responsibilities. But now I see that Iā€™m holding it in and avoiding the emotions. An acupuncturist once told me I hold my tension in the liver, so Iā€™m thinking Iā€™m gonna be in a deep mess one day.

Yā€™all, I donā€™t even have energy or desire to hack this season. And until reading everyoneā€™s comments, I didnā€™t know that was a problem! This does not bode well. šŸ˜¬

I did have one productive thought just now: I havenā€™t used Twitter for many years because it overwhelmed, but Nikol, your shares of Annie Dillard quotes reminded me of its goodness. So I need to purge my follows and start over. I need goodness and blessing and joy. Instagram is my main hang, but Iā€™m willing to branch out to small bursts of Twitter. Who do yā€™all suggest following now?

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Gosh, I can't seem to think of a single Twitter account right now but I'll let you know if a good one springs to mind!

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Jules, what a blessing to have this realization. I can relate in some ways. Iā€™m a 9wing8 and have been constantly swinging between the feeling nothing and then being super angry at everything. I even learned that some physical symptoms Iā€™ve been having were directly related to storing tension and stress in my muscles. Our bodies seem to figure things out before our brains do. I hope that you can find some sources of joy and goodness on Twitter that connect with you and lift your spirits (unfortunately, I have no recommendations as a non-Twitter user). Be patient and show grace with yourself as you start feeling the emotions and know that youā€™re not alone in these feelings ā˜ŗļø

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Hereā€™s whatā€™s weird (stupid? normal?)... Iā€™m a journaler. But when I think about writing these ā€œfeelingsā€ my mind is blank. Iā€™m guessing I just donā€™t want to think about it or dive deep.

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Yes!! I totally get that! My journal entries have been mostly matter-of-fact lists of my daily activities with very little depth

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It feels great to be in such good company on the 2020 struggle bus!

This week was FINE but still bleh. Nothing monumental, just another week in this ā€unexplained secondary infertilityā€ journey. We are doing our first IUI next week and that's just a lot of feelings and hormones! Weā€™ve been trying for awhile but only using medical intervention for the last 8 months or so. I'm ready for a break should this IUI not prove successful. It's just a lot! Today at my appointment, I made a lot of sarcastic jokes and my male doctor just wasn't sure if I meant to laugh or cry. Me neither, buddy, me neither. šŸ˜‚

Treasures:

-TikTok. By golly, whenever I want to scroll mindlessly on FB, I instead head to TT and it's a DELIGHT. I discovered the cops of TT last night and I just can't. Such good stuff. I was favoriting some to share with you lovely ladies but I may as well be elderly because I realized I wasn't doing it right this whole time. Here's hoping I see them again so I can add them to my favorites soon. šŸ˜‚

-The Great British Baking Show. I thought I was a baker. I am not, apparently. I can't do half of the things they do. Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood intimidate me. But it's such a good palate cleanser for a crazy day!

-I joined a local book club to discuss the Lazy Genius! We met this week for Chuys Mexican food and ended up not discussing the book at all but it was exactly what I needed! My first meal in a restaurant since March (on the patio, but still). So weird, but so needed.

-Matthew West, ā€Truth be Told.ā€ it may not be new new but it was new to me on the way to my appointment and MAN. Describes perfectly how this enneagram 2 is processing all the things happening/not happening in my life. I'm fine/not fine and that's okay! But who really wants to hear the hard stuff? I hate being a downer so here I sit wallowing in my own stuff on my own time. Listened to the song four times today. So good.

UPDATE: clicking the heart DOES SAVE THEM! Enjoy. I have awkward/eclectic tastes.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJB86cqx/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJB8eTek/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJBR34YS/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJB8LW5D/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJB8JDoW/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJB8bprv/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJB8pbES/

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I am cry laughing after watching these TikToks. Seriously haven't had such a good laugh in what feels like months!!!

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I feel so proud! Thank you for appreciating my sense of humor. Haha. My husband doesn't think they are as funny as I do. I have another for you that made me cry. Let me find the link. :)

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Oh no, girl, they're hilarious!

