Friends, framily, fellow humans: I must confess something. The treasures are few this week because I am working on a project that I desperately want to share with you (AND I WILL), but I can’t yet. But I have been head down, thumbs up this past month and a half, trying to get my ducks in a row (wow lots of metaphor here today). I really hate when people are like, OH MY GOSH I AM SO EXCITED TO SHARE BUT I CAN’T SO SAD, but what’s more on-brand for 2020 than becoming what you loathe? But I feel as though I need to justify my lack of attention here (even though we’re all chill here and that’s a truly insane thing for me to feel #therapy), so that’s why I’m telling you. But I think you’re gonna like it.
But enough about that.
For now.
We’ll come back to it later.
😭 Do you need to hack your crying again this week? May I suggest this write-up on John Lewis cosplaying as his younger self and leading kids on a march around Comic-Con? Stick a fork in me because I am absolutely done.
🩸 My friend Courtney posted about @zesty_ginger on Instagram this week, and I’m an IMMEDIATE fan. Already listening to the podcast and LEARNING SO MANY THINGS about m’lady parts.
🌳 Our beloved Lily, Our Lady of the Comment Section, sent me a picture this week of the crepe myrtles she planted at her mom and dad’s graves. Some of you remember that Lily’s mom passed away this year, and for the first time since her dad’s tree was planted, it’s blooming, buoyed and delighted by the presence of her mother’s tree. Doesn’t that just thrill you? It thrills me.
And some good tweets for the weekend:
I need someone to explain why I think this is so funny because I have not stopped thinking about it:
We have a birthday next week, so if you need me, I’ll just be crying over how my oldest could possibly be turning 11 and looking at pictures like this while listening to Stop This Train:
IT’S FINE. I’M FINE.
Okay pals. I am reading your treasures and turds, and I’m trying to dip in as much as possible. But something very fun is coming down the pipeline! I hope it’s a wonderful weekend.
Hello friends! I feel like we're friends, right? This is my first time posting. <3
Treasure of the week: I have had a little bit of relief from the daily chronic pain I deal with #disabledasheck. Listening to funny podcasts at work has also been a treasure, I've been saving this week's Popcast episode for when I really need a lift.
Turd: I've been feeling pretty lonely... I don't have very many friends, and the ones I do have live far away and/or are social distancing... which I support! especially as a high risk individual! But my extroverted soul is withering away. If anyone has tips for how to make friends, I'd appreciate it! And I miiiight download a dating app this weekend but we'll see ;)
Erin, How your oldest and youngest look so much alike I'll never understand!! So adorable!
Yall, Texas is hotter than hot. I'm currently sitting outside at a coffee shop (drinking beer because hot) cause stupid covid shut down inside places even though most of us were being good humans. I'm not bitter just sweaty!
I'm currently on an almost 4 week break from my part time nanny job which means my part time church job is full force. What are some thing your church has done during lockdown that you've loved? I'd love to hear some new ideas on how to reach kids and teens!
I turned 36 in June and finally feel like I'm ready to start dating again, its been awhile! Help me, people!!!
Someone else asked about dating apps in another comment and I just gotta say, its rough out here. Although I have found one that isn't complete trash and is very Christ-centered without being super gross like Christian Mingle. It's called United Young (stupid name) and all of the questions are really intentional and you're required to write at least 50 characters worth for each answer so people can't just skimp by with one worded answers. Also, I feel like all of the cute boys on there live in Texas, which should be good for you!
My treasure this week is hiking. I've ventured out on a few over the last few weeks and I cannot express what it's done for my mental and emotional health. To be able to get out of the house, move my body, get some fresh air, and be in nature is WONDERFUL. I try out a new trail each time and today's was by far my favorite so far. Then I went for my usual post-hike peach milkshake and CFA gave me an EXTRA FRY with my meal!
My best friend is also coming over for dinner tonight. We're gonna eat pasta and bread and drink wine and fill each other in on our quarantine lives.
I have been reading these since Day 1, but I am a first time thread commenter (that's not actually a word, is it?) This is one of the highlights of my week... so thank you Erin for giving us this!
I am honestly here to ask an important question that I think every time I read the thread - should I get on dating apps? How do we feel?
I'll share some treasures and turds while I am here:
Turds:
-I have been dogsitting for nine days, and the air conditioner went out! Somehow I got tasked with talking to the landlord of a house I don't even live in... and she was rude to me!
- I am a teacher and my school district has the AUDACITY to pay teachers all 3 months of summer pay in June. I got paid in June and won't be paid again until September. It's rude of them to do that because I want to ball out with my money and am historically not a great money decision maker. I am sitting here trying to convince myself to eat the tuna I have here instead of going to grab something for lunch.
- I have an appointment with a new gynecologist on Monday. These things always stress me out. I have PCOS and was diagnosed when I was 15 so I have had to deal with them forever. My first Pap was when I was 21 and it was a traumatic experience. I have had 2 more since then and they were fine but I can never shake how bad the first one was.
Treasures:
- I got my hair done yesterday and it looks BOMB. I keep sending people pictures so they will compliment me.
- Taylor's new album came out. The line in "exile" when they say "I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending." Cuts me deep and no one (besides America and society) has broken my heart lately... yet I still feel it in my soul. Also the line, "She had a marvelous time ruining everything" needs to be tatooed on my body.
- Since it has just been me and the dog here, I have gotten to watch a lot of movies and Tik Tok... no complaints there!
In response to the dating app question: it honestly depends on what you're looking for. I have a couple apps downloaded now and while the f-boys have taken a hiatus during quarantine, meaning the response I get is not as overwhelming, any and all conversations I've had with matches have been mad dry. Dating right now is just really awkward and I think everyone is in a weird space mentally and emotionally, but if you just wanna browse and see what's out there (spoiler alert: there ain't much), then I'd say go for it!
I had one school that paid a lump sum as well. You feel like such a baller in June but come August there were tears. Not that this will help this summer but I opened an extra savings account where I put my last check, each week I paid myself my weekly pay to my checking account. It didn't always work but really helped me to keep my spending in check.
Its wild that there's such a strong through line of grief in this thread -- its almost as if we as a people are collectively grieving that which we've lost [insert: normalcy, jobs, time to ourselves, loved ones, reliable information from informed leadership] you know, the basics. I join those of you who are grieving the recent-ish loss of a parent. As a 37 yo woman, I go back and forth on the daily between "I'm actually relieved Mom is not here to have to live through this chaos" and "I just want my Mommy to make it better!" I listened to Brene Brown's podcast this week from Mar 31 - "On Grief and Finding Meaning". Its good to hear people put words to the emotions I can't identify in myself. And the expert she is talking to, David Kessler, does address this collective grief we are all going through. I wouldn't say its a rip-roaring good time, but it was good for my soul to hear.
On a related note, Brene had also recommended the Hulu show "Normal People" in another episode and I jumped on board quickly. This is based on Sally Rooney's book of the same name - true confession, I have not read the book. But I LOVE this show. Mature Audiences alert - there's a lot of sessy time, in the words of Jamie B. Golden. And many body parts. So if that's not your jam, you have been forewarned. xo
" but what’s more on-brand for 2020 than becoming what you loathe"
I have caught myself, repeatedly, sending Slack messages to my co-workers to let them know that I have sent them an email, which always include: "I am becoming the boss I always hated."
- Taylor Swift's new album - she's really out here doing it
- The nuance with which Erin, Jamie, and Knox tackled the whole John Crist issue and church of the Spaghetti Monster just felt like a huge breath of fresh air this week. Thank you for that.
- It's week #who knows of repeatedly listening to the Hamilton soundtrack while completing assignments and analyzing school data. I'm still not tired of it 😂On this note, a friend and I conversation about Lin Manuel Miranda's utilization of the line "but I'm not afraid, I know who I married" in act one and two that just slayed me.
- I bought a face shield for when we go back to teaching so my kids can see me smile if need be, and there is just no way to look at myself in it without laughing. It has big "cone of shame" energy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWU5M1q0WqU
Turds:
- In a follow up from our Governor shaming and manipulating teachers last week about getting back to face to face instruction so we can care for vulnerable students. He choose to give 32 million in discretionary funds to private institutions in the form of "grants" to private institutions; highlighting that his previous agenda was only horrible lip service. Please note that my issue with this is not parent choice, private schools, or homeschooling - I've benefitted from all of those and public education. I also firmly believe that each family just have the right to choose the best option for them and their family. (guess my enneagram number based on those two sentences 😂)
- One week left in my Master's program and I'm feeling like it is never going to end. My brain is feeling fried from creating action plans for schools and teachers based upon what feels like 15,000 sources of data.
Thank you all for the laughs, smiles, and amens this comment thread provides every week ❤️
Tomorrow I am the best lady in a Covid wedding (God forbid I be a matron.) it’s bittersweet. Their wedding feels like a bright spot in a really dark world but it’s sad that it’ll just be their immediate family and the bridal party in her parents’ backyard. She did every precaution and I feel safe about it, which I’m grateful for. Regardless, we are self-quarantining afterwards with a week at a beach cabin! Also excuse for a vacation! Whoop whoop!
Also, I like Erin’s newsletter of course, but man the comments are true treasures and I enjoy reading all of them and getting to know you all.
Finally - the crepe myrtle trees. I can’t even! What a beautiful sign of love.
Erin H Moon! I'm so excited for the suprise "Thing" that you are working on and cannot wait to celebrate once its announced!! 🙌🥳
🏡 Giant TURD for me this week: I'm set to close on a new construction condo in September, only to JUST now find out that I can't get financing because the building has too much commercial space. Gals- I've talked to so many lawyers and lenders this week my brain hurts. I'm heart broken and devastated to think that trying to get my 20% down payment back and walking away is my best bet. I'll take any advice or prayers if you're into that.
😷 Taking a mental day off work to process my feelings and catch up on my favorite podcasts
👪 Also strongly considering taking a trip to stay with my parents (an hr away) just for a change of scenery, is this the definition of insanity?
📚 Read Ask Again, Yes this month and I'm still thinking about it. Why do I wait so long to pick up hyped books?
📺 Started binging Schitt's Creek and where has this been all my life? #TeamDavid The Trivia episode in S1 is still my very favorite as I'm coasting through S3.
Schitt's Creek was my quarantine binge in the spring and I'm going back through it now because it's a weighted blanket for my heart. Team David for life.
Same. I'm a podcast junkie. Assuming you're already plugged into the friends of the Popcast adaj stuff, I've become obsessed with Forever 35- love these hosts, Sarah's Bookshelves- book/format, Invisbilia, This American Life, and I strongly recommend listening to the Dax Shepard one with Jonathan Haidt- social psychologist.
I LOVE Zesty Ginger! I’ve been following them for a couple years and have learned so much.
Treasures/things I’m thankful for:
-Still forever grateful for my new apartment and having a best friend just a few steps away to share life with during these strange pandemic times.
-Our library recently started opening for curbside pickups! I hate e-books and have been desperate for a good physical book to dive into because I have been watching way too much TV in my free time. Recommendations welcome (not a sci-fi/fantasy fan)!
-The boy and I are official! It’s been a whirlwind few weeks and I still can’t quite wrap my head around all that’s lead to this (especially in the middle of a pandemic), but it is good. ☺️
-Concealer
-Steak
Unsure:
-This doesn’t belong in either the treasure or turd category yet, so here’s an in between. I had my interview for a new job on Tuesday. It went okay. I’m never confident in interviews, even for my current job when it was just a formality. I either feel like I for sure tanked, or I feel okay about them. So, I feel okay about this one. Having it over Zoom was strange and added an additional layer of uncertainty. I’ll find out about next steps (if any) early next week. I do really want the job, but if I don’t get it, I still have one, so it’ll be fine. This may motivate me to continue searching If I don’t get it, rather than just feeling stuck at my current job with no direction of a way out like I’ve felt for a long time.
