- I CUT MY HAIR! chopped it officially shorter than it's been since I was a baby. Originally I was going to shave it all off (for mourning/starting over reasons) but I got into my hair stylist & realized I need to keep some hair in reserves just in case June brings something horrible again & I need to go shorter as a giant FU to a universe that so often feels like it doesn't care. So it's a cute pixie I'm still trying to figure out which products work well with. But the joy of not having the length is magic.
- My husband complimented me on making dinner out of nothing. We're still trying to get our mortgage application completed so money is kinda tighter than either of us loves, but I have a weird sense of accomplishment (and grief - they are intertwined a lot these days) over how being 'long time poor' equipped me to be frugal.
Turds:
- I'm behind at work. A lot. And I can't stop stressing over it. Which makes things take longer than anticipated because I'm expending energy trying to not retraumatize my nervous system but also accomplish things.
- I'm not talking to either of my parents right now. Chaos in the family has meant for my own sanity I had to step away in order to not perpetuate/endorse dysfunction and I wish it could be different.
As someone who has fantasized about shaving her head for over 20 years, I loved reading about your haircut. I mostly want to do it when I'm angry with my hair (it's falling out because of some health issues) but I felt the shaving it off as "a giant FU to a universe that so often feels like it doesn't care" in my bones! And I love that you love your pixie. Good luck finding the right products!
Family is so hard. Currently going through a non-talking stage with an in-law. It's hard. I miss them. I'm hurt by them. They (extremelt unintentionally) feel hurt by my husband. He's sad. We want not to care because there are so many other things going on. It's kind of nice to not talk to them for a minute? All of the things at once. Hope your mortgage app gets taken care of swiftly and you have money to spare. ❤
Happy Friday everyone! I'm officially on summer break so for the first time in forever, I'm not a week behind at reading this email or your comments. It's delightful!
Turds:
- My fiance got COVID and since he has to take an immunosuppresant, the first two days were rough for him. I had been sick the previous week but since it followed my normal sickness routine of a sore throat, cold, and tiredness, it wasn't till he had all the other symptoms that we realized I probably gave him COVID...Whoops.
- St Louis has entered its classic summer weather, hot topped with excessive humidity. I went for a run and had to walk several times but then that night was cold sitting outside. Totally makes sense.
Treasures:
- Summer break! I've been reading, watching TV, and playing some video games.
- I sent out the Save the Dates for our wedding so it's crazy how real this is becoming. All the big things are scheduled and I've been relaxing this week with the intention of working on all the little things starting next week.
- The biggest treasure: I bought a bike. Mine was stolen during quarantine which was annoying but ok because it was awful. So yesterday, I went to a local bike shop that is sustainable and gives back to the community and bought the first bike they recommended! I already went on a ride yesterday and have been pestering my fiance to get his from his parents so we can ride together.
Looking forward to a great summer and hopefully getting to participate in these comments more!
The comment about bedtime being rage "I love you"s sent me because my 2yo twins insist that I also include the following valedictions before I exit their room:
Oh, also I have not commented here in months, but I am reading Legendborn by Tracy Deonn and it is fabulous!! Sort of Hunger Games-y but set in our world on the campus of UNC with a Black protagonist trying to understand her mom's death and her sudden magical powers that might be related to a secret society of teen/college aged magic users deriving their power from King Arthur, but might also be related to something a little closer to home... can't wait to see how it ends!
Happy Friday, y'all! Things are hectic here. The fifteen year old leaves for five weeks of working at summer camp tomorrow, and we are all feeling all the feels. Super exciting, and also a little nerve wracking! Mostly not sure how the two twelve year olds will keep from killing each other without their peacemaker big sister there to distract and diffuse.
It rained and was cloudy for a solid 18 hours here in Denver this week, and I was so happy. I've been plowing through novels lately, and drinking tea. Never, by Ken Follett. Later, by Stephen King. The Shadow Sister, by Lucinda Riley. The Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz. And nonfiction! The Lazy Genius Kitchen by Kendra Adachi. Rethinking Sex by Christina Emba. Swans by Mary Oliver. It's been a good reading month.
I've enjoyed LGK, except there's a recurring typo that makes me crazy every few pages. #onceaneditoralwaysaneditor Rethinking Sex has been a super refreshing perspective, especially with three adolescents in my house - it articulates a lot of what I value about intimacy and commitment, so I feel like I can have better conversations with them about sex than I could have six months ago.
Well, in the interest of full disclosure, my editing experience consists of three years on the college newspaper, and I graduated in 1998. I looked into freelancing as a copy editor, but never had the time to pursue it. That being said, I think there's a huge market for good editing, based on the typos I see in all kinds of print media. Convincing writers/content creators that they need someone to tighten and polish their material seems tricky to me though. I will say that the more experience you can get, the easier it will be - the editing rules I learned in college have stayed with me, for the most part, and make it simple to tighten and clarify a piece of writing. I'd recommend either working for one of your college's publications or as a writing "consultant" for classmates who want to turn in a good paper. My college had a formal Writing Center staffed by students where people could get that kind of help. And read! Read style manuals and books about language, and novels by authors whose style you admire. Dissect their paragraphs and sentence structure and themes do you can figure out how they put their words together and why it works so well.
It has been a week! My aunt is coming to live with us at the end of June, due to health issues so I’m house hunting again for a bigger place so we can all have some space but it has been a search and offers and just a process. So if you pray please pray that we will find something that will work for us and that our offer will be accepted.
Treasures: i took last Friday off and spent the weekend in Greenville SC and had the best time hanging around downtown and eating delicious food it was just what I needed.
Have friends in town this weekend so that will be fun to catch up
And got a lake house booked for my dads 70th birthday celebration this summer that includes a canoe so I’m looking forward to that later this summer.
My biggest treasure is friends telling me they’re still (or for the first time!) calling their reps.
