Hello everyone! I have been in a strange space this week. I go from being motivated to angsty to sad all in the space of about 5 minutes. The weather here has been gorgeous, however, and I am so thankful for that. I am also thankful that I can send in my absentee ballot.
Treasures:
-We are getting an outdoor sofa and I'm ridiculously excited about it. I'm already dreaming about how I want to add in some plants and other decorations. We live in the Midwest, so wind and weather are a factor in decorating but I'm up for recommendations!
-Reading has been a grounding experience for me this year. My current reads are The Lazy Genius Kitchen by Kendra Adachi, This Here Flesh by Cole Arthur Riley, and In the Sanctuary of Women by Jan L. Richardson.
-Elizabeth Holmes' IG stories about the Queen's Jubilee were exactly what my exhausted heart needed.
-Walking and biking for the Trevor Project has been a motivation to get outside and I feel so much better after being out.
Have the best weekend available to you, everyone! Thanks for being a safe space to land.
- I CUT MY HAIR! chopped it officially shorter than it's been since I was a baby. Originally I was going to shave it all off (for mourning/starting over reasons) but I got into my hair stylist & realized I need to keep some hair in reserves just in case June brings something horrible again & I need to go shorter as a giant FU to a universe that so often feels like it doesn't care. So it's a cute pixie I'm still trying to figure out which products work well with. But the joy of not having the length is magic.
- My husband complimented me on making dinner out of nothing. We're still trying to get our mortgage application completed so money is kinda tighter than either of us loves, but I have a weird sense of accomplishment (and grief - they are intertwined a lot these days) over how being 'long time poor' equipped me to be frugal.
Turds:
- I'm behind at work. A lot. And I can't stop stressing over it. Which makes things take longer than anticipated because I'm expending energy trying to not retraumatize my nervous system but also accomplish things.
- I'm not talking to either of my parents right now. Chaos in the family has meant for my own sanity I had to step away in order to not perpetuate/endorse dysfunction and I wish it could be different.
Happy Friday everyone! I'm officially on summer break so for the first time in forever, I'm not a week behind at reading this email or your comments. It's delightful!
Turds:
- My fiance got COVID and since he has to take an immunosuppresant, the first two days were rough for him. I had been sick the previous week but since it followed my normal sickness routine of a sore throat, cold, and tiredness, it wasn't till he had all the other symptoms that we realized I probably gave him COVID...Whoops.
- St Louis has entered its classic summer weather, hot topped with excessive humidity. I went for a run and had to walk several times but then that night was cold sitting outside. Totally makes sense.
Treasures:
- Summer break! I've been reading, watching TV, and playing some video games.
- I sent out the Save the Dates for our wedding so it's crazy how real this is becoming. All the big things are scheduled and I've been relaxing this week with the intention of working on all the little things starting next week.
- The biggest treasure: I bought a bike. Mine was stolen during quarantine which was annoying but ok because it was awful. So yesterday, I went to a local bike shop that is sustainable and gives back to the community and bought the first bike they recommended! I already went on a ride yesterday and have been pestering my fiance to get his from his parents so we can ride together.
Looking forward to a great summer and hopefully getting to participate in these comments more!
The comment about bedtime being rage "I love you"s sent me because my 2yo twins insist that I also include the following valedictions before I exit their room:
Happy Friday, y'all! Things are hectic here. The fifteen year old leaves for five weeks of working at summer camp tomorrow, and we are all feeling all the feels. Super exciting, and also a little nerve wracking! Mostly not sure how the two twelve year olds will keep from killing each other without their peacemaker big sister there to distract and diffuse.
It rained and was cloudy for a solid 18 hours here in Denver this week, and I was so happy. I've been plowing through novels lately, and drinking tea. Never, by Ken Follett. Later, by Stephen King. The Shadow Sister, by Lucinda Riley. The Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz. And nonfiction! The Lazy Genius Kitchen by Kendra Adachi. Rethinking Sex by Christina Emba. Swans by Mary Oliver. It's been a good reading month.
It has been a week! My aunt is coming to live with us at the end of June, due to health issues so I’m house hunting again for a bigger place so we can all have some space but it has been a search and offers and just a process. So if you pray please pray that we will find something that will work for us and that our offer will be accepted.
Treasures: i took last Friday off and spent the weekend in Greenville SC and had the best time hanging around downtown and eating delicious food it was just what I needed.
Have friends in town this weekend so that will be fun to catch up
And got a lake house booked for my dads 70th birthday celebration this summer that includes a canoe so I’m looking forward to that later this summer.
