Iāve been thinking a lot these past couple of weeks about how we act on the internet. Especially during the pandemic, Iāve noticed that social media has become a crucial means of connection, as well as a way to signal your thoughts and opinions aboutā¦all of the things. This, obviously, isnāt new and it certainly isnāt rocket science, but itās gotten more intense because of THE ELECTION REGISTERED TRADEMARK. Please let Lin tell you something:
Anyway, weāre not gonna talk about that but I would like to propose some general conduct rules for engaging on social media, especially in these (say it with me) unprecedented times. I know Iām pretty much preaching to the crowd here, but this helped me narrow down what I will give energy and thought to, and what I will not be trifling with.
First interactions should not be aggressive. A scenario: Iāve posted something you vehemently disagree with. Probably the fact that High School Musical 2 is the superior of the franchise. Youāre upset because you (wrongly) think HSM3 is the best. Should the first thing you ever say to a stranger be any iterations of the following: you are disgusting, what a trash opinion, Zac Efron would be ashamed of you, hahah only stupid people believe this, you need to pray, what a joke? No. Because this is literally the first time youāve ever said something to me. Iām not against discussion. I welcome it! But you lose all credibility when your first rattle out of the cage is just straight up rude. As a side note: do not send strangers any kind of image that youād not want your child to see. Ever.
āHave you consideredā¦?ā Itās not like I woke up one morning and thought, āYou know what? I want to piss a bunch of internet strangers off today. I think Iāll make up some stupid stance about HSM 2 and just kind of see what happens!ā No. I have studied these films. I have considered that Night to Remember is a great ensemble piece, but if weāre looking at factors like energy, songwriting, chemistry, lyrics, choreography, and vibe, we all know that Work This Out is superior. I actually HAVE put thought into this opinion or belief that I hold. Maybe even as much as you have. I have just as much of a thoughtful and considered interior life as you do, so can we not assume everyone who doesnāt line up with our beliefs is inherently stupid or hasnāt done the work to get to where they are? Can we at least be that respectful to each other?
Assign positive intent. This isnāt new but if weāre building a Ten (update: it ended up at seven) Commandments of Being a Person on the Internet, it simply must be included. Did I say that High School Musical 2 or even High School Musical the original was bad? No. All I did was say HSM 3 is (IMO) the best. When we willfully and obstinately read Big Opinionsā¢ļø on the Internet, it is the easiest thing to let your brain fill in the blanks of what this person isnāt saying or is saying between the lines. Donāt do that. Because while itās exhausting and overwhelming to be a person who has to constantly give caveats and clarifications because āyou didnāt even talk about iZombie!ā it is just bad reading comprehension on your part. I also donāt think itās good for your soul to assume the worst out of everyone until they prove it to you. Then, you should go right on ahead.
The Real Life Test. Itās a good idea to run anything youāre planning to say on the Internet through the filter of āWould I say this in real life, straight to the personās face?ā Go back to first interaction rule. Would you ever go up to a stranger in line at the coffee shop and say, āWow I hear you think Bet On It is a masterpiece, have you considered The Boys Are Back or do you just hate God?ā Probably not. And if you would, well, I went to cotillion and I know thatās bad manners so maybe talk to Jesus.
Supplemental reading. Weāre all sharing things on the internet. Thatās what itās for. Iām into having things shared with me. If I share an article about how HSM 3 is inherently too polished and therefore loses the joy of the first two, and you want to share that one article about how HSM 2 was abusive to golf courses, thatās fine. But no one has time to be given homework assignments from someone with no context for them. Does my dear friend who knows me and my heart want to have a conversation about the abuse of golf courses? Letās chat about that over drinks, looking at each other, face-to-face, with a history of love and understanding for one another.
Contextualize. If you donāt follow me, you donāt know about my love of the High School Musical franchise. You donāt know that I saw HSM 3 in the theater by my own grown, mortgage-paying self four times. You donāt know the pride I took in my parenting when my eldest daughter could fast-forward HSM 2, land perfectly on the beginning of Fabulous, and sing the whole song with choreography. You donāt know that Iāve sat through all of Zac Efron getting excited about water on that one show. You donāt know who I am, or what Iām about, so when you come at me like: Kenny Ortega is ashamed of you, you donāt know I am Kenny Ortegaās biggest fan. The man made Newsies! Iāve seen the Michael Jackson documentary BECAUSE of Kenny Ortega. I once wrote a paper IN COLLEGE about his body of work. Heās an American hero who has choreographed THE Olympics. I am deeply entrenched in Kenny Ortega, maāam. Please understand who I am and what I stand for before you tell me I am a disappointment to Kenny Ortega.
Anti-dehumanize. The worst (and I truly mean this the worst) thing we can do is dehumanize anyone who disagrees with us. Treating a person like they are stupid, demeaning them, dismissing them, villianizing them, itās all destructive. Am I hurt when you call me *checks notes* āhuman trashā because of my HSM stances? Yes. But you also lose a little part of your soul (like a Horcrux!) because youāve decided to look past someoneās humanity and see them as a post or a status. This is so easy here in the wild west of the internet. But actively denying the urge to hold someone in contempt and disgust for believing in something is an excellent soul workout. Itās like HIIT for the soul. Itās very intense, and there are too many burpees, but it gets the job done.
Okay. Well. I obviously had some feelings about that, but I just think if we could keep some of these in mind, we might be better off and maybe not want to drink bleach every time we log on.
Some treasures, yes?
ā¤ļø If you are old hat around here, youāve no doubt been encouraged by Amanda W. in the comments. Last week, she shared in the thread that she and her daughter were involved in a car accident. We chatted and she gave me permission to share some ways we can come around her and offer support. So if you are looking for a way to do that, here are two ways:
Purchase a copy of Amandaās novel. This would be a great way to generate some cash for them, as well as getting to enjoy a new book! You can purchase that here.
If you are looking for a way to give more directly, Amandaās Venmo is watersamanda.
āØ This week we launched Comfortable Together, and I just cannot tell you what a balm itās been. Instead of doom-scrolling at night (I just do it at lunch!), Iām reading and praying over the thoughtful, challenging, and honest commentary that people are offering in the private group. If youāre a part of whatās happening over there, thank you. As always, we continue to do this together.
š³ As we inch closer to the election here in the US, I know weāre all sick to death of election talk (so close, guys) but Iām seeing a few really thoughtful pieces Iād like to share. I have so much respect for Michael Wear (I was introduced to him because he wrote a heck of a forward for The Liturgy of Politics by Kaitlyn Schiess) and his measured thoughts here. A good pull-quote:
āIf Biden wins this election, and I believe he should, there will be real disagreements that will need to be worked out through the political process. Those of us who support Biden in this election must stand ready to advocate on those issues where we disagree with him. This is the work of politics.ā
šŗšø One of my favorite resources for elections is vote411.org - it does a great job of breaking down whatās on your ballot in a clear, concise way. Look at all these important things on my ballot that I would have had no idea how to vote on!
Itās become my pre-election week ritual (add cookies and bourbon for maximum enjoyment).
š„« I have just a few kitchen gurus, and Bri McKoy is one of them. She released The Sauce ebook and it is so good. Iāve already tried the peanut lime soy sauce and my kids thought I was a wizard.
Beloveds, if you have any additional Internet Rules to add, I would love to hear them along with your treasures. I hope you have a lovely weekend and I canāt wait to see what youāve cooked up.
If you like The Swipe Up, will you share The Swipe Up? I sometimes slide into your DMs with a treat, but mostly Iām eternally grateful to you.
I am sure someone else mentioned this, but the link to Bri McKoy's sauce ebook does not work, and I cannot seem to find out where it is. Any one out there to help me?? I need SAUCE.
Hi, friends! If me not getting to the comments until Monday isn't enough of an indication of how last week/weekend went, I'll tell you: reaaaaal rough, y'all. But we're here and I made it.
We are preparing to move - again, for the second time in two months. Our house ended up being ready far sooner than we expected and so we'll be moving out of the temporary place soon. We are stressing out about all of the financials of moving again so soon when we thought we had several more months (water, etc. deposits, renting the moving truck, taking time off work to move) The moving is going to be the worst but the new house will be the best.
I've been sleeping terribly and am on week two of a med adjustment and I am not loving it. I've swapped to half caf coffee at the suggestion of my doctor who also suggested I cut dairy and gluten so I'm a real peach to be around right now. But, I do feel mildly better so I guess I'll count it as a win.
Some treasures!
-Jillian's playlist! I missed this when it was originally shared but found it again in this week's comments and it has been the soundtrack to my work day. I'll take any available serotonin everytime.
-Great British Bake Off!!! Y'all. I love the Brits and I love baking and I had somehow not jumped onto this train yet. I put on Nadia's cooking show one day and then realized she was from GBBO so I was curious. The mini-recaps from Jamie and Knox had me sold. My dude bff and I now have a standing Friday night date and are all in on Team Lottie.
-My cat. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but we took my sister's cat in for a (supposedly) temporary time. There is no way my husband will agree to give him back at this point and I am inclined to agree. Please enjoy these to moments.
-My library system got a huge grant for programming but COVID made that not possible and so now we get to use those funds for new books and I've been able to suggest diverse YA titles and it's like Christmas around here. A true treasure in the overwhelming day-to-day of working in a public library these days.
-Alicia Key's new memoir, but on audiobook!! If you've got access to your library's audiobooks or if you buy them, for sure check this one out.
-I snagged a copy of Hocus Pocus and Sleepy Hollow from our library donations shop.
-The We Got You Club. Y'all, I've been blessed by it before but I spent some time looking around to see if there was anything non-financial I could help with and there were several! I'm able to send a teacher a slew of YA books that got sent to me from publishers (I'm a librarian, and on an award committee). It feels so wonderful to be able to help someone else.
In not really life crushing news but still important, I checked "links & such" from Insta highlights, do you have an affiliate or the like code for Olive & June? I mean, if I'm going to buy anyway...
A rule I'd add is that it's actually totally normal for people to have different opinions about the same facts. I worked in the home department at a Fred Meyer every summer in college and I remember one day a co-worker saying that the nighttime tidy of the toy section was "the worst." I disagreed very offhandedly (I'm an e9; I never look for confrontation intentionally š) and said I actually liked the toy section better than housewares. These were apparently fighting words. She could not let that opinion stand! She reminded me that it's always the most messed up section. That some action figures have the same upc but look completely different so you have to read the upc on each one! And don't get her started on the Lego wall! But the thing was, although everything she said was true--it was easily the messiest and most challenging section--it was also always the most interesting section to me. I didn't mind that I had to use my brain sometimes and the variety of products was just fun. I didn't mind it. What I didn't like was that the housewares section was so boring and so huge. And yet she was weirdly insistent that toys were factually the worst--not just for her, but for everybody. I think about that interaction a lot, even ten years later. The stakes were exceedingly low (and it was in fact in her favor for someone to like toys more than she did so she wouldn't have to do it) yet she could not concede that my opinion was legitimate. I sometimes wonder what that former coworker has been up to on social media lately. š Bless her.
No new ideas here, just an Aha moment Iāll share. For the past 5 years a sweet woman has been coming to weekly visit my mom. Mom is in hospice now and caring for her is both a privilege and a huge emotional drain, so the weekly visits offer me a break.
This week when Momās friend came to visit, she talked to Mom about the current political situation. She and I are worlds apart on our views and I found myself getting angry inside. But then I thought about this friendās consistency in visiting Mom, and her kindness and attention sheās shown to my mom. She isnāt some evil awful person. I so often want to throw my hands up in disgust at those who think differently especially when it comes to politics. But this week I was reminded of what I already knew intellectually: wonderful people are on both sides of the aisle.
Someone I've been in a book club with, met a few times, and interact with occasionally due to working for the same organization posted on her FB about some political views that were so opposite of what I believe and what I expected from her and I had a very similar Aha moment. It's so hard, but it made me remember we are all humans and it is never black and white.
So this week has been very hard. I think for us the cumulative stress of constant uncertainty and waiting reached a tipping point. Weāre still hopeful about being able to return to France in the next 6 months, but I worry so much about the kids falling behind in school. I worry Iām not g teaching them French adequately enough!
A turd: my grandmother passed away. I guess technically of COVID. Sheās been in a nursing home for many years (5+ years). She took a turn 2 weeks ago and then passed away. She tested positive but didnāt have the symptoms, she was just unresponsive. So I guess that will count as COVID, but sheās been declining for years because Of Alzheimerās. Though It was a lovely funeral. My husband preached the message. And it was so nice to see family. It was a small gathering.
Treasure: my cousin brought her golden retriever who is 18 months old with her to see family. It was so fun to have a puppy around thatās also full grown. Heās so sweet! He doesnāt settle for simple belly rubs, this puppy insisted on full body hugs!! Gah! I could have played with him all day.
Oh, friend. I am so sorry for your loss. I have a grandparent who is declining and just the thought brings so much grief. I am grateful you were able to celebrate her life with family though.
Please don't worry yourself too much over your kids falling behind in school. Their mental and physical health is so much more important this year, as is yours. As far as learning French - I'm not sure where you're at now, but the library system I work for (and most libraries) have a language learning website/app that you can access for free with your library card - maybe something like that would help y'all?
All they praise for puppies! We are getting one after we are moved and settled into our new house and I can't wait. Full body puppy hugs are the legit best.
I'm sorry about all the uncertainty you're facing right now, and hope you can go back to France soon! And I am sorry for your loss, but glad you were able to spend some time with family.
Treasures: Comfortable Together - such good timing and beautiful fellowship! Also, physically distanced coffee on my porch with three neighbors this morning and we discussed the ballot issues for Colorado and our county. It felt good to be engaged citizens!
I haven't seen it either!! I think I was just a smidge too old when it came out so I missed that window of watching it. My younger sister though? She loved them.
And if you feel like it and want the true premiere experience as originally broadcast on Disney Channel, you can watch it one night and the following night, add subtitles and do the singalong!
Two simple notes for me this week. Iāve felt scattered. š¤Ŗ
ā Treasure is *for sure* The Comfortable Words conversation and the readings themselves. Yes, itās been a balm.
ā Trash is that I didnāt pre-order this Baby Yoda ornament last week before release and the price immediately went up on release day. š I donāt have a Hallmark store nearby and the price is irksome (read: prohibitive). I wants it! ā¹ļø
š±š¤š„° I canāt even imagine! Actually, itās probably a lot like the retired merchandise store for Disney employees. Heaven, but also a crap shoot on what youāll find. š But if you do find a great deal on Baby Yoda, Iād be very impressed!
Ugh. I totally forgot my greatest Treasure this week! My mom and I finally got to visit the grandniece and grandnephew. I miss not being able to cuddle them, but the baby girl is 2 years old now and so.very.active. It was the best frenetic energy and much needed for our own joy. We brought her bday gift and she immediately started carrying it around, and my heart was just so full. š„°
Does anyone know about Sight and Sound Theatre in Lancaster, PA? We recently watched their production of ESTHER online (stunning) and I had to buy the sweet little doll for the baby girl.
I live in Lancaster š The business I work for is member of the tourism board, and every year Sight & Sound does super discounted tickets for employees of all businesses that are members. I was really looking forward to watching Esther, but our tickets were for March 17, so that didnāt happen. Whomp whomp. Hopefully someday it will work to see it!
My best friend is from Red Lion and told me about the JESUS production being shown on TBN network last Easter (Iām in Texas), and I was immediately charmed. Weāve since watched JONAH and then ESTHER, but will watch everything we can when possible. [My mom dominates the TV. š]
Iām just so impressed with the productions! ESTHER had such a sprawling set and was rich in color, of course, but it also felt different in rhythm and storytelling. We loved it. I hope yāall get a chance to see it next year. I canāt imagine theyāll move on to other productions until audiences have a chance to come.
I think the greatest thing is the ability to see and enjoy things without leaving home and itās very cool that you are in Texas but still can enjoy a show in Lancaster!
It has been a while since I visited but I assume itās still there - itās actually in Strasburg. There are a lot of wonderful things to see in that part of PA.
Left work almost an hour later than planned due to IT issues.
Is this some universe flex because I called out the same IT dept for how they have been asking my team members on off shifts for their passwords and I called out their Ish?
It snowed here today.
I sent Danielle some proof
But now its sunny?
Again, big flex universe for showing we can indeed have all the seasons in one hour.
So.
This week was a lot. I'm not sure what was happening but it was like I couldn't quite get my usual focused bearings. It was like that jar of jam where the lid wasn't quite aligned to the threads and ridges but you sort of screwed it on anyway? That is my feeling about this week.
I was on 'the verge' of so many emotions all week
Where I cried from that feeling of relating to so much. Where I cried from frustration, relief, rage, wanting to do more, helplessness, wishing teleportation was a thing.
I have a SUPER short commute to the office (about 1.5 miles), basically 3 stop signs and 4 stop lights. But just enough of a commute to cry this morning while singing along with Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" this morning
I know I wanted a "chill" weekend, but this was not what I had in mind. In October. *laughs*
I plan to bring knitting, books and catch up on podcasts.
But I was SO happy to see my dad text me and say he got last minute vaca days for 2 of the days we will be there. And Saturday he's bringing take out from...
I didn't even make my typical list of all the things this week. But I want to toss out some big time amazing moments off the cuff.
1. Losing my Ish in a good way over Saucy Puds, watching the Bachelorette Live (HIMMMMBOS HIIIMBO HIIIMBO!), and then the recaps. Between Popcast and I Hate Green Beans, the recaps might make me break a rib giggling.
2. Cobra Kai
3. Finishing 2 scarves and mailing them to Swipers (Lydia and Kelise, watch your mail next week!)
4. Staring hats for another Swiper (Sarah!) and a shawlette (Sharon)
5. Costco & Trader Joe Macarons
6. The friends I am really solidifying through this community. The hope of new friends I am making here. This corner of the internet gives me a level of hope that I cannot thank y'all enough for
I've only been in this comment community for a bit now but the feeling of community and friendship is so wonderful. I have struggled so much with friendship as an adult and this little group is such a soothing balm to my soul.
I started watching GBBO because of the Popcast recaps and absolutely got my dude BFF invested and we are ALL IN. We now have a standing Friday night date and we are full speed rooting for Lottie. He wants to marry her, I'd like to apply for the position of her bff.
I'm so sorry its going to snow. I haven't tried Costco macarons but I have tried their wine- its good! I'm always impressed with those who can knit, crochet or cross stitch. Those seem like grand skills, that I don't have. I'm suppose to be editing but the noise outside my door is a situation. Have a great weekend my friend!
Also, Fast Car. Yes. Walks around the block with good music & deep breaths have saved me this week. I hope you have a lovely weekend in Duluth, Mel, and I hope you can find your bearings again in the coming days!
I need more of them to go away because sadly I only know Dale because he's Dale lol and Josef because of his big needs to be punched face energy LOL --but cute (canadian) first one to get a real smoochy smoochy guy was cute. Can't remember his name because I wasn't yelling at the screen for him to shut up. Also, love Eazy! His pink suit "is this a potluck?" energy? I'm a fan! lol
Okay, so, cute Canadian cute that got the first smooch is forrrr sure cute, but y'all what was it with him practically eating his lip while Clare was talking to him?! I want to like him, but that was just a little too much š
I am also here for Eazy's energy and commentary.
Yosef should have gotten sent home instead of Tyler. Co-sign Knox and Jamie calling him a used vampire car salesman.
HA oh my word this is so good. I am also an Eazy fan. He's going to be so fun for this season. I think smoochy smoochy Canadian guy was one of the Blakes!? Maybe the one with the dog that howls on command??
Hi friends! My treasure is that I am house-sitting this weekend and recorded about 10 Hallmark movies on their TV to binge as I finish first quarter grades and do just about nothing else this weekend. I don't have cable, so Hallmark all weekend has become my house-sitting tradition. I love some high caliber, thoughtful movies and TV, but I also LOVE the rules and patterns of a Hallmark movie. Anyone else?!
Have you listened to Deck the Hallmark podcast? It's three guys (who are local to me, upstate SC) who watch EVERY new Hallmark Christmas movie and then podcast about it. One guy hates the movies, one guy loves them... it's PRICELESS fun.
I love those guys! I might like listening to their recaps better than i like watching the movies. (I have a very similar feeling about the PopCast Bachellor recaps)
Ha! My process is very nuanced. Find the channel, record the next movie, and watch it. Expect some combination of small town, big city, tough (but not actually tough) guy or gal, sensitive guy or gal, baked goods, seasonal merriment, slightly inconvenient misunderstanding, and a G-rated smooch. To quote podcaster Danny Pellegrino, "5 stars but also 1 star" is the vibe.
Um, treasures...Iāve been reading a lot and watching Schittās Creek, which took me a while to get into, but I fell in love at the season two finale and Iām now parceling out the remaining episodes to get me through 2020.
My almost seven year old daughter has been very helpful and just maturing a lot lately and thatās neat to see.
So, turd...I was going to say that a treasure has been our new Collie pup, Moony. Sheās adorable and cute and full of personality. Sheās also been throwing up since we got her two weeks ago. My husband took her to a vet today (ours is closed because somebody tested positive for Covid-19) and it turns out she has an esophageal condition that likely means she will have a short (and difficult) life span. Guys, we love her, but we canāt do this again. We literally had to put our last puppy down in January for a crippling genetic deformity. My husband and I are heartbroken and our kids are going to be heartbroken no matter what we do. Weāre trying to see now if the breeder will take her back because we just...we canāt do this again. 2020 man. It sucks. If you pray, please pray for us to make the right decision and...I donāt even know.
