BIG ANNOUNCEMENT ENERGY before we jump in this Friday:
Comfortable Together: A 10-day online community to walk through The Comfortable Words is HAPPENING on October 12-23. Here’s how it works:
If you’ve purchased The Comfortable Words anytime over the past year, you should have received an email yesterday that gets you access to the private group. You’ve also gotten an email that gives you a discount code to share with a friend, so they can join us. If you didn’t get that email and you want to join the private group, just reply to this email and we’ll get you squared away.
If you haven’t purchased The Comfortable Words yet, you can do that here. And since you’re a Lil Swipe, a member of the Best Gang on the Internet™️, you always get the biggest discount (20%) with code SWIPEUP.
Here’s what you get:
➰ Daily emails and audio drops, as well as the PDF of all the content. ➰ Bonus content like playlists and resources. ➰ Discussion questions. ➰ Community with others who are walking through the material.
The community begins on October 12 and lasts through October 23 (no weekends).
I’m really excited to walk through this with you all. If you can’t do the group now, we might do it again. We’re trying it out right now, but if Lil Swipes is any indication, I think it will be a tender and encouraging time!
Let’s hit these treasures, yes?
🤝 We Got You Club is in full-swing! If you can please stop in and see if there are any needs you can meet. I also added another tab (brilliantly suggested by our very own Lindsay S) called I Got This! If you have any special skills that aren’t necessarily tied to money (Lindsay suggested things like looking over resumes or newborn advice), feel free to throw that in the second tab and that will help others see what you can offer and reach out.
Also, I got some great advice from Sarah Seifipour on Instagram about medical bills (she sent this to me in response to so many people dealing with stressful medical bills in the We Got You Club document):
💉 I mean just put this in my veins. The eyebrows. The sweater. Just perfection. Put it in the Louvre:
📚 I got to endorse a great book that happens to be extremely pertinent for this current season: Quieting the Shout of Should by Crystal Stine. It releases October 6, and if you pre-order, she’s including some fun bonuses. Go check it out here.
👩🏻⚖️ I thought this piece on RBG’s death and how institutional failures are ruining everything was convicting, as well as beautifully-written.
❤️ Another episode of Faith Adjacent came out on Sunday, and this month, we’re talking about purity culture. I loved making this episode, and I especially loved chatting with Devi Abraham of the Where Do We Go From Here podcast. Thank you if you’ve already listened and shared - I’ve loved hearing what you thought about it.
This newsletter is seriously such a bright spot in my week. I signed up for The Comfortable Words the SECOND I read the email last night... very excited for this. We haven't been back to our church since pre-COVID (they started in-person services in May... side-eye), and I'll be honest, I've not kept up with all of the online things and was starting to fill a bit lost.
Quick run-down here...
Treasures:
1. The Faith Adjacent Podcast on Purity Culture that our dear Erin hosted. I was yelling "that'll preach!" while scrubbing bathroom toilets today. So good. So many great thoughts to ruminate on. I read "Pure" earlier this year and it really got me thinking of how that whole culture really effed us up. Wanting to do better with my boys.
2. The Needtobreathe album (Out of Body) that was recommended here a few weeks ago is a DELIGHT! Every song is truly wonderful.
Are we still doing turds? If so...
My major one is my youngest son and his (lack of) speech. He is over 2.5 now, and speech is still preeeeetty unclear. He jabbers constantly, but I understand about 5% of it. We have had his hearing checked (fine), evaluated for a cognitive delay (twice! passed everything with flying colors!), he's in school with other kids, we read to him, let him engage in free play, he was breastfed until 2 (really reaching here... lol)... I'm outta ideas, y'all. I have people saying "oh, just give it time! he'll develop" and others like "this is a concern..." but no other ideas. He is a bright, fun, happy baby... just, not speaking. I won't lie that I've convinced myself of some of the worst possible reasons (a brain tumor, how about those times he fell as a baby?, some crazy unknown thing we don't even know yet!) Anyway - positive thoughts that we can figure out a path to take are appreciated!
Special education teacher here who works really closely with her Speech Language Pathologist. I saw you said you had him evaluated for a cognitive delay, did that include an evaluation with a speech language pathologist specifically? There’s a couple of reasons I can think of, but I would need more information before making suggestions. If you’d like, feel free to email me willoughbybe@gmail.com - I’m happy to help in anyway I can!
I'm not usually one to post here but today has been a long day of reflecting so what's one more opportunity.
Treasures
* This week was entirely off of grad school and I spent most of hanging out with my niece and my sister, reading People magazines that have been stacking up over the six week course, cleaning my room and taking long walks.
*My nephew turned 14 last week. He started having auntie sleepovers with my sister and me probably 8 years ago. We had one last night. He's a teenager and he still wants to hang out with us. We order pizza and show him a movie we watched when we were his age. We watched the seminal '93 favorite, 3 Ninjas. Please comment if you remember this gem. I love that kid to his core and love auntie sleepover. His five year old sister has her own version of auntie sleepover now too.
*My rotating Sunday off of church is this weekend and I am going to go back to my home church. I've been interning at my (I don't know what to call it now, they both feel like home) for almost a year and have only been back to my home church twice. I can't wait to meet in person with my other church family.
*Also my friends that I usually go to the county fair are going to recreate the fair, deep fried oreos and all, this Sunday. Send me all your fair food at home recipes.
*I think I shared a Brett Elderedge video last time but he covers a Billie Eilish song, it's lovely, he's lovely, that is all.
* I dropped my laptop for the last time and it finally shattered the screen, not too much because I am currently using that laptop right now to write this but enough to know that tiny shards of glass are constantly leaching into my mother board and I live on borrowed time. Thankfully, my budget allows for a replacement that is coming on Monday. I had never realized that the adult decision making of purchasing a computer is paralleled by purchasing a vehicle or a home. I don't know what kind of RAM I need, I don't what an internal processor does...well now I do. Another silver lining to the turd is that I had a whole week off of school to take care of it.
"shards of glass are constantly leaching into my mother board" made me laugh out loud! Way to go on the adult purchase, and auntie sleepover sounds so fun!!
It's been a ...week. Also month. My chronic health (both physical and mental) symptoms have kicked it up a notch and I haven't sorted out answers yet. Going for a follow up with my GP on Monday. I'm not super expectant, but I'll take what I can get at this point. I've been extra emotional dealing with my grandfather's declining health, a fight with my little sister, and RBG's passing but I'm trying to treat myself with the gentleness I would offer to friends.
A few treasures from my week:
- My sweet co-worker/bff gifted me a new mug with a Nightmare Before Chirstmas design. Two of my favorite things are halloween and coffee.
-I made Kendra's magical pancakes for the first time for dinner last night (with chocolate chips) and it's weirdly the one meal that didn't immediately trigger IBS symptoms. I have to figure out how to replace all my go to meals with gluten free, dairy free versions so this is the first recipe I'll try to do that with. (I am not excited about the increase in my already impossibly tight grocery budget).
-I have finally collected and submitted all requirements for my grad school application (Masters in Library Science) and now I just cross my fingers and wait.
-We agreed to keep my sister's cat while she temporarily lived with a friend and it has drastically improved my daily life to have a pet in the house. I'm currently trying to convince how fun it would be to have a kitten also. (100% will name it Arron Purr, Sir and probably just call it Sir and will giggle every time).
that's all for now - I am eternally grateful that it's Friday and for this community.
I'm not sure what all of your dietary restrictions may be, but "Whole Food for 7" makes GF/DF meals for her family of 7 on a budget and has some of my favorite, easy recipes with normal ingredients! She's on IG and also has a blog if you search.
