Happy Friday, party people! It is officially December and we are a mere 22 days away from Christmas Day! I am not ready. I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday weekends, and were filled with great joy and even greater pies. Iāve been playing host to the Popcast staff this week during our retreat, and am carrying on like a tired, limp noodle today, so this newsletter will be brief.
Christmas tradition - my husband started this on year one of our marriageā¦we buy all the fun candy cane flavors and add them to our Christmas tree decor. Fast forward 15 years, my boys love it. It is fun to see all the cool flavors they have now like Nerds, Airheads, etc. It is not fun to have them until March. Itās like Halloween candy round two! šš
Thanks for sharing the article about Anthony Broadwater!! Crazy but redeeming story! I listened to his taped video here and gave a donation. I hope they make a film and book about his story. He is a believer as you will hear. To get to the video you have to scroll down to older posts by the originator.https://gofund.me/08c651d5
Hello, my internet friends! Some of my favorite traditions growing up happened on Christmas Eve. We always, always went to late church (midnight mass but it started at 11pm) then home to unwrap our presents to each other (my parents, me and my brother), have a glass of egg nog (wine as we got older LOL), my brother and I would take turns reading Luke 2 each year, then off to bed because Santa was coming.
Fast forward to now. We go to the 3pm family service, dinner with our chosen family (plus my parents and occasionally my brother and his wife as they live in DC) then home to bed. My kids are never happy to go to bed unless itās Christmas Eve.
I began a tradition in 2009 weeks before I gave birth to my oldest (Dec. 28) and bought him an ornament. Each year, Iād buy him a new ornament that signified something he was into that year or a significant event that happened for him. When little brother was born, I did the same thing. So last year, they both got basset hound ornaments because we got a pandemic basset hound puppy. One day, when theyāre all grown and leave me, Iāll pack up their ornaments so they can put them on their tree. Much like my mom did years ago when she gifted me felt ornaments she bought way before I was born but have always loved putting on the tree growing up.
We have never been very concerned about traditions, which is frankly just fine, less pressure that way. However, we are very serious about stockings. There are people in this world who believe that anything that can fit in a stocking is a stocking stuffer and these people are wrong. That jewelry goes with the Tree Presents, you heathen. Stockings are for silly things and useful junk. My great-aunt, who died before I was really old enough to get to know her, put Hot Wheels in everyone's stockings every year. They still make an appearance from time to time. Random extra person coming for Christmas we didn't know about? It may take the form of a paper sack with their name Sharpied on it, but they will get a stocking so help us God.
Sarah Marshall said somewhere that any movie that makes you happy at Christmastime is a Christmas movie, so there's a little bit of freedom to take into your season. Last year Ghostbusters was on TV on Christmas Eve and it made me happy - who knows what this year's Christmas movie will be?
People with jobs with lots of standing - how do you do this without your body hurting all the time? I'm used to being on my feet a lot, but being static in one place is different and I'm having a hard time. I had my first surgery shift at a new non-profit today, and it went well but if I'm going to be increasing my surgery load compared to my last job, I've got to figure out a way to do it without a giant knot forming in the middle of my back halfway through the workday. Help! (I have ordered new shoes, I have previously found yoga helpful for the aftermath more than for prevention, and also don't have anywhere to do it currently.)
I've really liked reading about all of your traditions! Ours are pretty simple - the tree always goes up the Friday after Thanksgiving, and each member of the family has a section of the tree that their special ornaments. I realized this year that my son (who's 28) might not be here next year to decorate...bittersweet to be sure. Treasure the moments young mamas - they go by so stinkin fast. The treasure of tradition is a Christmas Tea and ornament exchange that I've been hosting for about 20 years now with the same group of precious women that I've known since our kids were in preschool together. We hang out, catch up play silly Christmas trivia games, laugh, pray for each other and just generally have the best time! It's going to be a smaller group this year as one of us is recovering from surgery and another has been exposed to C.... and is being very protective of me (I'm immunosuppressed due to a heart transplant), so we will include them on Zoom and still laugh about it! The other tradition, which I'm about to start now, is making peanut brittle. It's my grandmother's recipe and I taught the kid how to make it last year, but it must be made every year - you don't monkey with tradition!
I've loved reading about your Christmas traditions! Instead of being specific to my family, I thought I could tell you a little about Christmas in Sweden if you want?
š„£ Here, the main day of celebration is Christmas Eve. We eat "Julbord" which is a Christmas smorgasbord with stuff like ham, tiny sausages, meatballs, brawn, smoked salmon, pickled herring, brussels sprouts, special Christmas breads and cheeses, and of course rice porridge topped with cinnamon and sugar š¤·āāļø
šŗ At three in the afternoon over half of the country's population watch Disney's From All of Us to All of You on TV. It's been broadcast every year since 1959 and a few years ago when the network announced they were going to stop people were outraged and the network had to cave and it's still on.
š Most families open presents in the evening. Sometimes Santa shows up and hands out the presents himself in your living room. No chimneys or stockings here, Santa knocks on the door and wishes you a Merry Christmas. It's a tiny country, he has time.