Turds:
-I only have a window AC in my living room, and that’s about the only spot in the house it keeps cool. I spend most of my time there, which is why it’s placed there, but my bedroom has been sweltering at night even with the fan on full blast and window open. Not great for someone who already sleeps hot. I’m considering getting a second unit for my bedroom, but $$$.
-My work computer has been dumb all week and frustrating me to no end. That is all.
Also, I just have to say that popping on here and reading through the comments seriously makes my dull Fridays so much better!
ALSO, for anyone dying for a first kiss update. It did happen this week. I won’t bother you all with details, but I will just say it went VERY well. 😂😅😆
Ugh it’s been a REAL turd week. My mom has s4 breast cancer (3 years since diagnosis) + mental illness (at least our lifetime)...oh and high blood pressure and diabetes, none of which she regularly treats so that all came to a head and we thought at the brink of death the past few days. My sister and I have been adulting her since we were 13/14 and we are just exhausted and it’s just the most impossible situation to navigate under any circumstances but also COVID and school decisions and now my FIL is entering palliative care and I just want to crawl under a pile of weighted blankets until it all resolves.
Instead I’m adulting with Hamilton as the sound track (“It takes and it takes and it takes” has never been more relatable).
BUT I did rediscover the treasure that is Millionaire American Princesses on Amazon Prime! Only a couple of episodes are free but I’m pretty sure whatever dollars it cost to release the entire series is worth a small bright spot.
And finally, friends, how are we healing the maskne? I’m 41, I am out of practice and nothing is working. I go through a package of Hanhoo dots a week, I’m washing twice a day with products that have Benzoyl peroxide / Salicylic acid....it’s a war zone.
Also! Thank you to whomever recommended Durells in Corfu last week! I watched through the series this week and it was a nice distraction. I did NOT love the mom’s character and the 4th season felt off-story somehow. But I loved seeing the actor who now plays Prince Charles in the Crown and loved the daughter character.
Cindy- T&Ps for you. That situation is HARD and you are entitled to sit with your feelings and process everything. In the meantime, we are here for you!
I took this week off, and I've been reading. I finished two books I've been reading since before the library closed in March! Invisible Women: Data Bias In A World Designed For Men by Caroline Criado Perez. Girlfriend definitely has an axe to grind, but her theme is legit. Did you know all driver's seat crash test dummies are based on the average male body?
Book two was Path to Power by Robert Caro, the first 700-page book in a series of five on the life of Lyndon Johnson. Guys. Power-hungry narcissists in Washington is not a new thing. Who knew?
And then! I read Mexican Gothic. It starts out like Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier, but ends up more in Dracula territory. There's some sexual violence (trigger warning), but it's not pervasive - I skimmed past it. I don't generally like scary books, but it was delicious after all the nonfiction.
Lily, I got immediate chills reading that your dad’s tree finally bloomed. How wonderful and touching.
I finished reading an advanced copy of The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi last night. It has some really practical principles and tips to make your life easier when it comes to things like laundry and cooking, but even deeper things like friendships and the way you view yourself. Just so y’all know, I love Kendra and all of the content she produces, but this book really spoke to my soul and helped me realize some new things about myself. AND in the acknowledgements section at the end, she thanked Jamie Golden, Knox McCoy, and Erin, and I was like YES MY PEOPLE 😭 (who I don’t actually know but am so glad I found on the Explore page on IG). So this book is my favorite treasure this week.
Lily, sameeeeeee! I have eczema but a lot of food allergies are the same. Very rarely do they make anything I could eat, but it is the best weighted blanket!
When I can tell that *the feelings* have built up and I need a good cathartic cry my go-to’s are:
Soldiers coming home (bonus if they’re meeting their baby for the first time 😭)
Kids asking their bonus parent to adopt them because “They’re the only father/mother they’ve ever known”
Warning: these are highly, almost too affective. Use only late at night when you know you won’t have to look at anyone with puffy eyes and say “I’m ok, I was watching videos of soldiers coming home and couldn’t stop crying” like i did at work last week.
Hi everyone. I have had a super turd week. Real stuff. Hard stuff. A dear family friend passed away unexpectedly (heart attack). I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis with a lupus overlap. And I’m a school administrator (so...you know).
I have an AMAZING support system (starting with my husband) of family and friends, but have felt terribly lonely this week. It’s kind of like you want to protect your people from the wreck you are, and even then they are looking right at your wreck.
Lily, that crepe myrtle did my heart good. What a sign of hope! And I love that you’re literally a tree hugger. ❤️
Schitt’s Creek was my treasure this week. I love the Roses. 🌹
Another treasure is my 8 year old has learned to scramble eggs and is so proficient I’m letting him do it in the kitchen while I sip my coffee in bed. 🍳 ☕️
My husband brought me gorgeous sunflowers from TJ’s. I love the joy they bring. 🌻
I needed a place to share today. Thanks, Erin, for providing this space.
I’m so sorry, Catha. All of that just sucks so much, and I never realized how I try to protect my people from the wreck I am until you said it so beautifully. Praying you will find rest this week.❤️
Thanks for sharing your turds and treasures this week. ALL the coffee, flowers, and awards for you as a school administrator during this time. I'm a teacher who finishing up her master's in administration this week. You are doing the Lord's work right now - whew! So many of my thoughts during this whole mess, have been about how we can support you guys because you are carrying the burdens of so many. Sending hugs, love, and hope your way!
Yes to all of this! I’m 6.5 years into grief and every life event brings it back. My dad missing all the good things and not being here for the hard things...SUCKS!
I greatly fear my people growing tired of my wreck. I’m hesitant to share anything at this point because I’m worried about them having complaint fatigue. And I’m what you might call an “over sharer,” so bottling it up does no good.
Lily, I’m so sorry you’re in my boat. But thanks for commiserating with me. I’m so grateful.
Yes, yes to all of this. Just finished Miracles and Other Reasonable Things on audiobook, and it spoke to me so much in this space! She ended with a beautiful quote from Rachel Held Evans: “ “...But there is a difference between curing and healing, and I believe the church is called to the slow and difficult work of healing. We are called to enter into one another’s pain, anoint it as holy, and stick around no matter the outcome.”
When you guys started quoting Jonathan Merritt this past week it was like all of my favorite circles were overlapping into a big happy place. Thank you for highlighting this excellent, intelligent, compassionate writer.
Not much to post here today, as I've honestly felt like I've hit a wall when comes to all things COVID, politics, and working from home. I also have two friends that just lost close family members this week and my heart is heavy. One lost a 20 year old brother, and the other lost her grandma...sometimes this world just feels cruel. Anyway, I have found my hope in a small truth that I was reminded of through a random Instagram story - there is room for our emotions in the Kingdom of God. As a Christian I needed that reminder that God isn't afraid of my emotions, but he feels them and welcomes them too. So if you're feeling heavy this week, I hope you feel Jesus welcoming you to the emotional and shamble show table. There's room for it all!
Hi, Swipes! These last two weeks have just.......taken a lot out of me. So I am very, VERY happy to have new Taylor to listen to and a couple hours at a coffee shop by myself. Is it weird to say I kind of love socially distancing at coffee shops? Two whole tables next to me HAVE to be empty? Yes, please.
Some treasures:
1) Starting to get a handle on things at my new job. I'm only working/training at the front desk one afternoon/week, and my hours will increase in a few weeks, but I'm glad for a chance to get oriented slowly. And I'll be adding counseling hours in the next month!
2) My husband and I got desperate and made a visual morning schedule for our 3-year-old, as well as printed our own schedules, and it has REVOLUTIONIZED our mornings. Not kidding, y'all. I'm really, really grateful for some consistency to our days, not to mention the fact that we actually spend time as a family of 4 now instead of just walking around each other as we attempt to get ready for the day. It's a grace I was not expecting, and while it's not always perfect, it is so good.
Also, forgot to ask - why can I not figure out how to get this newsletter to show up my "primary" folder on gmail instead of promotions? THIS IS A PRIMARY EMAIL, GOOGLE.
I keep starring and tabbing it. I just know to IMMEDIATELY look for it on Fridays in my promo folder if it slips there too, it's one of the only messages that matters. You'd think the (SCREAMS INTO THE WEB) the algorithms would GET IT already!
Gmail is trying to ruin my newsletter vibe too. I keep trying things and hoping. But there it always is...in promotions. It has made me unsubscribe from everything so I don’t miss things. On day....maybe.
When I moved it to primary, another small popup came up on the bottom of the screen that asked if I wanted it to move future emails from this address to that folder, and I had to click 'yes'. Maybe the popup was missed?
Good morning all from Minnesota....where I'm masked at my desk and wearing some verrrrry expensive lip balm (more on that in a bit)
So shall we just dive into all the things?
Treasures
1. Brownie brittle + PB: So I am not on team sweet, I am very much a team savory snacker but this week -- a piece of Sheila G's Brownie Brittle with a little schmear of peanut butter? it got me THROUGH
2. My son's baseball team FINALLY FOLLOWING THE DANG RULES -- guys. Yeah. It's happening. The coaches might make their sidebar comments and a couple moms decided to be really cute and loud whisper behind me about it "Parents were complaining" -- to which I turned around sweetly "If you want to talk about my complaints, you can actually talk TO me" -- they moved their chairs. Cute. But the rules and regulations set forth by our youth sports association are being FOLLOWED. YUP.
3. Sophie Hudson's facebook book club continues to be a delight
4. My dad is visiting tomorrow! YAY!!!!
5. Some free fancy schmancy lip balm - Okay let's be clear I did NOT buy this for myself. But where I work (I work at a manufacturing facility that is owned by a company that rhymes with Schmesstee Plauderrrr, and Shmesteeee Plauuuder owns a lot of companies) we are testing lines to see if we can fill a certain very high level brand's existing lip balm. They were doing some test runs and I got to get one of those samples off the line. Would I pay $65 for this? Heck no. But is it nice to have something for freesies? Yep. Do I often get asked to try a product here or there and share my thoughts? Sometimes. It is a very nice perk.
6. Giggling voicemessages to fellow swiper Danielle re: Zac Efron show. (laughs) Loved that exchange between us this week.
7. Signs are a thing you guys. I have a story. So, Weds I finally ordered a ring that will contain some of my mother's ashes. I know, this might seem like an odd treasure. But just like Lily has her beautiful tree, I am moving forward with finding ways to FINALLY move forward on my grief path* -- I have been looking for different jewelry makers and found this one: https://annnicolepreservations.com/ -- I am specifically ordering this ring: https://annnicolepreservations.com/product/kimberly-sue-glass-cremation-jewelry/
And the color of glass I picked is called Gold Coast and I picked it due to my mom's love for Hawaii. She would spend weeks there each year and wanted to move there "someday" which my sister and I joked kept moving out since we had kids and she loved being a Gramma available at a moments notice for us. But when she'd go rent the same house in Kona each year it was a week (or 3) that would bring her so much joy.
So the moment.
The sign.
I was finishing my order of this ring while at the office on my lunch break....we have Muzak piped in on our side of the building. The SECOND I hit complete order. This song started to play.