*Last weekend, my husband and I went to Lake Michigan with the family I nanny for and it was a DELIGHT. It was freezing but don’t you worry... I had all the cardigans and pashminas to look like a middle aged widow from every Nicholas Sparks book/movie ever! 😉 A rustic cottage with only the basics, great food and wine, and a private beach so we didn’t have to wear our masks for a little while. It was incredibly refreshing.
*This was a few weeks ago but I’m obsessed with this talking cat 😹 When he hits the “no” button consistently, it is such a mood and I’m here for it.
*My Enneagram 2w3 heart got to save the day yesterday for a friend with 4 sick little kiddos at home. She told me she loved me and I cried in my van the whole way home. Ha. I miss my friends.. it’s hard to be the only friend, childless (not by choice), and have felt very alone and forgotten in this covid season. Clearly, I know that having kids of any age can be a dumpster fire in this season is so impossibly hard.. I don’t want to diminish that. I’m just so thankful I got to see her even for a brief moment and help her out. I felt seen and loved for the first time since March.
Half turd/half treasure:
* I blew a tire on my van today right before I turned into my nanny kiddo’s preschool. But, my sweet husband came to fix the tire and my nanny dad left work and brought Chick-Fil-A for all of us! Another lady got a flat a few minutes later after me and she called AAA (while we both were waiting) and said she knew 0 men to call and that broke my heart. It made me be even more thankful in the moment and we offered to help but AAA arrived before my husband was done with my tire. I realized my privilege as well.
Ugh...car stuff is the WORST. I literally just paid off my car last Friday and the NEXT DAY I hit a construction moat in my neighborhood that ripped the bottom part of my front fender in half and also dislodged this plastic housing near my tire. My husband duct taped it and called it good...but SERIOUSLY. I'm so sorry you had car trouble, but I'm so glad you had a rescuer! :)
Also, cannot WAIT to start Erin’s 10 day devotional and I adored Faith Adjacent this week. Former TLW graduate here 🙋🏼♀️ and I wore a pale blue dress to my “commitment to purity” ceremony because I had done things with my high school bf and thought I didn’t deserve to wear white anymore 🤣 Also, my incredibly wise parents wouldn’t go to the True Love Waits Ceremony because they thought it was reallll weird! Haha. And they were right all along. Dang it 😉
Oh yes.. we walked down the aisle of the church as a symbolic gesture of being pure until our wedding day when we actually walk down the aisle! 😆🙈 Letters and pledges to our future spouses were also written, signed by our pastor, and then given back to us in a sealed envelope. Lol
My week’s turd-tone was set on Monday when a friend asked me why I wasn’t engaging much with church. And I cried, because there’s many reasons I’m not engaging - from grief about losing my job in ministry late last year (yay budget issues...), and missing the team, and missing the diverse lil family my old church was, to the big church energy of this new one that leaves me feeling disconnected and like I don’t fit into the system because I’m 31 and don’t have a baby so they can’t put me in the young adults group but also not in the mums group. So. She asked this in the middle of a walk by the harbour and I cried for the remaining 3km, all the way around a lighthouse, past the people on rollerblades, and avoided eye contact with the puppies that went by because they didn’t need to see my sadness.
- I’m late to this party but I needed a friend to chat through church sads with and Sarah Bessey became that when I started Jesus Feminist yesterday. You think she’d drink tea with me?
I'm so sorry you had a turd-toned week! I hope and pray this week will be lighter and that you can find connection in this church or somewhere else. Feeling like you don't fit in in church really stinks!
(Also, why did you have to make me crave a cheese boat? 😂)
I'm so sorry you're feeling so sad. I have been sad about some church stuff lately, too, and I totally empathize about the "where do I fit in" energy. I only recently got married at 37, so I've been in that place and know how much it sucks. Connection is everything, especially with a church group, and it's so, so hard when you aren't feeling that. Something that has helped me (despite how trite it might sound) is remembering that God sent Jesus to be "God with us"...and He keeps that promise. You aren't alone!
I’ve been hanging tight to that grace and trusting that he’s got me even when I’ve got nothing left in the tank.
But this week the grief hit hard and I cried so very much and I mean, it’s just been a week of blah, and I’m wishing I had church people nearby who would care if I didn’t show up.
A combination of the following has kept me from most internet things this week: an almost-1-year-old who is fighting naps RULL HARD, a 3-year-old who is waking up hungry in the middle of the night more often than not, an increasing client load at work (a blessing, but also feeling the burden of their pain and heartaches), and then you know, the world??? Sigh.
Love to you all. Happy Fall. Also, can I just say the Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew is VERY MUCH SO better than the PSL? Is this a spicy take? Anyway, it's my fave Starbucks drink ever, and if you haven't had it yet, go forth ye Swipes & try it this weekend. ❤️🍁
This has nothing to do with helping you with your children, but I totally loved your "RULL HARD" since I also say that phrase with the same intonation on a regular basis. Made me smile.
I have a tip for keeping you toddler asleep but its a bit of a hot take. Melatonin for kids. Heres what I've done. I start at the top dose allowed for their age, giving them that dose for two-three days. Once I'm convinced they are sleeping through the night well, I slowly back the amount down until we reach no melatonin. Whenever theres been a disruption of their typical sleep pattern that needs reset thats what has helped reset it. Of course do your own research and following your own mom instinct.
Oh my gosh, I didn't even think about it being a disruption in his sleep pattern! That's so helpful to consider. I think I might actually have some kid's melatonin on hand, too. Thank you, Erin!!
(But srsly if anyone has advice for helping my 3.5-year-old sleep through the night again, I'm all ears. We do snacks before bed every night, and yet...)
Yes I have heard a boring bedtime snack with fat + protein is key... Kids Eat in Color answered this question recently... maybe check her Insta! I can't remember what else she said.
Oh, nice!! I'll check out the post. We tried banana w/ peanut butter a few nights, but then (OF COURSE) he decided he didn't like that anymore. Sigh. His all-time favorite snack is applesauce, which is basically air. 😆🤦🏻♀️
Could you maybe leave a boring snack on the bedside table that they could eat if they wake up hungry and go right back to sleep? Something with protein that would stick longer?
Ruth Graham's tweet also applies to aunts. Yesterday my six-year-old niece kept asking me to come outside and watch her skate and draw. Later she turned into a demon spawn that I had to wrestle out of skates and clothes and into a leotard for gymnastics. After a 10 minute nap on the way to class, she returned to her sweet self and begged me to stay and watch. I got to see her do her first aerial on the floor and she ran over twice to hug me. Cue the tears and exploding heart.
I missed the comments last week, but I'm looking forward to digging into them with a glass of wine tonight!
Turns out starting a career in school social work remotely in the middle of a pandemic is a TAD stressful. I gave myself a 3-day-long migraine last week (hence, missing the Lil Swipes comments).
BUT I got my first paycheck today and I'm going to Whole Foods tonight because I'm a grown woman and I deserve boujee groceries. I'm getting the ingredients to make the roast chicken Flo Pugh made on her insta stories last week (iykyk). I'm SO excited for it. I'm going to do the chicken, roasted veggies, gravy, sweet spaghetti (family recipe, I grew up eating it), and homemade biscuits. Yes, it's for just me, and I will have leftovers FO DAYS, but I'm so excited to kick off sabbath with this feast.
My church small group met last weekend in person house church style and it warmed my heart in every way possible. For back story: I was a part of a network of house churches here in Chicago for the last 3ish years and they shut down towards the end of last year. My specific location shut down just before the world went up in flames, so I've spent all of quarantine church homeless. It's been rough, but I'm in a community group at this new-to-me church with a family who used to host one of the house churches in the network and they volunteered their home last weekend to do service house church style. I lead worship, we streamed the sermon, and then spent a good hour and a half fellowshipping afterwards. It was all socially distanced and v safe, but it was just SO nice to be with other believers in person again and the fact that we did it house church style made it all the better.