My biggest treasure is friends telling me they’re still (or for the first time!) calling their reps.
Lastnight we had one of our last trips to Disneyland and met friends and stayed out way too late- but we ate all the things, had some character magic and it was the perfect mini escape for my brain.
Packing is coming along and I think I’m in a good place for our move in 24 days. But we’ve had some difficult moments with my mom this week and navigating how to keep a person safe who doesn’t know(remember) she has dementia is real hard. Trying to honor her dignity and independence when she doesn’t understand why we don’t want her to travel alone is 😞😭 idk.
Y'all, I am tired! My mom has been here since 5/27 and doesn't leave until 6/6 living with another person is hard all her routines are different than mine. This is probably the most time we've spent together since the pandemic and it's been a challenge to find things to talk about she's been very quick to anger with things I don't understand and it's just off-putting. I'm hoping this weekend goes well and the bright and early Monday she's on her way home! Overall though it's been helpful in seeing some holes in our relationship that I thought I only had with my dad, so ya know more stuff for my therapist 😭😭
Treasures:
I handlettered a window and work with our new summer hours which was fun and the patrons that saw me working on it were very sweet about it.
I spent most of Monday sewing and finished my newest outfit. I've never worked over the summer as an adult, so I'm still trying to figure out what to wear esp since most of my previous spring/summer professional clothes don't fit. Suggestions welcome!!
I finished the new Simone St. James on audio these week and it was so good! She's writes great ghost stories that are just the right amount of spooky for me!
We're going to Fiddler on the Roof in Charlotte tomorrow and then dinner at Tupelo Honey which should be delightful.
Good morning, everyone! Hope you've had the best week possible. I've been MIA the last two weeks since two weekends ago was my 39th birthday and last weekend was our 2nd anniversary. Lots of celebrating around here, which is one of my big treasures. Other treasures include:
(1) Reading Sara Bareilles' memoir "Sounds Like Me" in an afternoon. I'm not one for celebrity memoirs, but I appreciate that she seems to be someone looking for growth---she could have just stayed in the "making albums" lane and been really successful, but she wrote a Broadway show and is doing Girls5Eva (comedy on Peacock). She also struggles with anxiety and an eating disorder, which felt like it could be a connection. Overall, I give it 5/5 stars and will likely read it again at some point.
(2) My front yard garden has ACTUAL FLOWERS, which means it doesn't just look like we mulched our front yard as a middle finger to lawns in general.
(3) This article from The Atlantic has made my head spin since I read it on Wednesday. I have literally read it 4-5 times, texted it to anyone in my life who likes to think deep thoughts, and can't stop thinking about it. My husband pointed out that it doesn't really say anything that most of us don't already know about how tech is changing our lives, but I found the way it was written plus some of the deeper implications to be really important. It's thick reading but worth your time: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/12/ai-ad-technology-singularity/620521/
That's all for today. Hope your weekends provide some rest and rejuvenation. <3
6. A stray cat, who I named Waffles, has adopted us as his own. He is skittish, never comes inside, but we watch him do his thing and feed him occasionally. It’s the best “pet” situation ever. 🐈
🧑🏼🌾 This Saturday is the first summer farmers market of the year - it’s the first one back to full capacity since Covid. There will be over 300 vendors and I can’t wait to get tasty bread and goat cheese chèvre and fresh produce!
🍫 Amanda Soltoff sent me some peanut butter fudge from Michigan, and I sobbed when I opened the package. It felt like she had sent me a little bit of hope and a lot of home to me. Nothing quite like michigan fudge.
some turds:
👨 my husband’s work passed him up for a promotion…. again. This is the second time he’s been passed up for this specific position, but like the tenth time he’s been turned down for a new position at all in the last eighteen months. It’s hard. I am hoping he will get back up on his feet and try to find a new company to work for. His confidence is a little broken.
👨 Camping last week was meh and I truly don’t know why I went. I am an indoor girly. An air conditioned girly. a running water girly. Yeesh.
annie f downs promoting john crist on her IG was so disappointing to me. so many women that he abused are stating that he never apologized to them, and I know a lot of his humor is still belittling and misogynistic. I looked up to annie a lot - and now I have lost trust in her. she’s written some things that have been a lifeline for me in really hard times.
I very easily and very quickly will put people on such a high pedestal. I am trying to be better about it but man, it’s so disappointing to be let down by people you really admire.
anyway. happy friday. I hope everyone gets to go to a wonderful farmers market this weekend. ♥️
Good morning from... VACATION. 🙌🏻 It’s actually happening! My sisters (henceforth known as the Cinderella sisters, thanks to Jenny T 😂) managed to give me a cobbled together string of days that more or less amount to a week. There’s a single night where one sister was unwilling to change her (non-essential) plans 🤨 so I’ll have to be on hand for my mom, but Mom decided to join me instead of making me return home in the middle of my time away. It’s not perfect, but it’s what I could get.