š "Tjugondedag jul" or "Tjugondedag Knut", also known as Saint Knut's Day, 20 days after Christmas Eve is traditionally the day when Christmas is over, the tree is thrown out, the decorations taken down and the left over cookies and candy is eaten. People used to get together for "Christmas tree plundering" parties but I'm not sure that's a thing anymore.
So, those are a few of the weird things we do, and eat, during the holidays. I'm sure there are more! Merry Christmas everyone! š
Our Christmas looks pretty standard: driving to my parent's house with my sisters (three of us in our twenties), staying for less and less time each year as our jobs and lives in other states call, almost as soon as presents are unwrapped, or so it feels, I guess. Except for one tradition we invented in the last few years.
My dad has always been the cook in our family. He gave us a love of that onions-and-garlic-cooking-in-oil-smell, loves farmer's markets and cooking fish we caught together, and asks my sisters and I to help chop things, or oversee a salad production, as a means of quality time.
Around the time we were coming home from college for Christmas break, my dad created a Christmas Eve hors d'oeuvres competition that I look forward to every year. After the Christmas Eve service, we banish my parents to another part of the house (blind judging only) and play Christina and every other Christmas classic, with champagne and cheese and crackers, and create different appetizers for my parents to score and proclaim an annual winner. Some years it's as elaborate as each having the same amount of money to find our ingredients and race to get them (while hiding our plans from each other). Other years, we facetime family members in to score the presentation portion of the event. My mom usually gives lots of high scores to the dish that she thinks people won't like, to balance the score. (Do pity votes count?) As signif others have come (and gone) they get to choose to be a guest judge or a cooking partner. (And that is an excellent judge of character.) I don't think of my sisters and I as very competitive people, either, but something about fighting over the last bag of Jerusalem artichokes or the final hunk of apricot stilton, makes one feel the mostly friendly fire.
It's a tradition that embodies our love of surprises, cooking as a love language, and every year includes a wild dash of last minute bacon-making and cheese + exotic fruit improvisation. When people ask about Christmas traditions, it always makes my heart swell to describe this one. It feels like I get to tell people about my family and our specific love in these details. Nothing says Jesus is born! like guest judges and Christina Christmas music and a score chart that I think my dad keeps in a file in his office, to brush off once a year with the lights and the stockings.
Erin Hicks Moon (!), I needed this reminder about family traditions!!!
š¢ emotional roller coaster aheadā
Yāall know Iāve struggled with my sisters in our adult years and itās particularly DRAMATIC around shared holidays, but while growing up our family had true joy at Christmas. (I seriously miss it.) Some of those traditions have continued with their kids, and my mom insists on the food traditions, but itās really tough trying to recapture that childhood joy. Gratefully, Iāve learned to live a singular life and do very well at making my own damn self happy. š
My favorite traditions are:
šŗ watching āA Charlie Brown Christmasā, āThe Year Without a Santa Clausā (the Miser brothers are the best/worst) and āItās a Wonderful Lifeā (always always always on the Christmas Eve *broadcast*. If I donāt see all three during December, it just wasnāt a good season. I also *avoid* certain shows because they annoy me and take away all joy Iām fighting for (looking at you, Frosty and Rudolph!)
š decorating the tree with sentimental ornaments ā when I was a teen, my mom decided our tree would only contain ornaments that had meaning; no generic balls that fell off and got broken every year. And when my sisters and I moved from home, she gave us each the ornaments specific to ourselves. So now my tree features only decorations that hold memories, like a ceramic angel with my name and date etched on the back (1976) that was made in Bluebirds (was anyone else a Camp Fire Girl?); several ornaments depicting ātraditionalā dress of various cultures around the world, which is likely incorrect but were obtained by my parents on multiple successive years at Dillardās department store Black Friday sales (they went back every year for the new releases to complete the set); and a gold-plated laser-cut image of the White House that my dad brought back from a Promise Keepers weekend in D.C. (his only visit to the city and something he talked about wistfully for the rest of his life). Every piece has a story or a memory, and itās very meaningful for me to pull them out each year.