Also, I cut off all of my hair last night (okay, not ALL of my hair, but it's definitely quite the change) and I'm feeling like a new woman. I'm donating 13 inches to Children With Hair Loss and saving a BOAT LOAD of dollas on conditioner. After 6 years of living in Chicago, I FINALLY found a stylist I like and who knows what's up when cutting curly hair. I gave her alllllll of my dollars.
And that video mocking the Social Dilemma KILLED ME DEAD. It's too accurate.
I am in desperate need of a new stylist (moved back to my hometown where I didn't really have a person to begin with after three years in another state where I LOVED my hair guy and sometimes still drive back three hours for an appointment but cannot do that due to Covid and now need a new person and feel terrified to trial and error it). How did you find a new hair person? Please teach me your ways.
I honestly did a lot of googling. I have curly-ish hair and wanted someone who knew what the heck they were doing so I googled something basic like: "curly hairdresser chicago" and went to town. It's helpful to find someone who has their instagram listed in their bio on the salon's page so then you can go and see examples of their work.
FORREAL. I was sick of going to people that were basically like "all hair matters, I can work with all hair types" and then have them wet my head before cutting it. Like, sis. No.
Oof. I haven’t posted in a couple weeks because I have been unhealthy fiving. So this week, I leaned in hard on spending time with my kids and husband and all of that, posting on social media again etc. Then yesterday I got in an argument with an uncle who said to me “I guess your feelings matter more than FACTS,” and I had a breakdown. Look, I am a FIVE. I have ALL THE FEELINGS but you’d better believe I come for the facts. I struggle to remember that feelings aren’t unimportant and misleading but sometimes completely appropriate already.
Anyway, the treasure of this turd was that it led to a good conversation with my cousin (who assured me that aside from her dad, our extended family is avoiding political conversations like the...well, they’re avoiding them) and my mom. My mom and I have been growing apart over the past few years. She now lives overseas as an m word I can’t say on the internet and with me having to make myself adult without her as well as going through some deconstruction of my faith, we aren’t as close as we used to be. So being able to share those feelings of isolation and otherness with her despite our different views was a balm.
The other hard thing from yesterday was that my six year old daughter has gotten very curious about divorce. My husband and I have assured her that we love each other and aren’t divorcing, but this led to a lot of questions about my parents’ divorce (which happened when I was her age) and that was hard. I’ve dealt with most of those feelings about my dad, but it comes back up sometimes. I didn’t include the stuff I didn’t think she could handle—he was a high school teacher who left us for a student—but it’s still hard to try to explain in a way to a six year old that someone we love can do terrible, crappy things.
Anyway, this week has not been sunshine and roses, but I’m thankful for the probably false fall we are having in SC, as well as long-distance and internet friendships. They’re the things saving my life right now. Also thankful for cross stitch, which I’m learning to do. It keeps me from some of the scrolling and it’s cathartic to stab something repeatedly and come out with something pretty.
This was a weird week for me. It sounds like I’m in good company. Here’s my mix of turds and treasures.
(1) Depression and anxiety are hard. They don’t give any warning and they increase the heaviness of a thousandfold. I tell people that on my bad days, it’s like running through Jello. I had a couple days this week where I was pretty much useless. And then I feel bad about getting nothing done. It’s a bad cycle. Today feels better. One day at a time, I guess.
(2) On Fridays I do a FaceTime crossword puzzle with my mom. It’s delightful. We had a hard relationship for a really long time. Most of my life. It’s just been this year (largely because of the Enneagram) that I’ve been able to understand her in a way that makes me appreciate her and not feel angry all the time. My parents are in their 70s, so I figure I’m going to create as many good memories as I can to balance out the difficult years.
(3) I’ve been having a hard time with my church lately. I feel disconnected and “going” (online) doesn’t make me feel better. My husband did a really wonderful job of talking me through those feelings last night and while I still feel frustrated, it feels manageable. My husband isn’t a Christian, but he does an amazing job of meeting me where I’m at and helping me make sense of my faith and my feelings.
This feels like word vomit, but it’s time for the crossword. I appreciate that this community does the opposite of my church—makes me feel connected. Happy weekend, everyone!
Sending love. I'm a long time soldier in the battle against depression and anxiety has become a big issue this year as well. It is absolutely only one day at a time.
I'm glad you have found ways to connect with your mom, a weekly crossword sounds delightful. Also happy your husband has been helpful and supportive, makes such a difference. I hope you have fewer jello days next week.
You did some preaching in the Faith Adjacent, and I like it!
I was reflecting on the purity culture movement and the thought struck me, it wasn't just in our sexuality, but we were expected to remain pure in many ways. Dont listen to that music or PUT ANYTHING INTO OUR MINDS THAT ISNT EDIFYING side hugs only, Harry Potter is out, but LOTR is fine because he was a christian EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS MAGIC AND WIZARDS IN BOTH (my theory: wizards were ok in LOTR bc misogyny, witches are clearly not ok because they are evil. and female.) gah! It was intense. so many rules.
Sorry, obviously that brought out lots of feelings! :)
We are still in the US and waiting to get back to France. Some days this week were harder to hold out hope. Also its been intense around here. Im living in Louisville at the moment, and lots of people have opinions and lots are grieving. It's heartbreaking. Thankfully the churches that I have heard from are trying to listen. So that is good.
My treasures:
This week in our family bible study, we were evaluating the character trait of patience. The tagline: We choose to be patient even when we feel like getting our own way. This speaks to me right now, and honestly my inner toddler wants to throw hissy fits and demand my way. If my kids can do it, I can too.
Blackberry sparkling water/sodas... who knew blackberries were so sweet?!?
VO5 conditioner... is this allowed? Something from my past that is delighting me now? well, it reminds me of the smell of my mother from when I was a child, and I find it oddly comforting, like a middle aged woman smell blanket. Also, its conditions my hair really well. I used to have flat hair but aging has changed things, including the texture of my hair?!? so I've been experimenting.
and lastly... embracing that PSL life!!! Give me all the fall, all the colors, the cool temps (sorry Deep South folks!), and cozy blankets. I need some cozy overdosy therapy right now.
You are doing your own preaching here---I just recently told my husband about the whole "keeping your thoughts pure" factor of not having sex before marriage and/or not reading Harry Potter (that made me laugh...) and he (as not a person of faith) was flabbergasted about it all. But man...when that message gets in there---that you are BAD if you even think a hint of a thing about sex---it's really hard to root out. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts here.
VO5 is the conditioner of my youth! Interestingly, as I have waded into the Curly Girl Method of embracing natural hair texture, I believe there are some VO5 conditioners that are recommended as a gateway product haha!
If you’re getting on board the blackberry drink train, I highly recommend getting a bottle of Monin Blackberry syrup. I add it to plain sparkling water with some lemon or lime juice and it’s so refreshing and I feel better about being able to control how much sugar I’m drinking. I found it originally because it’s what Chili’s uses in their blackberry tea. You can put it in tea or cocktails or really whatever strikes your fancy. It’s been a game-changer for me
The coffee shop I worked at for a while had a Monin blackberry syrup drink that was delish: 8ish oz iced coffee, 1 oz Monin blackberry, 1 oz chocolate sauce (like Hershey's syrup), 1 scoop vanilla ice cream. Put it in a blender with a cup of ice.
I’m also listening to Sufjan’s new album today (he is one of my top 10 fave musicians)
Also, Erin, I showed my mom Hamilton for the first time this week. She clapped after every song and at the end she goes, “wow! That was amazing! But I did not know there was so much rapping in it.” 😂😂🙄
How's about that Harry Styles gif at the end... Bless us all. If you listened to this week's Popcast episode... you know I am conflicted by a simultaneous love of Harry Styles and a fear of literally everything else. So this 1950s psychological thriller is really throwing me for a loop. My current plan is to read the entire script of the movie before going to see it. So that there are no surprises. Also- I may actually take the advice and watch Get Out. But yall... I'm scared. A common quote in my house is "three spooky five me" because it's like "two spooky for me" taken up one notch. Get Out sounds three spooky. It's really causing some inner turmoil.