This week I am particularly grateful for the lectio 365 app and the comfortable words by Erin. I've been listening to each daily and they have been a balm to my spirit.
I had blood tests and a flu jab yesterday so am very grateful for the NHS and the fact that I could get the flu jab in out local supermarket pharmacy for Ā£8.
This week was the last series of Kipo and the Wonderbeasts and it was such a good ending. If you have children or just like a sweet programme then the investigators on Netflix is for you. Lastly, I've been watching Columbo from the start and it's so good. Highly recommended.
On social media etiquette I'd add if you imagine what you are posting is to your beloveds it often gives you pause as to how to phrase your words. And I try to go with the is this good, is this true is this helpful? For both what I post and what I consume. It really has made a difference.
And I now I said lastly but I've just remembered something. If you're able to listen to it on BBC Radio 2 they have a daily pause for thought where someone of faith (or no faith) gives a commentary less than 3 minutes of something they've learned and it is always good and often thought provoking. I hope you all have the best weekend possible.
Do I remember correctly that the daily pause on BBC radio is how we ended up with some of CS Lewis books? That they were transcribed and expanded? I might be crazy.
The guy who has done the scripture reading on Lectio 365 this week sounds like my church's youth pastor, and what a freaking delight! Also thank you for Pause for Thought! (for my fellow non-Brit residents, https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p015nm0y)
I loved Happy Days. He came to the UK and did a pantomime one year and I don't think I've ever been more excited to see someone (bar Terry Pratchett at a book signing).
Lil Swipes! What a week it's been. Idk about you but when people come for those I love on the internet, I turn into an unhealthy enneagram two (which doesn't make any sense because I am a 1w9) so I've ordered more books and clicked on more links and saved more instagram posts than ever before.
1. Erin, I am working on a guidance lesson for middle schoolers on how to communicate well virtually and wow you have provided quite a framework. My current hypothetical argument is ehh, so I think I may change to something dated (to them) and pop culture-y to spark their interest. Kids love nothing more than being put in a position where they can call me lame.
2. (TW: Having children, family planning- I know that Infant Loss Awareness Day was this week and want to be sensitive to that) The āChildless Millennialā episode of the Be There in Five podcast has helped put a voice to so much of what Iāve been feeling over the past year. I told my husband last month, āI wish everybody would just stay out of my uterusā. Meaning, I have a lot of folks in my life who love me, care about me, know that I want to have kids sometime in life, but wonāt stop it with the pressure. HELLO Iām 3/4ths of the way through grad school! Would you let me enter the desired job market for just a brief moment before I start growing a whole entire human inside of me?! Iāve now taken to interviewing people that have kids but havenātā¦ suddenly turned into people who think they hung the actual moon in the skyā¦ and asked them how they did that. The staying grounded. The not being infuriating. Not turned into those vending machine aliens from Toy Story with their child being the equivalent of Buzz Lightyear. THEY HAVE NO ANSWERS. This is like when Sooki was 28 months pregnant like an elephant in Gilmore Girls and got mad thinking that all mom were keeping the birth-giving secrets from her. Ugh anywho... Happy to read any and all thoughts that anyone has to share on this, as a parent or non-parent.
3. The above two should probably reveal to you that I amā¦ a budding counselorā¦ who is extremely in need of my own personal counseling. Donāt worry, Iām in the process of fixing that.
4. Dick Johnson is Dead. It was Jamie's green light either this week or last. I walked through dementia and the eventual passing of my grandmother a few years ago, and have married into a family where they have never experienced either of those- but are starting to. I've recommended it to all of my sis/bro-in-laws because it is great for processing feelings but also a great example of how to deal with someone whose memory is changing. The daughter is fantastic in the way she speaks to her dad and others. Highly recommend watching now even if you think it doesn't relate to your experiences and then watching again later if those topics become relevant to your life.
Adrienne- I get the pressure to not be single (GAH) -- my parents lay it on so thick. Obviously, they can't push the babies since I'm perpetually single, but it exists deep down. Do they think I *WaNt* to be alone forever? I've decided that I don't need to have biological children to live a fulfilling life. I'm 35 and I'm ok with that decision. It's encouraging to hear from more people who are choosing similar paths.
Also loved that ep of BTIF. It reminded me so much of the convos Iāve had with my good friend who is child-free and killing her career but also wants/is scared of having kids at 33.
Iām 31 and have 3 kids and try to consider myself grounded? Not gonna lie, a lot of our life revolves around them because the sheer amount of time it takes to care for them at 3 and 5.5 months. But I hope I donāt act like the *world* revolves around them? I adore working and I shower regularly. I let other people take care of them and keep them overnight. I think following and befriending women who you admire in their parenting helps you do it well once youāre in it. I know I have admired Jamie Iveyās perspective a lot when it comes to parenting as a Christian. She really emphasizes that God and her marriage are higher on the priority list than her kids.
Discovering Be There In Five has been such a light this year. The Childless Millenial episode was incredible. I love that she is discussing these things and normalizing those discussions for all of us
My husband and I were married 13 years before we had a kid, and I think years of having an adult life, plus watching and learning from friends helped us to avoid the "kids are life" attitude. We have other issues...but not that one! š
Also, I'm a counseling grad student!! Who is also getting counseling!! š I am also a parent (I've been in grad school and had two kids in the process), and girl. Phew. It's been a journey. A long, slow, emotional journey. I love my kids more than I can explain, but I also freaking LOVE my job. So, I don't know. Not sure I have any exact answers for you either - so sorry you are feeling the pressure, though. That gets old reeeeeeal fast.
ADRIENNNEEEE - I really loved Childless Millennial as well, and thanks for sharing your thoughts around them. Looking forward to mama advice :D and can't wait to hear how your guidance lesson is received!
It was delightful to see Erin Moon 3 times in my inbox this morning! Such a treasure.
"And if you would, well, I went to cotillion and I know thatās bad manners so maybe talk to Jesus." This is a whole mood and I am HERE for it!!!! My standard Internet Rule is "What would my Mama think/say if I post this?" or like I tell my children when I remind them to THINK before they speak...
T - Is it true?
H - Is it helpful?
I - Is it inspiring or important?
N - Is is necessary?
K- Is it kind?
On to treasures!
First Tea Olives, now 1400 year old Ginkgo Tree! All the heart eyes.
My birthday was this week and while I missed dinner out or in with friends it was such a great day. Spoiled by my husband and children, messages from family and friends and a dinner time call from my mom to play "Birthday" by The Beatles at top volume (a family tradition).
Spending time with the words and wisdom of Comfortable Words and the words and wisdom of the people in the group go through has been so good for my soul.
On a much shallower note...THE BACHELORETTE IS BACK! I cannot remember the last time I actually watched and episode of the show, but I love listening to Knox & Jamie recap it.
Finally my wandering, yogi, gypsy soul friend, Megan has found herself furloughed and with extra time on her hands and has channeled it into her online version of EveryBody Yoga with Megan ) and as someone who has always liked the idea of Yoga but honestly found a lot of the leaders to be too "woo-woo" for me to take seriously Megan is just the right mix of Woo and Southern Sass. Lots to like, but my favorite this week has been the 30 seconds of zen post she's been sharing on Instagram this week. It's been so good to hit those mid social scroll and be gifted a directed breathing or stretch for a moment. https://www.instagram.com/p/CGVBo_UAV2i/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Looking forward to finding more treasures from all of you! Have a great week.
I have to use the three gates often with my children which is how I first heard about something similar to the THINK acronym. The three gates are is it true? is it kind? is it necessary? I find it so helpful...because sometimes true things are unnecessary. Definitely a good tool for internet engagement!
Thanks for the birthday wishes and thank you for filling my inbox with delightful content and event more delightful people. I seriously cannot tell you how much I appreciate this community and the Comfortable Words community.
Happy belated birthday Lauren, fellow Libra! THANK YOU for sharing Megan's account - can't wait to follow. and I have so treasured our interactions on Comfortable Together!
ā Getting on a plane today for the first time since last November. Heading to VA for my cousin's wedding at a vineyard. I'm excited, scared, nervous and anxious all at the same time. I hope it's a small turnout and we all make as smart decisions as we can for ourselves. I've got middle seats both ways so T&Ps for me & my mask.
š FNL: ALMOST to the end of S2- no time for excess tv this week as I've become obsessed with The Masked Singer and picked up DWTS this year. Tim Riggins' arms have stood out in this update--- I have to wipe up the drool that collects when those arms come onto the screen. Lo and behold I discovered Matt Czuchry is on this show!!??!!?? what the WHAT? I first met Matt through The Good Wife, the binged GG and now FNL? Who knew he was hiding just below the surface of my pop culture education. I do like him & Lyla, but just want her & Riggins to get together again.
š¹š¹š¹ The Bachelorette is back!!!!! Same with the Popcast recaps! Praise BE!
š Trader Joes Pumpkin Waffles for the win today-- cinnamon sugar is the perfect topper. :)
Good Morning Lil' Swipe Friends! I don't post often, but read and laugh and pray along with all of you. This week brings treasure and worry. I launched a nonprofit (www.heartfelthelpfoundation.com) a couple of months ago, and we just launched a fundraising campaign. I am so grateful for this opportunity to express my gratitude for my own heart transplant in a tangible way. We've got two clients awaiting their heart transplants that need our help. Not asking for anything but prayer from all of you to cover these two worthy people and prayer that we will get the funding we need to help them.
My personal treasure for the week was that my husband and I finally finished the worksheet necessary for putting together our will. We started this process about seven years ago and the whole thing got stalled in a fierce debate over who would be guardian to our children. There is nothing more difficult than trying to decide on hypothetical futures. Also, at the last minute I left my dogs to my sister and I can't decide if she would enjoy that surprise or if I should tell her in advance?
Aside from that I'm not organized enough to keep track of my internet treasures. I'm sorry. There was a video of pandas sliding down a slide which I found very soothing. I survived the birthday of on of my children this week which always feels like an impossible feat. Why are birthdays so hard for me? I don't know. Yesterday, I had to cut the drone that child received as a gift from first my daughter's hair and then my own. I didn't respond well to that situation. But today is a new day. And the drone appears to be broken. So praise God for small miracles.
Our will is languishing on our printer, where we printed it in February intending to take it to be notarized. And now itās out of date because we had 2 children š Iām so glad my sister is married and in a more stable life stage now because she was our #1 choice and waiting for her to have a partner who could help her raise our kids was hard while we awkwardly had to determine whose parents would take our kid if we died befor she married š
Listen, my best friend just did her will. In the event of her and her husbands untimely death, my husband and I get their daughter and all future children. She had originally planned to leave her very elderly dog to her mom. But then burst into tears thinking about how her daughter would lose her parents AND her dog. So now I get the kids AND the dog!
These decisions are hard. And most likely will never need to be acted upon. My sister is also first in line for guardianship of our kids which she knows about. Just havenāt broken the news to her yet about the dogs!
Honestly, I would watch a family comedy-drama about the sister who was left the dogs in the will and they end up becoming the thing that turns her life around. Calling Netflix!
Haha...that was my thinking too! And she won't be able to refuse at that point. The worksheet was from the attorney who will put the will together based on our answers. You might be able to find something like it online. But most attorney's have some kind of packet they have you fill out.
Praise God for small miracles indeed! The will worksheet is HUGE, and thank you for doing that. My mom was very quick to get hers in order after dealing with her dad's (and actually my dad's as well) mess of estate with a lack of will. Also may that drone stay broken and AMEN.
Full disclosure: my father in law panicked during COVID and offered to take care of getting this done for all of his kids. So he pushed us to finally make it happen - very grateful. It truly can be a big mess to deal with - I'm sorry your mom had to deal with that.
Is my first comment on the little swipes page so Iām definitely not dropping any turds today, only treasures!
šI have been binge watching Intervention, and I got an unexpected treasure this week. Iāve always been fascinated by that show and I donāt really know why, but I think it has something to do with the unimaginable transparency and vulnerability of the people on there. And a group of people loving someone at his or her worst and reaching out to offer help and hope. I think it reminds me of Jesus. But this song was playing at the end of one episode and I asked Siri to tell me who sings it. I downloaded it on my phone and have been listening to it all week. We all have some kind of monsters in our head, whether it be anxiety or mental illness, or just being overwhelmed with this year, and this song really spoke to me: https://youtu.be/sdyPT2PPiHI
šAfter my second freaking foot surgery in six months (same foot, long story š) in six months, not being able to drive for 6 weeks, and needing infinitely more parental support at 37 years old than I ever imagined, I am taking my first road trip BY MYSELF this afternoon!! I would absolutely do a happy dance externally, but Iām still trying to follow doctorās orders with my foot so Iām dancing internally. I would absolutely do a happy dance externally, but Iām still trying to follow doctorās orders with my foot so Iām dancing internally. I am currently taking suggestions for songs to listen to on my road trip, and or Podcasts that would be entertaining (already obsessed with the Popcast and Bible Binge š).
šVery grateful (I want to say āGrateful, Thankful, Blessedā like a Hobby Lobby sign, but ew) for this community and the Comfortable Words community, which I kind of think are a lot of the same people, and I feel like we would be besties in real life. The kind of friends where we would just go to each otherās houses and drink a ādranky drinkā and maybe take naps. And thatās the kind of trend energy I need right now. Even if itās online. ā¤ļø
I definitely need to watch Intervention. There is nothing I am more fervent about than bringing more of that transparency/vulnerability/acceptance that permeates addiction recovery groups. Glad you are here!
I started watching years ago and I can't stop. It's just REAL. And so raw. And the desperation, from the addict who is lost in addiction to the family and friends who sometimes literally chase the addicts down when they run from the intervention because they want so badly for their loved ones to choose life. I have sobbed through MANY an episode of Intervention!
Mel I have loved reading your posts, you feel like somewhat of a Lil' Swipes celebrity! I am not the Lydia who asked for a scarf, BUT I loooooove scarves!! (I almost spelled it scarfs, but I'm new here and on my best spelling behavior) My favorite are those huge ones that I can wrap around my neck until I look like a person wearing one of those Ostrich Pillows for napping. Don't know what it is? Let me show you: https://www.vat19.com/item/ostrich-pillow-for-napping
What? Me? Celeb? LOL I'm the dorkiest dork to have every geeked and nerded. But thank you. Ahhh see you like the big blanket monster scarves. I made one of those for my husband one year. It's like an ordeal to wrap it JUST so hahaha.
I've listened to you on the Popcast and Bible Binge for so long that I'm fangirling right now!! :) I knew this was the place for me. Just the right mix of empathy, love for Jesus and each other, hilarity, and the generous sprinkling of slightly crazy that I like. <3
Welcome! "The kind of friends where we would just go to each other's houses and drink and "dranky drink" and maybe take naps. Yes to all of this! I love this community and Comfortable Words. Glad you are here.
Thank you, Lauren! My favorite dranky drinks are drankied with friends and I wish we all could have one together and cheers to meaningful online friendships!
Soooooooooo, a few months back Erin (was it Erin? I feel like yes, with heavy co-signs from other Swipes) recommended The Great on Hulu. It is a tv show that nsfjm (if you're a popcast listener). Very adult content, mixed with hilarity. Since it's about Catherine the Great and takes place in Russia, there's lots of Huzzah-ing. I've added it to the lexicon, because what's not to love?
Itās the ONLY gang that would ever accept me. Plus I would never survive the ājumping inā part of joining a regular gang, especially if they beat me up. My grandma body is too fragile š¤£š¤¦š¼āāļø
That would be a great way to jump someone into a gang AND mess with their minds!! "You get jumped into in this gang by jumping down the street and back. And if you pee your pants you don't get in." But what they don't know is that I heard this was the jumping in process and I wore Depends. BAM. :)
The innate joy I feel in this newsletter cannot be hidden. Whether itās the valuable resources or the amazing use of the HSM franchise to prove a point, this is exactly what I need after a long week. You, Erin Moon, are a treasure.
For followers of Christ only: Filter your post or comment through this question: would this glorify God and my witness? No it doesnāt always have to be a religious or theological post. But will it portray what I preach? Will it give non believers ammo to say āyep thatās what Iād expect from a Christianā I wanna smack some of my believer friends and say āyou are a light in this world. Is that being a light?ā Itās no wonder many turn their back on Christ when seeing how His followers respond.
Morning everyone! I always look forward to the Swipe up on Fridays. It's become a ritual to get my kids off to school and sit down to read the lovely comments and witness the support and love on here. WITH a cup of coffee of course. Today as i sat down to write a coyote stood 10 ft from my window and took a leak. I live in a very suburban neighborhood on a very busy road and I do not know what he was doing on my lawn. I had just come in from a walk with my new puppy too, so i had just missed him. A minute later, my neighbor walked over to warn me about it, said he's seen them carry away a cocker spaniel. One more thing to worry about! One good thing is a trainer came out yesterday, and dog is already behaving better. Much calmer and only accidently bit one crotch this morning! He even licked my son when he came downstairs instead of biting his pants! I never share links to anything on the interwebs even though i spend way too much time on it, but it all just blurs together and turns into one huge waste of time. Forgive me little swipes! I hope its ok. I don't really have a ton to share, but it's been a long emotionally charged week, and I'm just happy to be sitting here reading everyone's shares. I appreciate all of you! Have a great weekend friends!
I saw them once a few years ago and called our local police department if they'd heard anything about them and they didn't seem concerned. They said "yeah we got coyotes".
Well, after I posted that question, I remembered my own failed experiences with our delightful (they're not delightful at all) animal control...they've laughed or dismissed me multiple times.
I guess i do have one thing to share! Tonight the kids want to do our annual viewing of "Hocus Pocus" and I'm in charge of snacks. What's a good idea for dinner/snacks that I can throw together quickly? Any ideas?
This whole week was a turd. Anyone who works in schools knows that the shorter weeks always feel the longest, BUT I did the new Hamilton Peloton ride last night (Jillian and I will be doing it next week once she gets her bike, if anyone else wants to join us!) and I actually cried in it. Not because it was hard or anything, I was just so happy. I think I'm going to do the run (definitely NOT a runner, but I just love Ham so much) and the yoga class (also v not into yoga, but alas) this weekend.
One thing getting me through this week is the promise of the Penny and Sparrow live stream concert tonight. I'm going to make homemade pizza, drink lots of margs, and probably cry because their voices are so beautiful. Their Live in Texas, 2019 album has been SAVING ME during remote learning.
Also, a treasure and a turd for me lately is that I've finally adulted and created a budget. Like a legit budget. I always had a loose one in my head, but I signed up for YNAB and seeing it all laid out brings me such satisfaction and peace. The turd part comes in when I had to shuffle stuff around just so I could buy a ticket to the P&S concert AND be able to buy my weekly Harry Potter film (I've been buying one movie a week on Amazon Video for my weekly Sabbath film because I'm sick of chasing them around on various streaming platforms and I just want to have them forever), but I feel like a responsible adult with financial plans and goals and such.
I love YNAB. I have always been such a saver and feel so guilty spending money on myself. It has been so freeing to go into a store (at least theoretically, since I donāt really go into stores these days...) and buy something for myself or for my house.
Yes! I'm doing it all manually because I don't want to wait 3 days before my transactions show up in YNAB and I'm just a control freak in general. Plus I think it's fun to enter in transactions and categorize them and such.
Yes! YNAB stands for You Need a Budget and its a software (they also have an app) that helps you plan your finances. If you decide to delve into it, send me a dm and I'll send you the tutorials I watched. It's definitely not something you want to go into blind.
I'm not gonna lie, YNAB was overwhelming at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's pretty simple. Dm me (@megs_trief) and I'll dig up the tutorials for you as well!
Oh, heck no I did NOT buy the bike. I bought a cheaper bike from Facebook Marketplace and just use the app on the iPad. The app has a 30 day free trial though if you want to do the run or the yoga class!
Oh you are right! I tried the app this summer. And by try I mean I watched a bike ride while I did dishes. My watch counted it as a workout š. It is a great app though and a great alternative to buying the bike!
I downloaded the app in March when they had a 90 day trial, and it has been such a fun and motivating way to stay motivated. and highly recommend for the Hamilcontent alone at this point!
ALSO! The Brene Brown podcast episode on burnout was SO GOOD. I immediately ordered the book from the library and I'm so excited. I'm not a huge fan of Brown, but this episode should be required listening for all ears.
Thank you for sharing your internet rules, Erin. It's so easy to assume any number of terrible things about someone based on one post. I learned how it felt when people replied to my instagram story worried about my salvation when I shared my opinion on family separation. My inclination was then to question *their* salvation, and even though I didn't say anything, it's colored our interactions ever since. I'd rather respond differently in the future.
Survived the half marathon, y'all. Did it go super well? Not really, but I finished and that's all that matters at this point :) Having just moved to Florida in June, I wasn't expecting it to still be 90 degrees in October. The Lord humbled me and I needed it.
I generally follow a rule of never ever read the comments, particularly on Facebook, and never comment. Last week however, I chose the low stakes issue of abortion to engage on and I've regretted it ever since. I'm sure I did not change any minds and still feel gross about it. I talked to my mom about it and she said "arguing in the comments isn't activism". Anyway I've been thinking about that comment a lot, and how I can tangibly contribute to things I care about, rather than just feeling sanctimonious on the Internet.