Cue me bursting into tears at my desk and calling my sister to tell her what happened. And she told ME about a moment she had over the 4th when she was at her lake cabin and was on her boat and was thinking of Mom while watching the water and another boater came by and that same song was on. Signs are a thing.
*Today marks the 5 year date of my Mom's ALS diagnosis. Sadly, her battle was very short (122 days)....but I'm reaching a place on my grief path where I am finally (FINALLLYYY) wanting to do more for those also in grief. Call it another sign, but lately I have been feeling this urge to want to find why there aren't more advocates for grief. Support groups I get, therapy I get. But did you know only ONE state in our country has statutes defined for bereavement leave? All others, your employer gets to determine your time off for bereavement. I want to understand why finally in the 21st century more time is given for those becoming new parents, but the bars are still so low for time you receive losing those you love. Are there grief lobbyists? Can this be a thing? Sorry, this now is me babbling.
I think I have rambled on a lot here.
But love to you all
Mel
ps - Erin: I cannot wait to hear about this new venture!!!
Also, thank you for sharing about the signs and your mom and your advocacy for those grieving. Today is the first anniversary of my grandfather's death, and gosh... grief is such a strange and beautiful and difficult and brutal thing. Totally agree more attention should be paid to it - us Americans do not do death well.
Also, re the parents. Like it was just obnoxious. There were 3 moms sitting behind me in their chairs and one mom was all normal voiced "oh they are social distancing in the dugout now? That's new" and one mom drops her voice to what I call Drunk Girl Whisper Volume "Well some parents complaiiiined about the games and how 'the rules' (she said it like it was a slur) weren't being followed" -- the other was all "Ohhhhh well I guess that's an opinion---" and this was where me with a tapping foot I turned around and said what I said. I'm not here for for that energy. I'm 43 and like mean girl energy? Get out of here with that.
Confession: I am not sure what my Enneagram is. I have taken a couple tests and some say I'm a 1, some say I'm a 3, I don't know. Whatever one isn't scared of confrontation and being ON IT. That's me. LOL
Really I think I'm just quickly becoming Ouiser Boudreaux from Steel Magnolias
HA! Right? Ouiser is so my mood default. But again, Ouiser did fight for her people and that is me 100%. But oh lordy, when I heard those whispers that weren't whispers I was shocked I ONLY said "talk TO me" instead of all the screaming in my heart/head that was happening. That one sentence was me showing restraint. But yeaaaaah I don't see myself being invited to the post season BBQ (snorts).
And yes, I think grief is still this weird thing that no one talks about, until you are IN it. Then the fellow members all come to you, like angels with wings (you know the pretty painter angels) and that murmur of the feathers seems to only be heard then....
But yes, our country. Especially now.
We need more respect for those in grief.
A colleague. He's going through the worst time with loss. And yes he got his five days....but he's basically being told "well you have vacation and sick time that you can use" -- like okay, so going through tragic loss, use your VACATION time. Because its a vacation? My goodness no.
I do think greater discussions about managing life after loss do need to be had.
Thanks, Mel. Yes re: not talking about it until you are in it. So true. If we talked about it more openly and treated it with more tenderness, maybe we would be able to walk through it with less shame and also know how to support or gosh, even just have comforting words those who ARE in it. I'm so sorry to hear about your colleague.
Yes, shame should never be associated with grief and its so sad that it is. We are a culture that rewards and celebrates life and milestones in life, but when that life ends...it often turns so hushed and quiet, we wear black, we cover the mirrors, we shutter the windows, we 'live' in gloaming. And feel we need to apologize for our pain and feelings. I just want to stand in front of all in that time and shield them, so they can take that time. It's this calling I can't seem to quiet right now. Again. I think I am now at that stage where I need to do more but I don't know how.
I sometimes think we need to return to Biblical grief and tear our clothes and sit in ashes. It’s ok to be a mess for awhile in grief and we need to do accept that more as a culture.
Only took me going to who WROTE the rules. I just called and asked if someone would want to stop by the games to see how teams are NOT adhering to any of the policies and if I could take back my waiver that I signed. Turns out, the coaches are just having to report weekly checking some box on a google doc that rules are being adhered to. I was all (to the Executive Director of the Youth Sports League Organization) "oh they checked a box did they? I also checked a box but I want to take it back, how do I do that? Oh the coaches said they were in compliance, that's great, but do you want the photos I have from games?"
I
BRING
RECEIPTS
Cue my husband in the background "oh this poor man brought a rubber knife to a a gun fight with you"
Treasures this week are very inside baseball for our fam: the babies went to daycare this week and are doing great, momma and daddy are enjoying quiet WFH, both babies have slept through the night this week, and the toddler has stopped throwing a fit about going to the potty as soon as we get home and goes quietly and cheerfully now, for the most part.
Thanks for everyone sharing their favorite TikToks. It's a great way to start my Friday morning!
Just so you know how you have been the light of my life Erin: I work at a psychiatric office. Our office is in a complex that shares a wall with a little-old-lady type Salon. The salon has been there for 20 years, we have been in this office for 3 whole weeks. I do believe I have scared the bejesus out of those ladies with my off-key renditions of "Say No to This" from Hamilton and today, my loud gaffaws over that supidly great bird video (I have watched it multiple times). You should see the looks I get as I go unlock the front door in the morning. It gives me so much joy to cause such fear and confusion in these blue-haired octogenarians.
I've been in a fiction rut, so I picked up The Bakeshop Mystery series by Ellie Alexander. I now want to visit Ashland, Oregon as soon as I can travel, and I want to bake all of the things. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21853681-meet-your-baker
Speaking of baking, I made Double Chocolate Zucchini Bread from the cookbook Midwest Made and my husband told me "this tastes like the best lava cake" so it was a big win. I checked out the cookbook from my library, but now I'm going to be purchasing. This is how my cookbook collection gets out of hand...
Finally, I am signed up for @busymamabookclub's summer book swap and I am SO excited to shop for my swap buddy. Shopping for books for people is so much fun to me. Maybe we need to start a Lil' Swipes book swap...
This week was a bit of a hot mess (hello extra mood-swingy toddler) but these were the treasures that helped make it work:
-Audio books. When I used to commute for work I was all about them and then slowly podcasts took over for books and I forgot that I loved them. Ironically a podcast, “Phoebe Reads a Mystery” got me back into them. On this podcast Phoebe Judge (ala Criminal Podcast fame) reads classic mystery detective novels, one chapter a day. Her voice is immensely soothing and the cozy British novels from Agatha Christie, Wilkie Collins etc., have been such a great listen.
-The book “The Heir Affair” by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan (The Fug Girls). It is the sequel to “The Royal We.” I am about 50% through, and it has been so fun catching up with Bex and Nick.
-Watermelon Smoothie: Combine fresh and frozen watermelon, the juice of one lime, mint leaves, honey, and a dash of salt in a blender. It is such a refreshing treat on hot summer afternoons.
My Mom’s 65th birthday is Sunday. It will be her first without my Dad, who passed away from renal cancer in January. I am trying to make it a happy day while geographically separated—thanks Covid. Wishing for all of us moments of celebration this weekend no matter our current circumstances.
Ahhh I didn’t know the sequel to Royal We had come out - that’s my all time favorite beach read rec! Going to order it now! And I am so sorry about your dad and how Covid makes painful things a million times worse. Holding space for you and your mom this weekend - you are not alone.❤️
You will love the book! Thanks for sharing the picture with Erin, that was so touching. My dad's bday was last week so it has been alot of feelings recently.
Now follow Zesty ginger cause, YAS to feminine mysteries being less mysterious!!!
I have a short workday today (Because of fun work related stuffs I have to do tomorrow) which means i have a day of reading in my new hammock ahead - followed by making dinner with my Boy (who continues to be my favorite Treasure, the gemiest gem to ever gem.)
I gave myself a COVID cut Wednesday, and now I have a pretty spiffy (if not a teensy bit uneven) lob, and the sheer act of snipping away at my hair was sooo cathartic.
We just got back from a week camping and my son didn't put the hammock back in our camper after he used it. I might have been mad at him the whole week. A week laying in a hammock in the mountains reading books was ALL I NEEDED. *sigh*
ALSO HOW COULD I FORGET! - finally watched the Hamil-film with my Boy (I've seen the touring show when it came to Memphis - the film was his first real exposure) . I had to promise I wouldn't sing the whole time, and he only had to remind me once. 😂 He's was a theatre and is all about the tech side of things so it was a great experience to have him comment on things like lighting , transition, framing etc, when usually I only think about words and story and pretty dresses 😄
School. I’m so tired of thinking about it. Social distancing will not be a thing anymore in a few weeks and I just don’t know anymore. My brain feels like a website that keeps trying to load and the circle just spins and spins and eventually it times out.
When I got out of bed a couple days ago, my youngest told me very sweetly that I looked like Hagrid’s wife, and I will never emotionally recover from this. Proud of his (unintentional) sick burn, motivated to get a haircut.
I MEAN. He also walked in on me getting dressed once and told me, sweetly and with zero malice, he was surprised I looked a lot fatter in my underwear. My ego is thoroughly in check.
I loved the first duet because I was NOT expecting that, haha! Also loved the wife pranking her husband. It's good to start off Friday with a solid chuckle!
Lots to be thankful for in the list this week. Thought I might add this TikTok if someone sing a Hamilton great over our beloved RBG. Made me smile on a day when it’s hard to get out of bed.
The only turd here was the very full of feelings 14 year old boy told me I was a terrible mother. Jokes on him he’s the third kid to tell me that so I’m not terrible concerned. It still stings a bit but I must remind myself that his feelings are his and not really a reflection on me.
Treasures: After almost 5 months of trying to figure out how to work from home, with all the kids home. I have cracked the code. It involves paying cash money to the older kids to watch the younger ones in two spurts!
This video has brought me so much joy! If I could figure out a way to share from some where else other than FB I would. I’m sorry in advance that you’ll have to go over to the dumpster fire that is FB.
Oh one more thing, my mom who has recently fallen hard into all the conspiracy theories like super hard, tried to explain the coin crisis to me. Telling me we were all about to be tracked. I then had to explain to her how her smart phone works! Which I then got a terrible case of the giggles , she got mad and hung on me!!
If you were all wondering, btw, the wayfair thing is not real. A friend of mine works there leading their social media and woof her work life right now is a dumpster fire
Oh bless your friends heart! She is a true hero! I work in social media, in good times it’s a hassle and I’m sure it’s a hot mess in crisis! I have explained the wayfair miss truth 1 zillion times to my mom! I’ve also said “Facebook is not a news source,ma!’
Conspiracy theories have caused me to threaten to change my parents Facebook passwords about 3 times this week. I’m willing to block it on their computer if it comes to it!
I did tell him that while I loved him, he wasn’t doing to great a job at being a son so we were even.😉 I’ve giving up on college savings and am directing all extra funds to their therapy funds.
Do we get to a point in life where we lose our filter for conspiracy theories? Like they gradually sound less ridiculous? I just don’t get how people see them as remotely realistic. 🙈🤦🏻♀️
Also I hear you on the kids with big feelings - on Monday, my 3 year old, in his attempt to say the worst thing possible to me, yelled, “YOU ARE GOING TO POOP.”
I am now officially going to tell everyone that makes me angry that they are going to poop. I need to reign in my tongue so this could be a good alternative. Although it's a turd, it's a treasure in my book!
Oh gosh, I cracked up as soon as he said it. Now that I'm thinking about it, I need to write it down 😂 Glad you can take it and make it your own. He would be very proud of himself knowing he gave you this gift.