I’m using these days as a personal retreat, a chance to rest and read and do some deep work alongside creative activities. The amount of books and tech I brought with me is ridiculous! I’m also planning a few binge watches, and there will be a shameful amount of rich foods and unhealthy snacks. Heaven. 😊
I’m only an hour away from home, should anything arise, but I booked a hotel suite on a high floor with all the city sounds and the sunrise outside my window, and it’s exactly what I needed. Today will be lazy — a chance to release all the adrenaline from a full week of writing aaaalllll the caregiving notes for my sisters and thinking about every tiny aspect of living with our mom. I’m exhausted from just prepping to get here! But so very thankful that it’s all working out. Thanks to everyone who kept me hopeful and acknowledged the challenges I faced to make this finally happen. I needed all that encouragement! Wishing you all a lovely summer.
Hello everyone! I have been in a strange space this week. I go from being motivated to angsty to sad all in the space of about 5 minutes. The weather here has been gorgeous, however, and I am so thankful for that. I am also thankful that I can send in my absentee ballot.
Treasures:
-We are getting an outdoor sofa and I'm ridiculously excited about it. I'm already dreaming about how I want to add in some plants and other decorations. We live in the Midwest, so wind and weather are a factor in decorating but I'm up for recommendations!
-Reading has been a grounding experience for me this year. My current reads are The Lazy Genius Kitchen by Kendra Adachi, This Here Flesh by Cole Arthur Riley, and In the Sanctuary of Women by Jan L. Richardson.
-Elizabeth Holmes' IG stories about the Queen's Jubilee were exactly what my exhausted heart needed.
-Walking and biking for the Trevor Project has been a motivation to get outside and I feel so much better after being out.
Have the best weekend available to you, everyone! Thanks for being a safe space to land.
The Tressie McMillam Cotton link doesn't work.
As for Treasures:
- I CUT MY HAIR! chopped it officially shorter than it's been since I was a baby. Originally I was going to shave it all off (for mourning/starting over reasons) but I got into my hair stylist & realized I need to keep some hair in reserves just in case June brings something horrible again & I need to go shorter as a giant FU to a universe that so often feels like it doesn't care. So it's a cute pixie I'm still trying to figure out which products work well with. But the joy of not having the length is magic.
- My husband complimented me on making dinner out of nothing. We're still trying to get our mortgage application completed so money is kinda tighter than either of us loves, but I have a weird sense of accomplishment (and grief - they are intertwined a lot these days) over how being 'long time poor' equipped me to be frugal.
Turds:
- I'm behind at work. A lot. And I can't stop stressing over it. Which makes things take longer than anticipated because I'm expending energy trying to not retraumatize my nervous system but also accomplish things.
- I'm not talking to either of my parents right now. Chaos in the family has meant for my own sanity I had to step away in order to not perpetuate/endorse dysfunction and I wish it could be different.
Happy Friday everyone! I'm officially on summer break so for the first time in forever, I'm not a week behind at reading this email or your comments. It's delightful!
Turds:
- My fiance got COVID and since he has to take an immunosuppresant, the first two days were rough for him. I had been sick the previous week but since it followed my normal sickness routine of a sore throat, cold, and tiredness, it wasn't till he had all the other symptoms that we realized I probably gave him COVID...Whoops.
- St Louis has entered its classic summer weather, hot topped with excessive humidity. I went for a run and had to walk several times but then that night was cold sitting outside. Totally makes sense.
Treasures:
- Summer break! I've been reading, watching TV, and playing some video games.
- I sent out the Save the Dates for our wedding so it's crazy how real this is becoming. All the big things are scheduled and I've been relaxing this week with the intention of working on all the little things starting next week.
- The biggest treasure: I bought a bike. Mine was stolen during quarantine which was annoying but ok because it was awful. So yesterday, I went to a local bike shop that is sustainable and gives back to the community and bought the first bike they recommended! I already went on a ride yesterday and have been pestering my fiance to get his from his parents so we can ride together.
Looking forward to a great summer and hopefully getting to participate in these comments more!