Ok, three spooky is hilarious! Also I haven't listened to this week's Popcast, but honestly Get Out is not that spooky! I don't like horror movies, and Get Out was just suspenseful. Now, I also tried to watch Us and THAT was too much for me. THREE SPOOKY!
As a girl who used to take my discman (RIP) and a book to every sleepover, I feel your pain, Adrienne. I always say I can’t handle the suggestion of scary. I hope you figure it out!
😮 I never found E.T. scary (even at age 12) until the grownups came to control the situation. Then I was angry and sad. He’s so adorable in personality that it was not the least scary to me.
I have finally come around to the idea of hacking your crying. I’m more of a bury-it-deep-inside-until-it-dissolves kind of Feelings feeler, but I made the wonderful mistake of turning on Call the Midwife. It restarted in some seasons I’ve already seen, and I just planted myself in front of that TV and cried over all those babies, and Sister Evangeline, and Mary Cynthia, and Susan Mullucks all over again. And the next day was a little brighter. #latetothepartybutgladtobeherethanksforhavingme
And listen. I’m just so terrible at painting my nails. I must be the prime demographic for Olive & June though, because it seems my entire online life has been sponsored by their ads lately...and I’ve heard nothing but good reviews…but like, I’m just really bad at nails, you guys! I decided that I needed a treat/project last weekend that could be accomplished and bought the Poppy from Target to try it out.
Y’all. I meeeeeeaaaannnnnnn!
My nails are still painted! And it doesn’t look like I did it blindfolded! So now my phone is filled with screenshots of colors that I want to get and try out. If you need me, I’ll be Adding to Cart all the pretty colors I think I can pull off, and maybe a few that I would never have considered before, and crying about pretend babies, and sprinkling in GBBO as much as I can get away with this weekend!
Narrator: She learned the value of listening to her online friends that week. And she was better off because of it.
O & J have been courting my adverts for a long time now, and to date I have not succumbed. But then today I got an email for an O & J advent calendar with little bebe colors and tools and my clicker finger keeps hovering like the Holy Spirit over the waters wanting to buy that thing...
Didn't realize I needed Mr. Rogers to be my cheerleader this morning, but I definitely do!
So looking forward to going through the Comforting Words with this group! I've been pretty adverse to bible study type things for awhile, but this is a such a supportive, non-judgmental group.
Not sure if this is a treasure or turd, but this Hogwarts virtual school spoof was a little too close to home with my middle schooler's experience: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B18ss3dbRAI
I have been VERY anti-Bible study lately, but I made myself buy Comforting Words last night, knowing that I would regret it if I didn't. I'm honestly just excited to spend more time with my internet friends...and if I can get some sort of spiritual jump-start out of it, all the better!
Popping in as the...........I'll say it skeptic to spiritual return, my coming back to any thing Bible and Church has been a 2018-2020 event. When early in 2019 I discovered The Bible Binge and that was the catalyst for many things. It helped. I was a voice. A salve. And this.....space where I was all "this is what I remember liking about this study in my teens before (cue the horns) Purity Culture and choices in life shame" -- The Comforting Words last year were a balm to me when Erin debuted it initially. I loved it. And to know I can discuss these elements with this amazing group of people. I am here for it.
It's nice to hear this. I've just subscribed to Bible Binge and mostly just because it's more of Knox and Jamie and Erin. I am in the middle of deconstructing my faith and pulling out a lot of the bits I was taught growing up and I'm hoping this will be a nice balm to the deep wandering and feeling lost.
Yes. I can confess when I worked through The Comforting Words before, I actually cried journaling out feelings and listening to audio Erin provided. It was exactly what I needed. And we will be on the path with you, wandering together.
YES! The Bible Binge was the catalyst! I listened for fun and realized that Christians could be funny and serious, and in-the-world-but-not-of-it in a more tangible way than I was seeing in my life. It basically ruined church for me. And thank goodness for that! I'm so thankful for this ruining. It's the rebuilding that is so difficult. I am also all the way here for this amazing group of people.
Yes, yes, yes! "In the world but not of it" is such a perfect description. We got a new pastor about a year ago, and while I do believe he has the best of intentions, the feeling I get from every interaction with him/his wife is just like if something is blatantly Christian-produced content (books, movies, holidays, etc) - then it's not worthy. Erin's Faith Adjacent with Hamilton was the hug I needed that WE could find beauty and truth and holiness in SO many places.
See, this group is my mythical church community. This is what I'd want from Church, but instead....I've had.....not ideal church female community. So for me, I want the content, I want the learning, I want the fellowship of similar thought, the fantastic conversations and not the --- drama. The drama has taken me out so many times.
It's been a rough week dealing with our health care sharing "ministry" in order to try to get my sinus surgery covered. Every time I'm on the phone with them, they ask if they can pray for me, and every time I just want to say, "Nah, I'm good on the prayer...I'd rather you just pay my medical bills." Ugh. I'm not bitter. It's fine.
I knew I was in an unhealthy place emotionally when I started getting in arguments with strangers on social media (a very NOT enneagram 9 thing to do). I'm so thankful for a good friend who asked me hard questions about how much time I was spending on social media, reading the news, and engaging in other life-giving activities vs. intake of depressing news and hot takes on social media. I reestablished the screen time limits on my phone and decided to take Saturdays as a Sabbath from social media. Thankful for a friend who can see me spiraling and ask hard questions without judgment.
Good morning, all! I’m going to ignore all the turds going on in the world for the sake of this thread.
-This is half turd/half treasure, but my Oma went to the ER last weekend with crazy high BP (something like 240/160) and ended up having to stay a few days and get a pacemaker put in. Oma is really the only grandparent who has been a big part of my life since the others died in my early childhood, and I refuse to face the fact that she’s 85 and her health is declining, so this was not and easy thing for me to hear. I’m going to visit her this weekend as she’s recovering from surgery to help her out as much as she’ll let me (if people want to know where I get my quiet stubbornness and independence from, they need only look to my mom and Oma), and I’m bringing The Boy with me so she can meet him. I’m focusing on the positive that I get to see her and have her meet Michael, and I’m praying she lives many more years, gets to be at my wedding potentially in the near-ish future, and is in good health.
-I’m not a crazy fall person, but I am very much enjoying the cooler weather this week and feeling like I can go with either hot or iced coffee right now. This is just the fall tease, and the hotter weather will return next week for a week or two, but I’m enjoying it for now.
-Schitt’s Creek. I know I’m late to this train, but this show is a delight. All of the characters really annoyed me at first and I wasn’t sure I’d get into it, but after about half a season, I was hooked. Those costumes on the little children is perfection.
Alright, that’s all I’ve got. My Fridays are endlessly boring at work, so I really enjoy going through all the links in this thread to keep me occupied when needed!
I'm adding one more treasure to this list that I just listened to- today's episode of Armchair Expert. If you have 45 minutes, I highly recommend listening. I love this podcast for many reasons, but I always appreciate hearing the conversations surrounding sobriety because they're always so real and full of love and grace, and also because I work in addictions recovery and it gives me a window into an addict's thought process. Anyway, today's episode is so full of humility, honesty, grace, and hope from Dax Shepherd. Give it a listen.
I’m also an Arm Chairy and I’m always so impressed with how Dax approaches a variety of topics, but 7 Days...just Wow. It was such a sincere and brave podcast. As a friend of mine said ‘In our current world he's trying to be truthful - to the degree he can, when he can - even if it may be to the detriment of his career. It's impressive, considering that right now it often seems lying is the best path for success’
I felt like I was listening to my little brother in confession and I was so proud and astonished by Dax's honesty and bravery and his loved one's grace and humility. I've been an Arm Cherry since the beginning and I couldn't be a more proud fan today.