I don’t know! But I have talked my mom off the dang ledge of conspiracy theories more times in the last six months! I told my older brother that he owes big time!! I think 2020 is what everyone thought Y2K was suppose to be and all that left over energy came to the surface!
I'm an old Lutheran church lady, we collect change called mites for missionary work. The running joke in Lutheran circles is that we are responsible because we haven't been able to turn our mites in for months!!
This whole thread is making me laugh so hard! My mom called last week to tell me she couldn't get into her banking account. She only lives a mile from me so I drove over to help her and got right in. Earlier that day I nearly blocked her on Facebook for sending me conspiracy theory posts. And info on how masks are killing us all. She has't hung upon me though. Yet.
This week, I was helping my mom with technical issues over the phone and I said, “we don’t give up just because things are hard or frustrating,” (even though I was doing almost all of it so don’t know why she was so frustrated. And my mom responded,”yes we do!” 🤦🏻♀️
The most random treasure right now is my 22 mo old’s obsession with the song The Little Drummer Boy (which she became obsessed with probably at the very moment that Jamie was recording that she was canceling Christmas music). I’m honestly not 100% sure where she heard it for the first time- I think I may have started to panic sing it when I was trying to out-sing both my kids crying about something? She now keeps running up to me and saying “Mommy, sing pum pum pum” and requesting to watch it on YouTube when she’s tired of my version.
Literal turd at dinner last night. I usually try to not be looking at my phone too much while we’re at the table, but my friends are in the midst of trying to plan a meal for the memorial service for our dear friend’s father (who just passed away from Covid on Tuesday). Lots of texting and voxing and staring at my phone until my husband said “uh- what’s she eating?!” Looked over to see the 15 mo old is LITERALLY EATING POOP. A giant turd must have squeezed out the side of her diaper and down her leg, so, naturally, you put your hand in it and eat it... 😳🤢
Omg 😂🙈 Once my girlfriend was hiking on vacation with her kids, and she saw her toddler had something in her mouth...it was poop she found in the woods. RANDOM WILD ANIMAL POOP. 🤢😭 Whyyyy do they do these things? That is so sweet about her pum pum pum song!
Thank you (both for the hope that my kid will survive eating 💩and for your sympathy). Losing a parent is such a hard thing in the best of times, but to have to walk through it now, in the midst of isolation... it’s a whole other level.
I stayed up late watching Palm Springs (treasure) and was rewarded with getting this newsletter before sleeping. When I learned of John Lewis passing I could not stop crying. I loved him so much. I do not want to live in a world where someone else must take up the mantle of reminding me of all the hope and love and goodness that can exist in a person.
Did you listen to the The Daily podcast were they announced the measure in his honor? The women who read the measure for the record began crying. It was such a sweet moment. ❤️
I love the long reply! Upon further reflection, I enjoy comedians who riff on every day life, but I also cannot resist ridiculous voices/characters. Call me immature but here I am :)
I didn’t really get in to stand up until my husband started forcing me to watch some specials 😅 BUT I have come to call Mike Birbiglia my fave stand up comedian. My husband and I saw him live a few years ago for “The New One” & he was truly fantastic.
I love Mike Birbiglia. He's definitely more of a story-teller comedian and I really appreciate that. The one about his baby had my husband and I crying laughing.
As you’re doing your comedian survey, would highly recommend the podcast Good One. The host has comedians on and interviews them about their process and the story of a particular joke - very good!
I've been putting off making a decision for this very reason. Maybe holding out hope the school district will just do the right thing (of course we might have differing opinions on what that is). But mostly just procrastinating.
Hello, fellow enneagram 9 here... I 100% understand the frustration that comes with spending your dwindling energy on a decision that then ends up being made for you. Sometimes that can be nice, but it is super frustrating to feel depleted for no good reason. I'm not a parent, so I can't imagine having to make that decision. Proud of you for sticking it out!
I made our school decision way back in July, but I kept hoping for the best. Mostly because I am a one and need a plan on how to manage this school at home situation.
I made squash casserole a week ago and ate the whole thing. I’m the only one who eats it, and having to eat the whole thing doesn’t hurt my feelings at all 😂 I’m glad I’m not the only one who loves it.
Lily, I’ve wanted to reach out to you as I follow in here each week, but I’m still a hesitant poster. But I lost my dad unexpectedly 2.5 years ago and then my husband lost his dad a year later. I have felt so much for you and just wanted you to know you’ve been in my thoughts.
And your comments are a DELIGHT!
Also, redi whip in coffee is true therapy! Should that go on my grocery list this week?
Also, my grandma passed away a month ago and though it was very different because she was 97 and lived a great life and had really deteriorated, out last 4 months with her and our goodbyes were stolen by Covid. So, I’m so extra sorry for that heaping load of extra pain on top of the deep grief. But these blooms...❤️❤️❤️
Lily, will you remind us of the family quote that came from your parents Nursery Business? I think the one you had engraved for your Mom -- if I'm remembering correctly??
Chris. He had really good hair! He is now a reporter for a New York TV station (and no lie, has won awards for local news reporters with the best hair, lol). As the mom to a current 12 year old boy, I truly had no idea how clueless they really are.
Hello friends! I feel like we're friends, right? This is my first time posting. <3
Treasure of the week: I have had a little bit of relief from the daily chronic pain I deal with #disabledasheck. Listening to funny podcasts at work has also been a treasure, I've been saving this week's Popcast episode for when I really need a lift.
Turd: I've been feeling pretty lonely... I don't have very many friends, and the ones I do have live far away and/or are social distancing... which I support! especially as a high risk individual! But my extroverted soul is withering away. If anyone has tips for how to make friends, I'd appreciate it! And I miiiight download a dating app this weekend but we'll see ;)
Thank you Amanda, it's nice to hear that I'm not alone <3
Erin, How your oldest and youngest look so much alike I'll never understand!! So adorable!
Yall, Texas is hotter than hot. I'm currently sitting outside at a coffee shop (drinking beer because hot) cause stupid covid shut down inside places even though most of us were being good humans. I'm not bitter just sweaty!
I'm currently on an almost 4 week break from my part time nanny job which means my part time church job is full force. What are some thing your church has done during lockdown that you've loved? I'd love to hear some new ideas on how to reach kids and teens!
I turned 36 in June and finally feel like I'm ready to start dating again, its been awhile! Help me, people!!!
Someone else asked about dating apps in another comment and I just gotta say, its rough out here. Although I have found one that isn't complete trash and is very Christ-centered without being super gross like Christian Mingle. It's called United Young (stupid name) and all of the questions are really intentional and you're required to write at least 50 characters worth for each answer so people can't just skimp by with one worded answers. Also, I feel like all of the cute boys on there live in Texas, which should be good for you!
My treasure this week is hiking. I've ventured out on a few over the last few weeks and I cannot express what it's done for my mental and emotional health. To be able to get out of the house, move my body, get some fresh air, and be in nature is WONDERFUL. I try out a new trail each time and today's was by far my favorite so far. Then I went for my usual post-hike peach milkshake and CFA gave me an EXTRA FRY with my meal!
My best friend is also coming over for dinner tonight. We're gonna eat pasta and bread and drink wine and fill each other in on our quarantine lives.
All the carbs and hiking!
I have been reading these since Day 1, but I am a first time thread commenter (that's not actually a word, is it?) This is one of the highlights of my week... so thank you Erin for giving us this!
I am honestly here to ask an important question that I think every time I read the thread - should I get on dating apps? How do we feel?
I'll share some treasures and turds while I am here:
Turds:
-I have been dogsitting for nine days, and the air conditioner went out! Somehow I got tasked with talking to the landlord of a house I don't even live in... and she was rude to me!
- I am a teacher and my school district has the AUDACITY to pay teachers all 3 months of summer pay in June. I got paid in June and won't be paid again until September. It's rude of them to do that because I want to ball out with my money and am historically not a great money decision maker. I am sitting here trying to convince myself to eat the tuna I have here instead of going to grab something for lunch.
- I have an appointment with a new gynecologist on Monday. These things always stress me out. I have PCOS and was diagnosed when I was 15 so I have had to deal with them forever. My first Pap was when I was 21 and it was a traumatic experience. I have had 2 more since then and they were fine but I can never shake how bad the first one was.
Treasures:
- I got my hair done yesterday and it looks BOMB. I keep sending people pictures so they will compliment me.
- Taylor's new album came out. The line in "exile" when they say "I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending." Cuts me deep and no one (besides America and society) has broken my heart lately... yet I still feel it in my soul. Also the line, "She had a marvelous time ruining everything" needs to be tatooed on my body.
- Since it has just been me and the dog here, I have gotten to watch a lot of movies and Tik Tok... no complaints there!
Welcome! I love reading first time commenters!
In response to the dating app question: it honestly depends on what you're looking for. I have a couple apps downloaded now and while the f-boys have taken a hiatus during quarantine, meaning the response I get is not as overwhelming, any and all conversations I've had with matches have been mad dry. Dating right now is just really awkward and I think everyone is in a weird space mentally and emotionally, but if you just wanna browse and see what's out there (spoiler alert: there ain't much), then I'd say go for it!
I had one school that paid a lump sum as well. You feel like such a baller in June but come August there were tears. Not that this will help this summer but I opened an extra savings account where I put my last check, each week I paid myself my weekly pay to my checking account. It didn't always work but really helped me to keep my spending in check.
May your OBGYN appt be uneventful & your hair compliments continue. 🙏 And YESS to those Taylor lines. Welcome to the best comments section ever!
Its wild that there's such a strong through line of grief in this thread -- its almost as if we as a people are collectively grieving that which we've lost [insert: normalcy, jobs, time to ourselves, loved ones, reliable information from informed leadership] you know, the basics. I join those of you who are grieving the recent-ish loss of a parent. As a 37 yo woman, I go back and forth on the daily between "I'm actually relieved Mom is not here to have to live through this chaos" and "I just want my Mommy to make it better!" I listened to Brene Brown's podcast this week from Mar 31 - "On Grief and Finding Meaning". Its good to hear people put words to the emotions I can't identify in myself. And the expert she is talking to, David Kessler, does address this collective grief we are all going through. I wouldn't say its a rip-roaring good time, but it was good for my soul to hear.
On a related note, Brene had also recommended the Hulu show "Normal People" in another episode and I jumped on board quickly. This is based on Sally Rooney's book of the same name - true confession, I have not read the book. But I LOVE this show. Mature Audiences alert - there's a lot of sessy time, in the words of Jamie B. Golden. And many body parts. So if that's not your jam, you have been forewarned. xo
" but what’s more on-brand for 2020 than becoming what you loathe"
I have caught myself, repeatedly, sending Slack messages to my co-workers to let them know that I have sent them an email, which always include: "I am becoming the boss I always hated."
Good Morning, Swipes!
Treasures this week have been:
- Taylor Swift's new album - she's really out here doing it
- The nuance with which Erin, Jamie, and Knox tackled the whole John Crist issue and church of the Spaghetti Monster just felt like a huge breath of fresh air this week. Thank you for that.
- It's week #who knows of repeatedly listening to the Hamilton soundtrack while completing assignments and analyzing school data. I'm still not tired of it 😂On this note, a friend and I conversation about Lin Manuel Miranda's utilization of the line "but I'm not afraid, I know who I married" in act one and two that just slayed me.