š§¦ filling up stockings with small gifts to be opened first thing Christmas morning ā though Iām doing it for my mom now (thereās no one left to do it for me š), I still look for >$10 trinkets to include every year; always some candy and usually a fun *something* like calendar, ornament, or gift card. As children there was always an orange or ruby red grapefruit in the bottom of the stocking and we eventually learned that my parents only did that to āfill the toe.ā š
š½ Christmas Eve snacks of barbecued liāl smokies + homemade queso + ākebabsā on little toothpicks with a cube of cheese, a slice of hot dog wiener, and a pineapple chunk (itās weird but also weirdly awesome dunked in green onion dip). This was our go-to meal on December 24, which we would eat while playing board games as a family. As adults, my younger sister continued that game-playing tradition with her own family, and I seriously miss that part of Eve celebrations. I tried to invite myself and Mom to join them this year but sheās hateful and rearranged it to exclude us from joining. š
Yāallā¦ Iām struggling. And I hate being so sad about stuff. (h/t to D.L. Mayfield for honesty about grumpiness.) While discussing all of this with my mom last night, I said, ā Iāve never had a champion. Sometimes I wish someone would just defend me when my sisters use me as the punching back and scapegoat for all their bad behavior.ā In my 30s, God was very good to me in cementing my belovedness and showing me that my identity was in Christ and nothing else, but there are days when humanity overwhelms and I just really wish for an audible chastising when Iām targeted. š„ŗ
Nowā¦
Hereās the joy of the week: I had a full day to shop *with a clear mind* yesterday while Mom hung out at the other sisterās home, and Iām 99.6% finished with gift shopping! š„³ We also started Advent readings and itās becoming a sweet time of reading to Mom with the lit candle, listening to the selected āShadow and Lightā song, and opening the Advent calendar to share the tiny piece of chocolate. Thereās so little that Mom can do on her own anymore and so much extra Cinderella work for me on the daily, so this first-thing ritual of togetherness is becoming precious time. After reading Tsh Oxenreiderās liturgical calendar explainers to Mom (a faith tradition we didnāt have before), weāve decided to extend Christmas through Epiphany and try to delay taking down the decorations when the rest of the world starts screaming ānew! new! new!ā š My pen pal and I are doing 12 days of Christmas gifts this year and starting on the actual first day (Dec 25), so Iām really hoping to dive deep into the liturgical way of doing the season. To that end, this next week will be about Preparation: decorating the house, making Christmas cards, finalizing the family stocking gifts, and diving into the playlists. Iām ready for JOY. š
At some point in my childhood, my family started the Christmas tradition of making blueberry muffins from a box mix on Christmas morning. My mom still does that; my family has come to prefer the Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls, though. Which are a heck of a lot more work, but totally worth it.
A tradition we stole from my sister-in-law's family is that we each open a gift, then we wander off and play with the new toy, or make coffee, or read the new book - whatever we want/need to do - and come back and open another gift after an hour or two. It keeps the kids from getting overwhelmed, and draws out the gift-giving throughout the day instead of a mad dash at dawn.
I've been a lurker, but this is my first time to post here. I just love this community and how kind and welcoming everyone is.
One of my favorite traditions is sending Christmas cards. I send to people from all parts of my life, and I just love making the card, reaching out to friends and updating addresses, addressing the cards, and putting them in the mail. It feels like a small way to stay connected to people who have been good friends at different times in my life, even if I no longer regularly see or talk to them.
That said, I'd love to send a Christmas card to anyone who needs a little bit of extra cheer. Whether it's you or someone you know who's had a hard month or year or decade, I'd love to send you/them a Christmas card! Feel free to drop your address here or email it to me at wareagle34au@yahoo.com. I'd consider it an honor to add you to my list. :)
Erin, thank you for possibly my favorite gift this year, this month's AUA. Truly, truly magical.
Every year, we try to dial back Christmas more and more.
Two of my favorite recent Christmas memories:
In 2019, friends invited us to a super casual Christmas Eve at their house. They made this cocktail with real cranberries, and there was no food except a box of CheezIts we brought. It was so relaxing somehow, even with the kids there, and I am really hoping that they repeat it this year.
In 2020, we got our usual Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but instead of watching Christmas Story, we watched the 2nd half only of Home Alone with the kids. Definitely a new tradition.
My greatest Christmas victory - my in-laws were increasing the number of family gatherings every year since we moved back - one for each side, then one with their immediate family, then an additional gathering for my MIL's bday that is 12/27 (4 total, not including seeing my side). Covid was the perfect excuse to put a stop to that, and I have no intentions of resuming more than 2 gatherings for their side.
I'm having a gum graft this week, which I know is routine & NBD, but I am really anxious about it! I decided to get my booster Monday, then the procedure Tuesday, so hoping to just get it all over with at once. :)
We have a lot of Advent traditions, but not a ton of Christmas traditions yet. This is the first year our family of 6 will be celebrating Christmas without extended family, so I am trying to figure out what to do. We do usually go to some "dancing Christmas lights" in town; our local theater is playing some Christmas movies for $5 so we might do that. I love sending Christmas cards, too. I'll definitely be reading through all of yours today to get some more ideas!
Treasures this week:
1. My Kindle. I have read more in the last few weeks, and stayed off of social media, due to my Kindle. Also, my library and the Libby app, which has library ebooks for Kindle.
2. My husband gifted me family portraits 2 Christmases ago, and this week he surprised me with booking them. We had a blast with our photographer, and I am super excited to see the results in a few weeks.
3. Singing karaoke at Thanksgiving for the first time in years. SO much fun.
4. The All Staff PMG AUA. Holy cow, it has been a long time since I have laughed that hard. I feel like I got a glimpse of what the live shows are going to be like and I am now even more pumped.
5. 68 degree weather in December. It's been glorious to go for bike rides to clear my head and get my kids moving.
We have a tradition that weāve changed over the years, but it currently goes like this. We set up our nativity set and then hide the star that comes with the set (itās a pewter nativity set and the star is designed to fit into a wooden creche that we donāt actually own). Everyone looks for the star, and whoever finds it gets to hide it again, but the rule is that it must be hidden closer to the nativity set each time. The goal is for it to make its way to the nativity set by Christmas. My husband goes all out, he draws a blueprint of the house and circles showing the radius from the āhome baseā so we know if everyone is followed the rules when re-hiding it.