This is a helpful encouragement about Schitt's Creek. I am a solid Enneagram 4, so I don't like doing things that everyone else is doing, but geez LOUISE I could use a laugh right now, so I have been considering jumping on that train, too.
Will do! He recently told me he downloaded Duolingo when we first made things official to try and learn some Indonesian phrases for when he meets her, so I have a feeling it will go well.❤️ Things I know she will bring up: how long she's been praying for him for me, his prayer life/walk with the Lord, if he's ready for all the Indonesian food we have on holidays, and football.
Schitt's Creek is so much more than we deserve and I will never stop delighting in it. Also, sending hope and prayers for your family and your Oma. My papa is 85 and his health has been declining significantly in the last several months. He was put on oxygen last week and we're not sure how much longer he has. It will be the first time experiencing the death of a loved one and he was such a huge part of my life. I'm so glad you get to see her and she gets to meet your babe.
I'm so sorry your papa is so ill. I lost my grandma two years ago and it's still hard--she was the grandparent that played the biggest part of my life and who just loved me unconditionally. I just said a prayer for him and for you.
I have cried over eps of Schitt's Creek. The community of it. The utter acceptance of all that so many would turn away. Moira as a mom has oddly touched me in ways I NEVER would have expected going into S1, ep1. I'm so glad you are enjoying it now.
Hello Friends! So happy to see?/talk?/type? with y'all!
Erin Super Girl and the Schitt's Creek Kids were high on my treasure list this week. Excited to see both in the list!
Perhaps my biggest treasure this week is my husband. Without being asked he picked up more feminine products for favorite first born, gave them to her and told her "that he might not always have the answers, and may have to defer to your mom, but I am always here if you have questions or need anything. I will go to the store for whatever you need and any man that loves you should not have a problem getting you what you need" Y'ALL!!!! BonusDadWin As weird as it sounds I swear I fell more in love with him at that moment!
Good morning, internet friends!!! Long time no post. It has been A week, has it not? I’m going to focus on the good things this week:
I’m legit obsessed with The Home Edit and the new Get Organized series on Netflix. I’m pretty organized but they take it to a whole other level! Also, I really want to hang out with Clea and Joanna.
We watched the OG Karate Kid with my oldest son (10.5). Love it so much! We have not watched Cobra Kai yet but can’t wait!
Some of you may recall my house buying dilemma where my parents were gifting us money as a down payment but my husband wanted to use that for college for our boys. Well, thanks to a good long conversation with his mom, he and I are now both on the same page! Praise the Lord and pass the moving boxes!! Hopefully after the first of the year, we will have a new home and my kids can stop using my bedroom as their playroom! 😆
Hi, everyone! I'm usually just a reader and a "liker" in this space but today I decided to stretch outside my introvert bubble and jump into the Lil Swipe fray!
Treasures this week:
- The fireplace setting on Netflix that transforms my dimly-lit living room into a cozy fall respite (lighting all the candles and draping all hard surfaces with throw blankets helps the vibe as well).
- Tearing up while reading just the DESCRIPTION of Erin's The Comfortable Words. Gah. I'm so ready for this study.
- And lastly, I have finally joined the Game of Thrones band wagon a gazillion years late so my final treasure is short-hair-scruffy-faced Jaime Lannister.
Thank you all for sharing your highs and lows and "aggressively meh" days. They are a comfort in the midst of *gestures vaguely* all this. Happy weekend, lil swipes!
You know how there's not an appropriate English word for "umami" in the food world? There's also not an appropriate English word for the specific joy when you find jeans that actually fit.
This is TRUTH. It’s like dating someone who is actually good for you - you had no idea how bad all the other jeans (partners) were until your legs (heart) found this pair (person)!
This week. Oof. From RBG to Breonna. From admissions about transfer of power after elections, to.....its a lot. It'ssssss a LOTTTTTT. I had a couple power cries. It's helped. But I wish I had more sporadic cries from something funny and absurd over rage and dismay. But now I'm posting here where good things exist.
That all being said.
Here we go with my handy and oft-updated list I kept all week.
1. People showing their good sides and making my cry for the overall hope of humanity: This is post RBG's passing. I saw so many of you posting powerful content on the Gram. I actually wept because its comforting to see who's feeling the same way I am from all over the country, world, background. It really brought me comfort because right now, feeling like an outlier for just doing what seems to be the most common sense of actions, for aligning with people who seem to genuinely want better things not just for me, but for SO MANY. Oh, I needed to see that community. I need to keep seeing it right now.
2. 4 Albino Squirrels : Okay this was actually something that happened last week but I totally spaced on mentioning it but going back to this moment brought me much joy. Danielle (fellow swiper!!) joined me on this journey of the 4 albino squirrels I saw on one outing. It was a delight.
4. Having a night out with my bestie Stacey --- Stacey is my OG-est of the OG people who know me. Note for the audio, she's actually --- wait for it -- my exstepcousin. My mom was married to her uncle and so my halfsiblings are her legit blood cousins. I have known Stace since I was 4 and we have maintained a grounded amazing relationship for now nearly 40 YEARS. Yes I have been married for nearly 20 years. But Stacey is 1000% my person. She calls me out. She lifts me up. We talk in some way, shape or form every single day and when we don't-- it's noticed. We get together at least once a month and everytime it happens, I leave fueled and more myself. Also we gorged ourselves on tamales and elote, paired with amazing hard cider. SUCH a win.
6. Finished knitting a pair of socks. I just love when I make myself socks.
7. So happy for the Comfortable Words returning!
8. I have discovered my fall 2020 quick purchase is buying more guided journals/devotionals. I have bought ....3 in the past month? So once I am done with 100 Days of Brave I will start Take Back Your Life https://www.takebackbook.com/ and then I will do The Between Places
Your socks were so cute! I was going to comment on Insta but I think I forgot? I'm currently psyching myself up to knitting a pair of socks for the first time. And when I say currently, I mean I've been doing it for 4-5 years now. 🤷♀️
Hooray for wearing lipstick again and for a great night out with your BFF! Love that!
HA! I think my second sock was on needles for.......a year? I know there are magical ways to make 2 socks at once, but I cannot do that method. Once I get past the heel flap and gusset decreases, I FLY. But its getting there lol. I know I could do a different heel variation to save myself time but I like the more tedious one.
Right??! My best can do the magic loop 2 socks at once thing. I indeed think there is spellcasting involved which brings the concept of "casting on" to mean something else HAHA
I had to take a class to make my first sock which is why I am very stuck to a certain style because that was what I learned to make and developed that muscle memory for it. But there are SO many helpful youtube videos for some of the elements. I think the scariest part of socks was initially tiny needles (multiple ones at that) and tiny yarn. But once you make one pair, you are so hooked. Maybe start making baby socks for someone you know? Or make a heavier weight slipper sock for yourself because then you can learn on larger needles with heavier yarn so its less scary.
Stacey! So wonderful. My closest friends are some I made in college and then lived with for most of my 20s/early 30s, but I do have one friend whom I have know since we were in preschool. We aren't as close as we used to be, but there is something so wonderful about someone knowing you for that long.
Mel, thank you for sharing your heart and your life <3 I am so happy for you to have a Stace! Those elementary school treasured friends stay in my life too. i would like to see said socks pls.
I love your ode to Stacey. The older I get (ok, I'm not that old, but it's true), the more I enjoy being with people that knew me when I was young. Before the world got to me.