On a very unrelated note, I stashed a container of candy corn and peanuts in my bedroom, for when I want a treat and don't want to share. I'm feeling very good about that š
My 12 year old son. He's autistic and an absolute joy. He's very upset that we are going to school in the "middle of a deadly world wide pandemic" but handling it like a champ. So far this year he's brought plastic shot glasses to drink water from because he didn't like the straw of his water bottle, told one teacher he wanted to be a bartender when he grows up, wrote a poem for another teacher stating he is paralyzed from the waist down (he is not), and told a PE coach to 'stop patronizing' him when the coach cheered even through his volleyball serve did not go over the net.
Thanks y'all he's amazing! We have a little hashtag #BmanisAUsome AU is the the code for autism in his paperwork. I love to tell him that autism makes him awesome!
Hey everybody! Thank you so much for your kind encouragement re: last week's depression realization. It was definitely "a God thing" for several reasons I'd like to share! First of all, my workload increased exponentially this week, which always weirdly makes me feel less depressed than I actually am because I HAVE to get stuff done at work -- it's urgent. I think if I hadn't figured out what was going on last week, this week would have obscured the truth from myself. It also helped that Mental Health Day was Saturday, thus underscoring that it's ok to not be ok. Lastly, I started to look into finding a counselor last Friday and got quickly overwhelmed because all the therapists that were personally recommended to me did not take my insurance and were out of my price range (Three Kids in Daycare is the title of my current YNAB budget). I finally called 5 therapists from my insurance list basically blind. 2 called back. The first one who called, I booked. TURNS OUT she was the same therapist the women in my marriage development group I was a part of in last year had all raved about to me, and I had just forgotten. WHAT. So I meet her on Monday! Praise God!
My mood has been generally better this week due to the work keeping me busy, and also I implemented a few practices I think are helping. I've been diligent to turn on good music while I work, take two 10-minute walks a day, and started scheduling time on my calendar to dedicate to long-term projects I can never seem to get to. All that to say I think we're starting to turn a corner with major thanks to my Lil Swipes buds. *feeling loved emoji*
Erin, I loved all your rules for engagement! I think one I would add is Examine Why You Want to Comment. What is your intent? Is it to dunk on someone? Is it because your initial outrage needs an outlet? Or are you trying to better understand their views? I find myself leaning towards the former 2 (and am guilty of assuming someone is uneducated if they don't share my perspective). So it helps me if I keep on keeping on and then later, if I decide my comment is still needed, I can go back to that person's post and comment.
A few treasures!
1. I finally finished researching my ballot, which was hanging over my head like a giant unfinished project! Early voting is going on, so I've got about to week to find some time to head to the polls. I used a combo of candidate websites/Facebook pages, vote411, our local newspaper, and state newspaper endorsements to help me decide. Yay civil duties!
I somehow missed Jillianāa playlist so thanks for sharing!! So glad this week was better and you found a therapist! Your post is a good reminder to schedule in both time/ways to take care of myself daily and also to schedule time to work on long term projects!
SO happy to hear of a turning of the corner, and so great to remember that no feeling is final. was totally the same way about voting, but i did it! I am SO delighted you are enjoying the playlist <3
My daughter is big time creative energy, but doesnāt have a ton of patience for the more traditional school subjects. So, I was relieved to hear at her virtual P/T conference this week that sheās on track and doing well. Thinking of having a āYayy! Youāre doing your best and thatās all thatās ever required!ā celebration tonight, but thatās a little wordy to fit on a banner. šš»š
And in other school-related news, we got word this week that they will be letting the kids come back 4 days a week starting mid-November, and I shed actual tears. So maybe weāll also try to squeeze, āI love you so much, but I was never meant to be a teacherā on that banner.
š£ After four different family members contributing materials, three years, two attempts at hanging, and one tetanus shot, I finally completed a project for my sonās room. I have barnwood from my in-laws place and attached it to make a...plaque? I dunno, a thing to hang on the wall. Then I tied fishing lures that had belonged to both of my grandfathers and a great uncle who was like a grandfather (all who have passed away) and attached them to said barnwood and it is now hanging in my little manās room.
š§® I mentioned over in Comfortable Together that Iām a CPA and have recently had a tax deadline. Not only did I survive said tax deadline but I got an email from my boss yesterday (it was addressed to all four of the tax people in the firm) that said essentially, thanks for your hard work, Friday is a holiday for all of you so put 8 hours of admin on your timesheet and enjoy the day off. This, by itself, is just so kind. But when you factor in the fact that (a) I was already taking half day Wednesday and all day Thursday and Friday off (without pay) for my sonās fall break, and (b) that three of the four of us (myself included) are essentially part time, meaning we donāt get paid if we arenāt there, the word that immediately popped into my head was grace. He didnāt have to do that, especially for those of us who wouldnāt have been there anyway. It was such a nice surprise.
Now Iām off to enjoy some FINALLY cool weather here in Oklahoma. Happy weekend, fellow swipes!
I am loving it too. I'm a VERY sentimental person and stuff that belonged to my grandparents is just...I don't know. I love to find ways to incorporate their life into mine now that they are gone. I love that my son loves to fish so this was a perfect way to do that. When my grandma passed a couple of years ago, my cousins and I went through her closet and picked out some of the clothes that we specifically remembered her wearing frequently and each had quilts made.
I was so glad to get it done - I have had it on my mind for years, just couldn't quite figure out how to put it together but it all finally clicked! And my son loves it, which I love.
I can't handle the turds today, so I'm focusing on the treasures...
Today is my kids last day of virtual school, so I'm throwing them (and me) a party. Cake, balloons, the whole thing.
I've become super invested in the Seahorse and Serpent on The Masked Singer. Who are these angelic singers?! Is this what the pandemic has done to me?
I just started Mrs. Maisel, and I think I'm hooked. Shout out to my brother for sharing his Prime account with me.
Also Erin, I know "you didn't even talk about Zombies," but now I need to know your thoughts on it. The soundtrack is all my poor Alexa knows. "Someday" is on repeat in my head for most of the days. I don't know what other adult to talk about this with...
Back to full time school?? Dream come true. I'm celebrating with you even though i'm pretty sure my district is never going to send kids back to school lol. Eat some cake for me!
Yes, 5 days a week, face to face! My district has been slowly creeping back to 5 days. First 2 days, then 4 and next week they go all 5 days. Iāve had my kids full time virtual for a myriad of reasons but feel comfortable with how things are progressing here to send them back. šš¼
I love that show!! I havenāt seen this weekās yet but I love trying to guess them all. I even have a note saved in my phone with my guesses! (Nerd alert.) I have a guess or two about the seahorse but Iāve got nothing for the serpent (side note-I canāt actually watch the serpentās performances because that moving costume creeps me ALL THE WAY OUT).
I'm curious your thoughts on the Serpent. I am convinced I know who the Sun is. Can we talk about that here without spoiling for anyone who doesn't want to see?
I have a strong feeling about the Serpent and one of the judges actually said my pick last week, but weāll see. But go watch the Seahorse this week. 99% of people should never try a Celine Dion song but she killed it!
- I made these cookies this week (minus the craisins - no dried fruit in cookies, please and thank-you) https://stellinasweets.com/2014/10/05/baked-sunday-mornings-pumpkin-harvest-dunking-cookies/ and have been having one with coffee in the mid mornings and such joy is had. You do have to chill the dough, which makes them a "need to plan" cookie vs. a spontaneous "I need homemade cookies NOW" cookie, but they were worth the extra effort.
- My husband and father-in-law took my boys camping last weekend and I had 36 hours to myself in my own home. RARE. What did I do? I hacked my crying by watching Frozen 2. GUYS. IT IS BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE. Olaf acting out the first Frozen was <chef's kiss>.
- Comfortable Together has been such a joy. Thanks for putting that together, Erin. I've re-discovered the healing that comes from journaling my thoughts and prayers.
Can't wait to read all of your treasures! Have a great weekend!
I love Frozen 2 so very much. I also watched it alone when I saw it for the first time and wept from the beginning of "Show Yourself" to the end of the scene where she finds out about her father.
Ah, Shadow & Light. š„° Iāve been looking forward to it since the teaser chapters last December! I couldnāt afford the hardcover this year but had a bunch of digital credits (thanks, Amazon Prime!) so I bought the Kindle version to read this year. But itās the kind of book that needs to be held and displayed. So beautiful!
Good morning, Swipes! Was hoping to do more of an intro, but alas, my little humans are in a major Friday mood. I will say re: social media - the manifesto is perfection. I guess one of my unspoken rules for myself is to do my best to stay away from comments (IG, articles, etc.). I honestly canāt imagine responding to anyone - tbh my stomach hurts thinking about it š (lol hi Iām a 9), but man, those comment sections can leave you in a puddle of despair at the heartlessness of humanity. SO, no thanks.
I did write out a short list of treasures throughout the week, so here we go:
āļøMy husband and I finally finished The Good Place last weekend. š I miss the characters already. And I already mentioned my 9-ness, but to add to that, my husband has never compared me to a TV show character more than he compared me to Chidi. š
āļøAlso finally started the podcast 1619. I cannot emphasize its importance enough. My best friend and I are listening separately and discussing over Marco Polo. Highly recommend a podcast club. š
āļøIn honor of Penny & Sparrowās live show tonight, which band(s) do you want to see as soon as we can go to shows again?!
For me, itās (obviously) Penny & Sparrow, aaaand MUNA, Joy Oladokun, Taylor Swift, and johnnyswim.
NOOO that is so sad. š I hope you still get to see him sometime!! Yes Maggie is on my list too - I was supposed to see her in 2019 and ended up selling my ticket bc of a conflicting event. SIGH.
I'll "see" you at the show tonight! So excited! I was also daydreaming about going to concerts again and obvs P&S is on the top of the list, but I also want to see Needtobreathe again. I recently discovered a new (to me) band called Caamp and they've been the soundtrack to my fall so far, and I reallyyyyy want to see them live.
Also, if Hamilton is ever on stage again, I will put my life savings on the line to go see it.
ššš I will say, Marco Polo has been the best way to communicate with close friends, my parents & siblings during this pandemic. Video messages are super fun.
I'm keeping this to a highlights only reel this week :-)
1) By God's grace and quite possibly a lot of professorial grade curving, I made a B on my Philosophy mid term. The majority of the test was automatically graded, so this is not my 'Eeyore-ness', it is just a fact: I barely cleared a D at first glance. I thoroughly enjoyed paying no attention to my class for my fall break and now I am slowly attempting to continue on, learn what I can, and #justfinish (the mantra for 2020, amiright?)
2) I don't know how many Treasures are sports fans, but I have loved the Atlanta Braves for almost all of my life, and this shortened baseball season and their full force run at the playoffs is bringing me nothing but joy. I stayed up wayyyyy too late last night to watch them win (they are up three games! Nobody predicted this) and was practically in tears at the end. I have no idea how this bookish nerdy girl fell in love with baseball decades ago but my boys are bringing me such joy. (Side note: several of the Braves are VERY easy on the eyes, so that is helpful;-) Also, these games are destroying my school/study time, so there is that.)
3) I keep a bag in my car for my kids' masks so I never have to hunt them down... but I was misplacing mine! Enter these super cute mask chains where at least I don't lose them if I am wearing them:https://modishdesign.co/products/vegas-mask-chain (they have fancier ones and even some kid appropriate ones as well).
4) My birthday is next week. My husband asked me to find a birthday present for myself last night, and I decided I wanted my first pair of Rothys. Buuutttttt apparently everyone who wears size 7-7.5 ALSO love Rothys, and there was nothing I wanted available. My husband, being an enneagram five and a much more efficient shopper than my indecisive 9, promptly found the perfect pair for my birthday from The Root Collective, and I couldn't be more excited. It's truly wonderful to be known and loved so well. (If you need some shoes to make you happy in 2020, here they are:https://therootcollective.com/collections/flats/products/gaby-flat-in-mustard)
Baseball is the obvious sport for bookish nerdy girls šš»āāļø! All that quiet, subtle strategy and technical mechanics? Itās a brainy sport! I was thrilled to see the Braves back in the playoffs, too. They were a fave team in the Smoltz days and have a special place in my heart, though I was also happy to see the Dodgers make another run because they were robbed of a fair championship last year. š¤¬ Iām just hoping the Astros get eliminated; it wouldnāt be right for them to go back to the Series without fans present to give āem hell. š
John Smoltz is my favorite Braves player!!! A great joy of my heart was when I had the opportunity to see John Smoltz pitch as a reliever in his "second career" in a game against the Cincinnati Reds. I almost cried over it. Also, Booooo Astros.
Smoltzy. š„° He was always my momās fave, and I loved watching Chipper Jones. The Braves were our fave playoff team until I defected to the Yankees. š But they have a special place for us. My college roommate is from Houston so we always went to Astros games in the 90s (and the Astrodome) but it was a longsuffering fandom, so I was thrilled for her when they won the first series. But now that theyāve been revealed... š .
Chipper was definitely my crush, but Smoltzie is my fav. I absolutely love that heās calling the game:-) Gooooo Braves. Also, heavy Ts and Ps for anyone else who is staying up for a baseball game that starts at 9 pm EST. I am NOT a college student anymore, people.
Happy early birthday! I hope the shoes arrive in time to be worn for the big day. You'll have to report back on if they are comfortable. I'm looking for a new pair of shoes and was looking at the rothys site actually.
A man who can buy shoes for you is a Treasure. (My husband is pretty good at it too). It also makes me think of the 90s movie Only You (Marissa Tomei and stoned Robert Downy Jr. I rode HARD for that movie. Still think it's great)
My husband bought me two pairs of work shoes when we were dating and it was/still is the cutest thing he's ever done. So much so that I kept them for 10 years after I stopped wearing them just because of the gesture!
We have been loving watching the Braves this week too. Not so much because we are Braves fans, but because weāre San Francisco Giants fans and are therefore legally obligated to hate the Dodgers.
My number one coping strategy for social media lately has been snoozing/hiding people from my newsfeed. I just find it too difficult to engage in a productive, in-person conversation with people who I deeply care about after Iāve seen the things that get said/shared on the internets. I find myself gearing up for specific in-person interactions with my debate points ready to fire, which means Iām not actually listening or hearing what the other person is saying. Not sure itās the best strategy, but for the amount of emotional and mental energy I have available right now- internet ignorance is allowing me to better love people in person.
Treasures this week:
1. We got a new fridge!! Our old one came with the house and was in rough shape (some fun features included the fridge door not closing completely, so that it was both super energy efficient and also a fun activity for the oldest little wild woman to find random hot sauce bottles to carry around the house). We saved for a year, ordered a new fridge in June and itās finally here! š
2. My mother-in-law usually watches the little wild women on the one day a week that I go into the office, but she is on a trip with her sisters this week. October-December is my busiest time of the year at work, and I was feeling really overwhelmed at the prospect of missing a day in the office. My husband volunteered to take a vacation day and stay home with the girls. So yesterday, he had Dad Day and took them to a local farm that has all kinds of fall stuff (pumpkin patch, barn full of hulled corn, petting zoo, slides made out of farm equipment, etc). Iām just so thankful to have a husband who is such a great dad and truly a partner in this life.
3. The little wild women are going through a pushing/fighting phase (*please let it be a phase*) but there are little glimmers of them becoming friends that fill me with such hope (and sometimes tears). Most recently, we were driving somewhere and the youngest was tired and NOT interested in being in the car, and the oldest sang her a little lullaby. š
I deleted Facebook almost 3 years ago and recently muted a couple of family members on Instagram for that very reason! It was affecting my love for them and I just canāt deal with some of their beliefs right now. Extra cookies for your husband for Dad Day! āŗļø
My FB feed is now almost exclusively marketplace and yardsale group posts which I am very okay with. I was super late to joining Insta and have kept it pretty locked down (I have a private account and donāt follow any of my immediate family members) so it is still a delightful mix of embroidery, funny videos, cute babies, adoption triad members, and people who challenge me but also bring joy.
I wish I would have been able to write down the ālyricsā as she was screeching them, but it was something like āYou okay, Mae Mae. Cora loves you. Mommy loves you.ā šš
I donāt follow people only to uphold my already deeply held beliefs. I follow people of different experiences and belief systems to learn. That is why, when I read a comment that insults and ācorrectsā I wonder why the follower is there. Is it news to you that this account is in complete opposition to your worldview? Did you get here by mistake? If so, move on. If youāre here on purpose because you think this account has value, then sit still and listen.
I will never understand people (ahem, women) trying to reframe a personās *actual life experience* as a way to justify their differing beliefs. It drives me crazy!
Today the treasure is that CFA takes apple pay. I just drove all the way to work at 6 am, expecting to grab coffee and a breakfast sandwich on my way to arrive promptly at 6:30. (I get there earlier than everyone else so I can leave early.) Got all the way here, 30 minutes from my home, and realized I donāt have my wallet. My local coffee shop doesnāt take apple pay. So chick fil a it is. Cant wait for the weekend because THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME THIS WEEK.
I havenāt watched it yet but I know in my soul that that documentary on butter is what I need in my life today. Any recs for where to get a drive thru loaf of fresh bread?
I'm here for the the internet engagement commandments. I would also add, give it time. Walk away for an hour or two and see if you still feel like saying something. Sometimes we all just caught up in the moment.
Treasures for this week include:
āØ I got watch a friend watch Hamilton for the first time Saturday. We laughed, we cried, we sat on the edge of my furniture with great anticipation. She was flabbergasted at the talent she saw on display. At the conclusion, she said "I felt like I just felt every emotion over the course of three hours". We also had a fall themed charcuterie board that was just *chef's kiss*. It was complete with apple cider mimosas (thank you for that recipe, Sarah!) and cinnamon swirl chocolate chip pumpkin butter bread š
My husband stayed up to watch it with me when it dropped (at 3 AM eastern toile bc I am very committed) and it was such a joy to watch someone I love experience something I love. So glad you got that experience too!
I never actually watch the show but I live for the recaps - a true treasure this week!
I feel like we need a big ol talk about the cropped pants and shoe/sock situation of some of those men. Just like one of my friends can't date a man who even owns a turtleneck (because that means he might WEAR IT), I take issue with men in a suit having exposed ankles. That's a Liz Lemon sized DEALBREAKER!
I can deal with exposed ankle, I guess. But listen, you put on a turtle neck and I'm assuming you're about to give me a lecture on all the ways in which you are better than me. What is it about that turtle neck energy?!
omg thank you for the recipe, and I LOVEEEE that you got to experience a Hamilton first timer together! what a spread worthy of that masterpiece. and loving chatting with you ALL week in Comfortable Together.
I made my MILās pumpkin bread two weeks ago and it is such a balm right now. Fall is my favorite season and itās been so weird this year. It was so nice to have this one bit of tradition.
First off, Erin, your Rule for Internet Engagement #2 reminds me of a new term I learned this week, which is called Sealioning. Have you heard of that? I wish Iād understood the term and what to look for before painstakingly laying out education in hopes that the questioner was sincerely there to learn. And in regards to #4, The Real Life Test, letās please apply that to call centers as well. I used to work at one, and the things people would say to me (I assume because I was in their eyes an inanimate object to direct frustrations on)....
The French butter dude video was enjoyed greatly in my house, as we love all things butter. And I am in love with the Dance Theatre of Harlem students, especially the one dude whose movements are just the slightest bit off ...heās me. I feel a close personal connection.
I love that video of the Nobel Neighbors. So much. What a blessing to start my day with. Thank you for these.
I returned two of my four kidsā devices to their school and officially withdrew them this week. The other two are doing fine with virtual learning, but these two caught me on every. Single. Thing. I tried so hard to make it work. But going back to homeschool, as weād done 3 years ago when I only had one school-age, felt in my heart like one more desperate attempt to ābe normalā and not feel like an outsider had been thwarted. So I cried. But they love doing school with me, without screens. And I love not having to police usage of 4 devices. My friend encouraged me by saying āyouāre adapting to life circumstances! Youāre a chameleon!ā which she meant as a joke, but I took as a compliment and very healthy perspective.
So you. Youāre not failing. Youāre not a quitter for trying another way. Youāre a chameleon. I wish I had lil treasures to share, but linking is hard. š
Ugh... unfortunately people of color know about sealioning well (even if they don't know the specific term), and I experienced a fair share of it this week. It can be disheartening to exert such energy towards explaining and teaching to find that it was purposeless.
Writing this comment from Still-In-Bed which is a whole mood this week.
I have a heaviness from the weight of the election and just feeling so hamstrung and incapable of gathering the information I need to make *my* choice. Not my parents choice. Not my boyfriends choice (though thankfully we run pretty much the same politicswise) Not my friends choice. *MY* choice.
And at the same time i feel incapable of praying through my anxiety about it, and other stuff. Which I know I should be doing daily. So I stagnate and lay in bed with the covers over my head trying to deal and failing.
So thereās the Turd.
That and the anxiety I have about the possibility of hurting the Boy. What if we start talking about SeriousThings ā¢ļø and we come to an impasse and we have to part ways? I donāt want to go through that Sad, but even more I donāt want him to go through that Sad. Heās had enough sad.
I known logically that if we have to part ways itās for the best and I would be okay. Itās better to listen to those things NOW on this side of marriage than face them for the first time once weāve committed lives to each other.
Bear in mind this is all a hypothetical that Iām freaking out over. But things are going well. Surely thereās road bumps ahead?
But Treasures. There are still those.
- one was the 16 hour road trip the Boy and I made to pick up a wheelchair van for his dad. Half was spent together in the truck talking and jamming to music. He put on Hamilton (theatre kidddd) and i faced the choice of a) letting loose and being my normal weird self singing to Hamilton in the car or b) saving both his ears and my pride and not exposing my self so fully to him š i kinda fell in the middle... but mercies being new everyday, when the Winter Ball transition into Helpless came on and the inevitable shoulder shrugging and eyebrow wiggling to the flirty āhey hey hey heyā came out, I looked over at my Boy as we drove through the Mark Twain national forest and he was right there vibing with me and I have never liked him more. š I didnāt sing Helpless AT him, but I could have.