We used to hide the baby Jesus figurine, and even a lot of our friends/family were in on the tradition. Theyād come into our home during the month of December and say, āso where was baby Jesus last?ā ā¦but eventually, constantly hearing āwhereās baby Jesus?ā or āhave you seen baby Jesus?ā became a bit tooā¦much. Maybe that seems silly but I felt convicted when it became a jokey thing to say, so we switched to the star š
My favorite advent tradition happened about 15 yrs ago by accident when the lights wouldn't work. So we decided to have a "waiting period" before we lit the tree. This first week of advent we light to the tree to represent the hope that has come and is coming. (This means we practice the sacrilege of putting our tree up the week or two before advent.) It was all fun and games when life is pretty normal and mundane. When we hit difficult years it changes due to the darkness being navigated and we just lit the thing. (I say that to say it's flexible) Each time the spiritual components we and our kids walked away with were even in darkness there can be glimpses of how hope has come and is coming. When we started it I'll shoot straight it was to teach our kids my former reformed background of utter depravity cause we were all supersonic spiritual and holy :)
On a way lighter note: when our kids hit 15, we let them watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with us. (our kids are 23,20,15,12 and 6)
Okay, first of all, feel that Sleepytime Bear tweet in my B O N E S. Dang.
So, in the last 7+ years that my husband and I have been married, we have used a tiny baby mini fake Christmas tree to adorn our living space for the season. Was it a trusty lil thing that brought much joy? Yes. But every year, I have to say, I experienced much sadness not having a tree taller than me (ideally taller than my husband).
BOOM: Enter 2021. Not a great year, tbh. I mean, I have many things to be grateful for, absolutely, but overall? I donāt think Iāll look back on 2021 and be like, āWow, what a great year.ā Grief and conflict and brokenness has been at the forefront for my family this year, and the heaviness has been overwhelming.
Itās also the first year since getting married that we will wake up on Christmas morning in our own home with our two boys without any impending travel. Once that decision was made, I refused to budge on getting a large tree. I was going to have Christmas cheer MY WAY, THANK YOU V MUCH. I would have loved a real tree and the whole experience of going to get one, but I happily settled on a fake one - PTL for Black Friday deals at Michaelās.
So this year we start the tradition of putting up our large Christmas tree. I love it so much. I did yoga last night only by the light of the tree and it was magical. š
Also magical? Winning raffles. š My sonās preschool does a raffle every year as a fundraiser, and I usually only get a handful a tickets, maybe 5 or 6. But my method is to put one ticket in like 5 or 6 different buckets for baskets that look decent because Iām a 9 and choosing only one or two things to put multiple tickets in requires too much decision-making power. This year, my 2-year-old helped me choose, and he put one of our tickets in a basket with an indoor sāmores maker and WE WON. I think we might have another tradition in the making - Christmas Eve sāmores, maybe? š
Love to you all as we enter this season - grief, joy, and all. š
I'm barely been able to catch up with all of your news before Sunday most weeks so I've been quietly lurking but not commenting, but today, I'm here...on FRIDAY! It's the last full week of classes in my college program and I cannot be more excited that it's almost Christmas break. This will be the first time in years that I haven't had to work on either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day (Dec 26) and I am SO excited to get time just to chill. It's been a pretty tough autumn so a chance to recharge is much needed.
We live far from all of our relatives, so we've spent 20 years creating the traditions that mean the most to us, and I love it. This weekend we're putting up the (12 foot!) tree and decking the halls. My mum gave me all of the ornaments that we'd had on our tree growing up, and we buy a new ornament whenever we travel, so there's lots of reminiscing about Christmases past.
One thing about living so far away is that I had to learn to make all of the traditional treats and dishes, so I've now mastered meat pies, peanut butter balls, cherry balls, white fruitcake and Yankee Buns. Baking is my love language so having time this year to cook all the treats is bringing me joy!
Our Christmas day involves opening stocking, making a big breakfast, then taking our time to open gifts. Since we're a huge LEGO family everyone gets a set to build while we watch Christmas movies. Last year they gave me the Sesame Street set and I was so happy I burst into tears. We cook us a beautiful roast beef for supper and feast, feast, feast! Then we jump in the car and do a "Twinkle Tour" of all the lights.
Favourite movies/shows around here are Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, The Family Stone, Merry Madagascar, Just Friends, The Grinch (original version only), Four Christmases and of course, Harry Potter.
Christmas tradition - my husband started this on year one of our marriageā¦we buy all the fun candy cane flavors and add them to our Christmas tree decor. Fast forward 15 years, my boys love it. It is fun to see all the cool flavors they have now like Nerds, Airheads, etc. It is not fun to have them until March. Itās like Halloween candy round two! šš
Thanks for sharing the article about Anthony Broadwater!! Crazy but redeeming story! I listened to his taped video here and gave a donation. I hope they make a film and book about his story. He is a believer as you will hear. To get to the video you have to scroll down to older posts by the originator.https://gofund.me/08c651d5
Hello, my internet friends! Some of my favorite traditions growing up happened on Christmas Eve. We always, always went to late church (midnight mass but it started at 11pm) then home to unwrap our presents to each other (my parents, me and my brother), have a glass of egg nog (wine as we got older LOL), my brother and I would take turns reading Luke 2 each year, then off to bed because Santa was coming.