Lastnight we had one of our last trips to Disneyland and met friends and stayed out way too late- but we ate all the things, had some character magic and it was the perfect mini escape for my brain.
Packing is coming along and I think I’m in a good place for our move in 24 days. But we’ve had some difficult moments with my mom this week and navigating how to keep a person safe who doesn’t know(remember) she has dementia is real hard. Trying to honor her dignity and independence when she doesn’t understand why we don’t want her to travel alone is 😞😭 idk.
Sending you so much love - navigating dementia care is so full of emotion & the thing that weirdly gives me comfort (in the past, not currently caring for someone who is) is reminding myself over and over again - this wouldn't be so difficult if I didn't care so much.
Y'all, I am tired! My mom has been here since 5/27 and doesn't leave until 6/6 living with another person is hard all her routines are different than mine. This is probably the most time we've spent together since the pandemic and it's been a challenge to find things to talk about she's been very quick to anger with things I don't understand and it's just off-putting. I'm hoping this weekend goes well and the bright and early Monday she's on her way home! Overall though it's been helpful in seeing some holes in our relationship that I thought I only had with my dad, so ya know more stuff for my therapist 😭😭
Treasures:
I handlettered a window and work with our new summer hours which was fun and the patrons that saw me working on it were very sweet about it.
I spent most of Monday sewing and finished my newest outfit. I've never worked over the summer as an adult, so I'm still trying to figure out what to wear esp since most of my previous spring/summer professional clothes don't fit. Suggestions welcome!!
I finished the new Simone St. James on audio these week and it was so good! She's writes great ghost stories that are just the right amount of spooky for me!
We're going to Fiddler on the Roof in Charlotte tomorrow and then dinner at Tupelo Honey which should be delightful.
I've never had a job where I couldn't wear jeans or scrubs, so "professional clothes" is a foreign concept to me. However, this summer I have embraced my inner middle-aged divorcee via linen (blends, since actual linen is $$). Old Navy has some pants (with robust pockets) that I really like, and I got another pair from Amazon that are pretty good too. For my money, linen pants are just as comfortable as shorts in the summer, and sometimes even more so.
My suggestions for work clothes are to find something comfy but professional and get it in every color. I fully believe in having a work uniform, it makes things so much easier!
I would start with an elastic waist skirt or a simple dress that goes over the head. Butterick 6317, could be a good one. Don't start with zippers or stretch fabric!
Good morning, everyone! Hope you've had the best week possible. I've been MIA the last two weeks since two weekends ago was my 39th birthday and last weekend was our 2nd anniversary. Lots of celebrating around here, which is one of my big treasures. Other treasures include:
(1) Reading Sara Bareilles' memoir "Sounds Like Me" in an afternoon. I'm not one for celebrity memoirs, but I appreciate that she seems to be someone looking for growth---she could have just stayed in the "making albums" lane and been really successful, but she wrote a Broadway show and is doing Girls5Eva (comedy on Peacock). She also struggles with anxiety and an eating disorder, which felt like it could be a connection. Overall, I give it 5/5 stars and will likely read it again at some point.
(2) My front yard garden has ACTUAL FLOWERS, which means it doesn't just look like we mulched our front yard as a middle finger to lawns in general.
(3) This article from The Atlantic has made my head spin since I read it on Wednesday. I have literally read it 4-5 times, texted it to anyone in my life who likes to think deep thoughts, and can't stop thinking about it. My husband pointed out that it doesn't really say anything that most of us don't already know about how tech is changing our lives, but I found the way it was written plus some of the deeper implications to be really important. It's thick reading but worth your time: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/12/ai-ad-technology-singularity/620521/
That's all for today. Hope your weekends provide some rest and rejuvenation. <3
6. A stray cat, who I named Waffles, has adopted us as his own. He is skittish, never comes inside, but we watch him do his thing and feed him occasionally. It’s the best “pet” situation ever. 🐈
Good luck at your interview, Lauren! I will encourage you the same way I do my SAT/ACT tutoring students---being scared is okay and normal, but just keep reminding yourself of the toolbox of strategies you've got. You can do this! I said a prayer for you this morning!
🧑🏼🌾 This Saturday is the first summer farmers market of the year - it’s the first one back to full capacity since Covid. There will be over 300 vendors and I can’t wait to get tasty bread and goat cheese chèvre and fresh produce!
🍫 Amanda Soltoff sent me some peanut butter fudge from Michigan, and I sobbed when I opened the package. It felt like she had sent me a little bit of hope and a lot of home to me. Nothing quite like michigan fudge.
some turds:
👨 my husband’s work passed him up for a promotion…. again. This is the second time he’s been passed up for this specific position, but like the tenth time he’s been turned down for a new position at all in the last eighteen months. It’s hard. I am hoping he will get back up on his feet and try to find a new company to work for. His confidence is a little broken.
👨 Camping last week was meh and I truly don’t know why I went. I am an indoor girly. An air conditioned girly. a running water girly. Yeesh.
annie f downs promoting john crist on her IG was so disappointing to me. so many women that he abused are stating that he never apologized to them, and I know a lot of his humor is still belittling and misogynistic. I looked up to annie a lot - and now I have lost trust in her. she’s written some things that have been a lifeline for me in really hard times.
I very easily and very quickly will put people on such a high pedestal. I am trying to be better about it but man, it’s so disappointing to be let down by people you really admire.
anyway. happy friday. I hope everyone gets to go to a wonderful farmers market this weekend. ♥️
I hope there’s no more camping in your summer! I don’t follow Annie but I’ve had friends share his stuff again and just...it’s so disappointing. Do they just not see how these things are related?
The first day of our farmer's market was so exciting! It was great to be back and I look forward to going a lot this summer.