- I bought a face shield for when we go back to teaching so my kids can see me smile if need be, and there is just no way to look at myself in it without laughing. It has big "cone of shame" energy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWU5M1q0WqU
Turds:
- In a follow up from our Governor shaming and manipulating teachers last week about getting back to face to face instruction so we can care for vulnerable students. He choose to give 32 million in discretionary funds to private institutions in the form of "grants" to private institutions; highlighting that his previous agenda was only horrible lip service. Please note that my issue with this is not parent choice, private schools, or homeschooling - I've benefitted from all of those and public education. I also firmly believe that each family just have the right to choose the best option for them and their family. (guess my enneagram number based on those two sentences 😂)
- One week left in my Master's program and I'm feeling like it is never going to end. My brain is feeling fried from creating action plans for schools and teachers based upon what feels like 15,000 sources of data.
Thank you all for the laughs, smiles, and amens this comment thread provides every week ❤️
I'm a 9 - firmly seeing all sides to a situation ☺️
I made cucumber basil agua Fresca. Highly recommended: https://pinchofyum.com/cucumber-agua-fresca#tasty-recipes-62917
Kate C Bowler is getting me through this pandemic and everything with her prayers and blessings.
This one. https://www.instagram.com/p/CC_ZP1NHkGs/?igshid=1urtaum6k3obr
Tomorrow I am the best lady in a Covid wedding (God forbid I be a matron.) it’s bittersweet. Their wedding feels like a bright spot in a really dark world but it’s sad that it’ll just be their immediate family and the bridal party in her parents’ backyard. She did every precaution and I feel safe about it, which I’m grateful for. Regardless, we are self-quarantining afterwards with a week at a beach cabin! Also excuse for a vacation! Whoop whoop!
Also, I like Erin’s newsletter of course, but man the comments are true treasures and I enjoy reading all of them and getting to know you all.
Finally - the crepe myrtle trees. I can’t even! What a beautiful sign of love.
BEACH CAAAABBBIN.....can I be smuggled into your luggage? :)
Sure! We got a new cargo carrier for the top of our car for all our kiddo crap so we’re feeling flush with space.
Also, fair warning: it’s a PNW beach so more dark blue water and rocky sand than the turquoise water and golden sand you may be picturing. ;)
That's like Lake Superior beach in MN. I am HERE for it. I can totally squeeze in there. HAHA.
Erin H Moon! I'm so excited for the suprise "Thing" that you are working on and cannot wait to celebrate once its announced!! 🙌🥳
🏡 Giant TURD for me this week: I'm set to close on a new construction condo in September, only to JUST now find out that I can't get financing because the building has too much commercial space. Gals- I've talked to so many lawyers and lenders this week my brain hurts. I'm heart broken and devastated to think that trying to get my 20% down payment back and walking away is my best bet. I'll take any advice or prayers if you're into that.
😷 Taking a mental day off work to process my feelings and catch up on my favorite podcasts
👪 Also strongly considering taking a trip to stay with my parents (an hr away) just for a change of scenery, is this the definition of insanity?
📚 Read Ask Again, Yes this month and I'm still thinking about it. Why do I wait so long to pick up hyped books?
📺 Started binging Schitt's Creek and where has this been all my life? #TeamDavid The Trivia episode in S1 is still my very favorite as I'm coasting through S3.
Schitt's Creek was my quarantine binge in the spring and I'm going back through it now because it's a weighted blanket for my heart. Team David for life.
Schitt's Creek is such a joy! Favorite podcasts? Always looking for more to add to my never able to catch up list :)
Same. I'm a podcast junkie. Assuming you're already plugged into the friends of the Popcast adaj stuff, I've become obsessed with Forever 35- love these hosts, Sarah's Bookshelves- book/format, Invisbilia, This American Life, and I strongly recommend listening to the Dax Shepard one with Jonathan Haidt- social psychologist.
Oh wow, so many suggestions. :) Thanks!
I LOVE Zesty Ginger! I’ve been following them for a couple years and have learned so much.
Treasures/things I’m thankful for:
-Still forever grateful for my new apartment and having a best friend just a few steps away to share life with during these strange pandemic times.
-Our library recently started opening for curbside pickups! I hate e-books and have been desperate for a good physical book to dive into because I have been watching way too much TV in my free time. Recommendations welcome (not a sci-fi/fantasy fan)!
-The boy and I are official! It’s been a whirlwind few weeks and I still can’t quite wrap my head around all that’s lead to this (especially in the middle of a pandemic), but it is good. ☺️
-Concealer
-Steak
Unsure:
-This doesn’t belong in either the treasure or turd category yet, so here’s an in between. I had my interview for a new job on Tuesday. It went okay. I’m never confident in interviews, even for my current job when it was just a formality. I either feel like I for sure tanked, or I feel okay about them. So, I feel okay about this one. Having it over Zoom was strange and added an additional layer of uncertainty. I’ll find out about next steps (if any) early next week. I do really want the job, but if I don’t get it, I still have one, so it’ll be fine. This may motivate me to continue searching If I don’t get it, rather than just feeling stuck at my current job with no direction of a way out like I’ve felt for a long time.
Turds:
-I only have a window AC in my living room, and that’s about the only spot in the house it keeps cool. I spend most of my time there, which is why it’s placed there, but my bedroom has been sweltering at night even with the fan on full blast and window open. Not great for someone who already sleeps hot. I’m considering getting a second unit for my bedroom, but $$$.
-My work computer has been dumb all week and frustrating me to no end. That is all.
Also, I just have to say that popping on here and reading through the comments seriously makes my dull Fridays so much better!
The boy!! This is all so exciting!
YESSSSS I live for Boy updates on this thread.
ALSO, for anyone dying for a first kiss update. It did happen this week. I won’t bother you all with details, but I will just say it went VERY well. 😂😅😆
Yay for changing your relationship status!!! PING
I'm VERY excited that Lil Swipes is now officially two for two on Sarah's getting their mens during the pandemic. Are we a dating app now?
Lil Swipes is kind of a fitting name for a dating app. 😂 The tagline can be ‘Love in the time of Corona’.
That sounds like a very sexy novel
Sarahs* but you get it.
Thank you!
Ugh it’s been a REAL turd week. My mom has s4 breast cancer (3 years since diagnosis) + mental illness (at least our lifetime)...oh and high blood pressure and diabetes, none of which she regularly treats so that all came to a head and we thought at the brink of death the past few days. My sister and I have been adulting her since we were 13/14 and we are just exhausted and it’s just the most impossible situation to navigate under any circumstances but also COVID and school decisions and now my FIL is entering palliative care and I just want to crawl under a pile of weighted blankets until it all resolves.
Instead I’m adulting with Hamilton as the sound track (“It takes and it takes and it takes” has never been more relatable).
BUT I did rediscover the treasure that is Millionaire American Princesses on Amazon Prime! Only a couple of episodes are free but I’m pretty sure whatever dollars it cost to release the entire series is worth a small bright spot.
And finally, friends, how are we healing the maskne? I’m 41, I am out of practice and nothing is working. I go through a package of Hanhoo dots a week, I’m washing twice a day with products that have Benzoyl peroxide / Salicylic acid....it’s a war zone.
Also! Thank you to whomever recommended Durells in Corfu last week! I watched through the series this week and it was a nice distraction. I did NOT love the mom’s character and the 4th season felt off-story somehow. But I loved seeing the actor who now plays Prince Charles in the Crown and loved the daughter character.
Cindy - that is hard. Do what you need to take care of yourself.
My mom just recommended Millionaire American Princess! I should look into it
Cindy- T&Ps for you. That situation is HARD and you are entitled to sit with your feelings and process everything. In the meantime, we are here for you!
That pigeon thing is killing me. Thank you for that.
I finished the desk for my client! I'll go back in a couple weeks with a matching shelf and to install the hardware. I love my job, but I'm always glad when I finish up a project. https://www.instagram.com/p/CC12p8zl4My/?igshid=1439zxrh7wwuo
I took this week off, and I've been reading. I finished two books I've been reading since before the library closed in March! Invisible Women: Data Bias In A World Designed For Men by Caroline Criado Perez. Girlfriend definitely has an axe to grind, but her theme is legit. Did you know all driver's seat crash test dummies are based on the average male body?
Book two was Path to Power by Robert Caro, the first 700-page book in a series of five on the life of Lyndon Johnson. Guys. Power-hungry narcissists in Washington is not a new thing. Who knew?
And then! I read Mexican Gothic. It starts out like Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier, but ends up more in Dracula territory. There's some sexual violence (trigger warning), but it's not pervasive - I skimmed past it. I don't generally like scary books, but it was delicious after all the nonfiction.
I was a history major too - it's so comforting somehow to know that we're not really in new territory.
This girl’s performance of an owl (?) in her high school play had me cracking up, y’all.
https://vm.tiktok.com/JFTMkTS/
Lily, I got immediate chills reading that your dad’s tree finally bloomed. How wonderful and touching.
I finished reading an advanced copy of The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi last night. It has some really practical principles and tips to make your life easier when it comes to things like laundry and cooking, but even deeper things like friendships and the way you view yourself. Just so y’all know, I love Kendra and all of the content she produces, but this book really spoke to my soul and helped me realize some new things about myself. AND in the acknowledgements section at the end, she thanked Jamie Golden, Knox McCoy, and Erin, and I was like YES MY PEOPLE 😭 (who I don’t actually know but am so glad I found on the Explore page on IG). So this book is my favorite treasure this week.
OMG-->GBBO IS COMING BACK! --> https://deadline.com/2020/07/the-great-british-bake-off-back-in-production-1202991744/
I SEE A RAM IN THE THICKET! PRAISE GOD!
I need Paul Hollywood handshakes (oh wait, will Covid take the Hollywood handshake!) NOOOOOO!!!!
Nooooooo!!! I low-key want him to come up with something else to satisfy covid guidelines. Like an air kiss or something
Well since its the UK and they have managed this better, I'm sure that all will have a clean bill of health so handshakes can happen.
In Jesus name amen.
when God knows what we NEEEEED
Won't He Do It?!
Is it weird that this made me literally burst into tears?! I need more GBBO at a cellular level.
It's such a safe and soothing escape. I so understand this.
Lily, sameeeeeee! I have eczema but a lot of food allergies are the same. Very rarely do they make anything I could eat, but it is the best weighted blanket!
When I can tell that *the feelings* have built up and I need a good cathartic cry my go-to’s are:
Soldiers coming home (bonus if they’re meeting their baby for the first time 😭)
Kids asking their bonus parent to adopt them because “They’re the only father/mother they’ve ever known”
Warning: these are highly, almost too affective. Use only late at night when you know you won’t have to look at anyone with puffy eyes and say “I’m ok, I was watching videos of soldiers coming home and couldn’t stop crying” like i did at work last week.
I'm a 9 but same. I don't cry unless I'm incredibly angry or incredibly sad, and if I'm neither of those I have absolutely no desire to cry. 🤷♀️
Hi everyone. I have had a super turd week. Real stuff. Hard stuff. A dear family friend passed away unexpectedly (heart attack). I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis with a lupus overlap. And I’m a school administrator (so...you know).
I have an AMAZING support system (starting with my husband) of family and friends, but have felt terribly lonely this week. It’s kind of like you want to protect your people from the wreck you are, and even then they are looking right at your wreck.