Fast forward to now. We go to the 3pm family service, dinner with our chosen family (plus my parents and occasionally my brother and his wife as they live in DC) then home to bed. My kids are never happy to go to bed unless itās Christmas Eve.
I began a tradition in 2009 weeks before I gave birth to my oldest (Dec. 28) and bought him an ornament. Each year, Iād buy him a new ornament that signified something he was into that year or a significant event that happened for him. When little brother was born, I did the same thing. So last year, they both got basset hound ornaments because we got a pandemic basset hound puppy. One day, when theyāre all grown and leave me, Iāll pack up their ornaments so they can put them on their tree. Much like my mom did years ago when she gifted me felt ornaments she bought way before I was born but have always loved putting on the tree growing up.
Merry Christmas!
We have never been very concerned about traditions, which is frankly just fine, less pressure that way. However, we are very serious about stockings. There are people in this world who believe that anything that can fit in a stocking is a stocking stuffer and these people are wrong. That jewelry goes with the Tree Presents, you heathen. Stockings are for silly things and useful junk. My great-aunt, who died before I was really old enough to get to know her, put Hot Wheels in everyone's stockings every year. They still make an appearance from time to time. Random extra person coming for Christmas we didn't know about? It may take the form of a paper sack with their name Sharpied on it, but they will get a stocking so help us God.
Sarah Marshall said somewhere that any movie that makes you happy at Christmastime is a Christmas movie, so there's a little bit of freedom to take into your season. Last year Ghostbusters was on TV on Christmas Eve and it made me happy - who knows what this year's Christmas movie will be?
People with jobs with lots of standing - how do you do this without your body hurting all the time? I'm used to being on my feet a lot, but being static in one place is different and I'm having a hard time. I had my first surgery shift at a new non-profit today, and it went well but if I'm going to be increasing my surgery load compared to my last job, I've got to figure out a way to do it without a giant knot forming in the middle of my back halfway through the workday. Help! (I have ordered new shoes, I have previously found yoga helpful for the aftermath more than for prevention, and also don't have anywhere to do it currently.)
I've really liked reading about all of your traditions! Ours are pretty simple - the tree always goes up the Friday after Thanksgiving, and each member of the family has a section of the tree that their special ornaments. I realized this year that my son (who's 28) might not be here next year to decorate...bittersweet to be sure. Treasure the moments young mamas - they go by so stinkin fast. The treasure of tradition is a Christmas Tea and ornament exchange that I've been hosting for about 20 years now with the same group of precious women that I've known since our kids were in preschool together. We hang out, catch up play silly Christmas trivia games, laugh, pray for each other and just generally have the best time! It's going to be a smaller group this year as one of us is recovering from surgery and another has been exposed to C.... and is being very protective of me (I'm immunosuppressed due to a heart transplant), so we will include them on Zoom and still laugh about it! The other tradition, which I'm about to start now, is making peanut brittle. It's my grandmother's recipe and I taught the kid how to make it last year, but it must be made every year - you don't monkey with tradition!
I've loved reading about your Christmas traditions! Instead of being specific to my family, I thought I could tell you a little about Christmas in Sweden if you want?
š„£ Here, the main day of celebration is Christmas Eve. We eat "Julbord" which is a Christmas smorgasbord with stuff like ham, tiny sausages, meatballs, brawn, smoked salmon, pickled herring, brussels sprouts, special Christmas breads and cheeses, and of course rice porridge topped with cinnamon and sugar š¤·āāļø
šŗ At three in the afternoon over half of the country's population watch Disney's From All of Us to All of You on TV. It's been broadcast every year since 1959 and a few years ago when the network announced they were going to stop people were outraged and the network had to cave and it's still on.
š Most families open presents in the evening. Sometimes Santa shows up and hands out the presents himself in your living room. No chimneys or stockings here, Santa knocks on the door and wishes you a Merry Christmas. It's a tiny country, he has time.
š "Tjugondedag jul" or "Tjugondedag Knut", also known as Saint Knut's Day, 20 days after Christmas Eve is traditionally the day when Christmas is over, the tree is thrown out, the decorations taken down and the left over cookies and candy is eaten. People used to get together for "Christmas tree plundering" parties but I'm not sure that's a thing anymore.
So, those are a few of the weird things we do, and eat, during the holidays. I'm sure there are more! Merry Christmas everyone! š
Our Christmas looks pretty standard: driving to my parent's house with my sisters (three of us in our twenties), staying for less and less time each year as our jobs and lives in other states call, almost as soon as presents are unwrapped, or so it feels, I guess. Except for one tradition we invented in the last few years.