As for the AFD post, I agree it was vague and a little tough because it's hard for me to see the reason behind supporting someone who has been known to publicly hurt women. I like you, trust Annie in a lot of ways and usually trust her discernment. I'm trying to remember there's a lot behind the scenes that I don't know; she's good friends with his sister and therefore has a bigger perspective than what I know from the news. So I'm trying to believe she thinks what she's doing is the best choice for her and her friends. She doesn't want to hide that she's friends I guess. We'd also have a problem with that.
However, I think you're right about putting people on a pedestal. And I think this is a good reminder for me about hearing and learning from multiple voices and perspectives online and in my real life, especially about my faith. Just like we shouldn't be only listening to everything Annie says, we can't listen only to everything Erin says. Or our pastor says. This sort of thing helps me remember that I can think and make decisions about topics myself, despite what the people I respect on the internet think.
I have assumed she was still friends with him, based on her silence about what happened. I believe she is a good friend to him, I don't doubt that. It is just hard to ignore the deafening comments of people asking for her to acknowledge that he has hurt victims, and she's just been silent. It's disheartening, and was sad to see on my IG feed.
I agree with you that we need to remember that we can make decisions ourselves. Just is hard!
I don't follow AFD, so I don't know what her posts are normally like, but the caption did seem weird and vague. It really sucks, though.
HOWEVER, I made those blondies last week (without the pecans, don't hate me!) and they are maybe the best thing I've ever put in my mouth? They're incredible and I'm obsessed, so thank you for sharing them!
Yay for farmers' markets, they are such a delight!
I was really surprised by Annie's post as well! I go back and forth with her, there's a lot I appreciate in the work she does, but also plenty that I disagree with. John needs good Christian friends that will hold him accountable, but I wish this was a moment she'd just kept private.
Her caption was weird, and yes - I think John needs good friends to keep him accountable. I also think that accountability, for him, would look like no longer allowing him to have the platform that led to so much abuse. I have appreciated so much - A&E Keep Talking was something I clung to in 2020. But I think that at this point right now I am just taking a step back from Annie at all, which is unfortunate.
Have you noticed that like christian influencers/celebrities/whatever you wanna call them will like post something that is SO VAGUE and non descriptive and it makes no sense? I don’t get it
Shelby, this is why we should only put animals and foods on pedestals 😉 Seriously though, you’re not the only person I’ve seen disappointed over that post ❤️
I was super disappointed when AFD promoted a "wellness guru" (not even sure he was a real doctor) on her podcast, too. Something that helped me was to remember that she is just a normal person who is doing her best, and her internet space is hers to do with as she chooses. My responsibility is to remember that people can be two things at once: they can be amazing writers who give us nuggets of truth to get through hard times AND ALSO they can be interested in people/ideas that I don't agree with. I'm sorry you're feeling disappointed, though. That's hard when someone has been a lifeline for you.
Thanks for writing this - keeping this vague, but a few years ago I was recommended a book by a friend whose recommendations are normally perfect for me. This book had a forward by an author who I really liked at the time (but have also pivoted from since). The topic was one I was really interested in and had some personal experience with, and some of the conclusions the author reached are somewhat unique, challenging and useful ideas in certain Christian spaces. But I HATED this book. Hated it. Maybe have never hated a book more; there was a lot of unrecognized white privilege on just about every page. Then in the last few months I saw that Erin & this author are friends. It made me feel awful, because I realized I had forgotten that this author is a real person probably just doing their best. I could have benefitted from reading your comment ^ at the time that I had read this book! :)
It isn’t that I don’t think she can be friends with him, it’s that JC has credible abuse allegations and all he’s done is joke about “cancel culture” and a lot of women he was a predator toward still have not received an apology. It was just a bit of whiplash after she lamented the SBC abuse on twitter. It also feels like I am maybe putting too much pressure on her as a lifeline for me to remember christian’s aren’t all terrible? And that’s my own cross to bear but man. Just a bummer.
Ah, okay. The predator factor feels perhaps a little different than just someone selling snake-oil ideas about health. I can see why that would be very upsetting. :( I hope that you're able to find some peace about it, whatever that means for you. Loss of trust is a really hard thing to grieve.
Don’t get me wrong, snake-oil ideas is weird too. 😂 But thank you - I hadn’t realized how much hope I had carried in her. And that’s on me! So I’m just re-evaluating how I think about people in prominent positions like her. Tough way to start the weekend!
"So I’m just re-evaluating how I think about people in prominent positions like her" Yes! Just prominent Christians in general. I've really been thinking about this recently and trying to figure out how I can shift and learn more from local church pastors who are loving their congregations well.
Yes. I have a hard time with that, too! Living in Utah means the pond of non-LDS leaders is small and if I don’t know someone directly, I know someone who does. And the hurt and abuse that has been caused in UT is not dissimilar to the SBC, if maybe not as many sexual abuse allegations as much as financial/emotional abuse.
Re: camping, you like what you like and that’s okay! I hope you enjoy all the tasty bread and goat cheese! Speaking of which, that sounds really good. 🥰
Good morning from... VACATION. 🙌🏻 It’s actually happening! My sisters (henceforth known as the Cinderella sisters, thanks to Jenny T 😂) managed to give me a cobbled together string of days that more or less amount to a week. There’s a single night where one sister was unwilling to change her (non-essential) plans 🤨 so I’ll have to be on hand for my mom, but Mom decided to join me instead of making me return home in the middle of my time away. It’s not perfect, but it’s what I could get.
I’m using these days as a personal retreat, a chance to rest and read and do some deep work alongside creative activities. The amount of books and tech I brought with me is ridiculous! I’m also planning a few binge watches, and there will be a shameful amount of rich foods and unhealthy snacks. Heaven. 😊
I’m only an hour away from home, should anything arise, but I booked a hotel suite on a high floor with all the city sounds and the sunrise outside my window, and it’s exactly what I needed. Today will be lazy — a chance to release all the adrenaline from a full week of writing aaaalllll the caregiving notes for my sisters and thinking about every tiny aspect of living with our mom. I’m exhausted from just prepping to get here! But so very thankful that it’s all working out. Thanks to everyone who kept me hopeful and acknowledged the challenges I faced to make this finally happen. I needed all that encouragement! Wishing you all a lovely summer.