So I sometimes get a little sad I lost touch with most of my early childhood friends (or high school for that matter) mostly because I moved far away for college and never went back (it was probably a jerk thing to not keep up contact, but I was young and foolish). I see them on Facebook though and we are friendly. BUT I made some great friends in college. Some of them are like family. Our kids call each other cousins and my friends their aunts and uncles. As often as possible (we and few other friends live overseas) we get together for camping and straight up silliness. Its so wonderful to be with people who know our straight up terrible sides, our stupidest mistakes, our worst qualities and love us because of it. Yes we still have great relationships with our family and they fill that need to, but something about those peers that is really needed.
I have college friends TOTALLY like that. Mainly my sorority sisters have that vibe with me as truly being family. I GET it. The chosen family is so key and needed.
She is truly my touchstone. With my mom gone - I feel for a lot of my life she carries my history and I carry hers and its such a blessing to have her.
Right? But it's true. Seeing as my parents are divorced, people who have technically "known me" longer haven't really BEEN there like she has. She has basically lived in a 15 mile radius to me for 25+ years. SHE KNOWS where the bodies are buried. We had times of distance here and there in parts of our 20s (I was in college, she got married and had kids) but we always picked back up, we never cut the tie, we just picked the rope up. But having her in my life all this time with no chance of it stopping. Means so much.
It is! And the food truck they had there. They made this chips from Taro root and it had these greens on them that she and I GEEKED out over. We also had a gentleman (why hello there lol) comment that he felt bad eavesdropping on our conversation at one point when there but he was so entertained he couldn't stop listening.
We were geeking out about jam and bread. I'm not kidding. And we were then taking said jam flavors and ranking them like "apocalypse boyfriends" -- who will make the babies for the future? Sorry Pear jam, you are NOT the father! LOL
YES Apparently Levenger is still around, but I remember not getting their emails because they send SO DANG MANY *haha* I fell in love with fountain pens in my 20s. I even have a pen box :)
See, Stacey and I are both knitters, but she's a leftie! So I can't learn from her but she is an INSANELY talented knitter. Whereas I am the practical knitter. I knit basics and she knits amazing elements with cables and extra lace.
Stace and I took multiple knitting classes together. She's always been the mathlete to my poet, the engineer to my painter....so her GETTING the extra skills from the jump is SO why I love her. Her talent blows my mind.
She and I are also in a yarn of the month club together.
Gah. What a week. I listened to Beth Silvers' Nightly Nuance about being tired and overburdened, and it resonated with me so much. I sent it to my husband and my bff, telling them how much it impacted me. My husband was great - he wanted to hear from me rather than some random (to him) lady on the internet, and he was thoughtful and engaged. My friend, however, threw me for a loop. "I hate politics, I hate being categorized, why can't people just do what God calls them to each day and stop being so judgy", etc. It was a gut punch, tbh. I cried a lot. All the overwhelming things jumped on board, and while some sleep and laying off the martinis has helped, it's all still weighing really heavily on me. I haven't seen her since December, and I'm going out to visit her TOMORROW, so the timing is stressful too. And! We're both PMSing. Which, I would like to point out, amplifies my emotions, but doesn't explain them away. Also, I'm an Enneagram 9.
My 10-year-old son has only turned in 10% of his literacy homework since school started, because "it's boring". And because it's challenging - he's used to achieving mastery over something on the first try, which isn't happening for him. He hasn't been attending the (online) class, either. I've got a phone call with his teacher today, and ongoing "We can do hard things" conversations with the kid.
Oh friend, I have lived through many similar moments this year with close friends and family. Fellow enneagram 9 who has cried all the tears. I hope your visit can be healing, and you can stay in the conversation even when it's tense or uncomfortable. That's been my big area of growth this year--just staying present rather than fleeing from conflict (most of the time). Sometimes I still just moonwalk my way out of any conversation that feels fraught.
Yes! I am trying to remember that it's okay to have conflict with people you love, that it's not the end of our friendship. But I will probably not be discussing politics with her much in the near future. I don't have the emotional capacity to handle it gracefully right now.
I really hope the time with your friend allows for good conversation about this hard thing. I'm so sorry. I really feel for you (fellow 9 here). Also on your 10 yo. I predict some of that will pop up eventually with my 5 yo. He does NOT like it if he isn't good at something right away, and gives up almost immediately. (See: epic waterworks when he accidentally transposed two letters of his name during writing practice).
Thanks. And I'm pretty sure I'm living your future. :) It's tricky to balance giving him grace and compassion (because you know he's beating himself up already), with setting expectations and discipline (because sometimes he has to just do something that's hard for him). And to think I thought parenting daughters was going to be my challenge...
I'm currently procrastinating, but that's the story of my life. Tonight I may get a little time with a friend, and I am alternately super excited and aggressively "meh" about it. This has been a hard friendship year for me (even pre-pandemic), and I feel like I've lost the ability to friend. Anyway... here is an IG account with some mesmerizing dance videos:
Also I randomly put on a John Mayer station on Amazon Music the other day and it was incredible. A trip back to college and music I haven't thought about in years.
I feel you hard on 2020 being a hard friendship year. Friend group blew the eff up about a year ago and there is still shrapnel everywhere. We are all still healing and then finding things that haven't even begun to heal. I have one person that I'm actively pouring into and who is pouring into me and that's all I can handle. Also, thank you for the gift of the phrase aggressively "meh" I will now be using it in all aspects of life.
Oof. I think having one well reciprocated friendship is worth a lot, especially after a friend group implosion. I pray for continued healing in that area. Also, it is my pleasure to provide a new phrase for you! 😄
I put on a John Mayer YouTube playlist while I cooked dinner and then got so distracted, trying to figure what the girl who was in the Your Body is a Wonderland video is up to now, I almost burned the coconut rice (she's a model now, looks great).
Erin, first off, thank you for this month's Faith Adjacent. It had me cracking up about musical toots on the way home from church, soberly nodding while making lunch, clapping and Amening in walmart, and shouting in my car. Its encouraged me to dig deeper on some uncomfy things and thats good and growth. I've had Devi and Jess's podcast in my ears for the rest of the week (and will be hitting play again as soon as I'm done here.) Though I never was handed The Bride Wore White, or signed a pledge card, or actually even had to endure youth group sex talks (cause parents pulled me out) the culture was so pervasive in what it was saying implicitly that up untill 7 months ago I was scared to hug a boy (middle school admonitions from parents ringing in my ears) So that now that I'm almost 30 and in a serious relationship for the first time ever I'm just like "whats a healthy, God-honoring way to BE here?" anywhoo. Thank you.
Treasuresssssss
- The Boy's best friend from college is in town this week and I get to meet him tonight!!! (I'm under strict instructions not to fall in love with him, oh brother....)
- My sister and I had a celebrate fall night last sunday and made Apple Mimosas with honey and cinnamon sugar rimmed glasses and Apple Fritter Cake and just let me say that was the most NEEDED girls night.
-If I could just snap shot all the moments that made my heart warm or fluttery or just fiercely protective of my James this week, I would... but also those are *MINE* yall I love this boy.
I don't feel like its out of turn to ask for prayer here, but I have some career transitions possibly on the horizon that would be really big for me that I would appreciate your prayers over. And over all the boy things. There's a lot in front of me that is so so good. and Im so so thankful. I just want to be sure I'm following God's leading and not just what I want for myself. ya know?
THANK YOU. and YES. half and half regular apple cider (not hard!) and champagne. rimmed glass in honey, then cinnamon sugar. drink and then be an OH SO classy lady and lick the sugar off the rim!
I've been a voyeur and not commenter the last few weeks (as far as my own treasures).
If I'm honest with myself, reading your stories/treasures/etc. has been a nice escape from my own reality.
Treasures:
1. Last Friday night I went to a friend's 40'th gathering. There were five of us ladies at a brewery with a park right beside it. We grabbed a picnic table, drank beer and connected for three hours on a beautiful fall evening. It was everything my soul needed.