The comment about bedtime being rage "I love you"s sent me because my 2yo twins insist that I also include the following valedictions before I exit their room:
Goodnight
Goodbye
See you later
Sleep tight
Have a good weekend
😂😂😂😂😂
Happy Friday, y'all! Things are hectic here. The fifteen year old leaves for five weeks of working at summer camp tomorrow, and we are all feeling all the feels. Super exciting, and also a little nerve wracking! Mostly not sure how the two twelve year olds will keep from killing each other without their peacemaker big sister there to distract and diffuse.
It rained and was cloudy for a solid 18 hours here in Denver this week, and I was so happy. I've been plowing through novels lately, and drinking tea. Never, by Ken Follett. Later, by Stephen King. The Shadow Sister, by Lucinda Riley. The Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz. And nonfiction! The Lazy Genius Kitchen by Kendra Adachi. Rethinking Sex by Christina Emba. Swans by Mary Oliver. It's been a good reading month.
Have the best weekend available to you, friends!
It has been a week! My aunt is coming to live with us at the end of June, due to health issues so I’m house hunting again for a bigger place so we can all have some space but it has been a search and offers and just a process. So if you pray please pray that we will find something that will work for us and that our offer will be accepted.
Treasures: i took last Friday off and spent the weekend in Greenville SC and had the best time hanging around downtown and eating delicious food it was just what I needed.
Have friends in town this weekend so that will be fun to catch up
And got a lake house booked for my dads 70th birthday celebration this summer that includes a canoe so I’m looking forward to that later this summer.
My biggest treasure is friends telling me they’re still (or for the first time!) calling their reps.
Lastnight we had one of our last trips to Disneyland and met friends and stayed out way too late- but we ate all the things, had some character magic and it was the perfect mini escape for my brain.
Packing is coming along and I think I’m in a good place for our move in 24 days. But we’ve had some difficult moments with my mom this week and navigating how to keep a person safe who doesn’t know(remember) she has dementia is real hard. Trying to honor her dignity and independence when she doesn’t understand why we don’t want her to travel alone is 😞😭 idk.
Y'all, I am tired! My mom has been here since 5/27 and doesn't leave until 6/6 living with another person is hard all her routines are different than mine. This is probably the most time we've spent together since the pandemic and it's been a challenge to find things to talk about she's been very quick to anger with things I don't understand and it's just off-putting. I'm hoping this weekend goes well and the bright and early Monday she's on her way home! Overall though it's been helpful in seeing some holes in our relationship that I thought I only had with my dad, so ya know more stuff for my therapist 😭😭
Treasures:
I handlettered a window and work with our new summer hours which was fun and the patrons that saw me working on it were very sweet about it.
I spent most of Monday sewing and finished my newest outfit. I've never worked over the summer as an adult, so I'm still trying to figure out what to wear esp since most of my previous spring/summer professional clothes don't fit. Suggestions welcome!!
I finished the new Simone St. James on audio these week and it was so good! She's writes great ghost stories that are just the right amount of spooky for me!
We're going to Fiddler on the Roof in Charlotte tomorrow and then dinner at Tupelo Honey which should be delightful.
See you in the comments, friends!
Good morning, everyone! Hope you've had the best week possible. I've been MIA the last two weeks since two weekends ago was my 39th birthday and last weekend was our 2nd anniversary. Lots of celebrating around here, which is one of my big treasures. Other treasures include:
(1) Reading Sara Bareilles' memoir "Sounds Like Me" in an afternoon. I'm not one for celebrity memoirs, but I appreciate that she seems to be someone looking for growth---she could have just stayed in the "making albums" lane and been really successful, but she wrote a Broadway show and is doing Girls5Eva (comedy on Peacock). She also struggles with anxiety and an eating disorder, which felt like it could be a connection. Overall, I give it 5/5 stars and will likely read it again at some point.
(2) My front yard garden has ACTUAL FLOWERS, which means it doesn't just look like we mulched our front yard as a middle finger to lawns in general.
(3) This article from The Atlantic has made my head spin since I read it on Wednesday. I have literally read it 4-5 times, texted it to anyone in my life who likes to think deep thoughts, and can't stop thinking about it. My husband pointed out that it doesn't really say anything that most of us don't already know about how tech is changing our lives, but I found the way it was written plus some of the deeper implications to be really important. It's thick reading but worth your time: https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2021/12/ai-ad-technology-singularity/620521/
That's all for today. Hope your weekends provide some rest and rejuvenation. <3
Oh, that bedtime tweet? It me, y’all. Mama just wants to go read by herself without anyone touching her YES I LOVE YOU PLEASE GO TO SLEEP.