Jules, I'm so glad you've been able to get some time away! You've handled this situation with such kindness putting your mom's needs first and making sure she's cared for. I absolutely would have just dipped and made my siblings figure it out on their own. I hope your vacation is restful and energizing!
Oh, I definitely wanted to just walk out the door and leave it all for them to figure out! Ultimately I let grace remind me that for the past 3 years my j-o-b has been my mom’s care and I want her to be as comfortable as possible. The selfish part also didn’t want to listen afterward to how they f-ed up everything. 🫠
May your vacation be restful, full of good food, and leave you feeling energized. You deserve it, in fact you deserve a six month vacation, but a week is a good start. ♥️
📚 Summer Reading is in full swing at the library, and I am loving it but also v tired! We get to give every single kid under 19 a free book and it's the best thing ever!
🏙 We're going to NYC in a couple of weeks, and we'll be there on my birthday! If you have any restaurant or other recommendations, please let me know!
Still calling my representatives even though I haven't actually spoken to a single person. I hope they're listening to the voicemails, but who knows?
Hope you all enjoy your weekends and that your rage is more motivating than disheartening!
I went to NYC on a very last minute trip a few years ago, so I don't think I got the best experience, but please report back with everything you loved!!!
I will! I've been there a couple of times, but it was always with a big group of college kids, so this is the first time I'm actually getting to decide what I want to do!
I always recommend Ellen's Stardust Diner to everyone who goes to NYC. It's a great little greasy spoon-style diner where the waitstaff---all Broadway hopefuls--sings periodically during their shifts. My visit there still has one of the best versions of "Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke that I've ever heard.
Ahhhhhh I cannot wait to hear about NYC! I have a big huge list of places I want to try, but The Smith Midtown has my favorite breakfast and brunch with the most addictive home fries in the world, and it doesn’t hurt that it’s walking distance from the hostel I usually stay at. Flex Mussels has delicious mussels with many different broths and it’s a few blocks away from the Met. For dinner, I’d recommend Butter, especially if you’re going to a Broadway show as it’s a classy restaurant in TSQ, what an anomaly! I am museum girl and I am always on the hunt for something new to explore on that end. HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!!
I’d suggest getting a basic-ish broth to start and make sure you get fries so you can dip in the broth! I love the classic white wine garlic butter broth and the Parmesan broth! 🤤
The Tressie McMillam Cotton link doesn't work.
As for Treasures:
- I CUT MY HAIR! chopped it officially shorter than it's been since I was a baby. Originally I was going to shave it all off (for mourning/starting over reasons) but I got into my hair stylist & realized I need to keep some hair in reserves just in case June brings something horrible again & I need to go shorter as a giant FU to a universe that so often feels like it doesn't care. So it's a cute pixie I'm still trying to figure out which products work well with. But the joy of not having the length is magic.
- My husband complimented me on making dinner out of nothing. We're still trying to get our mortgage application completed so money is kinda tighter than either of us loves, but I have a weird sense of accomplishment (and grief - they are intertwined a lot these days) over how being 'long time poor' equipped me to be frugal.
Turds:
- I'm behind at work. A lot. And I can't stop stressing over it. Which makes things take longer than anticipated because I'm expending energy trying to not retraumatize my nervous system but also accomplish things.
- I'm not talking to either of my parents right now. Chaos in the family has meant for my own sanity I had to step away in order to not perpetuate/endorse dysfunction and I wish it could be different.
As someone who has fantasized about shaving her head for over 20 years, I loved reading about your haircut. I mostly want to do it when I'm angry with my hair (it's falling out because of some health issues) but I felt the shaving it off as "a giant FU to a universe that so often feels like it doesn't care" in my bones! And I love that you love your pixie. Good luck finding the right products!
Family is so hard. Currently going through a non-talking stage with an in-law. It's hard. I miss them. I'm hurt by them. They (extremelt unintentionally) feel hurt by my husband. He's sad. We want not to care because there are so many other things going on. It's kind of nice to not talk to them for a minute? All of the things at once. Hope your mortgage app gets taken care of swiftly and you have money to spare. ❤
All of the things at once is an excellent descriptor. Thanks for empathizing ❤
Happy Friday everyone! I'm officially on summer break so for the first time in forever, I'm not a week behind at reading this email or your comments. It's delightful!
Turds:
- My fiance got COVID and since he has to take an immunosuppresant, the first two days were rough for him. I had been sick the previous week but since it followed my normal sickness routine of a sore throat, cold, and tiredness, it wasn't till he had all the other symptoms that we realized I probably gave him COVID...Whoops.
- St Louis has entered its classic summer weather, hot topped with excessive humidity. I went for a run and had to walk several times but then that night was cold sitting outside. Totally makes sense.
Treasures:
- Summer break! I've been reading, watching TV, and playing some video games.
- I sent out the Save the Dates for our wedding so it's crazy how real this is becoming. All the big things are scheduled and I've been relaxing this week with the intention of working on all the little things starting next week.
- The biggest treasure: I bought a bike. Mine was stolen during quarantine which was annoying but ok because it was awful. So yesterday, I went to a local bike shop that is sustainable and gives back to the community and bought the first bike they recommended! I already went on a ride yesterday and have been pestering my fiance to get his from his parents so we can ride together.
Looking forward to a great summer and hopefully getting to participate in these comments more!
oh no!! sorry about covid. Hope you both recover with ease.
Yay for your bike! You sound super happy about it & that's awesome :)
That bike shop sounds amazing! Sorry about your fiance - covid is no joke.