Lily, that crepe myrtle did my heart good. What a sign of hope! And I love that you’re literally a tree hugger. ❤️
Schitt’s Creek was my treasure this week. I love the Roses. 🌹
Another treasure is my 8 year old has learned to scramble eggs and is so proficient I’m letting him do it in the kitchen while I sip my coffee in bed. 🍳 ☕️
My husband brought me gorgeous sunflowers from TJ’s. I love the joy they bring. 🌻
I needed a place to share today. Thanks, Erin, for providing this space.
Schitts Creek is mine too! LOVE
I’m so sorry, Catha. All of that just sucks so much, and I never realized how I try to protect my people from the wreck I am until you said it so beautifully. Praying you will find rest this week.❤️
It’s exhausting, right? And they don’t even know we’re doing it. Nor did they ask us too. 😘
Hi Catha!
Thanks for sharing your turds and treasures this week. ALL the coffee, flowers, and awards for you as a school administrator during this time. I'm a teacher who finishing up her master's in administration this week. You are doing the Lord's work right now - whew! So many of my thoughts during this whole mess, have been about how we can support you guys because you are carrying the burdens of so many. Sending hugs, love, and hope your way!
Right back atcha, Bethany. This stuff is HARD.
I am so sorry for your loss and diagnosis Catha. Find all the joy however great or small. Enjoy all those eggs and flowers.
Hoping for rest and peace and space and mercy as you move into the time ahead. Enjoy the heck out of those sunflowers. 💗
Yes to all of this! I’m 6.5 years into grief and every life event brings it back. My dad missing all the good things and not being here for the hard things...SUCKS!
I greatly fear my people growing tired of my wreck. I’m hesitant to share anything at this point because I’m worried about them having complaint fatigue. And I’m what you might call an “over sharer,” so bottling it up does no good.
Lily, I’m so sorry you’re in my boat. But thanks for commiserating with me. I’m so grateful.
I feel this so much with my OCD/depression/anxiety/panic!
Lily, I think we’re the same person. You ARE a delight!
Yes, yes to all of this. Just finished Miracles and Other Reasonable Things on audiobook, and it spoke to me so much in this space! She ended with a beautiful quote from Rachel Held Evans: “ “...But there is a difference between curing and healing, and I believe the church is called to the slow and difficult work of healing. We are called to enter into one another’s pain, anoint it as holy, and stick around no matter the outcome.”
When you guys started quoting Jonathan Merritt this past week it was like all of my favorite circles were overlapping into a big happy place. Thank you for highlighting this excellent, intelligent, compassionate writer.
Not much to post here today, as I've honestly felt like I've hit a wall when comes to all things COVID, politics, and working from home. I also have two friends that just lost close family members this week and my heart is heavy. One lost a 20 year old brother, and the other lost her grandma...sometimes this world just feels cruel. Anyway, I have found my hope in a small truth that I was reminded of through a random Instagram story - there is room for our emotions in the Kingdom of God. As a Christian I needed that reminder that God isn't afraid of my emotions, but he feels them and welcomes them too. So if you're feeling heavy this week, I hope you feel Jesus welcoming you to the emotional and shamble show table. There's room for it all!
Oh girl, I hit that wall with you. It feels like everything is coming apart at the seams. Feel all the feelings!
I hear you, Lillian 💕💕 feel those feelings and grateful for our God who cares
Thank you for this 💗
Hi, Swipes! These last two weeks have just.......taken a lot out of me. So I am very, VERY happy to have new Taylor to listen to and a couple hours at a coffee shop by myself. Is it weird to say I kind of love socially distancing at coffee shops? Two whole tables next to me HAVE to be empty? Yes, please.
Some treasures:
1) Starting to get a handle on things at my new job. I'm only working/training at the front desk one afternoon/week, and my hours will increase in a few weeks, but I'm glad for a chance to get oriented slowly. And I'll be adding counseling hours in the next month!
2) My husband and I got desperate and made a visual morning schedule for our 3-year-old, as well as printed our own schedules, and it has REVOLUTIONIZED our mornings. Not kidding, y'all. I'm really, really grateful for some consistency to our days, not to mention the fact that we actually spend time as a family of 4 now instead of just walking around each other as we attempt to get ready for the day. It's a grace I was not expecting, and while it's not always perfect, it is so good.
3) I won a BeautyCounter giveaway and got a free lipstick, so that's a real treat. This is what I picked: https://www.beautycounter.com/product/multi-color-lipstick/variant-414
4) My friend sent me this post about a medical student who created a handbook for dermatologists to identify disease symptoms on darker skin, and I mean, 😭💗: https://www.instagram.com/p/CCkQNlIgExE/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Hope you all have a wonderful (folklore-filled (if you're a Taylor fan 😁)) weekend!
Also, forgot to ask - why can I not figure out how to get this newsletter to show up my "primary" folder on gmail instead of promotions? THIS IS A PRIMARY EMAIL, GOOGLE.
Hannah, drag the email to your Primary and it should go there forever and ever amen. We are the bosses of Gmail.
I keep starring and tabbing it. I just know to IMMEDIATELY look for it on Fridays in my promo folder if it slips there too, it's one of the only messages that matters. You'd think the (SCREAMS INTO THE WEB) the algorithms would GET IT already!
Gmail is trying to ruin my newsletter vibe too. I keep trying things and hoping. But there it always is...in promotions. It has made me unsubscribe from everything so I don’t miss things. On day....maybe.
When I moved it to primary, another small popup came up on the bottom of the screen that asked if I wanted it to move future emails from this address to that folder, and I had to click 'yes'. Maybe the popup was missed?
Nooooooooo. Maybe try adding erinhmoon@substack.com to your contacts or marking it as important?
It’s so helpful 😭 Microsoft (I think?) makes little symbols/pictures now for basically everything & they worked like a charm for my son.
Good morning all from Minnesota....where I'm masked at my desk and wearing some verrrrry expensive lip balm (more on that in a bit)
So shall we just dive into all the things?
Treasures
1. Brownie brittle + PB: So I am not on team sweet, I am very much a team savory snacker but this week -- a piece of Sheila G's Brownie Brittle with a little schmear of peanut butter? it got me THROUGH
2. My son's baseball team FINALLY FOLLOWING THE DANG RULES -- guys. Yeah. It's happening. The coaches might make their sidebar comments and a couple moms decided to be really cute and loud whisper behind me about it "Parents were complaining" -- to which I turned around sweetly "If you want to talk about my complaints, you can actually talk TO me" -- they moved their chairs. Cute. But the rules and regulations set forth by our youth sports association are being FOLLOWED. YUP.
3. Sophie Hudson's facebook book club continues to be a delight
4. My dad is visiting tomorrow! YAY!!!!
5. Some free fancy schmancy lip balm - Okay let's be clear I did NOT buy this for myself. But where I work (I work at a manufacturing facility that is owned by a company that rhymes with Schmesstee Plauderrrr, and Shmesteeee Plauuuder owns a lot of companies) we are testing lines to see if we can fill a certain very high level brand's existing lip balm. They were doing some test runs and I got to get one of those samples off the line. Would I pay $65 for this? Heck no. But is it nice to have something for freesies? Yep. Do I often get asked to try a product here or there and share my thoughts? Sometimes. It is a very nice perk.
6. Giggling voicemessages to fellow swiper Danielle re: Zac Efron show. (laughs) Loved that exchange between us this week.
7. Signs are a thing you guys. I have a story. So, Weds I finally ordered a ring that will contain some of my mother's ashes. I know, this might seem like an odd treasure. But just like Lily has her beautiful tree, I am moving forward with finding ways to FINALLY move forward on my grief path* -- I have been looking for different jewelry makers and found this one: https://annnicolepreservations.com/ -- I am specifically ordering this ring: https://annnicolepreservations.com/product/kimberly-sue-glass-cremation-jewelry/
And the color of glass I picked is called Gold Coast and I picked it due to my mom's love for Hawaii. She would spend weeks there each year and wanted to move there "someday" which my sister and I joked kept moving out since we had kids and she loved being a Gramma available at a moments notice for us. But when she'd go rent the same house in Kona each year it was a week (or 3) that would bring her so much joy.
So the moment.
The sign.
I was finishing my order of this ring while at the office on my lunch break....we have Muzak piped in on our side of the building. The SECOND I hit complete order. This song started to play.
https://youtu.be/fahr069-fzE
Cue me bursting into tears at my desk and calling my sister to tell her what happened. And she told ME about a moment she had over the 4th when she was at her lake cabin and was on her boat and was thinking of Mom while watching the water and another boater came by and that same song was on. Signs are a thing.
*Today marks the 5 year date of my Mom's ALS diagnosis. Sadly, her battle was very short (122 days)....but I'm reaching a place on my grief path where I am finally (FINALLLYYY) wanting to do more for those also in grief. Call it another sign, but lately I have been feeling this urge to want to find why there aren't more advocates for grief. Support groups I get, therapy I get. But did you know only ONE state in our country has statutes defined for bereavement leave? All others, your employer gets to determine your time off for bereavement. I want to understand why finally in the 21st century more time is given for those becoming new parents, but the bars are still so low for time you receive losing those you love. Are there grief lobbyists? Can this be a thing? Sorry, this now is me babbling.
I think I have rambled on a lot here.
But love to you all
Mel
ps - Erin: I cannot wait to hear about this new venture!!!
I love that you called out those rude mamas!
Such a beautiful sign!!❤️ I’m so glad you got that!
I wish I could attach a pic of the glass color, its so pretty. I'm really excited.
GO YOU. You tell those parents. YOU TELL EM.
Also, thank you for sharing about the signs and your mom and your advocacy for those grieving. Today is the first anniversary of my grandfather's death, and gosh... grief is such a strange and beautiful and difficult and brutal thing. Totally agree more attention should be paid to it - us Americans do not do death well.
Also, re the parents. Like it was just obnoxious. There were 3 moms sitting behind me in their chairs and one mom was all normal voiced "oh they are social distancing in the dugout now? That's new" and one mom drops her voice to what I call Drunk Girl Whisper Volume "Well some parents complaiiiined about the games and how 'the rules' (she said it like it was a slur) weren't being followed" -- the other was all "Ohhhhh well I guess that's an opinion---" and this was where me with a tapping foot I turned around and said what I said. I'm not here for for that energy. I'm 43 and like mean girl energy? Get out of here with that.
I can literally picture this happening. It's giving me heart palpitations 🤣 (#enneagram9) You're a rock star.
Confession: I am not sure what my Enneagram is. I have taken a couple tests and some say I'm a 1, some say I'm a 3, I don't know. Whatever one isn't scared of confrontation and being ON IT. That's me. LOL
Really I think I'm just quickly becoming Ouiser Boudreaux from Steel Magnolias
This is straight enneagram 8 energy and I am HERE FOR IT (I'm also an 8 so I'm always here for it 😂)
HA! Well maybe I have some 8 in me too? I really need to take a clear test so I can see if I am something definitive.
Ouiser is a permanent 2020 mood.😂 Get outta here with the mean girl energy FOR REAL.👏
HA! Right? Ouiser is so my mood default. But again, Ouiser did fight for her people and that is me 100%. But oh lordy, when I heard those whispers that weren't whispers I was shocked I ONLY said "talk TO me" instead of all the screaming in my heart/head that was happening. That one sentence was me showing restraint. But yeaaaaah I don't see myself being invited to the post season BBQ (snorts).
I am so sorry about your Grandfather Hannah....
And yes, I think grief is still this weird thing that no one talks about, until you are IN it. Then the fellow members all come to you, like angels with wings (you know the pretty painter angels) and that murmur of the feathers seems to only be heard then....
But yes, our country. Especially now.
We need more respect for those in grief.