My dad has always been the cook in our family. He gave us a love of that onions-and-garlic-cooking-in-oil-smell, loves farmer's markets and cooking fish we caught together, and asks my sisters and I to help chop things, or oversee a salad production, as a means of quality time.
Around the time we were coming home from college for Christmas break, my dad created a Christmas Eve hors d'oeuvres competition that I look forward to every year. After the Christmas Eve service, we banish my parents to another part of the house (blind judging only) and play Christina and every other Christmas classic, with champagne and cheese and crackers, and create different appetizers for my parents to score and proclaim an annual winner. Some years it's as elaborate as each having the same amount of money to find our ingredients and race to get them (while hiding our plans from each other). Other years, we facetime family members in to score the presentation portion of the event. My mom usually gives lots of high scores to the dish that she thinks people won't like, to balance the score. (Do pity votes count?) As signif others have come (and gone) they get to choose to be a guest judge or a cooking partner. (And that is an excellent judge of character.) I don't think of my sisters and I as very competitive people, either, but something about fighting over the last bag of Jerusalem artichokes or the final hunk of apricot stilton, makes one feel the mostly friendly fire.
It's a tradition that embodies our love of surprises, cooking as a love language, and every year includes a wild dash of last minute bacon-making and cheese + exotic fruit improvisation. When people ask about Christmas traditions, it always makes my heart swell to describe this one. It feels like I get to tell people about my family and our specific love in these details. Nothing says Jesus is born! like guest judges and Christina Christmas music and a score chart that I think my dad keeps in a file in his office, to brush off once a year with the lights and the stockings.
Erin Hicks Moon (!), I needed this reminder about family traditions!!!
š¢ emotional roller coaster aheadā
Yāall know Iāve struggled with my sisters in our adult years and itās particularly DRAMATIC around shared holidays, but while growing up our family had true joy at Christmas. (I seriously miss it.) Some of those traditions have continued with their kids, and my mom insists on the food traditions, but itās really tough trying to recapture that childhood joy. Gratefully, Iāve learned to live a singular life and do very well at making my own damn self happy. š
My favorite traditions are:
šŗ watching āA Charlie Brown Christmasā, āThe Year Without a Santa Clausā (the Miser brothers are the best/worst) and āItās a Wonderful Lifeā (always always always on the Christmas Eve *broadcast*. If I donāt see all three during December, it just wasnāt a good season. I also *avoid* certain shows because they annoy me and take away all joy Iām fighting for (looking at you, Frosty and Rudolph!)
š decorating the tree with sentimental ornaments ā when I was a teen, my mom decided our tree would only contain ornaments that had meaning; no generic balls that fell off and got broken every year. And when my sisters and I moved from home, she gave us each the ornaments specific to ourselves. So now my tree features only decorations that hold memories, like a ceramic angel with my name and date etched on the back (1976) that was made in Bluebirds (was anyone else a Camp Fire Girl?); several ornaments depicting ātraditionalā dress of various cultures around the world, which is likely incorrect but were obtained by my parents on multiple successive years at Dillardās department store Black Friday sales (they went back every year for the new releases to complete the set); and a gold-plated laser-cut image of the White House that my dad brought back from a Promise Keepers weekend in D.C. (his only visit to the city and something he talked about wistfully for the rest of his life). Every piece has a story or a memory, and itās very meaningful for me to pull them out each year.
š§¦ filling up stockings with small gifts to be opened first thing Christmas morning ā though Iām doing it for my mom now (thereās no one left to do it for me š), I still look for >$10 trinkets to include every year; always some candy and usually a fun *something* like calendar, ornament, or gift card. As children there was always an orange or ruby red grapefruit in the bottom of the stocking and we eventually learned that my parents only did that to āfill the toe.ā š
š½ Christmas Eve snacks of barbecued liāl smokies + homemade queso + ākebabsā on little toothpicks with a cube of cheese, a slice of hot dog wiener, and a pineapple chunk (itās weird but also weirdly awesome dunked in green onion dip). This was our go-to meal on December 24, which we would eat while playing board games as a family. As adults, my younger sister continued that game-playing tradition with her own family, and I seriously miss that part of Eve celebrations. I tried to invite myself and Mom to join them this year but sheās hateful and rearranged it to exclude us from joining. š
I think what I miss the most and canāt really re-create is the *fun* of togetherness on Christmas Eve. Just last weekend (hereās this weekās š©), that same sister ruined my momās chill birthday by showing up, uninvited, with her daughter, son-in-law, and grandkids, arriving while Mom was still in bed and making her get up to ācelebrate.ā She brought Momās favorite dish from Olive Garden, proceeded to split it up for her own lunch portion, and later they all sang happy birthday with a store-bought cake fit for a 3-year-old, followed by another divvying up of slices to leave Mom a *single* piece of cake to eat later in the day when she was ready. (They took the rest of heršš»birthday šš» cake šš» home with them!š¤Æ) And, as usual, no one asked me if Iād like to get food for myself. So everyone sat around enjoying lunch and cake while Mom sipped her coffee and I had nothing. I was so furious at the passive-aggressive self-serving nature of it all that I sent an angry note to my sister that night telling her how rude it was to center themselves instead of Mom and to exclude me completely WHILE AT MY OWN HOME. Iām still pretty š¤ a week later. And, par for the course, now Iāll be a pariah at our Xmas gathering in a couple weeks.