The comment about bedtime being rage "I love you"s sent me because my 2yo twins insist that I also include the following valedictions before I exit their room:
Goodnight
Goodbye
See you later
Sleep tight
Have a good weekend
😂😂😂😂😂
Is the "have a good weekend" part every night, or just on the weekends?
Every night 😆
Incredible.
Oh, also I have not commented here in months, but I am reading Legendborn by Tracy Deonn and it is fabulous!! Sort of Hunger Games-y but set in our world on the campus of UNC with a Black protagonist trying to understand her mom's death and her sudden magical powers that might be related to a secret society of teen/college aged magic users deriving their power from King Arthur, but might also be related to something a little closer to home... can't wait to see how it ends!
Oh, cool. I’ll have to check that one out.
Happy Friday, y'all! Things are hectic here. The fifteen year old leaves for five weeks of working at summer camp tomorrow, and we are all feeling all the feels. Super exciting, and also a little nerve wracking! Mostly not sure how the two twelve year olds will keep from killing each other without their peacemaker big sister there to distract and diffuse.
It rained and was cloudy for a solid 18 hours here in Denver this week, and I was so happy. I've been plowing through novels lately, and drinking tea. Never, by Ken Follett. Later, by Stephen King. The Shadow Sister, by Lucinda Riley. The Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz. And nonfiction! The Lazy Genius Kitchen by Kendra Adachi. Rethinking Sex by Christina Emba. Swans by Mary Oliver. It's been a good reading month.
Have the best weekend available to you, friends!
RIGHT? In Utah, so we got similar weather & the storms right after those couple of days that were 'unseasonably' hot felt like the best gift!
I've enjoyed LGK, except there's a recurring typo that makes me crazy every few pages. #onceaneditoralwaysaneditor Rethinking Sex has been a super refreshing perspective, especially with three adolescents in my house - it articulates a lot of what I value about intimacy and commitment, so I feel like I can have better conversations with them about sex than I could have six months ago.
Well, in the interest of full disclosure, my editing experience consists of three years on the college newspaper, and I graduated in 1998. I looked into freelancing as a copy editor, but never had the time to pursue it. That being said, I think there's a huge market for good editing, based on the typos I see in all kinds of print media. Convincing writers/content creators that they need someone to tighten and polish their material seems tricky to me though. I will say that the more experience you can get, the easier it will be - the editing rules I learned in college have stayed with me, for the most part, and make it simple to tighten and clarify a piece of writing. I'd recommend either working for one of your college's publications or as a writing "consultant" for classmates who want to turn in a good paper. My college had a formal Writing Center staffed by students where people could get that kind of help. And read! Read style manuals and books about language, and novels by authors whose style you admire. Dissect their paragraphs and sentence structure and themes do you can figure out how they put their words together and why it works so well.
It has been a week! My aunt is coming to live with us at the end of June, due to health issues so I’m house hunting again for a bigger place so we can all have some space but it has been a search and offers and just a process. So if you pray please pray that we will find something that will work for us and that our offer will be accepted.
Treasures: i took last Friday off and spent the weekend in Greenville SC and had the best time hanging around downtown and eating delicious food it was just what I needed.
Have friends in town this weekend so that will be fun to catch up
And got a lake house booked for my dads 70th birthday celebration this summer that includes a canoe so I’m looking forward to that later this summer.
Definitely praying for you - adequate housing is such a fraught thing in the best of times let alone right now.
Excited you've got good things to look forward to though!
My biggest treasure is friends telling me they’re still (or for the first time!) calling their reps.
Lastnight we had one of our last trips to Disneyland and met friends and stayed out way too late- but we ate all the things, had some character magic and it was the perfect mini escape for my brain.
Packing is coming along and I think I’m in a good place for our move in 24 days. But we’ve had some difficult moments with my mom this week and navigating how to keep a person safe who doesn’t know(remember) she has dementia is real hard. Trying to honor her dignity and independence when she doesn’t understand why we don’t want her to travel alone is 😞😭 idk.
Sending you so much love - navigating dementia care is so full of emotion & the thing that weirdly gives me comfort (in the past, not currently caring for someone who is) is reminding myself over and over again - this wouldn't be so difficult if I didn't care so much.
Y'all, I am tired! My mom has been here since 5/27 and doesn't leave until 6/6 living with another person is hard all her routines are different than mine. This is probably the most time we've spent together since the pandemic and it's been a challenge to find things to talk about she's been very quick to anger with things I don't understand and it's just off-putting. I'm hoping this weekend goes well and the bright and early Monday she's on her way home! Overall though it's been helpful in seeing some holes in our relationship that I thought I only had with my dad, so ya know more stuff for my therapist 😭😭
Treasures:
I handlettered a window and work with our new summer hours which was fun and the patrons that saw me working on it were very sweet about it.
I spent most of Monday sewing and finished my newest outfit. I've never worked over the summer as an adult, so I'm still trying to figure out what to wear esp since most of my previous spring/summer professional clothes don't fit. Suggestions welcome!!
I finished the new Simone St. James on audio these week and it was so good! She's writes great ghost stories that are just the right amount of spooky for me!
We're going to Fiddler on the Roof in Charlotte tomorrow and then dinner at Tupelo Honey which should be delightful.
See you in the comments, friends!
I've never had a job where I couldn't wear jeans or scrubs, so "professional clothes" is a foreign concept to me. However, this summer I have embraced my inner middle-aged divorcee via linen (blends, since actual linen is $$). Old Navy has some pants (with robust pockets) that I really like, and I got another pair from Amazon that are pretty good too. For my money, linen pants are just as comfortable as shorts in the summer, and sometimes even more so.
I just heard about these Old Navy linen pants on the Gee Thanks podcast! They seem to be really great! :)
Oooo! I'll have to go check out Simone St. James - haven't read her before now. I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to scary stories 😆
I'm kind of a wimp to, but I've read three of hers and really enjoyed them!