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https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJBXX8m5/

The comments on this video are NOT. TO. BE. MISSED.

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Ashley! I have tears in my eyes and I'm struggling to breathe because some of these TikToks have me laughing so hard!

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MY WORK HERE IS DONE. šŸ˜‚šŸ’ŖšŸ»

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The Great British Baking Show is truly a treasure. I have watched all of the seasons multiple times. It's just soothing, like a blanky.

Prayers for you on your fertility journey.

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Such a balm to the soul! Just finished Collection 1. I feel like Richard was robbed. šŸ˜‚

Thank you for the prayers! ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø

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First time actually posting a small, short thread. Long story short? August usually SUCKS for me. It hasn't been that bad this year, besides one day at the beginning of the month and yesterday. Today is looking up. For all these goodies (especially the panda video - OMG, I would have just laid down and played with them). Other things making me not put on my sackcloth's and throw myself into despair:

Yoga - I've been doing short morning and evening routines. And it's been very refreshing/calming. I saw one the other day for when you're angry. May give it a go.

Needtobreathe's NEW ALBUM - NTB for short, LOML for everyday. This is their SEVENTH studio album (and despite Bo not being in the mix any longer) and maybe one of their best. It's for healing and wonder they say - and that it is doing. I sat on my couch and cried listening to it. I needed this album AND the concert experience they are doing tonight for the release. Best $10 I spent all week and I'm counting it as my 8th time of seeing them live seeing as COVID has taken live events away from us.

Little Voice - a show on Apple+ TV. Did anyone watch it?? From Sara Bareilles and has original music in it. This season was only ten short episodes, and it ended last Friday. So, I may binge it all again today, because it was. so. good.

#BB22 - any Big Brother fans out there? It's my summer reality go-to show and this year is All-Stars. I'm not sure where I stand so far. But I usually don't get super invested until we are down to like half of the contestants.

Erin's pledge - to not, what was it? "Romp on other's ding dongs?" As we approach fall and "basicness". Here for it. Here for all fall things, because it's my fav. Though, not a fan of PSL (BUT YOU WILL NOT CATCH ME ROMPING ON OTHERS - I will do better this year).

Coffee/Honey Scrub - speaking of coffee. I used some of my grounds the other day to create a coffee/honey scrub for my face. Kind of loving it. But I'm kind of wondering - am I killing my face? Only plan to use twice a week, but I feel like I've been seeing mixed ideas...if you say I'm ruining my face, I'll research more and then decided for myself on quitting or not (Enneagram 5 here). But, I wouldn't think you to be romping. So inform me if needed!

Crying - I kind of alluded to it earlier when talking about NTB, but sometimes it's just good to do.

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Thanks for reminding me of the new NTB album! I loved their last two and I could use a good cry, so it sounds perfect.

Little Voice was really good. I loved the last scene with the brother and his roommates!

My skin never feels softer than when I do a coffee scrub in the shower but I haven't tried it on my face... Let me know what you find out through your research!

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I too love me some NTB. I didnā€™t know about Bo. That makes me sad! Sigh. Things always changing! I adore a good yoga routine and long, long ago found videos on iTunes for an am and pm routine. They rock!

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I really think that the reason people, especially this year are ready for pumpkin things is we are all so desperate to move through this year. Time is moving so slowly!

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I LOVE BB (but am a little behind already), down to talk houseguests any time. and planning to binge Little Voice next week :)

Not to be a pumpkin-vangelist, but have you tried the pumpkin cold foam on cold brew? The PSL is too sweet for me as its own thing, but i like the touch of pumpkin tastiness in the foam

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Two of my co-workers watch BB and we have a Marco Polo entitled "BB Rants and Such" haha I feel like my favorites always change throughout the season, but I was really excited to watch some older players this season, though it feels they are getting picked at pretty much off the bat.