The other half of the trip was him in the van and me driving his bougie truck. We had walkie talkies so even though we were separated for 5+ hours we could still make comments to each other the whole way. It was a delight.
Sarah, my husband of 29 years (total of 33 together) disagree more on VERY IMPORTANT THINGS than we ever have. I chalk it up to me sort of coming into my own as I get older and wiser; however, we still love each other and like each other as much as ever (most of the time haha). I'm repeating much of the other amazing Lil' Swipes' words of comfort, but I just wanted to chime in as someone who's been in it for the long haul with my man...things work out...hang onto grace and forgiveness and kindness and most of the things will usually sort themselves out.
I feel this so much. I was honestly probably kind of a pill to date IMO because I took everything so seriously. (Not saying you are a pill... it sounds like the boy loves you!) I had been hurt before and had a really hard time following the advice āyou are young, just have fun dating!ā Anyway... I said to my husband recently, āI wish I could go back and tell myself that my life with you was going to be so incredible and happy, and not to worry.ā On the other side of the coin, I was so confident during our engagement, and had no doubts of this being the right person to marry (something I had always worried about knowing for sure). So it kind of does pay to be an anal detective about compatibility while dating.
As a fellow planner and worrier I totally understand the hypothetical freak out. I want to know what is going to happen and when and account for all the what ifs. I don't have any wise words that haven't been shared in the comments, but wanted you to know I see you.
Also the road trip treasure basically made me giddy. Love it. Try and hang on to these thoughts while you dodge anxiety in your blanket fort.
Ah! I totally get the feeling of being scared of SeriousThings TM but also knowing that it means that your relationship is building? Also, totally get the worrying about hypotheticals. My goodness do I worry about things that aren't even on my husband's radar... and it's not because he's inattentive... it's because my propensity to worry and my wild imagination get together and make a Nightmare Team (opposite of a dream team).
The Hamilton connection! Swoon! How exciting! I feel like that incites the same feeling as Buddy the Elf when he runs into his dad's office and is like "I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT" (then he says some insensitive things to Mr. Game of Thrones... but the scene does start well).
If it's any consolation: Mr. Moon and I do not agree on so many things. Like. So many pretty core secondary things. It's can be frustrating, but we've learned how to work with it and just accept that we love the other person. Which is why sometimes when we're "discussing" these things, we have to just tell the other person: "you are a child of God" with a slightly forced smile. š
I worry about hypotheticals and rehearse scenarios in my head, too. (Enneagram 6 here...) I often get so deep into playing out the scenario that I nearly forget it's not actually happening...it sounds oversimplified, but it helps me to take a deep breath and tell myself that all I have is what is in front of me today and right now I am doing the best that I can with what I know in this moment. I hope this might be encouraging to you. <3
Itās hard not to worry about whatās next. Because Iād love to plan my way through the unknown. But as someone who married the only boy I ever seriously liked I get that. In fact we had several hurdles that shouldāve been big issues but in the end were not. 1.) He āforgetā to break up with his college girlfriend before leaving college. Didnāt remember to tell her they were done until we were engaged. This makes him sound terrible- I promise heās not. 2.) We got engaged 3 months after we met. Neither of us had our own place or real jobs. 3.) He tried to break up with me one before our wedding- I said no.
Weāve been married extremely happily for 22 years and have six kids. Donāt think too far ahead.
You guys sound delightful together. I hope it works out the way you want it to! It will be fine either way if you think about it, I'm probably older than you so I'll tell you this: there are so many delightful people in the world. So my point is don't worry, and enjoy these wonderful moments.
I stress over possible conflict so much, that I very sympathetically hope you are able to put the fear aside. The road trip/walkie talkie adventure sounds absolutely delightful! Road trips are an excellent way of revealing compatibility (or not).
I've been thinking about your career decisions that you mentioned a week or two ago. I hope you've found some clarity in that regard!
I missed this conversation but I'm a youth specialist at a public library so I am familiar with the inherent slowness of library committees. Sending all good thoughts your way!
Sometimes the 'potential' stress of something is so much worse than the ACTUAL stress of it. I get the agony of knowing these conversations need to be had, and dreading them taking place. Praying for you to have wisdom and grace to talk levelheadedly about the things that matter to you, and for the boy to be open minded and hearted to hear what you have to say.
How can anyone get through "hey hey hey hey" without throwing a few flirty glances around?? It's virtually impossible, but if you want to see someone slay at it, you should see my seven year old, long lashed, Hamilton loving boy :-)
Oh my goodness I can only imagine F killing it š heās a cutie patootie!
Thank you for you prayers š ive experienced the whole potential stress vs. actual stress enough to know itās not always so bad as I make it out to be.?
It is HARD to not be flirty when they "hey hey hey hey" comes on! My enneagram nine self sees and feels all of those emotions about differing political opinions and serious things. š
No, thats a good point. Its a recurring theme of mine to worry about hypotheticals. I've gotten myself in trouble this way in the past - So yes. Don't Borrow Trouble indeed!
Hello to all! First time commenting. This little space has meant so much to me since I found it. And when I got the email about comfortable together I signed up right away but havenāt gotten any emails with content since. So I probably did it wrong didnāt I? I totally forgot it started this week (such is life with two toddlers). Any tips on figuring out if I actually joined? All I have is an Apple Pay receipt saying I did pay for something. š¤·š¼āāļø
Also I realize the comments section is not the place to figure this out but I have 10 minutes of alone time and I have used it all searching for another way. I am not technology/internet literate. Should I just directly email Erin? My email is ansleymcknight@gmail if anyone can help!
As someone who has literally received actual hate mail, like someone put pen to paper, found a stamp, walked to the dang mail box to mail me a letter about all the ways Iām a garbage person I love the list. Just because we donāt agree, lead with grace. It doesnāt hurt I promise. Assume the best, you wonāt break. Also letās stop assuming people are dumb and they didnāt research whatās best FOR THEM.
I have so few treasures this week but I know they exist. My thyroid hormone medication dose is being adjusted and itās made me feel like a salted slug. Tonight is family night. We eat chicken wings and I make a salad bar, we all pick out movie candy from the candy bin and watch one episode of the umbrella academy. This plan for tonight is what is holding me together today.
Weāve been adjusting the meds I take to manage my fatigue/sleep issues with fibro and it has thrown everything off. Hope it get a easier for you soon!
I think my thyroid meds need to be adjusted, as I am a current co- member with you of the salted slug club. I will say that the end of this week has been an improvement over the beginning. I have been reading this newsletter for weeks now, and am finally posting a comment....so hello to all. My treasure this week is that our local grocery chain had some really fantastic ice cream on sale for 40% off, and I have been eating some every night.
My husband kindly said if itās not helping stop taking it. Oh honey if I stop taking it, Iāll die! But thanks!! Itās the worst waiting for the adjustment to be right!
Erin, I can 100% relate to the thyroid meds ruling your life. I had a complete thyroidectomy in 2016 and it's been a rollercoaster ride ever since. That little pill can make or break us. Hang in there!
Sorry to read it was a rough week Erin. I hope this weekend is restorative!
Also, solidarity on hate mail. Someone was so committed to making sure I knew their feelings about my worship leading, they sent an anonymous (of course) sealed letter to me via the Sunday morning offering. Thank you, Karen, for your feedback and edification.
Could you imagine if you read the note the following Sunday as an opener?!? Sometimes I just want to be as petty as the sender! I just hate the dang high road sometimes!
A previous job was recording the church contribution envelopes, including those from Sunday morning offering plates, and I was always amazed (and saddened) by the notes people put there. Itās a bad look for Christianity. š
One of the churches my husband worked for had a policy all notes placed in the offering plate hit the trash can. Not one single staff member ever saw them.
There was also a regular note on an empty contribution envelope that said, ā Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.ā Never any money; just that verse written on the empty envelope. š
Sending some internet love-mail your way today, Erin. I love your family night plans, and I hope The Umbrella Academy is as mind-blowing-ly good for you guys as it has been for me. What a great show.
If you knew the amount of hours that went into finding a series for all of to watch youād for sure faint! I wanted something long term so I didnāt have to find a new movie every week! It also had to interest all the teenagers in our home! It was a task! Iām praising God for the umbrella academy!
Seriously no minor miracle to find something for everyone / Iām with you on that. PS Iām sorry that you ever received hate mail. I prescribe listening to Natalie Maines sing āNot ready to make niceā
Big internet hugs! I hope family night is a bit restorative and your medication adjustment adjusts soon. (Side note: Umbrella Academy! I love that show so much)
My candy bin WAS well hidden until I caught our 4 year old standing on top of the fridge rummaging around in the cabinet looking for the bin! I had to relocate it. The rule is you cannot have candy unless you watch the show!
My mom used to let us have one piece of candy in the afternoons before we had "quiet time," but we had to spell it out instead of saying "candy" so our toddler brother wouldn't ask for some before he was supposed to nap. He caught on pretty quickly though, and soon he was asking mom for "D-Y" all day long.
My mom used to hide candy that she did not choose to share with her children. Can you imagine?! Haha now that Iām a mom, yes. Anyway, anytime she went out to do errands it was our mission to find her hiding spot. Good times.
i try to have a candy bowl out every year for Halloween. Bowl is empty by the end of the day guaranteed. Feels pointless. I refill it a few times and just give up way within the first week of October š and it's a cute little bowl!!
Hiii šš» Long time lurker, first time commenter. My mid-Southern background has told me I cannot participate if I'm not going to contribute, but this week I remembered two things!
I doubled over laughing 8 seconds into the first episode (when I realized I was listening to the host Brian Baumgartner, who plays Kevin, whose real voice is v v different from his character's), and I laughed out loud every single episode. I teared up every episode. I was mentally transported from 2020. It's a win.
You will need 2 sticks of butter and an s-word loaf of sugar for these cookies, but they also contain a super food. They are perfectly salty-sweet-savory, and I want to eat them all. I'm sneak eating one right now before my kids wake up, and they are real good with coffee, too.
Also, an internet engagement rule I would submit for discussion is to comment with the intent to have a conversation. When we say, "well, actually, sjsbeks djdjevebsjs ejdjsjdnve MIC DROPPPP š£ļøš£ļøš£ļø," we boost our own ego, but it's not furthering a dialogue. I am exhausted by mic drop as a style of communication. We cannot just mic drop one another back and forth forever.
hi from the west coast! (tbd if you east coast timezoners will see this)
A few treasures:
- I'm reading Miracles and other reasonable things by Sarah Bessey and love it. I really enjoy her writing style... and the content is thought-provoking and enjoyable, too.
- my husband and I are working on creating a covid-friendly outdoor hangout and it's not perfect, but it's covered and the outdoor heater is coming, but it had its inaugural hang on Tuesday night for the Bachelorette.
- potty-training success! look, this is the world I live in, but the two-year-old got out of the bath, announced, "Clementine go poop" and then climbed on the toilet and went. We did a naked dance throughout the house to celebrate. I also love that she refers to herself in the third person. Her daycare brought it up, like, hey this is a thing, and I just refuse to be worried about it because it's so dang funny to me and the one time in life you can do it with confidence. (She's just 26 months old... give her a break!)
Fellow mom of a young 2 yo here, and mine loves to talk in third person too! My daughter is also not at all interested in potty training yet, so I think youāre doing great! Daycare can chill.
š Iām so guilty of mic drop commenting, aka drive-by snark (but I never *name it*). Iām really bad about dropping one frustrated comment to people I donāt know and then never engaging again. Ugh.
My mom makes amazing chocolate chip pumpkin muffins, which we always ate for breakfast even though they are...cake š, but I've been swapping pumpkin for sweet potato and feeling a little better about it!
Oh praise from whom all blessing flow! Those cookies sound amazing!!!! I bet I could count it as a science class and get one of my kids to bake themš
I am sure someone else mentioned this, but the link to Bri McKoy's sauce ebook does not work, and I cannot seem to find out where it is. Any one out there to help me?? I need SAUCE.
Hi, friends! If me not getting to the comments until Monday isn't enough of an indication of how last week/weekend went, I'll tell you: reaaaaal rough, y'all. But we're here and I made it.
We are preparing to move - again, for the second time in two months. Our house ended up being ready far sooner than we expected and so we'll be moving out of the temporary place soon. We are stressing out about all of the financials of moving again so soon when we thought we had several more months (water, etc. deposits, renting the moving truck, taking time off work to move) The moving is going to be the worst but the new house will be the best.
I've been sleeping terribly and am on week two of a med adjustment and I am not loving it. I've swapped to half caf coffee at the suggestion of my doctor who also suggested I cut dairy and gluten so I'm a real peach to be around right now. But, I do feel mildly better so I guess I'll count it as a win.
Some treasures!
-Jillian's playlist! I missed this when it was originally shared but found it again in this week's comments and it has been the soundtrack to my work day. I'll take any available serotonin everytime.
-Great British Bake Off!!! Y'all. I love the Brits and I love baking and I had somehow not jumped onto this train yet. I put on Nadia's cooking show one day and then realized she was from GBBO so I was curious. The mini-recaps from Jamie and Knox had me sold. My dude bff and I now have a standing Friday night date and are all in on Team Lottie.
-My cat. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but we took my sister's cat in for a (supposedly) temporary time. There is no way my husband will agree to give him back at this point and I am inclined to agree. Please enjoy these to moments.
https://twitter.com/clearlycarley/status/1318221683719798785
https://twitter.com/clearlycarley/status/1316170406211080192
-My library system got a huge grant for programming but COVID made that not possible and so now we get to use those funds for new books and I've been able to suggest diverse YA titles and it's like Christmas around here. A true treasure in the overwhelming day-to-day of working in a public library these days.
-Alicia Key's new memoir, but on audiobook!! If you've got access to your library's audiobooks or if you buy them, for sure check this one out.
-I snagged a copy of Hocus Pocus and Sleepy Hollow from our library donations shop.
-The We Got You Club. Y'all, I've been blessed by it before but I spent some time looking around to see if there was anything non-financial I could help with and there were several! I'm able to send a teacher a slew of YA books that got sent to me from publishers (I'm a librarian, and on an award committee). It feels so wonderful to be able to help someone else.
I love that she is "My cat" in the tweets. I think she's yours, Carley. :)
Congrats on the new hacienda! May the med adjustment and the move be as gentle as humanly possible.
I love this, Carley!
In not really life crushing news but still important, I checked "links & such" from Insta highlights, do you have an affiliate or the like code for Olive & June? I mean, if I'm going to buy anyway...
I don't know that Erin does, but Kendrea (Lazy Genius) does!
A rule I'd add is that it's actually totally normal for people to have different opinions about the same facts. I worked in the home department at a Fred Meyer every summer in college and I remember one day a co-worker saying that the nighttime tidy of the toy section was "the worst." I disagreed very offhandedly (I'm an e9; I never look for confrontation intentionally š) and said I actually liked the toy section better than housewares. These were apparently fighting words. She could not let that opinion stand! She reminded me that it's always the most messed up section. That some action figures have the same upc but look completely different so you have to read the upc on each one! And don't get her started on the Lego wall! But the thing was, although everything she said was true--it was easily the messiest and most challenging section--it was also always the most interesting section to me. I didn't mind that I had to use my brain sometimes and the variety of products was just fun. I didn't mind it. What I didn't like was that the housewares section was so boring and so huge. And yet she was weirdly insistent that toys were factually the worst--not just for her, but for everybody. I think about that interaction a lot, even ten years later. The stakes were exceedingly low (and it was in fact in her favor for someone to like toys more than she did so she wouldn't have to do it) yet she could not concede that my opinion was legitimate. I sometimes wonder what that former coworker has been up to on social media lately. š Bless her.
No new ideas here, just an Aha moment Iāll share. For the past 5 years a sweet woman has been coming to weekly visit my mom. Mom is in hospice now and caring for her is both a privilege and a huge emotional drain, so the weekly visits offer me a break.
This week when Momās friend came to visit, she talked to Mom about the current political situation. She and I are worlds apart on our views and I found myself getting angry inside. But then I thought about this friendās consistency in visiting Mom, and her kindness and attention sheās shown to my mom. She isnāt some evil awful person. I so often want to throw my hands up in disgust at those who think differently especially when it comes to politics. But this week I was reminded of what I already knew intellectually: wonderful people are on both sides of the aisle.
Someone I've been in a book club with, met a few times, and interact with occasionally due to working for the same organization posted on her FB about some political views that were so opposite of what I believe and what I expected from her and I had a very similar Aha moment. It's so hard, but it made me remember we are all humans and it is never black and white.
Hello all!
So this week has been very hard. I think for us the cumulative stress of constant uncertainty and waiting reached a tipping point. Weāre still hopeful about being able to return to France in the next 6 months, but I worry so much about the kids falling behind in school. I worry Iām not g teaching them French adequately enough!
A turd: my grandmother passed away. I guess technically of COVID. Sheās been in a nursing home for many years (5+ years). She took a turn 2 weeks ago and then passed away. She tested positive but didnāt have the symptoms, she was just unresponsive. So I guess that will count as COVID, but sheās been declining for years because Of Alzheimerās. Though It was a lovely funeral. My husband preached the message. And it was so nice to see family. It was a small gathering.
Treasure: my cousin brought her golden retriever who is 18 months old with her to see family. It was so fun to have a puppy around thatās also full grown. Heās so sweet! He doesnāt settle for simple belly rubs, this puppy insisted on full body hugs!! Gah! I could have played with him all day.
So sorry to read of your loss in the midst of such a generally tough time. May the Comforter bring very tangible comfort in this season.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Rebecca. Grandparent losses hurt in a different way. Praying for you right now.
Oh, friend. I am so sorry for your loss. I have a grandparent who is declining and just the thought brings so much grief. I am grateful you were able to celebrate her life with family though.
Please don't worry yourself too much over your kids falling behind in school. Their mental and physical health is so much more important this year, as is yours. As far as learning French - I'm not sure where you're at now, but the library system I work for (and most libraries) have a language learning website/app that you can access for free with your library card - maybe something like that would help y'all?
All they praise for puppies! We are getting one after we are moved and settled into our new house and I can't wait. Full body puppy hugs are the legit best.
Iām so sorry for your loss and difficult week. I hope you can find some certainty soon and peace in the midst of the uncertainty
I'm sorry about all the uncertainty you're facing right now, and hope you can go back to France soon! And I am sorry for your loss, but glad you were able to spend some time with family.
Treasures: Comfortable Together - such good timing and beautiful fellowship! Also, physically distanced coffee on my porch with three neighbors this morning and we discussed the ballot issues for Colorado and our county. It felt good to be engaged citizens!
Can I look around first and then stick my hand up on that, too? I missed the mark on HSM and now I might be too old and bitter to enjoy it... :)
"I might be too old and bitter to enjoy it" Why are you so good at putting my feelings into words? š
Is this a safe place to confess that I've never seen a High School Musical?
I haven't seen it either!! I think I was just a smidge too old when it came out so I missed that window of watching it. My younger sister though? She loved them.
I haven't either! Between that and FNL I'm basically a communist.
You and me both.
You are safe BUT only for a short time (I'm kidding it's fine).
I only saw it because I had a sibling that is 9 years younger than me and the prime audience.
And if you feel like it and want the true premiere experience as originally broadcast on Disney Channel, you can watch it one night and the following night, add subtitles and do the singalong!
Me neither... š³ itās on my to-watch list (and moving toward the top)
This is a safe space. However, might I offer that you should rectify that situation.
Cautiously raising my hand, me neither!
I've never seen a Hallmark movie either! (And I can't say I'm tempted.)
Now this is where y'all lost me. At Christmas, put that ish in my veins. I KNOW. I KNOW. But...whine.
I misread whine as wine and got a little confused for a second. š
Two simple notes for me this week. Iāve felt scattered. š¤Ŗ
ā Treasure is *for sure* The Comfortable Words conversation and the readings themselves. Yes, itās been a balm.
ā Trash is that I didnāt pre-order this Baby Yoda ornament last week before release and the price immediately went up on release day. š I donāt have a Hallmark store nearby and the price is irksome (read: prohibitive). I wants it! ā¹ļø
https://www.amazon.com/Hallmark-Keepsake-Christmas-Ornament-2020/dp/B084X4HL29
Thatās it. Thatās all I got. š¤·š»āāļø
i'll be on the lookout for Baby Yoda - my mom's husband is a Hallmark corporate retiree, and the company store does NOT disappoint.
š±š¤š„° I canāt even imagine! Actually, itās probably a lot like the retired merchandise store for Disney employees. Heaven, but also a crap shoot on what youāll find. š But if you do find a great deal on Baby Yoda, Iād be very impressed!
Ugh. I totally forgot my greatest Treasure this week! My mom and I finally got to visit the grandniece and grandnephew. I miss not being able to cuddle them, but the baby girl is 2 years old now and so.very.active. It was the best frenetic energy and much needed for our own joy. We brought her bday gift and she immediately started carrying it around, and my heart was just so full. š„°
Does anyone know about Sight and Sound Theatre in Lancaster, PA? We recently watched their production of ESTHER online (stunning) and I had to buy the sweet little doll for the baby girl.
https://www.sight-sound.com/store/379
I live in Lancaster š The business I work for is member of the tourism board, and every year Sight & Sound does super discounted tickets for employees of all businesses that are members. I was really looking forward to watching Esther, but our tickets were for March 17, so that didnāt happen. Whomp whomp. Hopefully someday it will work to see it!