A colleague. He's going through the worst time with loss. And yes he got his five days....but he's basically being told "well you have vacation and sick time that you can use" -- like okay, so going through tragic loss, use your VACATION time. Because its a vacation? My goodness no.
I do think greater discussions about managing life after loss do need to be had.
Thanks, Mel. Yes re: not talking about it until you are in it. So true. If we talked about it more openly and treated it with more tenderness, maybe we would be able to walk through it with less shame and also know how to support or gosh, even just have comforting words those who ARE in it. I'm so sorry to hear about your colleague.
Yes, shame should never be associated with grief and its so sad that it is. We are a culture that rewards and celebrates life and milestones in life, but when that life ends...it often turns so hushed and quiet, we wear black, we cover the mirrors, we shutter the windows, we 'live' in gloaming. And feel we need to apologize for our pain and feelings. I just want to stand in front of all in that time and shield them, so they can take that time. It's this calling I can't seem to quiet right now. Again. I think I am now at that stage where I need to do more but I don't know how.
I sometimes think we need to return to Biblical grief and tear our clothes and sit in ashes. It’s ok to be a mess for awhile in grief and we need to do accept that more as a culture.
That is a blessing upon itself.
But yes the expectation for "normal" after it's all "done" is ridiculous.
Just like becoming a parent changes you on this cellular level, losing a loved one does the same to another degree.
I AM HERE FOR YOUR RULE FOLLOWING ENERGY, MEL. 👏
Only took me going to who WROTE the rules. I just called and asked if someone would want to stop by the games to see how teams are NOT adhering to any of the policies and if I could take back my waiver that I signed. Turns out, the coaches are just having to report weekly checking some box on a google doc that rules are being adhered to. I was all (to the Executive Director of the Youth Sports League Organization) "oh they checked a box did they? I also checked a box but I want to take it back, how do I do that? Oh the coaches said they were in compliance, that's great, but do you want the photos I have from games?"
I
BRING
RECEIPTS
Cue my husband in the background "oh this poor man brought a rubber knife to a a gun fight with you"
I love that song - that is a beautiful sign!
Thanks so much sweetie! And yes, I think the grief advocacy passion is only beginning.
Treasures this week are very inside baseball for our fam: the babies went to daycare this week and are doing great, momma and daddy are enjoying quiet WFH, both babies have slept through the night this week, and the toddler has stopped throwing a fit about going to the potty as soon as we get home and goes quietly and cheerfully now, for the most part.
Thanks for everyone sharing their favorite TikToks. It's a great way to start my Friday morning!
Just so you know how you have been the light of my life Erin: I work at a psychiatric office. Our office is in a complex that shares a wall with a little-old-lady type Salon. The salon has been there for 20 years, we have been in this office for 3 whole weeks. I do believe I have scared the bejesus out of those ladies with my off-key renditions of "Say No to This" from Hamilton and today, my loud gaffaws over that supidly great bird video (I have watched it multiple times). You should see the looks I get as I go unlock the front door in the morning. It gives me so much joy to cause such fear and confusion in these blue-haired octogenarians.
Kari, if this distracts the baby boomers from the coin crisis conspiracy, it will have been worth it.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 this has made me giggle uncontrollably
Happy Friday! Erin, I am excited to hear about what you've been working on!
Lily, oh, those crepe myrtles are so lovely.
My top treasure has already been mentioned, but it gave me so much joy that I am going to post it again - like, it made my Wednesday:
Dr. Fauci/Hamilton mash-up: https://twitter.com/aalkermd/status/1285561215117340673
I've been in a fiction rut, so I picked up The Bakeshop Mystery series by Ellie Alexander. I now want to visit Ashland, Oregon as soon as I can travel, and I want to bake all of the things. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21853681-meet-your-baker
Speaking of baking, I made Double Chocolate Zucchini Bread from the cookbook Midwest Made and my husband told me "this tastes like the best lava cake" so it was a big win. I checked out the cookbook from my library, but now I'm going to be purchasing. This is how my cookbook collection gets out of hand...
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/43885323-midwest-made
Finally, I am signed up for @busymamabookclub's summer book swap and I am SO excited to shop for my swap buddy. Shopping for books for people is so much fun to me. Maybe we need to start a Lil' Swipes book swap...
Have a great weekend everyone!
I’m in for a book swap - my favorite time of day is walking our old lady dog the 1/8 mile to the mailbox! ☺️
A book swap/swipe sounds awesome!
I love a book swap idea.
BOOK SWAPS. Yes. I'm in.
i consider a treasure share-again an upvote! and that zucchini bread sounds GREAT.
also super down for a Lil' Swipes book swap
Happy Friday Lil Swipes!
This week was a bit of a hot mess (hello extra mood-swingy toddler) but these were the treasures that helped make it work:
-Audio books. When I used to commute for work I was all about them and then slowly podcasts took over for books and I forgot that I loved them. Ironically a podcast, “Phoebe Reads a Mystery” got me back into them. On this podcast Phoebe Judge (ala Criminal Podcast fame) reads classic mystery detective novels, one chapter a day. Her voice is immensely soothing and the cozy British novels from Agatha Christie, Wilkie Collins etc., have been such a great listen.
-The book “The Heir Affair” by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan (The Fug Girls). It is the sequel to “The Royal We.” I am about 50% through, and it has been so fun catching up with Bex and Nick.
-Watermelon Smoothie: Combine fresh and frozen watermelon, the juice of one lime, mint leaves, honey, and a dash of salt in a blender. It is such a refreshing treat on hot summer afternoons.
My Mom’s 65th birthday is Sunday. It will be her first without my Dad, who passed away from renal cancer in January. I am trying to make it a happy day while geographically separated—thanks Covid. Wishing for all of us moments of celebration this weekend no matter our current circumstances.
All the love to you and your mom....
Thank you!
Yes to The Heir Affair!! I’m also halfway through it. It’s so fun to pick up a story where you already know the characters
Yes! It was definitely worth the wait.
Oh thinking about your sweet mom this weekend. ❤️
Thank you!
That smoothie sounds legit, and thinking of your mom and your fam this weekend 💕
Thank you!
Ahhh I didn’t know the sequel to Royal We had come out - that’s my all time favorite beach read rec! Going to order it now! And I am so sorry about your dad and how Covid makes painful things a million times worse. Holding space for you and your mom this weekend - you are not alone.❤️
Thank you! Yes you are in for a treat with the book!
You will love the book! Thanks for sharing the picture with Erin, that was so touching. My dad's bday was last week so it has been alot of feelings recently.
Thank you!
Thank you!
G‘Morning, Treasures!!
Now follow Zesty ginger cause, YAS to feminine mysteries being less mysterious!!!
I have a short workday today (Because of fun work related stuffs I have to do tomorrow) which means i have a day of reading in my new hammock ahead - followed by making dinner with my Boy (who continues to be my favorite Treasure, the gemiest gem to ever gem.)
I gave myself a COVID cut Wednesday, and now I have a pretty spiffy (if not a teensy bit uneven) lob, and the sheer act of snipping away at my hair was sooo cathartic.
This the office/Hamilton mashup has me giggling! https://vm.tiktok.com/JF3V9MR/
And this is my inner monologue/song at work most days https://vm.tiktok.com/JF3mCJD/
HEY SISTER GIRLYPOP. I *die* at Christian tiktok. https://vm.tiktok.com/JF3AYqk/
Reading in a hammock forever!!!!
We just got back from a week camping and my son didn't put the hammock back in our camper after he used it. I might have been mad at him the whole week. A week laying in a hammock in the mountains reading books was ALL I NEEDED. *sigh*
That last tiktok made my day 😂
Did I just audibly "AWWWW" Yes. Yes I did "gemiest gem to ever gem"
🚨 WE HAVE TRANSITIONED TO MY BOY! 🚨
yeaahhhhh 🥰
ALSO HOW COULD I FORGET! - finally watched the Hamil-film with my Boy (I've seen the touring show when it came to Memphis - the film was his first real exposure) . I had to promise I wouldn't sing the whole time, and he only had to remind me once. 😂 He's was a theatre and is all about the tech side of things so it was a great experience to have him comment on things like lighting , transition, framing etc, when usually I only think about words and story and pretty dresses 😄
YESSSSSSS
Emma Grace is definitely the perfect name haha!
“ the gemiest gem to ever gem” 🥺🥺 also thank you for the tiktoks 😂😂😂
Treasures:
- The new Taylor Swift!
https://www.instagram.com/p/CC3PWdon6DV/?igshid=rf2ba3gepxky - sea otters FTW forever
https://vm.tiktok.com/JF3fhyJ/ - he’s a keeper 😂
https://twitter.com/thecatwhisprer/status/1284643826469089280?s=21A
Turds:
School. I’m so tired of thinking about it. Social distancing will not be a thing anymore in a few weeks and I just don’t know anymore. My brain feels like a website that keeps trying to load and the circle just spins and spins and eventually it times out.
When I got out of bed a couple days ago, my youngest told me very sweetly that I looked like Hagrid’s wife, and I will never emotionally recover from this. Proud of his (unintentional) sick burn, motivated to get a haircut.
Amanda- that TIKTOK is exactly what I needed today!
Hagrid's. Wife. oh my word.
Out of the mouths of babes 😂🙈
Ok dying laughing at the wife TikTok AND your daughter's sick burn. Oh man. Grace and peace to you!
I MEAN. He also walked in on me getting dressed once and told me, sweetly and with zero malice, he was surprised I looked a lot fatter in my underwear. My ego is thoroughly in check.
AHHHH i cannot decide which is my favorite track on new t swift!
What are you thinking so far? Exile for sure. And Betty!
Epiphany just GRABS me immediately. Exile and Betty are so good, Mad Woman is sneaky good, and invisible string is * heart eyes *
Oh my, well the Taylor Swift album blew my mind and emptied my tear ducts this morning, so highly recommend that. A good vibe.
TikTok treasures coming back atcha:
Chick fil a Cares - https://vm.tiktok.com/JNaVAmw/
Duet if you know the song, wrong answers only edition - https://vm.tiktok.com/JFhcX18/
https://vm.tiktok.com/JFXuTtR/
https://vm.tiktok.com/JFpYsvV/
Mamma Mia movie rating scale - https://vm.tiktok.com/JFk2CP4/
CMMWWSCS - https://vm.tiktok.com/JFynXmj/
Vintage, but never fails to make me laugh - https://vm.tiktok.com/JRFdsM8/
If Celtic Woman covered Nicki Minaj - https://vm.tiktok.com/JFp5osp/
Dr Fauci gets the Hamilton treatment - https://vm.tiktok.com/JF39uDS/
The Celtic Woman covering Nicki Minaj. I am SPENT.
I loved the first duet because I was NOT expecting that, haha! Also loved the wife pranking her husband. It's good to start off Friday with a solid chuckle!
Right? I have been so delighted by everyone’s choices! The fun of tiktok - the collaboration and creativity that builds!
Dr. Fauci/Hamilton was one of my treasures this week. "All disaster movies start with a scientist being ignored." LOVE.
I watched it sooooo many times this week. It's too perfect.
I watched that like 8 times and got new joy every time I watched it.
FOR REAL - i just love that hamilton parodies are so part of general pop culture - we get the best things!
T-minus 30 minutes until I am alone in my car to listen to Taylor. SO PUMPED.
would love to hear your thoughts! epiphany GOT me
I'm currently on exile and MY HEART IS FEELING SO MANY FEELINGS and I love everything about it so far.