2. I'm on the worship team on my church and while we are still recording our services and doing internet church, we are to a point where the band is getting together to pre-record all together (read: 5-6 people). Making music with my friends is a highlight of my month and I'm so grateful.
3. This thread really is a delight of my week. True story.
I don't really have any internet treasures to share. If I'm honest, I've tried to be offline more this week, b/c the week has felt heavy. I'm someone who prefers peace between my people, and I'm feeling the weight of the massive divide in our country right now. I'm hearing words like "civil war" and starting to have a massive dread of election day. I see people I love using the word pandemic in quotes, and others I love who won't let me touch them if they have gone to the dentist that day. The vast disparities and our in(ability? efficiency?) to discuss and work together for solutions feels like its ripping us apart. And I don't say lightly in regard to the ease with which workable compromises and solutions can be forged.
It's just...a lot. And at the end of the day, isn't what we all want for someone to like us just the way we are? Thank you, Fred Rogers. Thank you, Dana's Upper School Head. Thank you, Erin.
See? This is why I don't post much these days. All the deep thoughts and none of the laughs. *shrugs shoulders* Oh well. Here we are.
In other news, I want Lizzo's confidence. I've got the body, but not the confidence. Get. It. Girl!
This is totally beside the serious points but let’s chat about Lizzo, yes?
I think she’s gotten to where she is because she practices confidence and acceptance. She works haaaaard to love her body and I’m on the track myself and somedays I loathe my stretch marks and think I need to be covered up, other days I delight in every dang inch of the thing.
See I’m okay with stretch marks, my saggy mamma boobs but I’ve for sure gained weight this year. I don’t know how much because I do not own a square of shame aka a scale. But I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I just want to be wherever and what ever weight I feel my best. I just don’t know how to get there. 🤎
Yes. I don't even think I've gained *that* much but my clothes are uncomfortable and I feel bad. This comment really resonates. I know I should exercize more but the mental heaviness I feel like I'm always carrying with me makes it so hard.
Danielle, I am so happy you got those treasures this week. They sound absolutely wonderful and I'm glad you got to make music and connect with your friends! 🤗
If you figure out where one can get Lizzo's confidence, please let me know! Are there online classes? I'd pay for that.
It is so hard to find the treasures these days. I often vascillate between "meh" and absolute panic. It's a real fun ride, but at least we're all on it together? ❤️
I love the deep thoughts too!! so glad there have been some lovely offline treasures (arguably the more important category), and just start working on that confidence! God made you as you are, and He loves you as you are.
The feelings of that heavy.....YES that was me. And I picked a fight with the hussssband about how no matter who wins the election his middle-aged straight white maleness is gonna be okay.....yes it was a petty argument to have but I was having Mel-Splain to him that while yes he has 'worked' for all he has, he has never had to worry about rights and offerings not just being there. Like does his employer sanction options for birth control for him if they pick a certain health care package? Like when he has made large financial purchases no one has been like "so we can add your wife to this" (because when I bought a car in the 2000s I was asked to add my husband to the title and for financing and I lost my shisssssss on the salesperson, then he ran my credit (2x apparently) and came back to apologize as he didn't realize my INDEPENDENT score was so high. I explained that IN his mother's lifetime she couldn't get a credit card without either his dad signing off or she had to her HER dad to vouch for her.
Sorry
I ranted
But again. Like so much is going on.
And that cloud of anxiety-- heavy with storms -- it's there. IT'S A LOT.
Well he made some comment about how some of the elements that RBG fought for don't really impact me or wont and I was all "until they are taken away if some powers that be were to get what they want!" -- and then it was OFF. I realized the Enneagram 8 needed to COME OUT and she did. And we did calm down after my initial firey burst. But I needed to get all that out. The fears I have as a women for women. The fears I have for my friends of color. The fears I have for my people in the LGBTQI+ community and of course my children. Yes I'm a mother of boys, but they need to speak up for anyone that wants their voice amplified too. We have to be willing to be quiet and listen and learn but then SCREAM for those who don't feel comfortable in that role. I'm here to tell you. If you need a surrogate screamer. I am that. I will step up. I will confront. I can be scared as all get out in that millisecond before and after. BUT I WILL STAND IN THE STREET AND HOWL for my people. So yeah I explained to my husband of nearly 20 years, who has known me half my life that his existence has never had to be quantified and fought for. He hasn't necessarily had to ask for power (whatever that level is) or a place at the table. And 2020 has been showing that so many still have to....and to lose the ally that was RBG. Oh it SHOOK me.
Same, friend. Same. I went through Instagram a couple days ago and muted about 75% of the people I follow. Now it's only low-stakes knitting and woodworking. I also deleted my Facebook, npr, and bbc apps. I cannot deal with all the conflict and calls to action.
I'm taking a LOT of people off my feed. Anyone I have muted for 30 days more than once. I don't need them as friends. SO I have found facebook not as painful. But I have been off Twitter as that was the place that took too much work to curate. And my IG is so so safe.
This year I’ve been using FB for very limited (targeted) purposes: photos of my grandniece and grandnephew, a couple specific groups for Amazon blessings and journaling, and (most importantly) sharing all the online reading that directly contradicts and *targets* the pro-T*rump rhetoric of family members.
I don’t scroll the feed, and I only respond to dissents on my own posts. It’s actually very freeing to use drive-by spitefulness to interrupt their feeds. 😈 Since none are willing to have actual *conversations* about opposing views, I decided this drastic measure at least permeates their sad little bubbles.
Yes ladies!!! Facebook used to have a groups app and that was just what I needed, but then they got rid of it :( I know there is a "pages" app but not as helpful for my uses. Also muting/ unfollowing/ and starring certain friends helped!!!
Hugs to you, friend. Sometimes offline is a good thing. I'm so glad you get to make music with others right now. I was in the worship band at our church in NC and miss it so much sometimes it makes my heart ache.
You brought A WORD on faith adjacent this week! Thank you so much for that - it was healing. I have listened multiple times, and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it. All the blessings to you for how you handled that topic with grace, nuance, and truth.
- The Dear Evan Hansen sound track - specifically You will be Found.
- Every Mile Mattered by Nichole Nordeman - I rediscovered this album on Sunday and have been listening all week. I am forever amazed by her songwriting. "Dear Me" helped with the reckoning I felt in my faith and beliefs years ago, and it feels just as helpful and hopeful today.
- Checklists - that's it, that's the treasure. I was already a BIG fan of checklists, but they are saving my life (and sanity) in hybrid teaching.
- Trader Joe's sunflower butter cups - As a person with an allergy to peanuts and almonds who also happens to prefer Reese's over any other candy, these are a blessing.
Turds from this week:
- Parents have started protesting and demanding five days face to face, which I get. This hybrid thing is HARD and after this is over I would never like to do it again. However, I'm not ready to have that many kids in the building when I was provided 2 masks and a bottle of sanitizer as my only defense. We're supposedly fogging every night too. I know we're all doing the best we can, but I am starting to feel really neglected even though I am supposedly a "hero". All that to say, just pray for the teachers in your life, check in on them, and give them grace. We, as teachers, talk about doing that for our students, but it feels like we're hardly getting any in return.
Sorry, I feel like that got really glum for a second - it's just been rolling around in my head all week. Thank you all for being the kind of community where I knew I could bring feeling and drop it.
I've been listening to Evan Hansen recently too, even though I've never seen it. I really love Anybody Got a Map as a clueless mom and Waving Through a Window
I loved her years ago, but it's been reaching a new found depth after that album. You're Here reduced me to a puddle of tears Sunday evening. Thank you! I wish you did too :) haha!