Treasures
1. Being off social media 90% of the week
2. Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers movie (I laughed way, way more than my kids did.) 🐿
3. Obi-Won Kenobi series (anybody else keep hoping more characters from “Rebels” will show up? Just me? Okay then…) 🪐
4. Dino Days at the Topeka Zoo with my boys (exceeded my expectations) 🦖
5. Limiting my news intake to The Pour Over https://ref.thepourover.org/fdd19584 📰
6. A stray cat, who I named Waffles, has adopted us as his own. He is skittish, never comes inside, but we watch him do his thing and feed him occasionally. It’s the best “pet” situation ever. 🐈
Hope everyone has a marvelous weekend!
TGIF!!!!
Y’all, my big interview is today at 1pm CST. If you can say a prayer for me I would really appreciate it. I’m nervous and starting to feel scared.
These 2 playlists have really been getting me through lately. If you are a fan of music from the 90s/00s you will be pleased:
Elder Millennial Dance Team: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0hFIDoyMDJH9GZud407ppo?si=sCLYk4EHQCWtFrhzSD0K7w
Millennial Time Machine: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4hR4q3WLm2XtSfBkjWkrxp?si=lEDOp43zQVm-3S6TZ8tZkQ
Okay that’s it. I hope everyone has the best day and I can’t wait to catch up in the comments <3
I subscribed to Matthew Pierce's emails after Erin shared him a couple of weeks ago and today's email about Modest Bathing suits for women had me CACKLING. Enjoy it here: https://mpierce.substack.com/p/summer-swimsuit-guide-for-christian?r=1z55r&s=r&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email
Here’s a link to the New Yorker article. 😘https://apple.news/AbU0NZzHzS0Sc7WbvlAMDPA
happy friday! I have got some treasures:
🧑🏼🌾 This Saturday is the first summer farmers market of the year - it’s the first one back to full capacity since Covid. There will be over 300 vendors and I can’t wait to get tasty bread and goat cheese chèvre and fresh produce!
🍪 I am baking these brown butter pecan blondies this weekend for the first official edition of my newsletter and I cannot wait. They’re gooey and delicious. https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/gooey-brown-butter-blondies-with-pecans
🍫 Amanda Soltoff sent me some peanut butter fudge from Michigan, and I sobbed when I opened the package. It felt like she had sent me a little bit of hope and a lot of home to me. Nothing quite like michigan fudge.
some turds:
👨 my husband’s work passed him up for a promotion…. again. This is the second time he’s been passed up for this specific position, but like the tenth time he’s been turned down for a new position at all in the last eighteen months. It’s hard. I am hoping he will get back up on his feet and try to find a new company to work for. His confidence is a little broken.
👨 Camping last week was meh and I truly don’t know why I went. I am an indoor girly. An air conditioned girly. a running water girly. Yeesh.
annie f downs promoting john crist on her IG was so disappointing to me. so many women that he abused are stating that he never apologized to them, and I know a lot of his humor is still belittling and misogynistic. I looked up to annie a lot - and now I have lost trust in her. she’s written some things that have been a lifeline for me in really hard times.
I very easily and very quickly will put people on such a high pedestal. I am trying to be better about it but man, it’s so disappointing to be let down by people you really admire.
anyway. happy friday. I hope everyone gets to go to a wonderful farmers market this weekend. ♥️
I think the New Yorker link isn’t right. It leads to the Slant newsletter.
Appreciate seeing the Swipe Up in my mailbox every Friday!
Good morning from... VACATION. 🙌🏻 It’s actually happening! My sisters (henceforth known as the Cinderella sisters, thanks to Jenny T 😂) managed to give me a cobbled together string of days that more or less amount to a week. There’s a single night where one sister was unwilling to change her (non-essential) plans 🤨 so I’ll have to be on hand for my mom, but Mom decided to join me instead of making me return home in the middle of my time away. It’s not perfect, but it’s what I could get.
I’m using these days as a personal retreat, a chance to rest and read and do some deep work alongside creative activities. The amount of books and tech I brought with me is ridiculous! I’m also planning a few binge watches, and there will be a shameful amount of rich foods and unhealthy snacks. Heaven. 😊
I’m only an hour away from home, should anything arise, but I booked a hotel suite on a high floor with all the city sounds and the sunrise outside my window, and it’s exactly what I needed. Today will be lazy — a chance to release all the adrenaline from a full week of writing aaaalllll the caregiving notes for my sisters and thinking about every tiny aspect of living with our mom. I’m exhausted from just prepping to get here! But so very thankful that it’s all working out. Thanks to everyone who kept me hopeful and acknowledged the challenges I faced to make this finally happen. I needed all that encouragement! Wishing you all a lovely summer.