My best friend is from Red Lion and told me about the JESUS production being shown on TBN network last Easter (Iām in Texas), and I was immediately charmed. Weāve since watched JONAH and then ESTHER, but will watch everything we can when possible. [My mom dominates the TV. š]
Iām just so impressed with the productions! ESTHER had such a sprawling set and was rich in color, of course, but it also felt different in rhythm and storytelling. We loved it. I hope yāall get a chance to see it next year. I canāt imagine theyāll move on to other productions until audiences have a chance to come.
I think new shows usually stay in Lancaster for 2 years before moving to Branson, so Iām hopeful weāll be able to exchange our tickets and see it.
I think the greatest thing is the ability to see and enjoy things without leaving home and itās very cool that you are in Texas but still can enjoy a show in Lancaster!
I used to live in Kennett Square and we drove through Lancaster a lot - always stopped at the creamery for ice cream!
My friend has plans to show me all the haunts when I finally get to visit PA. Iāll have to mention this to her!
It has been a while since I visited but I assume itās still there - itās actually in Strasburg. There are a lot of wonderful things to see in that part of PA.
Itās still there! š
I used to live near Lancaster and have been to sight and sound! My grandmother slept through Noahās Ark there.
Thatās the best comment on live theatre. š
The mental image of your grandmother sleeping with all of those animals on the stage is cracking me up š
She was that age where she would probably fall asleep at anything š
My husband and I got into a serious conversation š this week and it is continuing... I thought this might be the perfect place to ask for input.
If you were to make a list of people (from any country! for all of history!) of people who are generally liked by all, who would you put on it?
Some people that my husband and I both agree on-
Mr Rogers
Mother Teresa
Bob Ross
Who would you add?
Yes and I would add: Dolly Parton. Henri Nouwen. Deitrich Bonhoeffer. Corrie Tenboom.
I would say Lin Manuel Miranda but then Hamilton came out on Disney+ and all his haterzzz grew more powerful.
Y'all
I have been through it today.
Left work almost an hour later than planned due to IT issues.
Is this some universe flex because I called out the same IT dept for how they have been asking my team members on off shifts for their passwords and I called out their Ish?
It snowed here today.
I sent Danielle some proof
But now its sunny?
Again, big flex universe for showing we can indeed have all the seasons in one hour.
So.
This week was a lot. I'm not sure what was happening but it was like I couldn't quite get my usual focused bearings. It was like that jar of jam where the lid wasn't quite aligned to the threads and ridges but you sort of screwed it on anyway? That is my feeling about this week.
I was on 'the verge' of so many emotions all week
Where I cried from that feeling of relating to so much. Where I cried from frustration, relief, rage, wanting to do more, helplessness, wishing teleportation was a thing.
I have a SUPER short commute to the office (about 1.5 miles), basically 3 stop signs and 4 stop lights. But just enough of a commute to cry this morning while singing along with Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" this morning
link: https://youtu.be/DwrHwZyFN7M
And then I was also teary earlier this week whilst hearing "Cough Syrup"
link: https://youtu.be/UAsTlnjvetI
Tomorrow we leave for our weekend in Duluth!
link: https://www.visitduluth.com/
Now, it's also supposed to snow there.
I know I wanted a "chill" weekend, but this was not what I had in mind. In October. *laughs*
I plan to bring knitting, books and catch up on podcasts.
But I was SO happy to see my dad text me and say he got last minute vaca days for 2 of the days we will be there. And Saturday he's bringing take out from...
Link: https://omcsmokehouse.com/menu/eat/
I basically want the whole menu.
I didn't even make my typical list of all the things this week. But I want to toss out some big time amazing moments off the cuff.
1. Losing my Ish in a good way over Saucy Puds, watching the Bachelorette Live (HIMMMMBOS HIIIMBO HIIIMBO!), and then the recaps. Between Popcast and I Hate Green Beans, the recaps might make me break a rib giggling.
2. Cobra Kai
3. Finishing 2 scarves and mailing them to Swipers (Lydia and Kelise, watch your mail next week!)
4. Staring hats for another Swiper (Sarah!) and a shawlette (Sharon)
5. Costco & Trader Joe Macarons
6. The friends I am really solidifying through this community. The hope of new friends I am making here. This corner of the internet gives me a level of hope that I cannot thank y'all enough for
Be well
Hug your people
Mel
I've only been in this comment community for a bit now but the feeling of community and friendship is so wonderful. I have struggled so much with friendship as an adult and this little group is such a soothing balm to my soul.
Isn't it just lovely???
I started watching GBBO because of the Popcast recaps and absolutely got my dude BFF invested and we are ALL IN. We now have a standing Friday night date and we are full speed rooting for Lottie. He wants to marry her, I'd like to apply for the position of her bff.
BEEF FAT FRIES. *Swoon*
I'm so sorry its going to snow. I haven't tried Costco macarons but I have tried their wine- its good! I'm always impressed with those who can knit, crochet or cross stitch. Those seem like grand skills, that I don't have. I'm suppose to be editing but the noise outside my door is a situation. Have a great weekend my friend!
The jam jar analogy was perfect, I might steal that.
I wish you the best and most wonderful weekend ever!
have the BEST weekend, Mel. and don't back down from the IT fight :) praying for the respite to be sweet and realigning!
SO MANY HIMBOS. It is glorious š
Also, Fast Car. Yes. Walks around the block with good music & deep breaths have saved me this week. I hope you have a lovely weekend in Duluth, Mel, and I hope you can find your bearings again in the coming days!
I need more of them to go away because sadly I only know Dale because he's Dale lol and Josef because of his big needs to be punched face energy LOL --but cute (canadian) first one to get a real smoochy smoochy guy was cute. Can't remember his name because I wasn't yelling at the screen for him to shut up. Also, love Eazy! His pink suit "is this a potluck?" energy? I'm a fan! lol
Okay, so, cute Canadian cute that got the first smooch is forrrr sure cute, but y'all what was it with him practically eating his lip while Clare was talking to him?! I want to like him, but that was just a little too much š
I am also here for Eazy's energy and commentary.
Yosef should have gotten sent home instead of Tyler. Co-sign Knox and Jamie calling him a used vampire car salesman.
HA oh my word this is so good. I am also an Eazy fan. He's going to be so fun for this season. I think smoochy smoochy Canadian guy was one of the Blakes!? Maybe the one with the dog that howls on command??
Hi friends! My treasure is that I am house-sitting this weekend and recorded about 10 Hallmark movies on their TV to binge as I finish first quarter grades and do just about nothing else this weekend. I don't have cable, so Hallmark all weekend has become my house-sitting tradition. I love some high caliber, thoughtful movies and TV, but I also LOVE the rules and patterns of a Hallmark movie. Anyone else?!
Have you listened to Deck the Hallmark podcast? It's three guys (who are local to me, upstate SC) who watch EVERY new Hallmark Christmas movie and then podcast about it. One guy hates the movies, one guy loves them... it's PRICELESS fun.
I love those guys! I might like listening to their recaps better than i like watching the movies. (I have a very similar feeling about the PopCast Bachellor recaps)
I just subscribed to that podcast! Yāall might like āA Very Merry Iconic Podcastāfor some holiday recap vibes š
I need to!
Noel, you may have to be my Hallmark Channel Sherpa. Where does one even begin!?
Ha! My process is very nuanced. Find the channel, record the next movie, and watch it. Expect some combination of small town, big city, tough (but not actually tough) guy or gal, sensitive guy or gal, baked goods, seasonal merriment, slightly inconvenient misunderstanding, and a G-rated smooch. To quote podcaster Danny Pellegrino, "5 stars but also 1 star" is the vibe.
5 stars but also 1 star is my personal sweet spot of movies appropriate for 2020
Exactly! š
Hi, everyone!
Um, treasures...Iāve been reading a lot and watching Schittās Creek, which took me a while to get into, but I fell in love at the season two finale and Iām now parceling out the remaining episodes to get me through 2020.
My almost seven year old daughter has been very helpful and just maturing a lot lately and thatās neat to see.
So, turd...I was going to say that a treasure has been our new Collie pup, Moony. Sheās adorable and cute and full of personality. Sheās also been throwing up since we got her two weeks ago. My husband took her to a vet today (ours is closed because somebody tested positive for Covid-19) and it turns out she has an esophageal condition that likely means she will have a short (and difficult) life span. Guys, we love her, but we canāt do this again. We literally had to put our last puppy down in January for a crippling genetic deformity. My husband and I are heartbroken and our kids are going to be heartbroken no matter what we do. Weāre trying to see now if the breeder will take her back because we just...we canāt do this again. 2020 man. It sucks. If you pray, please pray for us to make the right decision and...I donāt even know.
Oh this is so sad. I'm so sorry š
Oh, Beth. How heartbreaking! Praying for clarity and discernment.
Oh, my heart hurts for you all! Such heavy news to hear. Praying for you!
Prayers for you....so hard.
So very sorry!
Beth. Oh my word. I'm so so sorry about Moony. Praying for wisdom right now!
Oh Beth, that is just heartbreaking. Praying for discernment for you.
This week I am particularly grateful for the lectio 365 app and the comfortable words by Erin. I've been listening to each daily and they have been a balm to my spirit.
I had blood tests and a flu jab yesterday so am very grateful for the NHS and the fact that I could get the flu jab in out local supermarket pharmacy for Ā£8.
https://www.instagram.com/tv/CGXlr0gnaFG/?igshid=19sf9pxycllhd this is a delight I love Henry Winkler, this boy is wonderful and the drew Barrymore show is very sweet
This week was the last series of Kipo and the Wonderbeasts and it was such a good ending. If you have children or just like a sweet programme then the investigators on Netflix is for you. Lastly, I've been watching Columbo from the start and it's so good. Highly recommended.
On social media etiquette I'd add if you imagine what you are posting is to your beloveds it often gives you pause as to how to phrase your words. And I try to go with the is this good, is this true is this helpful? For both what I post and what I consume. It really has made a difference.
And I now I said lastly but I've just remembered something. If you're able to listen to it on BBC Radio 2 they have a daily pause for thought where someone of faith (or no faith) gives a commentary less than 3 minutes of something they've learned and it is always good and often thought provoking. I hope you all have the best weekend possible.
Do I remember correctly that the daily pause on BBC radio is how we ended up with some of CS Lewis books? That they were transcribed and expanded? I might be crazy.
Mere Christianity I believe!
O gosh. Maybe? I don't know much about CS Lewis but Jillian has posted a link to the pause for thoughts and I think you'll love it
The guy who has done the scripture reading on Lectio 365 this week sounds like my church's youth pastor, and what a freaking delight! Also thank you for Pause for Thought! (for my fellow non-Brit residents, https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p015nm0y)
Thank you for this link. It is a blessing and so interesting to hear other perspectives on this programme.
I loved Happy Days. He came to the UK and did a pantomime one year and I don't think I've ever been more excited to see someone (bar Terry Pratchett at a book signing).
Lil Swipes! What a week it's been. Idk about you but when people come for those I love on the internet, I turn into an unhealthy enneagram two (which doesn't make any sense because I am a 1w9) so I've ordered more books and clicked on more links and saved more instagram posts than ever before.
1. Erin, I am working on a guidance lesson for middle schoolers on how to communicate well virtually and wow you have provided quite a framework. My current hypothetical argument is ehh, so I think I may change to something dated (to them) and pop culture-y to spark their interest. Kids love nothing more than being put in a position where they can call me lame.
2. (TW: Having children, family planning- I know that Infant Loss Awareness Day was this week and want to be sensitive to that) The āChildless Millennialā episode of the Be There in Five podcast has helped put a voice to so much of what Iāve been feeling over the past year. I told my husband last month, āI wish everybody would just stay out of my uterusā. Meaning, I have a lot of folks in my life who love me, care about me, know that I want to have kids sometime in life, but wonāt stop it with the pressure. HELLO Iām 3/4ths of the way through grad school! Would you let me enter the desired job market for just a brief moment before I start growing a whole entire human inside of me?! Iāve now taken to interviewing people that have kids but havenātā¦ suddenly turned into people who think they hung the actual moon in the skyā¦ and asked them how they did that. The staying grounded. The not being infuriating. Not turned into those vending machine aliens from Toy Story with their child being the equivalent of Buzz Lightyear. THEY HAVE NO ANSWERS. This is like when Sooki was 28 months pregnant like an elephant in Gilmore Girls and got mad thinking that all mom were keeping the birth-giving secrets from her. Ugh anywho... Happy to read any and all thoughts that anyone has to share on this, as a parent or non-parent.
3. The above two should probably reveal to you that I amā¦ a budding counselorā¦ who is extremely in need of my own personal counseling. Donāt worry, Iām in the process of fixing that.
4. Dick Johnson is Dead. It was Jamie's green light either this week or last. I walked through dementia and the eventual passing of my grandmother a few years ago, and have married into a family where they have never experienced either of those- but are starting to. I've recommended it to all of my sis/bro-in-laws because it is great for processing feelings but also a great example of how to deal with someone whose memory is changing. The daughter is fantastic in the way she speaks to her dad and others. Highly recommend watching now even if you think it doesn't relate to your experiences and then watching again later if those topics become relevant to your life.
5/Lastly. This tiktok... truly made my husband cry of laughter. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJ5HFtKj/
Adrienne- I get the pressure to not be single (GAH) -- my parents lay it on so thick. Obviously, they can't push the babies since I'm perpetually single, but it exists deep down. Do they think I *WaNt* to be alone forever? I've decided that I don't need to have biological children to live a fulfilling life. I'm 35 and I'm ok with that decision. It's encouraging to hear from more people who are choosing similar paths.
The tik tok!!!
Also loved that ep of BTIF. It reminded me so much of the convos Iāve had with my good friend who is child-free and killing her career but also wants/is scared of having kids at 33.
Iām 31 and have 3 kids and try to consider myself grounded? Not gonna lie, a lot of our life revolves around them because the sheer amount of time it takes to care for them at 3 and 5.5 months. But I hope I donāt act like the *world* revolves around them? I adore working and I shower regularly. I let other people take care of them and keep them overnight. I think following and befriending women who you admire in their parenting helps you do it well once youāre in it. I know I have admired Jamie Iveyās perspective a lot when it comes to parenting as a Christian. She really emphasizes that God and her marriage are higher on the priority list than her kids.
Discovering Be There In Five has been such a light this year. The Childless Millenial episode was incredible. I love that she is discussing these things and normalizing those discussions for all of us
My husband and I were married 13 years before we had a kid, and I think years of having an adult life, plus watching and learning from friends helped us to avoid the "kids are life" attitude. We have other issues...but not that one! š
oh my HEAVENS that tiktok.
Also, I'm a counseling grad student!! Who is also getting counseling!! š I am also a parent (I've been in grad school and had two kids in the process), and girl. Phew. It's been a journey. A long, slow, emotional journey. I love my kids more than I can explain, but I also freaking LOVE my job. So, I don't know. Not sure I have any exact answers for you either - so sorry you are feeling the pressure, though. That gets old reeeeeeal fast.
THE TIKTOK OMG. TEARS.
For real. I laughed SO hard.
ADRIENNNEEEE - I really loved Childless Millennial as well, and thanks for sharing your thoughts around them. Looking forward to mama advice :D and can't wait to hear how your guidance lesson is received!
And that PRANK.
Hello Lil' Swipes! Happy Friday!
It was delightful to see Erin Moon 3 times in my inbox this morning! Such a treasure.
"And if you would, well, I went to cotillion and I know thatās bad manners so maybe talk to Jesus." This is a whole mood and I am HERE for it!!!! My standard Internet Rule is "What would my Mama think/say if I post this?" or like I tell my children when I remind them to THINK before they speak...
T - Is it true?
H - Is it helpful?
I - Is it inspiring or important?
N - Is is necessary?
K- Is it kind?
On to treasures!
First Tea Olives, now 1400 year old Ginkgo Tree! All the heart eyes.
My birthday was this week and while I missed dinner out or in with friends it was such a great day. Spoiled by my husband and children, messages from family and friends and a dinner time call from my mom to play "Birthday" by The Beatles at top volume (a family tradition).
Spending time with the words and wisdom of Comfortable Words and the words and wisdom of the people in the group go through has been so good for my soul.
On a much shallower note...THE BACHELORETTE IS BACK! I cannot remember the last time I actually watched and episode of the show, but I love listening to Knox & Jamie recap it.
Finally my wandering, yogi, gypsy soul friend, Megan has found herself furloughed and with extra time on her hands and has channeled it into her online version of EveryBody Yoga with Megan ) and as someone who has always liked the idea of Yoga but honestly found a lot of the leaders to be too "woo-woo" for me to take seriously Megan is just the right mix of Woo and Southern Sass. Lots to like, but my favorite this week has been the 30 seconds of zen post she's been sharing on Instagram this week. It's been so good to hit those mid social scroll and be gifted a directed breathing or stretch for a moment. https://www.instagram.com/p/CGVBo_UAV2i/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Looking forward to finding more treasures from all of you! Have a great week.
Happy birthday!!
Happy belated birthday!! I love that birthday tradition. Also with you on being HERE for The Bachelorette - I am way too excited for this season š
I have to use the three gates often with my children which is how I first heard about something similar to the THINK acronym. The three gates are is it true? is it kind? is it necessary? I find it so helpful...because sometimes true things are unnecessary. Definitely a good tool for internet engagement!
Happy belated birthday, Laura! Sorry I took over your inbox!
Thanks for the birthday wishes and thank you for filling my inbox with delightful content and event more delightful people. I seriously cannot tell you how much I appreciate this community and the Comfortable Words community.
Happy belated birthday Lauren, fellow Libra! THANK YOU for sharing Megan's account - can't wait to follow. and I have so treasured our interactions on Comfortable Together!
Thank you Jillian. I have also treasured our interactions on Comfortable Together. So grateful for internet friends.
Happy belated birthday it sounds like you had a wonderful time. Can't beat the Beatles
Thank you Lucy.
Thank you Dana!
Happy Friday Swipes!!
ā Getting on a plane today for the first time since last November. Heading to VA for my cousin's wedding at a vineyard. I'm excited, scared, nervous and anxious all at the same time. I hope it's a small turnout and we all make as smart decisions as we can for ourselves. I've got middle seats both ways so T&Ps for me & my mask.
š FNL: ALMOST to the end of S2- no time for excess tv this week as I've become obsessed with The Masked Singer and picked up DWTS this year. Tim Riggins' arms have stood out in this update--- I have to wipe up the drool that collects when those arms come onto the screen. Lo and behold I discovered Matt Czuchry is on this show!!??!!?? what the WHAT? I first met Matt through The Good Wife, the binged GG and now FNL? Who knew he was hiding just below the surface of my pop culture education. I do like him & Lyla, but just want her & Riggins to get together again.
š¹š¹š¹ The Bachelorette is back!!!!! Same with the Popcast recaps! Praise BE!
š Trader Joes Pumpkin Waffles for the win today-- cinnamon sugar is the perfect topper. :)
Safe travels to you! And somehow I have zero recollection of Matt Czuchry on FNL. I may need to go rewatch that...
Thanks! Yes, he plays Chris Kennedy- Lyla's Christian Radio host guy.
Heavy Ts and Ps for your flight and weekend <3 and jeally, I haven't been able to snag any pumpkin waffles yet!
They were delicious! Hopefully they will be in your area soon. šš
May your flight be smooth, your mask be protective, the turn out be smart and small and may your visit be marvelous!
Thanks Lauren! Fingers crossed. I'm back and feeling a little run down, hoping it turns into nothing. ššø
Rule 0: Ask yourself if it will serve you to engage with someone online? Is it useful, is it true, is it kind? (This is a subtweet to myself.)
This is smart.
Good Morning Lil' Swipe Friends! I don't post often, but read and laugh and pray along with all of you. This week brings treasure and worry. I launched a nonprofit (www.heartfelthelpfoundation.com) a couple of months ago, and we just launched a fundraising campaign. I am so grateful for this opportunity to express my gratitude for my own heart transplant in a tangible way. We've got two clients awaiting their heart transplants that need our help. Not asking for anything but prayer from all of you to cover these two worthy people and prayer that we will get the funding we need to help them.
That's amazing! Praying for you and your clients.
Thank you so much Amanda! That means the world to me!
Praying right now for you, Denise! Such an amazing org!
Thank you so much Erin! That means the absolute world to me!
My personal treasure for the week was that my husband and I finally finished the worksheet necessary for putting together our will. We started this process about seven years ago and the whole thing got stalled in a fierce debate over who would be guardian to our children. There is nothing more difficult than trying to decide on hypothetical futures. Also, at the last minute I left my dogs to my sister and I can't decide if she would enjoy that surprise or if I should tell her in advance?
Aside from that I'm not organized enough to keep track of my internet treasures. I'm sorry. There was a video of pandas sliding down a slide which I found very soothing. I survived the birthday of on of my children this week which always feels like an impossible feat. Why are birthdays so hard for me? I don't know. Yesterday, I had to cut the drone that child received as a gift from first my daughter's hair and then my own. I didn't respond well to that situation. But today is a new day. And the drone appears to be broken. So praise God for small miracles.
Our will is languishing on our printer, where we printed it in February intending to take it to be notarized. And now itās out of date because we had 2 children š Iām so glad my sister is married and in a more stable life stage now because she was our #1 choice and waiting for her to have a partner who could help her raise our kids was hard while we awkwardly had to determine whose parents would take our kid if we died befor she married š
At least you had something! From what I understand something makes all the difference from nothing in terms of a will.