Little Voice is sooo good! I really enjoyed it. Hope you do!

And Pumpkin Cold Foam...I have not. I once was a barista before and even then never had anything full pumpkin, it's always just been too much. *Maybe* I'll try something pumpkin this year.

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Oh my word the Universe came through. My kids have their school schedule. They have distance learning M-W and in person Th & Fri. Now to plan something to discuss with my boss about how I will need some flexibility to be home to help manage their distance learning as my husband will start having commitments that will take him away from home (he is a special education funding auditor, he goes to schools to be sure they spend their special education grants and funds ON special education needs). Now that schools are opening -- the further north you go in MN, the more 'back to before' they are. While he won't be going back to his office on the daily, he may have tentative travel plans to the upper part of our state (MN is big, not Texas or Calif big, but big) that will have him away from home for a few days at a time to visit a few schools in one shot. Sooooooo if we can work out a week a month where he will do that, I will need that week a month for more flexibility. Seeing as all other admins at my company for the most part have been home since March (and won't be back in the office until October! MAYBE!) -- I am hoping a little grace and understanding will be thrown my way so I can WFH.

Stay tuned.

Also, made a personal decision to take a month (maybe more) off Twitter.

I'm not on Instagram

I'm not on TikTok

I tried my best to curate my feeds....but its still not feeding me in a way that's good for me.

So a break is needed to decide if really NEED it.

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Glad you finally got a schedule. Hope it works out with work!

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Hooray for answers! Hoping you find grace and flexibility and understanding from work.

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Wow yā€™all. We are in it, arenā€™t we!?

My turds seem like nothing compared to what some of you are going though.

The AC went out in my car yesterday which sucks because Iā€™m in Texas. I woke up this morning to a massive overdraft in my bank account because my direct deposit paycheck wasnā€™t deposited correctly this week so all my bill pays I have scheduled for payday still came out. So that was fun to deal with this morning.

However, I got in touch with my first principal from my teaching days yesterday. I found out he and his wife retired here in Texas so Iā€™m making plans to see them after I get AC in my car! šŸ˜‚

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A wise friend once told me "Everyone's hell is real to them." I.e. your turds get to be full fledged turds, sans comparison to anyone else's.

I'm late to the thread, and hoping your a/c is fixed now!

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The thing about turds is that they all stink! šŸ˜‚

No AC in TX is a no go from me (Howdy neighbor! Arkansas gal here!)

Overdrafts. Woof. Hopefully you get that worked out. HATE that feeling, especially when it isn't your fault!

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I've only been to Texas once, and that was in February so it wasn't that hot, but I can imagine driving without an AC is no fun! Hope it gets sorted out soon and that you were able to fix all the bank stuff.

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This week has been hard. New medicine for health issues, starting back to school (Iā€™m pretty sure that Iā€™m the only Lil Swipe in high school? Itā€™s fine.), my dadā€™s church is imploding (thereā€™s a WHOLE story as to why I attend a different church than my parents, but thatā€™s for another day), and just generally living through 2020. I only have podcast treasures this week, but here they are:

If you arenā€™t listening to A&E Keep Talking, what are you even doing with your life? Theyā€™re hilarious. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/annie-and-eddie-keep-talking/id1510645180

I love listening to Sophie and Mel talk about literally anything. They could read a magazine to each other and Iā€™d listen. Oh wait... I did. (Episode 1) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-big-boo-cast/id262921699

Brant and Sherri are weird. Very, very weird. But theyā€™re precisely my brand of humor. For some, theyā€™re an acquired taste. Try at your own risk: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/brant-sherri-oddcast/id903615429

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Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! Welcome, high school Swiper!

I hope your second week of school is easier than your first, for sure.

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I love Annie and Eddie!

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Annie and Eddie are the best!

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šŸšØEMERGENCY TIKTOK DROPšŸšØ this cannot wait till next week - the Phantom of the WAPera is there, inside your mind - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJB1G1DB/

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BAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

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Oh. My. LANTA.