I’m saving Taylor for when I get off work early today and can jam around my house feeling feelings. I’m so excited!!!!!
good plan - the tears are sneaky and it is probably my favorite so far! (maybe just what we needed this year means it is the favorite)
Gah these are gold - the Christian mingle one!!🤣
It’s nice for her to enumerate the experiences I’m looking to avoid in dating 😂
Lots to be thankful for in the list this week. Thought I might add this TikTok if someone sing a Hamilton great over our beloved RBG. Made me smile on a day when it’s hard to get out of bed.
https://vm.tiktok.com/JF3y9Bx/
That made me smile too, Jessica!! Thank you for that!
Clearly it’s much too early for my brain. No coffee=no typing skills. Bless my brain. 😂
The only turd here was the very full of feelings 14 year old boy told me I was a terrible mother. Jokes on him he’s the third kid to tell me that so I’m not terrible concerned. It still stings a bit but I must remind myself that his feelings are his and not really a reflection on me.
Treasures: After almost 5 months of trying to figure out how to work from home, with all the kids home. I have cracked the code. It involves paying cash money to the older kids to watch the younger ones in two spurts!
https://www.facebook.com/1608225820/posts/10220565489679722/?d=n
This video has brought me so much joy! If I could figure out a way to share from some where else other than FB I would. I’m sorry in advance that you’ll have to go over to the dumpster fire that is FB.
Oh one more thing, my mom who has recently fallen hard into all the conspiracy theories like super hard, tried to explain the coin crisis to me. Telling me we were all about to be tracked. I then had to explain to her how her smart phone works! Which I then got a terrible case of the giggles , she got mad and hung on me!!
The coin crisis, ugh!
I know!! Calm down! It’s not an actual crisis. Let’s save the word crisis for real ones!
Pantsuit politics podcast has a very good note on conspiracy theories and how to manage. They specifically talk about the Wayfair thing (oh LORD). It’s in the first 20 mins. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pantsuit-politics/id1055348656?i=1000485264151
If you were all wondering, btw, the wayfair thing is not real. A friend of mine works there leading their social media and woof her work life right now is a dumpster fire
Oh bless your friends heart! She is a true hero! I work in social media, in good times it’s a hassle and I’m sure it’s a hot mess in crisis! I have explained the wayfair miss truth 1 zillion times to my mom! I’ve also said “Facebook is not a news source,ma!’
Conspiracy theories have caused me to threaten to change my parents Facebook passwords about 3 times this week. I’m willing to block it on their computer if it comes to it!
What a great idea!!!! LOL!
I support this plan!!
I hope you literally told your son that he's the third child to say that so you're not concerned, haha.
I did tell him that while I loved him, he wasn’t doing to great a job at being a son so we were even.😉 I’ve giving up on college savings and am directing all extra funds to their therapy funds.
Do we get to a point in life where we lose our filter for conspiracy theories? Like they gradually sound less ridiculous? I just don’t get how people see them as remotely realistic. 🙈🤦🏻♀️
Also I hear you on the kids with big feelings - on Monday, my 3 year old, in his attempt to say the worst thing possible to me, yelled, “YOU ARE GOING TO POOP.”
What a 3 year old move!!!
I am now officially going to tell everyone that makes me angry that they are going to poop. I need to reign in my tongue so this could be a good alternative. Although it's a turd, it's a treasure in my book!
Oh gosh, I cracked up as soon as he said it. Now that I'm thinking about it, I need to write it down 😂 Glad you can take it and make it your own. He would be very proud of himself knowing he gave you this gift.
You are going to poop! I die!
I don’t know! But I have talked my mom off the dang ledge of conspiracy theories more times in the last six months! I told my older brother that he owes big time!! I think 2020 is what everyone thought Y2K was suppose to be and all that left over energy came to the surface!
Oh my word. I feel the same way about my dad. It makes me giggle. And miss him.
There is a trend of older women on Tiktok apologizing for being responsible for the coin shortage due to having to pay their swear jars 😂😂
I'm an old Lutheran church lady, we collect change called mites for missionary work. The running joke in Lutheran circles is that we are responsible because we haven't been able to turn our mites in for months!!
bahahah that is wonderful!
Haha!!!
This whole thread is making me laugh so hard! My mom called last week to tell me she couldn't get into her banking account. She only lives a mile from me so I drove over to help her and got right in. Earlier that day I nearly blocked her on Facebook for sending me conspiracy theory posts. And info on how masks are killing us all. She has't hung upon me though. Yet.
Theres still half a year left! 😂
This week, I was helping my mom with technical issues over the phone and I said, “we don’t give up just because things are hard or frustrating,” (even though I was doing almost all of it so don’t know why she was so frustrated. And my mom responded,”yes we do!” 🤦🏻♀️
It’s the worst! I’ve legit yelled “click the damn button, mom!”
The most random treasure right now is my 22 mo old’s obsession with the song The Little Drummer Boy (which she became obsessed with probably at the very moment that Jamie was recording that she was canceling Christmas music). I’m honestly not 100% sure where she heard it for the first time- I think I may have started to panic sing it when I was trying to out-sing both my kids crying about something? She now keeps running up to me and saying “Mommy, sing pum pum pum” and requesting to watch it on YouTube when she’s tired of my version.
Literal turd at dinner last night. I usually try to not be looking at my phone too much while we’re at the table, but my friends are in the midst of trying to plan a meal for the memorial service for our dear friend’s father (who just passed away from Covid on Tuesday). Lots of texting and voxing and staring at my phone until my husband said “uh- what’s she eating?!” Looked over to see the 15 mo old is LITERALLY EATING POOP. A giant turd must have squeezed out the side of her diaper and down her leg, so, naturally, you put your hand in it and eat it... 😳🤢
Oh my Lord.
Had a similar situation with my kiddo but it was not eating ... just pulling it out of her diaper.
I’m sorry for your friend’s loss :(
Your daughter is channeling some good Angela Martin from The Office with the Little Drummer Boy and I approve.
Hahaha! 😂 I completely forgot about Angela karaoking (is that a word?!) along to Little Drummer Boy. We may have a Halloween costume idea!
Omg 😂🙈 Once my girlfriend was hiking on vacation with her kids, and she saw her toddler had something in her mouth...it was poop she found in the woods. RANDOM WILD ANIMAL POOP. 🤢😭 Whyyyy do they do these things? That is so sweet about her pum pum pum song!
Seriously?! I’m hoping that maybe she learned her lesson now? 🤦🏻♀️
Right?! Kids are so precious and so disgusting.😂
Oh no!!!! I once accidentally as a grown a** adult ate poop. So it happens. I’m so sorry about your friends father.
Thank you (both for the hope that my kid will survive eating 💩and for your sympathy). Losing a parent is such a hard thing in the best of times, but to have to walk through it now, in the midst of isolation... it’s a whole other level.
CANNOT WAIT to see what you have up your sleeve!!
I stayed up late watching Palm Springs (treasure) and was rewarded with getting this newsletter before sleeping. When I learned of John Lewis passing I could not stop crying. I loved him so much. I do not want to live in a world where someone else must take up the mantle of reminding me of all the hope and love and goodness that can exist in a person.
Palm Springs! I watched that this week too and it was fantastic!
Did you listen to the The Daily podcast were they announced the measure in his honor? The women who read the measure for the record began crying. It was such a sweet moment. ❤️
I did not but I’ll look for it - thanks!
This is what covid nightmares are made of.
I live in fear of this 😳😳
Trevor Noah’s stand up on Netflix is one of my faves.
I’d love to know all your stand up faves!
I love the long reply! Upon further reflection, I enjoy comedians who riff on every day life, but I also cannot resist ridiculous voices/characters. Call me immature but here I am :)
"deeply unsettling in his sexual magnetism" is the PERFECT way to describe Adam Driver.
Just finished Indian Matchmaking last night. Loved it. Wished it had a few more episodes!
Logan Lucky is one of my favorites. I weirdly love Daniel Craig with a southern accent (Knives Out is also a fave), even if it is terrible.
I didn’t really get in to stand up until my husband started forcing me to watch some specials 😅 BUT I have come to call Mike Birbiglia my fave stand up comedian. My husband and I saw him live a few years ago for “The New One” & he was truly fantastic.
I love Mike Birbiglia. He's definitely more of a story-teller comedian and I really appreciate that. The one about his baby had my husband and I crying laughing.
This makes a ton of sense to me & is helping me put words to why I may or may not like someone’s comedic style. Veryyyyy interesting.
As you’re doing your comedian survey, would highly recommend the podcast Good One. The host has comedians on and interviews them about their process and the story of a particular joke - very good!
You are not weird. I don't see it either.
That expression. I’m cackling. 😂
I've been putting off making a decision for this very reason. Maybe holding out hope the school district will just do the right thing (of course we might have differing opinions on what that is). But mostly just procrastinating.
I love hearing 9's stretching and advocating for themselves! Well done!
Hello, fellow enneagram 9 here... I 100% understand the frustration that comes with spending your dwindling energy on a decision that then ends up being made for you. Sometimes that can be nice, but it is super frustrating to feel depleted for no good reason. I'm not a parent, so I can't imagine having to make that decision. Proud of you for sticking it out!
I made our school decision way back in July, but I kept hoping for the best. Mostly because I am a one and need a plan on how to manage this school at home situation.
Yay for being seen and loved in your Enneagram 9-ness!!❤️ I feel you on the school decision - I still change my mind literally every day.🙈
Dropping in to say so proud of you for having a hard convo!
I made squash casserole a week ago and ate the whole thing. I’m the only one who eats it, and having to eat the whole thing doesn’t hurt my feelings at all 😂 I’m glad I’m not the only one who loves it.
I didn't know how much I needed Princess Beatrice's wedding this week!
Lily, I’ve wanted to reach out to you as I follow in here each week, but I’m still a hesitant poster. But I lost my dad unexpectedly 2.5 years ago and then my husband lost his dad a year later. I have felt so much for you and just wanted you to know you’ve been in my thoughts.
And your comments are a DELIGHT!
Also, redi whip in coffee is true therapy! Should that go on my grocery list this week?
Also, my grandma passed away a month ago and though it was very different because she was 97 and lived a great life and had really deteriorated, out last 4 months with her and our goodbyes were stolen by Covid. So, I’m so extra sorry for that heaping load of extra pain on top of the deep grief. But these blooms...❤️❤️❤️
Yes, just TOO MUCH!
I don’t know...that seems like a healthy amount to me!
Lily, will you remind us of the family quote that came from your parents Nursery Business? I think the one you had engraved for your Mom -- if I'm remembering correctly??
The trees!! That made me cry for you - how beautiful and soul restoring is that?! And Tyler! 🤣🤣🤣
The blooms are lovely, and I would love your chic country playlist!
Ditto that, what’s your playlist??
This playlist is wonderful! Thank you!
I dug through the comments for this link so fast. This is right up my alley. Thank you!
ZERO judgment - i am so looking forward to jamming to this. Thank youuuuuu
I also loved Princess Beatrice’s dress! The pictures of them peeking out of that doorway?! 😍
And the crepe myrtles ❤️ I love when God gives us such sweet, unexpected treasures
The blooms were spectacular! I’m so excited about your house too! I expect to see loads of photos on insta.
Chris. He had really good hair! He is now a reporter for a New York TV station (and no lie, has won awards for local news reporters with the best hair, lol). As the mom to a current 12 year old boy, I truly had no idea how clueless they really are.
Griffin. He had a floppy bowl cut. 🤦♀️