Was it this video? https://twitter.com/RexChapman/status/1316496872907907077
Thatās it! Isnāt it soothing? š¼
It is. I love pandas!
Listen, my best friend just did her will. In the event of her and her husbands untimely death, my husband and I get their daughter and all future children. She had originally planned to leave her very elderly dog to her mom. But then burst into tears thinking about how her daughter would lose her parents AND her dog. So now I get the kids AND the dog!
These decisions are hard. And most likely will never need to be acted upon. My sister is also first in line for guardianship of our kids which she knows about. Just havenāt broken the news to her yet about the dogs!
I'm pro surprise her, but if you feel the need to tell her I'd go with acting like you already told her and she just forgot!
Honestly, I would watch a family comedy-drama about the sister who was left the dogs in the will and they end up becoming the thing that turns her life around. Calling Netflix!
First, I say let the dogs be a total surprise. Iām picturing Diane Keaton in āBaby Boom.ā š
Also, did you find that worksheet yourself (for the will) or did you get it from an attorney?
Haha...that was my thinking too! And she won't be able to refuse at that point. The worksheet was from the attorney who will put the will together based on our answers. You might be able to find something like it online. But most attorney's have some kind of packet they have you fill out.
Praise God for small miracles indeed! The will worksheet is HUGE, and thank you for doing that. My mom was very quick to get hers in order after dealing with her dad's (and actually my dad's as well) mess of estate with a lack of will. Also may that drone stay broken and AMEN.
Full disclosure: my father in law panicked during COVID and offered to take care of getting this done for all of his kids. So he pushed us to finally make it happen - very grateful. It truly can be a big mess to deal with - I'm sorry your mom had to deal with that.
Is my first comment on the little swipes page so Iām definitely not dropping any turds today, only treasures!
šI have been binge watching Intervention, and I got an unexpected treasure this week. Iāve always been fascinated by that show and I donāt really know why, but I think it has something to do with the unimaginable transparency and vulnerability of the people on there. And a group of people loving someone at his or her worst and reaching out to offer help and hope. I think it reminds me of Jesus. But this song was playing at the end of one episode and I asked Siri to tell me who sings it. I downloaded it on my phone and have been listening to it all week. We all have some kind of monsters in our head, whether it be anxiety or mental illness, or just being overwhelmed with this year, and this song really spoke to me: https://youtu.be/sdyPT2PPiHI
šAfter my second freaking foot surgery in six months (same foot, long story š) in six months, not being able to drive for 6 weeks, and needing infinitely more parental support at 37 years old than I ever imagined, I am taking my first road trip BY MYSELF this afternoon!! I would absolutely do a happy dance externally, but Iām still trying to follow doctorās orders with my foot so Iām dancing internally. I would absolutely do a happy dance externally, but Iām still trying to follow doctorās orders with my foot so Iām dancing internally. I am currently taking suggestions for songs to listen to on my road trip, and or Podcasts that would be entertaining (already obsessed with the Popcast and Bible Binge š).
šVery grateful (I want to say āGrateful, Thankful, Blessedā like a Hobby Lobby sign, but ew) for this community and the Comfortable Words community, which I kind of think are a lot of the same people, and I feel like we would be besties in real life. The kind of friends where we would just go to each otherās houses and drink a ādranky drinkā and maybe take naps. And thatās the kind of trend energy I need right now. Even if itās online. ā¤ļø
Welcome, Lydia!! I hope you have a wonderful road trip!
I am here now, and on the way I switched back and forth between my road playlist and the Popcast, and it. was. DELIGHTFUL.
Woop, solo road trip! Internally dancing with you.
I definitely need to watch Intervention. There is nothing I am more fervent about than bringing more of that transparency/vulnerability/acceptance that permeates addiction recovery groups. Glad you are here!
I started watching years ago and I can't stop. It's just REAL. And so raw. And the desperation, from the addict who is lost in addiction to the family and friends who sometimes literally chase the addicts down when they run from the intervention because they want so badly for their loved ones to choose life. I have sobbed through MANY an episode of Intervention!
Is this Lydia who asked for a scarf Lydia? If so! HEY GIRL HEY
If not, HEY GIRL HEY!
:)
Welcome!
And so hang that sign for this group and The Comfortable Words too!
Mel I have loved reading your posts, you feel like somewhat of a Lil' Swipes celebrity! I am not the Lydia who asked for a scarf, BUT I loooooove scarves!! (I almost spelled it scarfs, but I'm new here and on my best spelling behavior) My favorite are those huge ones that I can wrap around my neck until I look like a person wearing one of those Ostrich Pillows for napping. Don't know what it is? Let me show you: https://www.vat19.com/item/ostrich-pillow-for-napping
What? Me? Celeb? LOL I'm the dorkiest dork to have every geeked and nerded. But thank you. Ahhh see you like the big blanket monster scarves. I made one of those for my husband one year. It's like an ordeal to wrap it JUST so hahaha.
Excellent first comment energy, Lydia!
I've listened to you on the Popcast and Bible Binge for so long that I'm fangirling right now!! :) I knew this was the place for me. Just the right mix of empathy, love for Jesus and each other, hilarity, and the generous sprinkling of slightly crazy that I like. <3
Welcome! "The kind of friends where we would just go to each other's houses and drink and "dranky drink" and maybe take naps. Yes to all of this! I love this community and Comfortable Words. Glad you are here.
Thank you, Lauren! My favorite dranky drinks are drankied with friends and I wish we all could have one together and cheers to meaningful online friendships!
Huzzah for road trips and good music!
I love that you said Huzzah!!! Gives me ALL the Colonial Williamsburg vibes I forgot I need in my life!
Soooooooooo, a few months back Erin (was it Erin? I feel like yes, with heavy co-signs from other Swipes) recommended The Great on Hulu. It is a tv show that nsfjm (if you're a popcast listener). Very adult content, mixed with hilarity. Since it's about Catherine the Great and takes place in Russia, there's lots of Huzzah-ing. I've added it to the lexicon, because what's not to love?
Welcome!!!
Thank you, Valerie! :)
Welcome to the best internet gang there ever wasš¤š¤š¤š¤
Itās the ONLY gang that would ever accept me. Plus I would never survive the ājumping inā part of joining a regular gang, especially if they beat me up. My grandma body is too fragile š¤£š¤¦š¼āāļø
Well I couldn't survive if actual jumping was involved. I would pee every where and they'd never let me in!
That would be a great way to jump someone into a gang AND mess with their minds!! "You get jumped into in this gang by jumping down the street and back. And if you pee your pants you don't get in." But what they don't know is that I heard this was the jumping in process and I wore Depends. BAM. :)
Jokes on you!
Friend energy. Autocorrect can suck it. š¤¦š¼āāļøš
Am here for friend energy trending! What a beautiful song and have a glorious road trip. Plenty of snacks
It was a great trip up!! I drank Coke Zero, ate smoked sausage links, and chewed gum. I SLACKED on the road trip candy...
The innate joy I feel in this newsletter cannot be hidden. Whether itās the valuable resources or the amazing use of the HSM franchise to prove a point, this is exactly what I need after a long week. You, Erin Moon, are a treasure.
ASHLEYYYYYYY this comment is a treasure for me.
For followers of Christ only: Filter your post or comment through this question: would this glorify God and my witness? No it doesnāt always have to be a religious or theological post. But will it portray what I preach? Will it give non believers ammo to say āyep thatās what Iād expect from a Christianā I wanna smack some of my believer friends and say āyou are a light in this world. Is that being a light?ā Itās no wonder many turn their back on Christ when seeing how His followers respond.
*makes a desktop sticky note with this criteria. thank you.
*examines my heart after reading Rose's comment*
love this one! we definitely owe each other grace when responding while discussing.
I 100% agree about HSM2 vs the rest. I thought I was the only one. Thanks for sharing!
I donāt think I ever watched it again after 2007 and I was so sad recently when I wanted to watch it that itās not on Disney+! Is that right??
I'm just here to speak my truth.
oh def not, that is canon. :D
Morning everyone! I always look forward to the Swipe up on Fridays. It's become a ritual to get my kids off to school and sit down to read the lovely comments and witness the support and love on here. WITH a cup of coffee of course. Today as i sat down to write a coyote stood 10 ft from my window and took a leak. I live in a very suburban neighborhood on a very busy road and I do not know what he was doing on my lawn. I had just come in from a walk with my new puppy too, so i had just missed him. A minute later, my neighbor walked over to warn me about it, said he's seen them carry away a cocker spaniel. One more thing to worry about! One good thing is a trainer came out yesterday, and dog is already behaving better. Much calmer and only accidently bit one crotch this morning! He even licked my son when he came downstairs instead of biting his pants! I never share links to anything on the interwebs even though i spend way too much time on it, but it all just blurs together and turns into one huge waste of time. Forgive me little swipes! I hope its ok. I don't really have a ton to share, but it's been a long emotionally charged week, and I'm just happy to be sitting here reading everyone's shares. I appreciate all of you! Have a great weekend friends!
"only accidently bit one crotch" š
In fairness, it was my five year olds...it's so close to his face! Too tempting!
Well, in that case...
Do you think animal control would come see about the coyote?
I saw them once a few years ago and called our local police department if they'd heard anything about them and they didn't seem concerned. They said "yeah we got coyotes".
Well, after I posted that question, I remembered my own failed experiences with our delightful (they're not delightful at all) animal control...they've laughed or dismissed me multiple times.
I am WAY TOO INVESTED about the cocker spaniel now!
Lol! He said he stopped his car and ran at them. They got spooked and dropped the cocker spaniel š
Shew!!
I am so glad to hear about the trainer helping the pup!
He's definitely back to being bitey this afternoon. He's currently sleeping it off š...but it's a process right??
Oh the puppy only bit one crotch? š Good job puppy! Good news, they grow out of all this. Bad news, it does take a year or two. Worth it though!
Oh I hope it doesn't take a whole year! My arms can't handle it!
I think they retain some of that puppy energy for a year but the behavior will improve much faster especially with a trainer!
I guess i do have one thing to share! Tonight the kids want to do our annual viewing of "Hocus Pocus" and I'm in charge of snacks. What's a good idea for dinner/snacks that I can throw together quickly? Any ideas?
All frozen appetizers for dinner is one of my small joys in life.
Ok but letās talk what frozen appetizers specifically. Because this is my new Friday night dinner plan.
This has me thinking of mozzarella sticks...
we do this every Christmas Eve - a true treat
This whole week was a turd. Anyone who works in schools knows that the shorter weeks always feel the longest, BUT I did the new Hamilton Peloton ride last night (Jillian and I will be doing it next week once she gets her bike, if anyone else wants to join us!) and I actually cried in it. Not because it was hard or anything, I was just so happy. I think I'm going to do the run (definitely NOT a runner, but I just love Ham so much) and the yoga class (also v not into yoga, but alas) this weekend.
One thing getting me through this week is the promise of the Penny and Sparrow live stream concert tonight. I'm going to make homemade pizza, drink lots of margs, and probably cry because their voices are so beautiful. Their Live in Texas, 2019 album has been SAVING ME during remote learning.
Also, a treasure and a turd for me lately is that I've finally adulted and created a budget. Like a legit budget. I always had a loose one in my head, but I signed up for YNAB and seeing it all laid out brings me such satisfaction and peace. The turd part comes in when I had to shuffle stuff around just so I could buy a ticket to the P&S concert AND be able to buy my weekly Harry Potter film (I've been buying one movie a week on Amazon Video for my weekly Sabbath film because I'm sick of chasing them around on various streaming platforms and I just want to have them forever), but I feel like a responsible adult with financial plans and goals and such.
Iām obsessed with YNAB. Youāll soon see what a treasure it is!!
I love YNAB. I have always been such a saver and feel so guilty spending money on myself. It has been so freeing to go into a store (at least theoretically, since I donāt really go into stores these days...) and buy something for myself or for my house.
Gah, live in Texas, 2019 is so good! š
It's been on repeat since it came out. Front-bottom shivers galore.
"Front-bottom shivers galore" might be my new favorite phrase. š
Can't take credit for it! Jamie B. coined the phrase
Even the galore bit? I don't remember that but I love it either way.
š nah, I added the galore! I guess that makes it a team effort
YNAB Is wonderful. I don't overthink about money now, which is a BLESSING. and its so much fun to parcel out my paycheck into categories each week!
Yes! I'm doing it all manually because I don't want to wait 3 days before my transactions show up in YNAB and I'm just a control freak in general. Plus I think it's fun to enter in transactions and categorize them and such.
WILL BE CRYING WITH YOU while I drink some sort of cocktail tbd.
Can I be ignorant and ask what YNAB is?
Yes! YNAB stands for You Need a Budget and its a software (they also have an app) that helps you plan your finances. If you decide to delve into it, send me a dm and I'll send you the tutorials I watched. It's definitely not something you want to go into blind.
I think I need help with this. I looked at every dollar awhile ago and it was too much.
I'm not gonna lie, YNAB was overwhelming at first, but once you get the hang of it, it's pretty simple. Dm me (@megs_trief) and I'll dig up the tutorials for you as well!
Thanks lady!
the Hamilrun was PERFECTION, even just walking along would be a treasure. and 7p ET on Tuesday? SEE YOU THERE.
YNAB is lovely, and I hope it brings you joy!!
Yes! Just put it in my calendar!
I love YNAB! I hope the concert is renewing to your soul. Hang in there.
Stop. You are going to make me buy a Peloton just for the Hamilton ride. And I donāt even like spinning. š
This is EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.
Oh, heck no I did NOT buy the bike. I bought a cheaper bike from Facebook Marketplace and just use the app on the iPad. The app has a 30 day free trial though if you want to do the run or the yoga class!
Oh you are right! I tried the app this summer. And by try I mean I watched a bike ride while I did dishes. My watch counted it as a workout š. It is a great app though and a great alternative to buying the bike!
I downloaded the app in March when they had a 90 day trial, and it has been such a fun and motivating way to stay motivated. and highly recommend for the Hamilcontent alone at this point!
I'll definitely have to give it another try for the Hamilton content. I can't resist.
Honestly its $14 for one month. And I think the Hamilton content alone is worth that much
Oh my planner self LOVES a budget but I hate math- I am a double standard!
I, too, am not a math person, but I like that YNAB basically does the math for you!
ALSO! The Brene Brown podcast episode on burnout was SO GOOD. I immediately ordered the book from the library and I'm so excited. I'm not a huge fan of Brown, but this episode should be required listening for all ears.
I will third this!
YES!
Thank you for sharing your internet rules, Erin. It's so easy to assume any number of terrible things about someone based on one post. I learned how it felt when people replied to my instagram story worried about my salvation when I shared my opinion on family separation. My inclination was then to question *their* salvation, and even though I didn't say anything, it's colored our interactions ever since. I'd rather respond differently in the future.
Survived the half marathon, y'all. Did it go super well? Not really, but I finished and that's all that matters at this point :) Having just moved to Florida in June, I wasn't expecting it to still be 90 degrees in October. The Lord humbled me and I needed it.
For treasures, I actually have physical items to share this week! I'm not much of a shopper, but a pair of sunglasses I got from Target broke and I had 3 days left in my 90-day window to return them. Pop pop!! So, I replaced them with this pair: https://www.target.com/p/women--39-s-cateye-plastic-metal-combo-sunglasses---a-new-day--8482--off-white/-/A-78141060 I feel like a queen when I wear them.
Also, I went nuts and got two shirts: https://www.target.com/p/women--39-s-short-sleeve-v-neck-t-shirt---universal-thread--8482--brown-s/-/A-78315364 in brown and blue/white and I'm in love! They're nothing super fancy, but just the boost I needed to continue changing out of my pajamas in the morning. The work from home life is too real lately.
SO PROUD OF YOU! And Florida running is no joke - happy to empathize any day. Not gonna lie, today felt "cool" at 76 :|
Thanks, friend! 76 does feel so nice out. Maybe I'll run again in the Winter when it dips down to something slightly more chilly
Congrats on the half marathon! I also have those Target shirts, and they are my very favorites! So soft, not too clingy.
Yes! I feel like a million bucks in them. Glad to hear you like yours, too!
You did the thing!
https://tenor.com/2nr9.gif
Lol.
Congratulations on the half marathon!!
Thank you!! Glad it's over haha
Life has been given...thank you...I now will go have the best day available to me.
I generally follow a rule of never ever read the comments, particularly on Facebook, and never comment. Last week however, I chose the low stakes issue of abortion to engage on and I've regretted it ever since. I'm sure I did not change any minds and still feel gross about it. I talked to my mom about it and she said "arguing in the comments isn't activism". Anyway I've been thinking about that comment a lot, and how I can tangibly contribute to things I care about, rather than just feeling sanctimonious on the Internet.
On a very unrelated note, I stashed a container of candy corn and peanuts in my bedroom, for when I want a treat and don't want to share. I'm feeling very good about that š
Please tell your mom she is a genius.
I feel that, Julie. I mentioned not engaging in/reading comments in my post too. Why can't all comment sections be like this one?! š
Your mom just reached through time and space and spoke to me.
My treasures this week...
My 12 year old son. He's autistic and an absolute joy. He's very upset that we are going to school in the "middle of a deadly world wide pandemic" but handling it like a champ. So far this year he's brought plastic shot glasses to drink water from because he didn't like the straw of his water bottle, told one teacher he wanted to be a bartender when he grows up, wrote a poem for another teacher stating he is paralyzed from the waist down (he is not), and told a PE coach to 'stop patronizing' him when the coach cheered even through his volleyball serve did not go over the net.
Thanks y'all he's amazing! We have a little hashtag #BmanisAUsome AU is the the code for autism in his paperwork. I love to tell him that autism makes him awesome!
Well he sounds like the absolute best. It's the poetry for me.
He sounds fantastic! What a treasure
I am into everything your son did this week.
wow, your son is a mood, definitely joining the fan club.
Can I join your sons fan club? I love him š
LOL your son with his coach made me LOL. Love it!
Oh my goodness, your son sounds like an absolute gem. ššš
Oh my gracious! I want to be Mrs. McCain when I grow up!
Hey everybody! Thank you so much for your kind encouragement re: last week's depression realization. It was definitely "a God thing" for several reasons I'd like to share! First of all, my workload increased exponentially this week, which always weirdly makes me feel less depressed than I actually am because I HAVE to get stuff done at work -- it's urgent. I think if I hadn't figured out what was going on last week, this week would have obscured the truth from myself. It also helped that Mental Health Day was Saturday, thus underscoring that it's ok to not be ok. Lastly, I started to look into finding a counselor last Friday and got quickly overwhelmed because all the therapists that were personally recommended to me did not take my insurance and were out of my price range (Three Kids in Daycare is the title of my current YNAB budget). I finally called 5 therapists from my insurance list basically blind. 2 called back. The first one who called, I booked. TURNS OUT she was the same therapist the women in my marriage development group I was a part of in last year had all raved about to me, and I had just forgotten. WHAT. So I meet her on Monday! Praise God!
My mood has been generally better this week due to the work keeping me busy, and also I implemented a few practices I think are helping. I've been diligent to turn on good music while I work, take two 10-minute walks a day, and started scheduling time on my calendar to dedicate to long-term projects I can never seem to get to. All that to say I think we're starting to turn a corner with major thanks to my Lil Swipes buds. *feeling loved emoji*
Erin, I loved all your rules for engagement! I think one I would add is Examine Why You Want to Comment. What is your intent? Is it to dunk on someone? Is it because your initial outrage needs an outlet? Or are you trying to better understand their views? I find myself leaning towards the former 2 (and am guilty of assuming someone is uneducated if they don't share my perspective). So it helps me if I keep on keeping on and then later, if I decide my comment is still needed, I can go back to that person's post and comment.
A few treasures!
1. I finally finished researching my ballot, which was hanging over my head like a giant unfinished project! Early voting is going on, so I've got about to week to find some time to head to the polls. I used a combo of candidate websites/Facebook pages, vote411, our local newspaper, and state newspaper endorsements to help me decide. Yay civil duties!
2. This "vintage" Water Lily & Orchid Native deodorant scent smells so good! I started a stick of it this week: https://www.nativecos.com/products/water-lily-orchid-deo-sensitive
3. Jillian's playlist from last week has GIVEN ME LIFE. Listen if you didn't last week! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/063Lfg322sVwc8lQDVwkUc?si=6hF25ctISzSx_yaf5HWsVQ
I somehow missed Jillianāa playlist so thanks for sharing!! So glad this week was better and you found a therapist! Your post is a good reminder to schedule in both time/ways to take care of myself daily and also to schedule time to work on long term projects!
So happy for you making some progress and finding a counselor! Also, I'm a huge fan of Native Deodorant! SO GOOD
Itās really magical!
These all sound so incredibly positive I'm so pleased for you. Have a wonderful weekend.
YAY for finding a counselor!!! ā¤ļø
Something I wasn't expecting was all the deodorant content on this newsletter, but I'm very here for it.
SO happy to hear of a turning of the corner, and so great to remember that no feeling is final. was totally the same way about voting, but i did it! I am SO delighted you are enjoying the playlist <3
Excited for you to have found someone with whom you can meet!
Ballot research is on my agenda for this weekend/early next week. MERCY.
You can do it!! I felt very overwhelmed but I broke it down into little chunks and did the dang thing.
Also, SAME re: Jillian's playlist!
omg THANKS GUYS <3
Iām so happy for you!