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THE TURDS. They will not stop coming. 2 fave coping mechanisms discovered this week:

1) Run like Phoebe in Friends. Iā€™ve been FEELING so much that regular walks are not cutting it anymore. So one particularly craptastic day I *tried* to run and quickly became irate at how much I hated it, so I screamed and started flail running down our long gravel driveway. Then I did it back to the house, then back out again. To be fair, we live basically in the woods and there are only a couple other houses on the street, and they know me. But screaming and flail running for even a few minutes has been super therapeutic.

2) I havenā€™t done this yet but Iā€™m so happy I found out about it. Thereā€™s a place in town where you can pay to go into their rooms and just break stuff. You get protective gear and tools of destruction, and you can either bring your own stuff to break or pay to use some of theirs. You work out the rage, they clean it up. THIS IS SO BRILLIANT AND I CANT BELIEVE NO ONE HAS DONE THIS BEFORE, and I am so comforted to know it exists.

Hugs, friends. Itā€™s all so hard. Iā€™m wearing my sackcloth next to you and flail running/giving you a hammer to break some old dishes/windows in solidarity.

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Flail running sounds like an excellent plan these days!

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I really want to begin a place like this in my city. I don't think it exists - but it's literally perfect. We do have a couple of ax-throwing spots in town - and my counseling group (there are three of us) are planning a trip together. Can't wait to hear that sound of an ax against wood...much like the things breaking...it's genius.

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Iā€™m going to run like that tomorrow, it sounds cathartic.

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I do that as one part of my run, mainly because its a wooded path not seen from a main road and there have been all sorts of animals spotted there....from opossums to BEARS. SO I run manic-panic style through that portion lol

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My high school used to do a fundraiser that involved getting to smash a car. Totally forgot about that until now. That's a school fundraiser I could get behind about now.

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WE HAD THAT ONE YEAR TOO!! Omg. Memories!

I need to have an Office Space moment with a printer. Like let me have this time!

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I worked at a summer camp, and my last two years were spent as the lead counselor. My partner and I had a, weā€™ll just call it ROUGH team that summer, and by mid-summer were so stressed from it all. As we got closer to the end of the season, we wanted to have some team time and decided we could all use a good stress release, so we started looking for things in our junk pile to break. It started small - some old chairs, a tv, a toilet, glass, etc. Then our director caught wind of what we were planning and asked me if we would like to smash HIS CAR that was old and dead and sitting in his driveway. Uh, yes please. So we Got it towed up to the shooting range at the top of camp without our team knowing, set up an obstacle course for our team to smash a bunch of little things, and then it eventually led to the car. Our team was delighted. But I donā€™t think anyone was as please to destroy that thing as my partner and I, because that summer had done a number on us. My camp name was Mowgli, so we called the whole thing MAMA - Mowgliā€™s Anger Management Activities. I took the first swing by climbing on top of the car and breaking the sunroof. Nothing was or ever has been more satisfying.

Photo evidence: https://www.instagram.com/p/6drv_yhQhm/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

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I try and bring this up every time fundraisers are brought up. I usually get weird looks, but nothing sounds more fun to me than hitting the s**t outta a car.

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Gah that is the BEST!!

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I need this breaking room in a BIG WAY.

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Erin! I just gave it a goog and there's one in Huntsville - is that far for y'all?! Sounds like PMG Road Trip time.

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Aug 28, 2020Liked by Erin H Moon

I'm a 1st grade teacher and that panda video is basically a LITERAL representation of what the first month of school feels like šŸ˜‚. We are starting off virtual, so who knows what kind of panda-shenanigans we will encounter this year (and while this comment may be laughing, there's also screaming on the inside because I return to work on Monday to get ready for the year, and I still have zero information on expectations or how things will go. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine.)

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Thank you!!!

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Good luck this year!

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Good luck this year!

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GOOD LUCK to you this year!! We are cheering you on and appreciate the bejeezus out of you!

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CO-SIGN.

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