Yāallā¦ Iām struggling. And I hate being so sad about stuff. (h/t to D.L. Mayfield for honesty about grumpiness.) While discussing all of this with my mom last night, I said, ā Iāve never had a champion. Sometimes I wish someone would just defend me when my sisters use me as the punching back and scapegoat for all their bad behavior.ā In my 30s, God was very good to me in cementing my belovedness and showing me that my identity was in Christ and nothing else, but there are days when humanity overwhelms and I just really wish for an audible chastising when Iām targeted. š„ŗ
Nowā¦
Hereās the joy of the week: I had a full day to shop *with a clear mind* yesterday while Mom hung out at the other sisterās home, and Iām 99.6% finished with gift shopping! š„³ We also started Advent readings and itās becoming a sweet time of reading to Mom with the lit candle, listening to the selected āShadow and Lightā song, and opening the Advent calendar to share the tiny piece of chocolate. Thereās so little that Mom can do on her own anymore and so much extra Cinderella work for me on the daily, so this first-thing ritual of togetherness is becoming precious time. After reading Tsh Oxenreiderās liturgical calendar explainers to Mom (a faith tradition we didnāt have before), weāve decided to extend Christmas through Epiphany and try to delay taking down the decorations when the rest of the world starts screaming ānew! new! new!ā š My pen pal and I are doing 12 days of Christmas gifts this year and starting on the actual first day (Dec 25), so Iām really hoping to dive deep into the liturgical way of doing the season. To that end, this next week will be about Preparation: decorating the house, making Christmas cards, finalizing the family stocking gifts, and diving into the playlists. Iām ready for JOY. š
TL:DR This is me these days (and always): https://www.instagram.com/tv/CW42HMODq6R
At some point in my childhood, my family started the Christmas tradition of making blueberry muffins from a box mix on Christmas morning. My mom still does that; my family has come to prefer the Pioneer Woman's cinnamon rolls, though. Which are a heck of a lot more work, but totally worth it.
A tradition we stole from my sister-in-law's family is that we each open a gift, then we wander off and play with the new toy, or make coffee, or read the new book - whatever we want/need to do - and come back and open another gift after an hour or two. It keeps the kids from getting overwhelmed, and draws out the gift-giving throughout the day instead of a mad dash at dawn.
I've been a lurker, but this is my first time to post here. I just love this community and how kind and welcoming everyone is.
One of my favorite traditions is sending Christmas cards. I send to people from all parts of my life, and I just love making the card, reaching out to friends and updating addresses, addressing the cards, and putting them in the mail. It feels like a small way to stay connected to people who have been good friends at different times in my life, even if I no longer regularly see or talk to them.
That said, I'd love to send a Christmas card to anyone who needs a little bit of extra cheer. Whether it's you or someone you know who's had a hard month or year or decade, I'd love to send you/them a Christmas card! Feel free to drop your address here or email it to me at wareagle34au@yahoo.com. I'd consider it an honor to add you to my list. :)
Erin, thank you for possibly my favorite gift this year, this month's AUA. Truly, truly magical.
Every year, we try to dial back Christmas more and more.
Two of my favorite recent Christmas memories:
In 2019, friends invited us to a super casual Christmas Eve at their house. They made this cocktail with real cranberries, and there was no food except a box of CheezIts we brought. It was so relaxing somehow, even with the kids there, and I am really hoping that they repeat it this year.
In 2020, we got our usual Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but instead of watching Christmas Story, we watched the 2nd half only of Home Alone with the kids. Definitely a new tradition.
My greatest Christmas victory - my in-laws were increasing the number of family gatherings every year since we moved back - one for each side, then one with their immediate family, then an additional gathering for my MIL's bday that is 12/27 (4 total, not including seeing my side). Covid was the perfect excuse to put a stop to that, and I have no intentions of resuming more than 2 gatherings for their side.
I'm having a gum graft this week, which I know is routine & NBD, but I am really anxious about it! I decided to get my booster Monday, then the procedure Tuesday, so hoping to just get it all over with at once. :)
We have a lot of Advent traditions, but not a ton of Christmas traditions yet. This is the first year our family of 6 will be celebrating Christmas without extended family, so I am trying to figure out what to do. We do usually go to some "dancing Christmas lights" in town; our local theater is playing some Christmas movies for $5 so we might do that. I love sending Christmas cards, too. I'll definitely be reading through all of yours today to get some more ideas!
Treasures this week:
1. My Kindle. I have read more in the last few weeks, and stayed off of social media, due to my Kindle. Also, my library and the Libby app, which has library ebooks for Kindle.
2. My husband gifted me family portraits 2 Christmases ago, and this week he surprised me with booking them. We had a blast with our photographer, and I am super excited to see the results in a few weeks.
3. Singing karaoke at Thanksgiving for the first time in years. SO much fun.
4. The All Staff PMG AUA. Holy cow, it has been a long time since I have laughed that hard. I feel like I got a glimpse of what the live shows are going to be like and I am now even more pumped.