My daughter is big time creative energy, but doesnāt have a ton of patience for the more traditional school subjects. So, I was relieved to hear at her virtual P/T conference this week that sheās on track and doing well. Thinking of having a āYayy! Youāre doing your best and thatās all thatās ever required!ā celebration tonight, but thatās a little wordy to fit on a banner. šš»š
And in other school-related news, we got word this week that they will be letting the kids come back 4 days a week starting mid-November, and I shed actual tears. So maybe weāll also try to squeeze, āI love you so much, but I was never meant to be a teacherā on that banner.
Treasures:
- this sweet moment with Dwayne Wade https://www.instagram.com/p/CGYp64ZnI-t/?igshid=122z28819q66
- if you need a healthy cry, John Legend singing this song for Chrissy should do the trick: https://youtu.be/b1UkquKdJng
Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union seem so lovely
Dacia, this is our middle child. I'm gonna make this banner for sure.
i freaking loved both of your social media treasures, and an even bigger hooray for real life treasure!
Good morning! I have treasures!
š£ After four different family members contributing materials, three years, two attempts at hanging, and one tetanus shot, I finally completed a project for my sonās room. I have barnwood from my in-laws place and attached it to make a...plaque? I dunno, a thing to hang on the wall. Then I tied fishing lures that had belonged to both of my grandfathers and a great uncle who was like a grandfather (all who have passed away) and attached them to said barnwood and it is now hanging in my little manās room.
š§® I mentioned over in Comfortable Together that Iām a CPA and have recently had a tax deadline. Not only did I survive said tax deadline but I got an email from my boss yesterday (it was addressed to all four of the tax people in the firm) that said essentially, thanks for your hard work, Friday is a holiday for all of you so put 8 hours of admin on your timesheet and enjoy the day off. This, by itself, is just so kind. But when you factor in the fact that (a) I was already taking half day Wednesday and all day Thursday and Friday off (without pay) for my sonās fall break, and (b) that three of the four of us (myself included) are essentially part time, meaning we donāt get paid if we arenāt there, the word that immediately popped into my head was grace. He didnāt have to do that, especially for those of us who wouldnāt have been there anyway. It was such a nice surprise.
Now Iām off to enjoy some FINALLY cool weather here in Oklahoma. Happy weekend, fellow swipes!
I LOVE THIS PROJECT.
I am loving it too. I'm a VERY sentimental person and stuff that belonged to my grandparents is just...I don't know. I love to find ways to incorporate their life into mine now that they are gone. I love that my son loves to fish so this was a perfect way to do that. When my grandma passed a couple of years ago, my cousins and I went through her closet and picked out some of the clothes that we specifically remembered her wearing frequently and each had quilts made.
What a beautiful, beautiful project you've finished! Congrats on that and the deadline!
what a sweet gift from your boss! enjoy your long weekend <3
Unexpected time off is such a treasure! I think your project sounds so cool, and I bet you feel amaxi having it done.
I was so glad to get it done - I have had it on my mind for years, just couldn't quite figure out how to put it together but it all finally clicked! And my son loves it, which I love.
I can't handle the turds today, so I'm focusing on the treasures...
Today is my kids last day of virtual school, so I'm throwing them (and me) a party. Cake, balloons, the whole thing.
I've become super invested in the Seahorse and Serpent on The Masked Singer. Who are these angelic singers?! Is this what the pandemic has done to me?
I just started Mrs. Maisel, and I think I'm hooked. Shout out to my brother for sharing his Prime account with me.
Also Erin, I know "you didn't even talk about Zombies," but now I need to know your thoughts on it. The soundtrack is all my poor Alexa knows. "Someday" is on repeat in my head for most of the days. I don't know what other adult to talk about this with...
I love the Zombie show. Milo is extremely charming.
YES to the Masked Singer!!! AND what about the Sun??? I think the Seahorse might be Jessica Simpson. Do you have any guesses?
I've missed the episodes with the Sun! My husband watched and spoiled who lost, so I didn't watch. But maybe I need to go back and check it out!
Jessica Simpson is a good guess! I keep trying to determine clues by height, but obviously head pieces and shoes are throwing me off.
Yes, go back and watch especially if you can FF those commercials and filler content.
Back to full time school?? Dream come true. I'm celebrating with you even though i'm pretty sure my district is never going to send kids back to school lol. Eat some cake for me!
Yes, 5 days a week, face to face! My district has been slowly creeping back to 5 days. First 2 days, then 4 and next week they go all 5 days. Iāve had my kids full time virtual for a myriad of reasons but feel comfortable with how things are progressing here to send them back. šš¼
I love that show!! I havenāt seen this weekās yet but I love trying to guess them all. I even have a note saved in my phone with my guesses! (Nerd alert.) I have a guess or two about the seahorse but Iāve got nothing for the serpent (side note-I canāt actually watch the serpentās performances because that moving costume creeps me ALL THE WAY OUT).
I also have a note in my phone ;)
I'm curious your thoughts on the Serpent. I am convinced I know who the Sun is. Can we talk about that here without spoiling for anyone who doesn't want to see?
I have a strong feeling about the Serpent and one of the judges actually said my pick last week, but weāll see. But go watch the Seahorse this week. 99% of people should never try a Celine Dion song but she killed it!
Iām watching tonight with my mom-and youāre the second person to make a similar comment re: a Celine Dion song. I canāt wait to see it!
Just going straight to the treasures -
- this twitter thread my husband sent me: https://twitter.com/TalkingSchmidt/status/1315785468122988544
- I am super excited to start bringing this book on outdoor adventures with my kids https://www.ravenbookstore.com/book/9781615194803 It'll probably end up being mostly for me, but that's okay.
- I keep staring at Shadow & Light by Tsh Oxenrider https://www.ravenbookstore.com/book/9780736980609 (it's so pretty!) and getting excited for Advent.
- I made these cookies this week (minus the craisins - no dried fruit in cookies, please and thank-you) https://stellinasweets.com/2014/10/05/baked-sunday-mornings-pumpkin-harvest-dunking-cookies/ and have been having one with coffee in the mid mornings and such joy is had. You do have to chill the dough, which makes them a "need to plan" cookie vs. a spontaneous "I need homemade cookies NOW" cookie, but they were worth the extra effort.
- My husband and father-in-law took my boys camping last weekend and I had 36 hours to myself in my own home. RARE. What did I do? I hacked my crying by watching Frozen 2. GUYS. IT IS BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE. Olaf acting out the first Frozen was <chef's kiss>.
- Comfortable Together has been such a joy. Thanks for putting that together, Erin. I've re-discovered the healing that comes from journaling my thoughts and prayers.
Can't wait to read all of your treasures! Have a great weekend!
Oh my gosh that twitter thread was an experience! Hahaha
I love Frozen 2 so very much. I also watched it alone when I saw it for the first time and wept from the beginning of "Show Yourself" to the end of the scene where she finds out about her father.
Ah, Shadow & Light. š„° Iāve been looking forward to it since the teaser chapters last December! I couldnāt afford the hardcover this year but had a bunch of digital credits (thanks, Amazon Prime!) so I bought the Kindle version to read this year. But itās the kind of book that needs to be held and displayed. So beautiful!
Whenever I have to read on my kindle, I light my candle called "old books" not as good as real books but it helps.
Iāve always wondered about that candle. I was afraid it would smell like moldy pages ā so many of my old books do! How does it actually smell?
It smells like a book! Itās not perfect but itās pretty good!
Sarah, I've really enjoyed your presence over in Comfortable Together. Glad you're there, and also lol'd at that twitter thread. Thanks for sharing.
That Twitter thread got me good. Thanks for sharing!
36 hours alone sounds amazing, I cannot remember the last time that happened for me.
Yeah, Frozen 2 Olaf is top of his game, for sure.
Olaf recapping Frozen one was sublime.
ooooh love all of these, and have loved chatting with you in Comfortable Together. Thanks for showing up with your WHOLE self, Sarah.
Good morning, Swipes! Was hoping to do more of an intro, but alas, my little humans are in a major Friday mood. I will say re: social media - the manifesto is perfection. I guess one of my unspoken rules for myself is to do my best to stay away from comments (IG, articles, etc.). I honestly canāt imagine responding to anyone - tbh my stomach hurts thinking about it š (lol hi Iām a 9), but man, those comment sections can leave you in a puddle of despair at the heartlessness of humanity. SO, no thanks.
I did write out a short list of treasures throughout the week, so here we go:
āļøMy husband and I finally finished The Good Place last weekend. š I miss the characters already. And I already mentioned my 9-ness, but to add to that, my husband has never compared me to a TV show character more than he compared me to Chidi. š
āļøAlso finally started the podcast 1619. I cannot emphasize its importance enough. My best friend and I are listening separately and discussing over Marco Polo. Highly recommend a podcast club. š
āļøIn honor of Penny & Sparrowās live show tonight, which band(s) do you want to see as soon as we can go to shows again?!
For me, itās (obviously) Penny & Sparrow, aaaand MUNA, Joy Oladokun, Taylor Swift, and johnnyswim.
Wishing everyone a restful weekend. š
Chidi is definitely the Patron Saint of 9s
And Iām always hankering for John Mayer in concert
We had tickets to John Legend in September... it was canceled. :( Also, Maggie Rogers and the Highwomen.
Wow, the Highwomen and Maggie Rogers are definitely on my list.
NOOO that is so sad. š I hope you still get to see him sometime!! Yes Maggie is on my list too - I was supposed to see her in 2019 and ended up selling my ticket bc of a conflicting event. SIGH.
I want to see a Goodbye Road show! (Penny & Sparrow, Johnnyswim, Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors.)
Oh my gosh YES PLEASE. The dream.
I'm saving this season of The Good Place like it's the VERY BEST dessert.
YES DANIELLE. Ugh honestly I wish Michael could erase my memory of watching the show so I could do it all over again.
I'll "see" you at the show tonight! So excited! I was also daydreaming about going to concerts again and obvs P&S is on the top of the list, but I also want to see Needtobreathe again. I recently discovered a new (to me) band called Caamp and they've been the soundtrack to my fall so far, and I reallyyyyy want to see them live.
Also, if Hamilton is ever on stage again, I will put my life savings on the line to go see it.
Okay, I feel like you and I have veeeeery similar music tastes, so I will be checking out Caamp asap. SEE YOU TONIGHT š¤©
Yes! My favorite song by them is called "Misty" and it gives perfect fall vibes.
need to go google the podcast and "what is Marco Polo"...so not with it lately
ššš I will say, Marco Polo has been the best way to communicate with close friends, my parents & siblings during this pandemic. Video messages are super fun.
I really dig the idea of a podcast club! Also, I will see you at the first live and in person johnnyswim concert š I miss concerts.
YES. Their Live From the Backyard shows are giving me life, but I need to BE THERE.
"I SAW THE TIME KNIFE?!" would happily join in on a podcast club, and the music ep of 1619 with Wesley Morris changed my life in many ways.
mmm I really miss a country concert and Broadway shows that tour. your pics are GREAT.
The time knife, though. William Jackson Harper is a treasure.
I'm keeping this to a highlights only reel this week :-)
1) By God's grace and quite possibly a lot of professorial grade curving, I made a B on my Philosophy mid term. The majority of the test was automatically graded, so this is not my 'Eeyore-ness', it is just a fact: I barely cleared a D at first glance. I thoroughly enjoyed paying no attention to my class for my fall break and now I am slowly attempting to continue on, learn what I can, and #justfinish (the mantra for 2020, amiright?)
2) I don't know how many Treasures are sports fans, but I have loved the Atlanta Braves for almost all of my life, and this shortened baseball season and their full force run at the playoffs is bringing me nothing but joy. I stayed up wayyyyy too late last night to watch them win (they are up three games! Nobody predicted this) and was practically in tears at the end. I have no idea how this bookish nerdy girl fell in love with baseball decades ago but my boys are bringing me such joy. (Side note: several of the Braves are VERY easy on the eyes, so that is helpful;-) Also, these games are destroying my school/study time, so there is that.)
3) I keep a bag in my car for my kids' masks so I never have to hunt them down... but I was misplacing mine! Enter these super cute mask chains where at least I don't lose them if I am wearing them:https://modishdesign.co/products/vegas-mask-chain (they have fancier ones and even some kid appropriate ones as well).
4) My birthday is next week. My husband asked me to find a birthday present for myself last night, and I decided I wanted my first pair of Rothys. Buuutttttt apparently everyone who wears size 7-7.5 ALSO love Rothys, and there was nothing I wanted available. My husband, being an enneagram five and a much more efficient shopper than my indecisive 9, promptly found the perfect pair for my birthday from The Root Collective, and I couldn't be more excited. It's truly wonderful to be known and loved so well. (If you need some shoes to make you happy in 2020, here they are:https://therootcollective.com/collections/flats/products/gaby-flat-in-mustard)
Grace and peace, fellow Treasures.
My husband loves the braves too so he has been keeping me posted haha
Those flats are SUPER FUN. I feel you on the 7-7.5 problems š
I like to think that there is nothing average about me... except, apparently, my shoe size:-)
ALSO my parents and brothers are huge Braves fans too. I've been getting updates on all our family texts/Marco Polo haha. So great that they won!!
Baseball is the obvious sport for bookish nerdy girls šš»āāļø! All that quiet, subtle strategy and technical mechanics? Itās a brainy sport! I was thrilled to see the Braves back in the playoffs, too. They were a fave team in the Smoltz days and have a special place in my heart, though I was also happy to see the Dodgers make another run because they were robbed of a fair championship last year. š¤¬ Iām just hoping the Astros get eliminated; it wouldnāt be right for them to go back to the Series without fans present to give āem hell. š
John Smoltz is my favorite Braves player!!! A great joy of my heart was when I had the opportunity to see John Smoltz pitch as a reliever in his "second career" in a game against the Cincinnati Reds. I almost cried over it. Also, Booooo Astros.
Smoltzy. š„° He was always my momās fave, and I loved watching Chipper Jones. The Braves were our fave playoff team until I defected to the Yankees. š But they have a special place for us. My college roommate is from Houston so we always went to Astros games in the 90s (and the Astrodome) but it was a longsuffering fandom, so I was thrilled for her when they won the first series. But now that theyāve been revealed... š .
Chipper was definitely my crush, but Smoltzie is my fav. I absolutely love that heās calling the game:-) Gooooo Braves. Also, heavy Ts and Ps for anyone else who is staying up for a baseball game that starts at 9 pm EST. I am NOT a college student anymore, people.
Love those flats!
Happy early birthday! I hope the shoes arrive in time to be worn for the big day. You'll have to report back on if they are comfortable. I'm looking for a new pair of shoes and was looking at the rothys site actually.
A man who can buy shoes for you is a Treasure. (My husband is pretty good at it too). It also makes me think of the 90s movie Only You (Marissa Tomei and stoned Robert Downy Jr. I rode HARD for that movie. Still think it's great)
That movie! Ugh so good!!
My husband bought me two pairs of work shoes when we were dating and it was/still is the cutest thing he's ever done. So much so that I kept them for 10 years after I stopped wearing them just because of the gesture!
Oh my goodness, I loved that movie!!
Just in case anyone likes those shoes above, this might give you a discount:-) http://i.refs.cc/gbuomjLU?smile_ref=eyJzbWlsZV9zb3VyY2UiOiJzbWlsZV91aSIsInNtaWxlX21lZGl1bSI6IiIsInNtaWxlX2NhbXBhaWduIjoicmVmZXJyYWxfcHJvZ3JhbSIsInNtaWxlX2N1c3RvbWVyX2lkIjo2MzA5NTg2OTZ9
That's a ridiculously long code, so sorry
We have been loving watching the Braves this week too. Not so much because we are Braves fans, but because weāre San Francisco Giants fans and are therefore legally obligated to hate the Dodgers.
We will gladly take the 'accidental' fans :-)
Love all of this!!
The link for the sauce E book didnāt work, boooo. Maybe itās my phone?
Happy Friday friends. Letās have the best day available to us. š
Yes I totally blew this and put the wrong link. But it's active for just a little bit longer! https://bri-mckoys-shop.myshopify.com/
Hi~unless Bri changed her mind I think the ebook offer ended yesterday.
Agreed - I think it was by midnight last night.
My number one coping strategy for social media lately has been snoozing/hiding people from my newsfeed. I just find it too difficult to engage in a productive, in-person conversation with people who I deeply care about after Iāve seen the things that get said/shared on the internets. I find myself gearing up for specific in-person interactions with my debate points ready to fire, which means Iām not actually listening or hearing what the other person is saying. Not sure itās the best strategy, but for the amount of emotional and mental energy I have available right now- internet ignorance is allowing me to better love people in person.
Treasures this week:
1. We got a new fridge!! Our old one came with the house and was in rough shape (some fun features included the fridge door not closing completely, so that it was both super energy efficient and also a fun activity for the oldest little wild woman to find random hot sauce bottles to carry around the house). We saved for a year, ordered a new fridge in June and itās finally here! š
2. My mother-in-law usually watches the little wild women on the one day a week that I go into the office, but she is on a trip with her sisters this week. October-December is my busiest time of the year at work, and I was feeling really overwhelmed at the prospect of missing a day in the office. My husband volunteered to take a vacation day and stay home with the girls. So yesterday, he had Dad Day and took them to a local farm that has all kinds of fall stuff (pumpkin patch, barn full of hulled corn, petting zoo, slides made out of farm equipment, etc). Iām just so thankful to have a husband who is such a great dad and truly a partner in this life.
3. The little wild women are going through a pushing/fighting phase (*please let it be a phase*) but there are little glimmers of them becoming friends that fill me with such hope (and sometimes tears). Most recently, we were driving somewhere and the youngest was tired and NOT interested in being in the car, and the oldest sang her a little lullaby. š
I deleted Facebook almost 3 years ago and recently muted a couple of family members on Instagram for that very reason! It was affecting my love for them and I just canāt deal with some of their beliefs right now. Extra cookies for your husband for Dad Day! āŗļø
My FB feed is now almost exclusively marketplace and yardsale group posts which I am very okay with. I was super late to joining Insta and have kept it pretty locked down (I have a private account and donāt follow any of my immediate family members) so it is still a delightful mix of embroidery, funny videos, cute babies, adoption triad members, and people who challenge me but also bring joy.
Well that is precious.
I wish I would have been able to write down the ālyricsā as she was screeching them, but it was something like āYou okay, Mae Mae. Cora loves you. Mommy loves you.ā šš
Yes, me, too! Snoozing and muting people (including family) is the only thing keeping me sane.
The moments of harmony between siblings always make my heart melt and give me hope that the constant fighting really is a phase!
I donāt follow people only to uphold my already deeply held beliefs. I follow people of different experiences and belief systems to learn. That is why, when I read a comment that insults and ācorrectsā I wonder why the follower is there. Is it news to you that this account is in complete opposition to your worldview? Did you get here by mistake? If so, move on. If youāre here on purpose because you think this account has value, then sit still and listen.
Yes! I love learning about someone else's experiences and their perspectives. Its often so interesting.
I will never understand people (ahem, women) trying to reframe a personās *actual life experience* as a way to justify their differing beliefs. It drives me crazy!
That's a word!
preachhhhhh
A WORD.
I always think the same thing!
Today the treasure is that CFA takes apple pay. I just drove all the way to work at 6 am, expecting to grab coffee and a breakfast sandwich on my way to arrive promptly at 6:30. (I get there earlier than everyone else so I can leave early.) Got all the way here, 30 minutes from my home, and realized I donāt have my wallet. My local coffee shop doesnāt take apple pay. So chick fil a it is. Cant wait for the weekend because THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME THIS WEEK.
You deserved those minis.
oh you KNOW I got the minis.
Listen if I had a quarter for every time this happened to me, I wouldnāt need a wallet. Can everyone please accept Apple Pay?!
I wouldnāt need a purse! I would be a FREE ROAMING WOMAN if everywhere took apple pay!
I havenāt watched it yet but I know in my soul that that documentary on butter is what I need in my life today. Any recs for where to get a drive thru loaf of fresh bread?
Panera!
Panera?
Hi friends!
I'm here for the the internet engagement commandments. I would also add, give it time. Walk away for an hour or two and see if you still feel like saying something. Sometimes we all just caught up in the moment.
Treasures for this week include:
āØ I got watch a friend watch Hamilton for the first time Saturday. We laughed, we cried, we sat on the edge of my furniture with great anticipation. She was flabbergasted at the talent she saw on display. At the conclusion, she said "I felt like I just felt every emotion over the course of three hours". We also had a fall themed charcuterie board that was just *chef's kiss*. It was complete with apple cider mimosas (thank you for that recipe, Sarah!) and cinnamon swirl chocolate chip pumpkin butter bread š
āØI forgot to share this last week, but "Better than We Found it" by Maren Morris has been getting me through https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4rr6LewdIU&ab_channel=MarenMorrisVEVO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4rr6LewdIU&ab_channel=MarenMorrisVEVO
āØThe comfortable together community has been such a gift this week. I echo Erin's sentiments about it feeling like a balm for my soul.
āØThe bachelorette came back did week as did the recaps! šššš A friend and I watched it over the phone on Wednesday. We laughed just as much about us trying to sync or devices to be close to the same spot as we did about the awkward intros, Clare's clichĆ©s, and alllllll of those cropped pants.
āØ I was more intentional about taking my afternoon walks this week, thanks to our conversations about biblical rest. It helped.