That run on sentence in your first paragraph - I feel like I could have written that, lol
Hope June 6th comes quickly for you! That's our anniversary, so I will be sending "get here fast" vibes your way for you!
I saw your picture of the window on IG, but I didn't know you handlettered it! It looks amazing!
Thanks!
Work clothes, dresses are easy and then just a blazer over if your library runs cold. Eat a fried green tomato for me at Tupelo Honey!
My suggestions for work clothes are to find something comfy but professional and get it in every color. I fully believe in having a work uniform, it makes things so much easier!
So jeal of Fiddler on the Roof! Have fun!
I would start with an elastic waist skirt or a simple dress that goes over the head. Butterick 6317, could be a good one. Don't start with zippers or stretch fabric!
Good morning, everyone! Hope you've had the best week possible. I've been MIA the last two weeks since two weekends ago was my 39th birthday and last weekend was our 2nd anniversary. Lots of celebrating around here, which is one of my big treasures. Other treasures include:
(1) Reading Sara Bareilles' memoir "Sounds Like Me" in an afternoon. I'm not one for celebrity memoirs, but I appreciate that she seems to be someone looking for growth---she could have just stayed in the "making albums" lane and been really successful, but she wrote a Broadway show and is doing Girls5Eva (comedy on Peacock). She also struggles with anxiety and an eating disorder, which felt like it could be a connection. Overall, I give it 5/5 stars and will likely read it again at some point.
(2) My front yard garden has ACTUAL FLOWERS, which means it doesn't just look like we mulched our front yard as a middle finger to lawns in general.
(3) This article from The Atlantic has made my head spin since I read it on Wednesday. I have literally read it 4-5 times, texted it to anyone in my life who likes to think deep thoughts, and can't stop thinking about it. My husband pointed out that it doesn't really say anything that most of us don't already know about how tech is changing our lives, but I found the way it was written plus some of the deeper implications to be really important. It's thick reading but worth your time: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/12/ai-ad-technology-singularity/620521/
That's all for today. Hope your weekends provide some rest and rejuvenation. <3
I didn't know Sara Bareilles had a memoir out! I love her so much.
Hooray for actual flowers and lovely things to celebrate!
I'm so glad you've had so many wonderful things to celebrate!
Oh, that bedtime tweet? It me, y’all. Mama just wants to go read by herself without anyone touching her YES I LOVE YOU PLEASE GO TO SLEEP.
Treasures
1. Being off social media 90% of the week
2. Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers movie (I laughed way, way more than my kids did.) 🐿
3. Obi-Won Kenobi series (anybody else keep hoping more characters from “Rebels” will show up? Just me? Okay then…) 🪐
4. Dino Days at the Topeka Zoo with my boys (exceeded my expectations) 🦖
5. Limiting my news intake to The Pour Over https://ref.thepourover.org/fdd19584 📰
6. A stray cat, who I named Waffles, has adopted us as his own. He is skittish, never comes inside, but we watch him do his thing and feed him occasionally. It’s the best “pet” situation ever. 🐈
Hope everyone has a marvelous weekend!
I love that you named him Waffles 😂
TGIF!!!!
Y’all, my big interview is today at 1pm CST. If you can say a prayer for me I would really appreciate it. I’m nervous and starting to feel scared.
These 2 playlists have really been getting me through lately. If you are a fan of music from the 90s/00s you will be pleased:
Elder Millennial Dance Team: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0hFIDoyMDJH9GZud407ppo?si=sCLYk4EHQCWtFrhzSD0K7w
Millennial Time Machine: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4hR4q3WLm2XtSfBkjWkrxp?si=lEDOp43zQVm-3S6TZ8tZkQ
Okay that’s it. I hope everyone has the best day and I can’t wait to catch up in the comments <3
Hope the interview went well!! And thanks for the playlist reccs - added them to my favorites :)
Thank you 💗
Good luck!!! Deep breaths for the next thirty minutes. Let us know how it goes!
Thank you 💗 it went well! Hopefully I’ll know something soon!
Good luck on your interview!
Thank you 💗
Good luck on your interview! You got this!
Thank you!
Good luck on your interview, and elder millennial dance team is now going to be on repeat!
Thank you 💗
You had me at Elder Millennial Dance Team. 💃🏻
Good luck at your interview, Lauren! I will encourage you the same way I do my SAT/ACT tutoring students---being scared is okay and normal, but just keep reminding yourself of the toolbox of strategies you've got. You can do this! I said a prayer for you this morning!
Thank you 💗
I subscribed to Matthew Pierce's emails after Erin shared him a couple of weeks ago and today's email about Modest Bathing suits for women had me CACKLING. Enjoy it here: https://mpierce.substack.com/p/summer-swimsuit-guide-for-christian?r=1z55r&s=r&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
I joined you in the cackling 😂 excellently done
Here’s a link to the New Yorker article. 😘https://apple.news/AbU0NZzHzS0Sc7WbvlAMDPA
happy friday! I have got some treasures:
🧑🏼🌾 This Saturday is the first summer farmers market of the year - it’s the first one back to full capacity since Covid. There will be over 300 vendors and I can’t wait to get tasty bread and goat cheese chèvre and fresh produce!
🍪 I am baking these brown butter pecan blondies this weekend for the first official edition of my newsletter and I cannot wait. They’re gooey and delicious. https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/gooey-brown-butter-blondies-with-pecans
🍫 Amanda Soltoff sent me some peanut butter fudge from Michigan, and I sobbed when I opened the package. It felt like she had sent me a little bit of hope and a lot of home to me. Nothing quite like michigan fudge.
some turds:
👨 my husband’s work passed him up for a promotion…. again. This is the second time he’s been passed up for this specific position, but like the tenth time he’s been turned down for a new position at all in the last eighteen months. It’s hard. I am hoping he will get back up on his feet and try to find a new company to work for. His confidence is a little broken.