5. 68 degree weather in December. It's been glorious to go for bike rides to clear my head and get my kids moving.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
We have a tradition that weāve changed over the years, but it currently goes like this. We set up our nativity set and then hide the star that comes with the set (itās a pewter nativity set and the star is designed to fit into a wooden creche that we donāt actually own). Everyone looks for the star, and whoever finds it gets to hide it again, but the rule is that it must be hidden closer to the nativity set each time. The goal is for it to make its way to the nativity set by Christmas. My husband goes all out, he draws a blueprint of the house and circles showing the radius from the āhome baseā so we know if everyone is followed the rules when re-hiding it.
We used to hide the baby Jesus figurine, and even a lot of our friends/family were in on the tradition. Theyād come into our home during the month of December and say, āso where was baby Jesus last?ā ā¦but eventually, constantly hearing āwhereās baby Jesus?ā or āhave you seen baby Jesus?ā became a bit tooā¦much. Maybe that seems silly but I felt convicted when it became a jokey thing to say, so we switched to the star š
My favorite advent tradition happened about 15 yrs ago by accident when the lights wouldn't work. So we decided to have a "waiting period" before we lit the tree. This first week of advent we light to the tree to represent the hope that has come and is coming. (This means we practice the sacrilege of putting our tree up the week or two before advent.) It was all fun and games when life is pretty normal and mundane. When we hit difficult years it changes due to the darkness being navigated and we just lit the thing. (I say that to say it's flexible) Each time the spiritual components we and our kids walked away with were even in darkness there can be glimpses of how hope has come and is coming. When we started it I'll shoot straight it was to teach our kids my former reformed background of utter depravity cause we were all supersonic spiritual and holy :)
On a way lighter note: when our kids hit 15, we let them watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with us. (our kids are 23,20,15,12 and 6)
Okay, first of all, feel that Sleepytime Bear tweet in my B O N E S. Dang.
So, in the last 7+ years that my husband and I have been married, we have used a tiny baby mini fake Christmas tree to adorn our living space for the season. Was it a trusty lil thing that brought much joy? Yes. But every year, I have to say, I experienced much sadness not having a tree taller than me (ideally taller than my husband).
BOOM: Enter 2021. Not a great year, tbh. I mean, I have many things to be grateful for, absolutely, but overall? I donāt think Iāll look back on 2021 and be like, āWow, what a great year.ā Grief and conflict and brokenness has been at the forefront for my family this year, and the heaviness has been overwhelming.
Itās also the first year since getting married that we will wake up on Christmas morning in our own home with our two boys without any impending travel. Once that decision was made, I refused to budge on getting a large tree. I was going to have Christmas cheer MY WAY, THANK YOU V MUCH. I would have loved a real tree and the whole experience of going to get one, but I happily settled on a fake one - PTL for Black Friday deals at Michaelās.
So this year we start the tradition of putting up our large Christmas tree. I love it so much. I did yoga last night only by the light of the tree and it was magical. š
Also magical? Winning raffles. š My sonās preschool does a raffle every year as a fundraiser, and I usually only get a handful a tickets, maybe 5 or 6. But my method is to put one ticket in like 5 or 6 different buckets for baskets that look decent because Iām a 9 and choosing only one or two things to put multiple tickets in requires too much decision-making power. This year, my 2-year-old helped me choose, and he put one of our tickets in a basket with an indoor sāmores maker and WE WON. I think we might have another tradition in the making - Christmas Eve sāmores, maybe? š
Love to you all as we enter this season - grief, joy, and all. š
I'm barely been able to catch up with all of your news before Sunday most weeks so I've been quietly lurking but not commenting, but today, I'm here...on FRIDAY! It's the last full week of classes in my college program and I cannot be more excited that it's almost Christmas break. This will be the first time in years that I haven't had to work on either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day (Dec 26) and I am SO excited to get time just to chill. It's been a pretty tough autumn so a chance to recharge is much needed.
We live far from all of our relatives, so we've spent 20 years creating the traditions that mean the most to us, and I love it. This weekend we're putting up the (12 foot!) tree and decking the halls. My mum gave me all of the ornaments that we'd had on our tree growing up, and we buy a new ornament whenever we travel, so there's lots of reminiscing about Christmases past.
One thing about living so far away is that I had to learn to make all of the traditional treats and dishes, so I've now mastered meat pies, peanut butter balls, cherry balls, white fruitcake and Yankee Buns. Baking is my love language so having time this year to cook all the treats is bringing me joy!
Our Christmas day involves opening stocking, making a big breakfast, then taking our time to open gifts. Since we're a huge LEGO family everyone gets a set to build while we watch Christmas movies. Last year they gave me the Sesame Street set and I was so happy I burst into tears. We cook us a beautiful roast beef for supper and feast, feast, feast! Then we jump in the car and do a "Twinkle Tour" of all the lights.
Favourite movies/shows around here are Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, The Family Stone, Merry Madagascar, Just Friends, The Grinch (original version only), Four Christmases and of course, Harry Potter.
May your days be merry and bright, Li'l Swipes!