Happy Friday, friends! I'm glad we all made it through another week and can be here together. š
My husband stayed up to watch it with me when it dropped (at 3 AM eastern toile bc I am very committed) and it was such a joy to watch someone I love experience something I love. So glad you got that experience too!
I never actually watch the show but I live for the recaps - a true treasure this week!
What a fantastic song and video thank you
I feel like we need a big ol talk about the cropped pants and shoe/sock situation of some of those men. Just like one of my friends can't date a man who even owns a turtleneck (because that means he might WEAR IT), I take issue with men in a suit having exposed ankles. That's a Liz Lemon sized DEALBREAKER!
yes- why are the suit pants SO SHORT?! Are they that tall? I do not understand. Does this make me old?!
I can deal with exposed ankle, I guess. But listen, you put on a turtle neck and I'm assuming you're about to give me a lecture on all the ways in which you are better than me. What is it about that turtle neck energy?!
They just give a whole weird energy lol
Loving that Maren Morris song, thanks for sharing it!
omg thank you for the recipe, and I LOVEEEE that you got to experience a Hamilton first timer together! what a spread worthy of that masterpiece. and loving chatting with you ALL week in Comfortable Together.
I now understand why Jamie said she would pay for a friend's ticket to just watch them watch it the first time - it makes it more emotional than ever.
I've also enjoyed chatting with you all week. You guys are becoming some of the best internet friends!
Another excellent rule!
Cinnamon Swirl Chocolate Pumpkin Butter Bread?!?! š
https://www.halfbakedharvest.com/cinnamon-swirl-chocolate-chip-pumpkin-butter-bread/
I even made it with gluten free flour it was still a-may-zing!
I made my MILās pumpkin bread two weeks ago and it is such a balm right now. Fall is my favorite season and itās been so weird this year. It was so nice to have this one bit of tradition.
You're even more jolly after eating it - if you can, eat it warm with a smather of salted butter. omygosh - sooo good.
First off, Erin, your Rule for Internet Engagement #2 reminds me of a new term I learned this week, which is called Sealioning. Have you heard of that? I wish Iād understood the term and what to look for before painstakingly laying out education in hopes that the questioner was sincerely there to learn. And in regards to #4, The Real Life Test, letās please apply that to call centers as well. I used to work at one, and the things people would say to me (I assume because I was in their eyes an inanimate object to direct frustrations on)....
The French butter dude video was enjoyed greatly in my house, as we love all things butter. And I am in love with the Dance Theatre of Harlem students, especially the one dude whose movements are just the slightest bit off ...heās me. I feel a close personal connection.
I love that video of the Nobel Neighbors. So much. What a blessing to start my day with. Thank you for these.
I returned two of my four kidsā devices to their school and officially withdrew them this week. The other two are doing fine with virtual learning, but these two caught me on every. Single. Thing. I tried so hard to make it work. But going back to homeschool, as weād done 3 years ago when I only had one school-age, felt in my heart like one more desperate attempt to ābe normalā and not feel like an outsider had been thwarted. So I cried. But they love doing school with me, without screens. And I love not having to police usage of 4 devices. My friend encouraged me by saying āyouāre adapting to life circumstances! Youāre a chameleon!ā which she meant as a joke, but I took as a compliment and very healthy perspective.
So you. Youāre not failing. Youāre not a quitter for trying another way. Youāre a chameleon. I wish I had lil treasures to share, but linking is hard. š
Ugh... unfortunately people of color know about sealioning well (even if they don't know the specific term), and I experienced a fair share of it this week. It can be disheartening to exert such energy towards explaining and teaching to find that it was purposeless.
Love the concept of being a chameleon!
Goodness gracious, why must some humans act so horribly? Iām sorry you experienced that!
Sealioning! Brilliant!
<3
You're a badass.
Three cheers for chameleons! Your friend is right.
Chameleon- I love it! Thanks for sharing.
A chameleon!!! Yay!!
*faught, not caught.
Writing this comment from Still-In-Bed which is a whole mood this week.
I have a heaviness from the weight of the election and just feeling so hamstrung and incapable of gathering the information I need to make *my* choice. Not my parents choice. Not my boyfriends choice (though thankfully we run pretty much the same politicswise) Not my friends choice. *MY* choice.
And at the same time i feel incapable of praying through my anxiety about it, and other stuff. Which I know I should be doing daily. So I stagnate and lay in bed with the covers over my head trying to deal and failing.
So thereās the Turd.
That and the anxiety I have about the possibility of hurting the Boy. What if we start talking about SeriousThings ā¢ļø and we come to an impasse and we have to part ways? I donāt want to go through that Sad, but even more I donāt want him to go through that Sad. Heās had enough sad.
I known logically that if we have to part ways itās for the best and I would be okay. Itās better to listen to those things NOW on this side of marriage than face them for the first time once weāve committed lives to each other.
Bear in mind this is all a hypothetical that Iām freaking out over. But things are going well. Surely thereās road bumps ahead?
But Treasures. There are still those.
- one was the 16 hour road trip the Boy and I made to pick up a wheelchair van for his dad. Half was spent together in the truck talking and jamming to music. He put on Hamilton (theatre kidddd) and i faced the choice of a) letting loose and being my normal weird self singing to Hamilton in the car or b) saving both his ears and my pride and not exposing my self so fully to him š i kinda fell in the middle... but mercies being new everyday, when the Winter Ball transition into Helpless came on and the inevitable shoulder shrugging and eyebrow wiggling to the flirty āhey hey hey heyā came out, I looked over at my Boy as we drove through the Mark Twain national forest and he was right there vibing with me and I have never liked him more. š I didnāt sing Helpless AT him, but I could have.
The other half of the trip was him in the van and me driving his bougie truck. We had walkie talkies so even though we were separated for 5+ hours we could still make comments to each other the whole way. It was a delight.
Sarah, my husband of 29 years (total of 33 together) disagree more on VERY IMPORTANT THINGS than we ever have. I chalk it up to me sort of coming into my own as I get older and wiser; however, we still love each other and like each other as much as ever (most of the time haha). I'm repeating much of the other amazing Lil' Swipes' words of comfort, but I just wanted to chime in as someone who's been in it for the long haul with my man...things work out...hang onto grace and forgiveness and kindness and most of the things will usually sort themselves out.
I feel this so much. I was honestly probably kind of a pill to date IMO because I took everything so seriously. (Not saying you are a pill... it sounds like the boy loves you!) I had been hurt before and had a really hard time following the advice āyou are young, just have fun dating!ā Anyway... I said to my husband recently, āI wish I could go back and tell myself that my life with you was going to be so incredible and happy, and not to worry.ā On the other side of the coin, I was so confident during our engagement, and had no doubts of this being the right person to marry (something I had always worried about knowing for sure). So it kind of does pay to be an anal detective about compatibility while dating.
As a fellow planner and worrier I totally understand the hypothetical freak out. I want to know what is going to happen and when and account for all the what ifs. I don't have any wise words that haven't been shared in the comments, but wanted you to know I see you.
Also the road trip treasure basically made me giddy. Love it. Try and hang on to these thoughts while you dodge anxiety in your blanket fort.
Ah! I totally get the feeling of being scared of SeriousThings TM but also knowing that it means that your relationship is building? Also, totally get the worrying about hypotheticals. My goodness do I worry about things that aren't even on my husband's radar... and it's not because he's inattentive... it's because my propensity to worry and my wild imagination get together and make a Nightmare Team (opposite of a dream team).
The Hamilton connection! Swoon! How exciting! I feel like that incites the same feeling as Buddy the Elf when he runs into his dad's office and is like "I'M IN LOVE I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT" (then he says some insensitive things to Mr. Game of Thrones... but the scene does start well).
If it's any consolation: Mr. Moon and I do not agree on so many things. Like. So many pretty core secondary things. It's can be frustrating, but we've learned how to work with it and just accept that we love the other person. Which is why sometimes when we're "discussing" these things, we have to just tell the other person: "you are a child of God" with a slightly forced smile. š
I worry about hypotheticals and rehearse scenarios in my head, too. (Enneagram 6 here...) I often get so deep into playing out the scenario that I nearly forget it's not actually happening...it sounds oversimplified, but it helps me to take a deep breath and tell myself that all I have is what is in front of me today and right now I am doing the best that I can with what I know in this moment. I hope this might be encouraging to you. <3
Itās hard not to worry about whatās next. Because Iād love to plan my way through the unknown. But as someone who married the only boy I ever seriously liked I get that. In fact we had several hurdles that shouldāve been big issues but in the end were not. 1.) He āforgetā to break up with his college girlfriend before leaving college. Didnāt remember to tell her they were done until we were engaged. This makes him sound terrible- I promise heās not. 2.) We got engaged 3 months after we met. Neither of us had our own place or real jobs. 3.) He tried to break up with me one before our wedding- I said no.
Weāve been married extremely happily for 22 years and have six kids. Donāt think too far ahead.
This is very comforting Erin!
You guys sound delightful together. I hope it works out the way you want it to! It will be fine either way if you think about it, I'm probably older than you so I'll tell you this: there are so many delightful people in the world. So my point is don't worry, and enjoy these wonderful moments.
SeriousThings TM are good to talk about <3 keep praying and moving forward, and do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
So glad the Hamilvibes were STRONG
they were VERY strong. ššš
I stress over possible conflict so much, that I very sympathetically hope you are able to put the fear aside. The road trip/walkie talkie adventure sounds absolutely delightful! Road trips are an excellent way of revealing compatibility (or not).
I've been thinking about your career decisions that you mentioned a week or two ago. I hope you've found some clarity in that regard!
Nothing yet on the career front - library committees are VERY slow. thank you for checking! <3
I missed this conversation but I'm a youth specialist at a public library so I am familiar with the inherent slowness of library committees. Sending all good thoughts your way!
Sometimes the 'potential' stress of something is so much worse than the ACTUAL stress of it. I get the agony of knowing these conversations need to be had, and dreading them taking place. Praying for you to have wisdom and grace to talk levelheadedly about the things that matter to you, and for the boy to be open minded and hearted to hear what you have to say.
How can anyone get through "hey hey hey hey" without throwing a few flirty glances around?? It's virtually impossible, but if you want to see someone slay at it, you should see my seven year old, long lashed, Hamilton loving boy :-)
Oh my goodness I can only imagine F killing it š heās a cutie patootie!
Thank you for you prayers š ive experienced the whole potential stress vs. actual stress enough to know itās not always so bad as I make it out to be.?
It is HARD to not be flirty when they "hey hey hey hey" comes on! My enneagram nine self sees and feels all of those emotions about differing political opinions and serious things. š
I love this imagery of you and Boy! It makes my heart melt!
Spoken like a true E5. š
No, thats a good point. Its a recurring theme of mine to worry about hypotheticals. I've gotten myself in trouble this way in the past - So yes. Don't Borrow Trouble indeed!
Just know you are not alone in your anxiety over the hypotehticals!
Hello to all! First time commenting. This little space has meant so much to me since I found it. And when I got the email about comfortable together I signed up right away but havenāt gotten any emails with content since. So I probably did it wrong didnāt I? I totally forgot it started this week (such is life with two toddlers). Any tips on figuring out if I actually joined? All I have is an Apple Pay receipt saying I did pay for something. š¤·š¼āāļø
Also I realize the comments section is not the place to figure this out but I have 10 minutes of alone time and I have used it all searching for another way. I am not technology/internet literate. Should I just directly email Erin? My email is ansleymcknight@gmail if anyone can help!
Mine kept ending up in my promotions folder (Thanks Google!)
Check your junk mail folder- it might be there. š¤š¤
Ansley! Shoot me an email at hello@erinhmoon.com and I will hook you up! So sorry you've had trouble! -Erin
As someone who has literally received actual hate mail, like someone put pen to paper, found a stamp, walked to the dang mail box to mail me a letter about all the ways Iām a garbage person I love the list. Just because we donāt agree, lead with grace. It doesnāt hurt I promise. Assume the best, you wonāt break. Also letās stop assuming people are dumb and they didnāt research whatās best FOR THEM.
I have so few treasures this week but I know they exist. My thyroid hormone medication dose is being adjusted and itās made me feel like a salted slug. Tonight is family night. We eat chicken wings and I make a salad bar, we all pick out movie candy from the candy bin and watch one episode of the umbrella academy. This plan for tonight is what is holding me together today.
Weāve been adjusting the meds I take to manage my fatigue/sleep issues with fibro and it has thrown everything off. Hope it get a easier for you soon!
I hope for you too! Medicine adjusting blows!!
I think my thyroid meds need to be adjusted, as I am a current co- member with you of the salted slug club. I will say that the end of this week has been an improvement over the beginning. I have been reading this newsletter for weeks now, and am finally posting a comment....so hello to all. My treasure this week is that our local grocery chain had some really fantastic ice cream on sale for 40% off, and I have been eating some every night.
My husband kindly said if itās not helping stop taking it. Oh honey if I stop taking it, Iāll die! But thanks!! Itās the worst waiting for the adjustment to be right!
Erin, I can 100% relate to the thyroid meds ruling your life. I had a complete thyroidectomy in 2016 and it's been a rollercoaster ride ever since. That little pill can make or break us. Hang in there!
My thyroid went to be with Jesus like 19 years ago. My medication hasnāt had to be adjusted but just a few times. Those times though are a beast!!!
They are! It's rough.
The salted slug analogy is spot on by the way!
Wow, actual hate mail. That's a lot of effort. I'm sorry that was directed to you.
Your family night plan sounds like just what the doctor ordered. Hoping it sends the salted slug feelings packing.
Sorry to read it was a rough week Erin. I hope this weekend is restorative!
Also, solidarity on hate mail. Someone was so committed to making sure I knew their feelings about my worship leading, they sent an anonymous (of course) sealed letter to me via the Sunday morning offering. Thank you, Karen, for your feedback and edification.
Could you imagine if you read the note the following Sunday as an opener?!? Sometimes I just want to be as petty as the sender! I just hate the dang high road sometimes!
Ugh, rude. I wish you could see the face I made when I read that š
A previous job was recording the church contribution envelopes, including those from Sunday morning offering plates, and I was always amazed (and saddened) by the notes people put there. Itās a bad look for Christianity. š
One of the churches my husband worked for had a policy all notes placed in the offering plate hit the trash can. Not one single staff member ever saw them.
Usually their complaints about the service or the message.
There was also a regular note on an empty contribution envelope that said, ā Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.ā Never any money; just that verse written on the empty envelope. š
Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft. Contribute THIS Karen!
Oh good grief, thank you kind person for your useless words. But Jesus wants his dang money!!š¤£š¤£š¤£
Well, my plan WAS homemade pizza for tonight, but you may have just convinced me that it needs to be wings.
Megan, I made pizza for lunch BECAUSE OF THIS COMMENT, so at least someone can have pizza. (also, my fave life hack: parbake and freeze pizza dough so you can top it and pop in the oven frozen. SO GOOD. Instructions here, pick your own fave dough: https://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-homemade-frozen-pizza-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-186527 )
Bri McCoyās wing recipe is perfection and easier than humanly possible!
Yes, I've made it before! So good! I think I'll just swing through a Wing Stop though.
Girl, buy the wings!! If I didnāt have so many teenagers Iād buy them too!!
Chicken wings and salad might be my favorite foods ever
My favorite food is cheeseburgers, which makes me feel like Joey from friends who loved sandwiches. š¤£š¤
cheeseburgers are amazing. Maybe cheeseburgers and salad are my favorite. Ok, and fries too.
Wings, salad (look its veggies, nutrition is present!), candy and the UA sound like the BEST combination!
Sending some internet love-mail your way today, Erin. I love your family night plans, and I hope The Umbrella Academy is as mind-blowing-ly good for you guys as it has been for me. What a great show.
oh E, i'm so sorry for salty slug week. love you friend.
(and obvi, love your rule. so so so terrible and so sorry it happened to you)
Thank you. Salty slug vibes will soon leave!
Iām so jealous you have The Umbrella Academy to watch. I miss watching it.
If you knew the amount of hours that went into finding a series for all of to watch youād for sure faint! I wanted something long term so I didnāt have to find a new movie every week! It also had to interest all the teenagers in our home! It was a task! Iām praising God for the umbrella academy!
Seriously no minor miracle to find something for everyone / Iām with you on that. PS Iām sorry that you ever received hate mail. I prescribe listening to Natalie Maines sing āNot ready to make niceā
I truly hate the post office for no real reason. So I was slightly impressed that they used actual mail to mail it!
Your family night sounds divine!!! I hope it brings some rest to your soul!
Me too! Itās a nice time to remember I like my peopleš¤
Enjoy your family night, Erin!
Big internet hugs! I hope family night is a bit restorative and your medication adjustment adjusts soon. (Side note: Umbrella Academy! I love that show so much)
Same Dana. Same. š
My candy bin WAS well hidden until I caught our 4 year old standing on top of the fridge rummaging around in the cabinet looking for the bin! I had to relocate it. The rule is you cannot have candy unless you watch the show!
My mom used to let us have one piece of candy in the afternoons before we had "quiet time," but we had to spell it out instead of saying "candy" so our toddler brother wouldn't ask for some before he was supposed to nap. He caught on pretty quickly though, and soon he was asking mom for "D-Y" all day long.
My mom used to hide candy that she did not choose to share with her children. Can you imagine?! Haha now that Iām a mom, yes. Anyway, anytime she went out to do errands it was our mission to find her hiding spot. Good times.
i try to have a candy bowl out every year for Halloween. Bowl is empty by the end of the day guaranteed. Feels pointless. I refill it a few times and just give up way within the first week of October š and it's a cute little bowl!!
What super power do these people posses?
Hiii šš» Long time lurker, first time commenter. My mid-Southern background has told me I cannot participate if I'm not going to contribute, but this week I remembered two things!
- Oral History of the Office on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/754gQ0B99INeV484FQB5vm?si=XOwcbUzzSBWm9ooWpCD6Zw
I doubled over laughing 8 seconds into the first episode (when I realized I was listening to the host Brian Baumgartner, who plays Kevin, whose real voice is v v different from his character's), and I laughed out loud every single episode. I teared up every episode. I was mentally transported from 2020. It's a win.
- Sweet Potato Snickerdoodles from the Kitchn https://www.thekitchn.com/sweet-potato-snickerdoodle-recipe-23079001
You will need 2 sticks of butter and an s-word loaf of sugar for these cookies, but they also contain a super food. They are perfectly salty-sweet-savory, and I want to eat them all. I'm sneak eating one right now before my kids wake up, and they are real good with coffee, too.
Also, an internet engagement rule I would submit for discussion is to comment with the intent to have a conversation. When we say, "well, actually, sjsbeks djdjevebsjs ejdjsjdnve MIC DROPPPP š£ļøš£ļøš£ļø," we boost our own ego, but it's not furthering a dialogue. I am exhausted by mic drop as a style of communication. We cannot just mic drop one another back and forth forever.
Happy Friday! š
Super foods make everything healthy! š
GOING TO MAKE THOSE COOKIES THIS WEEKEND. (yes, it deserves all caps)
hi from the west coast! (tbd if you east coast timezoners will see this)
A few treasures:
- I'm reading Miracles and other reasonable things by Sarah Bessey and love it. I really enjoy her writing style... and the content is thought-provoking and enjoyable, too.
- I made this cabbage/sausage pasta and it was SO DECADENT and delicious. https://food52.com/recipes/81852-sausage-pasta-recipe-with-cheese-cabbage
- my husband and I are working on creating a covid-friendly outdoor hangout and it's not perfect, but it's covered and the outdoor heater is coming, but it had its inaugural hang on Tuesday night for the Bachelorette.
- potty-training success! look, this is the world I live in, but the two-year-old got out of the bath, announced, "Clementine go poop" and then climbed on the toilet and went. We did a naked dance throughout the house to celebrate. I also love that she refers to herself in the third person. Her daycare brought it up, like, hey this is a thing, and I just refuse to be worried about it because it's so dang funny to me and the one time in life you can do it with confidence. (She's just 26 months old... give her a break!)
My husband and I have been describing the party we will HOPEFULLY one day have when our 3yo poops in the potty for the first time
My two year old also does the third person thing. And HOORAY CLEMENTINE!! That is seriously impressive š
Fellow mom of a young 2 yo here, and mine loves to talk in third person too! My daughter is also not at all interested in potty training yet, so I think youāre doing great! Daycare can chill.
I agree on the mic drops! Commenting with intent to have a conversation is a great rule.
Sweet Potato Snickerdoodles?!
Yaaassss. With browned butter.
š Iām so guilty of mic drop commenting, aka drive-by snark (but I never *name it*). Iām really bad about dropping one frustrated comment to people I donāt know and then never engaging again. Ugh.
I get it! The release of putting your thoughts out there feels really good, especially when it seems like you're the only sane person in the post.
"and an s-word loaf of sugar." That alone was a glorious contribution, Traci!
thanks for the recipe. i've been thinking of making pumpkin something. Maybe i can swap the sweet potato for pumpkin. I need to do more baking
My mom makes amazing chocolate chip pumpkin muffins, which we always ate for breakfast even though they are...cake š, but I've been swapping pumpkin for sweet potato and feeling a little better about it!
Letās sign that rule into existence ASAP!!!!!
I heartily co-sign that internet engagement rule.
Oh praise from whom all blessing flow! Those cookies sound amazing!!!! I bet I could count it as a science class and get one of my kids to bake themš
Are they reading? Problem solving? I'd for sure count that :)
Its a school day of work in one recipe!
Yes and math too. All that measuring.
Yes, math!!
Thank you for being a human who teaches other humans to be nice humans. I need a good dose of optimistic logic every day.