👨 Camping last week was meh and I truly don’t know why I went. I am an indoor girly. An air conditioned girly. a running water girly. Yeesh.
annie f downs promoting john crist on her IG was so disappointing to me. so many women that he abused are stating that he never apologized to them, and I know a lot of his humor is still belittling and misogynistic. I looked up to annie a lot - and now I have lost trust in her. she’s written some things that have been a lifeline for me in really hard times.
I very easily and very quickly will put people on such a high pedestal. I am trying to be better about it but man, it’s so disappointing to be let down by people you really admire.
anyway. happy friday. I hope everyone gets to go to a wonderful farmers market this weekend. ♥️
I hope there’s no more camping in your summer! I don’t follow Annie but I’ve had friends share his stuff again and just...it’s so disappointing. Do they just not see how these things are related?
Thank you. That’s my question!
The first day of our farmer's market was so exciting! It was great to be back and I look forward to going a lot this summer.
As for the AFD post, I agree it was vague and a little tough because it's hard for me to see the reason behind supporting someone who has been known to publicly hurt women. I like you, trust Annie in a lot of ways and usually trust her discernment. I'm trying to remember there's a lot behind the scenes that I don't know; she's good friends with his sister and therefore has a bigger perspective than what I know from the news. So I'm trying to believe she thinks what she's doing is the best choice for her and her friends. She doesn't want to hide that she's friends I guess. We'd also have a problem with that.
However, I think you're right about putting people on a pedestal. And I think this is a good reminder for me about hearing and learning from multiple voices and perspectives online and in my real life, especially about my faith. Just like we shouldn't be only listening to everything Annie says, we can't listen only to everything Erin says. Or our pastor says. This sort of thing helps me remember that I can think and make decisions about topics myself, despite what the people I respect on the internet think.
I have assumed she was still friends with him, based on her silence about what happened. I believe she is a good friend to him, I don't doubt that. It is just hard to ignore the deafening comments of people asking for her to acknowledge that he has hurt victims, and she's just been silent. It's disheartening, and was sad to see on my IG feed.
I agree with you that we need to remember that we can make decisions ourselves. Just is hard!
I don't follow AFD, so I don't know what her posts are normally like, but the caption did seem weird and vague. It really sucks, though.
HOWEVER, I made those blondies last week (without the pecans, don't hate me!) and they are maybe the best thing I've ever put in my mouth? They're incredible and I'm obsessed, so thank you for sharing them!
The blondies are life-changing. Also WHY NO PECANS MELANIE?? Jk. You can make them without pecans and still appreciate them. :)
Farmers markets are the best! And I’m indoors girl too, I love my air conditioning!
And I agree it is hard when someone you look up to disappoint you. And that post was very strange
VERY strange.
AC is a gift from the Lord himself.
Ugh x1000 re Annie. Not cool😑
“Ugh” describes my feelings best.
Our Farmers Market is coming back this Saturday, too! Although we will only have around 20-30 vendors, I am still pumped! Have fun!
I am so lucky to have such a large farmers market. It’s amazing.
Have the best time at the farmers market and please eat some fresh, tasty bread for me too!
Yay for farmers' markets, they are such a delight!
I was really surprised by Annie's post as well! I go back and forth with her, there's a lot I appreciate in the work she does, but also plenty that I disagree with. John needs good Christian friends that will hold him accountable, but I wish this was a moment she'd just kept private.
Her caption was weird, and yes - I think John needs good friends to keep him accountable. I also think that accountability, for him, would look like no longer allowing him to have the platform that led to so much abuse. I have appreciated so much - A&E Keep Talking was something I clung to in 2020. But I think that at this point right now I am just taking a step back from Annie at all, which is unfortunate.
Have you noticed that like christian influencers/celebrities/whatever you wanna call them will like post something that is SO VAGUE and non descriptive and it makes no sense? I don’t get it
The caption was so weird!
Shelby, this is why we should only put animals and foods on pedestals 😉 Seriously though, you’re not the only person I’ve seen disappointed over that post ❤️
From now on, it’s goat cheese and horses on pedestals ONLY.
I was super disappointed when AFD promoted a "wellness guru" (not even sure he was a real doctor) on her podcast, too. Something that helped me was to remember that she is just a normal person who is doing her best, and her internet space is hers to do with as she chooses. My responsibility is to remember that people can be two things at once: they can be amazing writers who give us nuggets of truth to get through hard times AND ALSO they can be interested in people/ideas that I don't agree with. I'm sorry you're feeling disappointed, though. That's hard when someone has been a lifeline for you.
Thanks for writing this - keeping this vague, but a few years ago I was recommended a book by a friend whose recommendations are normally perfect for me. This book had a forward by an author who I really liked at the time (but have also pivoted from since). The topic was one I was really interested in and had some personal experience with, and some of the conclusions the author reached are somewhat unique, challenging and useful ideas in certain Christian spaces. But I HATED this book. Hated it. Maybe have never hated a book more; there was a lot of unrecognized white privilege on just about every page. Then in the last few months I saw that Erin & this author are friends. It made me feel awful, because I realized I had forgotten that this author is a real person probably just doing their best. I could have benefitted from reading your comment ^ at the time that I had read this book! :)
It isn’t that I don’t think she can be friends with him, it’s that JC has credible abuse allegations and all he’s done is joke about “cancel culture” and a lot of women he was a predator toward still have not received an apology. It was just a bit of whiplash after she lamented the SBC abuse on twitter. It also feels like I am maybe putting too much pressure on her as a lifeline for me to remember christian’s aren’t all terrible? And that’s my own cross to bear but man. Just a bummer.
Ah, okay. The predator factor feels perhaps a little different than just someone selling snake-oil ideas about health. I can see why that would be very upsetting. :( I hope that you're able to find some peace about it, whatever that means for you. Loss of trust is a really hard thing to grieve.
Don’t get me wrong, snake-oil ideas is weird too. 😂 But thank you - I hadn’t realized how much hope I had carried in her. And that’s on me! So I’m just re-evaluating how I think about people in prominent positions like her. Tough way to start the weekend!
"So I’m just re-evaluating how I think about people in prominent positions like her" Yes! Just prominent Christians in general. I've really been thinking about this recently and trying to figure out how I can shift and learn more from local church pastors who are loving their congregations well.
Yes. I have a hard time with that, too! Living in Utah means the pond of non-LDS leaders is small and if I don’t know someone directly, I know someone who does. And the hurt and abuse that has been caused in UT is not dissimilar to the SBC, if maybe not as many sexual abuse allegations as much as financial/emotional abuse.
Re: camping, you like what you like and that’s okay! I hope you enjoy all the tasty bread and goat cheese! Speaking of which, that sounds really good. 🥰
it really is!!
I think the New Yorker link isn’t right. It leads to the Slant newsletter.
Appreciate seeing the Swipe Up in my mailbox every Friday!
Ah, thank you Darcy! So sorry. It is fixed now.
Good morning from... VACATION. 🙌🏻 It’s actually happening! My sisters (henceforth known as the Cinderella sisters, thanks to Jenny T 😂) managed to give me a cobbled together string of days that more or less amount to a week. There’s a single night where one sister was unwilling to change her (non-essential) plans 🤨 so I’ll have to be on hand for my mom, but Mom decided to join me instead of making me return home in the middle of my time away. It’s not perfect, but it’s what I could get.
I’m using these days as a personal retreat, a chance to rest and read and do some deep work alongside creative activities. The amount of books and tech I brought with me is ridiculous! I’m also planning a few binge watches, and there will be a shameful amount of rich foods and unhealthy snacks. Heaven. 😊
I’m only an hour away from home, should anything arise, but I booked a hotel suite on a high floor with all the city sounds and the sunrise outside my window, and it’s exactly what I needed. Today will be lazy — a chance to release all the adrenaline from a full week of writing aaaalllll the caregiving notes for my sisters and thinking about every tiny aspect of living with our mom. I’m exhausted from just prepping to get here! But so very thankful that it’s all working out. Thanks to everyone who kept me hopeful and acknowledged the challenges I faced to make this finally happen. I needed all that encouragement! Wishing you all a lovely summer.
I am shocked they actually made it happen, and so happy for you. Enjoy your time off!
Shocked. You and me both!
Yay, Jules! I’m so glad for you to finally get a well-deserved retreat. I hope it’s fun and calm and refreshing.
Ahh, I'm so happy you're getting a vacation! I hope you're able to do all the things you find relaxing!
I’m so glad you are getting a break and some rest!
Jules, I'm so so happy for your vacation! You deserve it! I'm praying you will be left alone to do whatever you want with no interruptions!
Oh yay, I'm so happy for you. Have the best time and enjoy all the snacks!
Jules, I'm so glad you've been able to get some time away! You've handled this situation with such kindness putting your mom's needs first and making sure she's cared for. I absolutely would have just dipped and made my siblings figure it out on their own. I hope your vacation is restful and energizing!
Oh, I definitely wanted to just walk out the door and leave it all for them to figure out! Ultimately I let grace remind me that for the past 3 years my j-o-b has been my mom’s care and I want her to be as comfortable as possible. The selfish part also didn’t want to listen afterward to how they f-ed up everything. 🫠
Well done on actually making it happen! Getting out the door can be the hardest part.
Everything Shelby said! 💕
May your vacation be restful, full of good food, and leave you feeling energized. You deserve it, in fact you deserve a six month vacation, but a week is a good start. ♥️
Hi friends!
📚 Summer Reading is in full swing at the library, and I am loving it but also v tired! We get to give every single kid under 19 a free book and it's the best thing ever!
🏙 We're going to NYC in a couple of weeks, and we'll be there on my birthday! If you have any restaurant or other recommendations, please let me know!
Still calling my representatives even though I haven't actually spoken to a single person. I hope they're listening to the voicemails, but who knows?
Hope you all enjoy your weekends and that your rage is more motivating than disheartening!
I went to NYC on a very last minute trip a few years ago, so I don't think I got the best experience, but please report back with everything you loved!!!
I will! I've been there a couple of times, but it was always with a big group of college kids, so this is the first time I'm actually getting to decide what I want to do!
NYC: frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity 3 😋
Ahh, that sounds so good!
I always recommend Ellen's Stardust Diner to everyone who goes to NYC. It's a great little greasy spoon-style diner where the waitstaff---all Broadway hopefuls--sings periodically during their shifts. My visit there still has one of the best versions of "Chain Gang" by Sam Cooke that I've ever heard.
Oh my gosh, that sounds so fun!
Ahhhhhh I cannot wait to hear about NYC! I have a big huge list of places I want to try, but The Smith Midtown has my favorite breakfast and brunch with the most addictive home fries in the world, and it doesn’t hurt that it’s walking distance from the hostel I usually stay at. Flex Mussels has delicious mussels with many different broths and it’s a few blocks away from the Met. For dinner, I’d recommend Butter, especially if you’re going to a Broadway show as it’s a classy restaurant in TSQ, what an anomaly! I am museum girl and I am always on the hunt for something new to explore on that end. HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!!!
Oohh, those all sound so good, thank you! I've never tried mussels before, but maybe now's the time?
I’d suggest getting a basic-ish broth to start and make sure you get fries so you can dip in the broth! I love the classic white wine garlic butter broth and the Parmesan broth! 🤤
Melanie!! I need to send you my recs. So excited for you to go to NYC!
Yesss, please do! I can't wait!