1. Last week as my husband went out of town (see below), so naturally my car started acting up. Found out the AC motor was messed up. For $350 they diagnosed the problem to be....A DEAD RAT IN THE AC MOTOR. Y'all. I was NOT OKAY. Well, they tried to clean and salvage the motor but it was still making noise so I had to take it back with my Father-in-Law who insisted they fix it without recharging labor because we were not aware they thought that noise was "okay"...at $700, I think I was aiding and abetting the most expensive rat this side of the Mississippi. Not what I'd choose to spend that money on, but the car is fixed and a rat-free zone (I hope he had no friends), so I'll take it!
2. My husband is in the mountains of Colorado for 13 days without cell phone reception leaving me alone with a 3yo that decided to stop sleeping at night! I can't wait until he returns to learn that he is on overnight duty! (Who wants to bet the 3yo starts sleeping when that happens?)
3. (cue BIG NERVOUS energy) The IUI worked! I haven't told many souls because of my history of miscarriage, so I'm currently a giant bag of nausea and nervous energy. Thoughts and prayers for peace and a healthy babe are SO SO encouraged. Congrats to you all, you know before most of my family and friends! LOL (I did get to tell my husband through a quick spotty facetime call, so at least the father now knows!)
Other than that (HA!), nothing much is going on...except I feel like I am on the verge of an impending mom meltdown...which is why a small girls weekend in Branson today is my personal salvation. I'm just hoping to eat, read, and take lots of naps. :)
TikTok Treasures for the last few weeks (they've either made me laugh or cry uncontrollably--there is no in between anymore.)
EDIT: As I was writing this in the office at my computer I heard a wet noise...like water hitting the concrete floor. What did I find in my living room? My potty-trained 3 year old urinating in the house like an animal. RIGHT NEXT TO THE BATHROOM. When asked why he did that, he did a great job diverting my attention:
Peeing Person: "Autumn did it once."
Mad Mama: "but she is a dog and you are not!"
Peeing Person: "Nope, I a little boy who pees in the house."
Mad Mama: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.
T-Minus 5 hours until girl's weekend. Will I make it?
Ummm welllll my experience was we were not doing fertility treatments, so I didn’t have early blood tests, and I didn’t know it was twins until our anatomy scan 😆 it was our second pregnancy (besides our first miscarriage) and so I showed a bit earlier but chalked it up to a previously stretched belly. I had one ultrasound at 8 weeks and then not again until 20 weeks 😂 it was the most shocking and hilarious moment of my life!
Congratulations!!! Lots of prayers for peace and health!
And my nephew did that once when I woke him up for church. I told him to go potty, and he declined...only to pee in the kitchen 15 minutes later. When asked why he did that his response was, "You told me I needed to potty." Yeesh.
And omg, seeeee that's a #boymom moment (Jamie Golden, please read this) - my older son did a similar thing PEEING INTO A HOUSEPLANT because his 4 year old self didn't see how that was any different from when his dad let him pee on a tree when they were at a park where the bathrooms were locked.
Thank you so much, friend!!! If I get naps and don't have to care for another human (besides the one currently renting a spot in my body) I will call it a win!! ;)
CONGRATULATIONS!!! (Which, ironically tried to autocorrect to something involving rats 😂) So happy to be able to celebrate with you. Praying for a pregnancy that is full of much joy and peace.
Also- I’m laughing so hard at your conversation with your son 😂
Dan Levy in “The Great Canadian Bake-Off” is magical. We have two seasons befor the Americans find Schitt’s Creek and he is too famous. Fun fact, Schott’s Creek started on the Canadian version of PBS (it’s called CBC). It also gave you Heartland.
I'm currently watching Heartland! Came up on my suggested feed, which I usually ignore. However, I thought I remembered someone mentioning it on here so I tried a couple of episodes. It's just the teen angst catharsis I need. Lol
Hello friends, everything going on in the world has me feeling so weary and frankly scared about the future. This week, I feel like I’ve just been in survival mode and retreating into the basics of self-care to avoid complete overwhelm and shut-down. Here’s what’s been helping:
- Ben and Jerry’s Glampfire Trail Mix ice cream (I think it’s a Target exclusive)
Amen to all of this (although I haven't had Glampfire. I will be tracking this down.) My friend and fellow anxious person and I are rewatching Gilmore Girls, separate but together. Stars Hollow is so deliciously removed from everything that is happening right now.
I can relate to this on a cellular level. The weariness, borderline fear (which I then feel guilty for b/c I'm a faith person). It's not complicated here at all...
Thank you for the mac and cheese intel, because I'm convinced it is a gift straight from Jesus.
wow, dropping the food knowledge in here! Glampfire trail mix ice cream sounds AMAZING. and The Mindy Project is balm for any soul. if you still need some Mindy, recommend the Four Weddings and a Funeral miniseries.
Sigh. I feel like I come here and I’m a downer but honestly things are hard right now. It’s been a soul weary week not just with personal thing but with RGB’s death and the Breonna Taylor news.
I really just wanted to ask if you would pray for my Mom and Aunt Sharon and her family. My aunt was diagnosed with brain cancer last week and the prognosis is not good. She has been with her since two days after the diagnosis (she lives in South GA we live in the North) and my mom is not handling it well. When she is with her she is strong but when she goes back to her house for the night she is not handling it well and I’m not sure how things will be in the coming weeks as she deteriorates. They are extremely close. My mom also feels torn because my brother and I both have medical issues going on and she feels the need to be here too.
Our heart are heavy but we are clinging to hope.
I did send my 10 year old niece, Toccoa, some masks with a soccer ball on them from Etsy and she called to let me know they were the best mask ever and so soft and comfortable. So you know. I apparently am a good mask buyer. 🤷🏻♀️
Oh and hello duh best thing my partner and I celebrated 7 years of marriage Monday. His mom bought us take out from Texas Roadhouse which I had been wanting so much (I miss restaurants y’all!) and we just hung out and talked about all the amazing things we have done in 7 years. And we talked about our furbaby a lot. We think hers the cutest. 🤣
Erin you share gold with the gifs and cuteness. I must get back on the Shitts Creek train. We were watching it early in quarantine but the first season is a little tough. I’ve been told get through it and it really starts to hit its stride. It is funny as heck though.
I love forward to reading your treasures and all the beauty in your lives. 💜💜
I so relate to feeling like a downer. That’s definitely been me for a few weeks now. I will pray for your aunt. Sometimes things are just hard and it’s okay to say so. ❤️
Congratulations on being a good mask buyer! 😉 And even bigger congratulations on the anniversary!!!
I really relate to that feeling of being a downer, some weeks I don't post because I feel like everything is just too heavy. Especially when you're dealing with chronic health stuff that never really changes, it just continues to be a turd week after week. I have never ever thought that you were a downer though and I appreciate your honesty! One of the best things about this place is that we can share the bad as well as the good.
I'll be praying for you, your mom, your aunt and your whole family. ❤
Christy, I totally get feeling Debbie Downer in this space of joy. I never know what to post because it’s hard to recall the few moments of lightness while in the Fog of Doom. I know there’s light (and Light) but recalling it on demand is extremely challenging (and I’m failing at it).
I appreciate your honesty and hope you/we can remain in touch with the good things in the weeks while shoveling through the poop.
Dana, I appreciate the gratitude-splaining, actually. I never dove into the practice because, honestly, I know from Whom joy comes, and I’d never struggled with remembering my blessings. But THIS YEAR. 😖 This year (as with others) I’ve found myself buried in a stupor — which became so much MORE as I got truly interested in politics and following the news — and I’ve realized that I have unresolved/unexplored feelings from the past 4 years of mourning my dad and helping my mom. Only in the past month have I understood that I’m just not addressing it. I’m pushing through the muck without giving it much thought, and I’ve been fueling the numbness with dumpster fire stories. It’s not that I don’t have good in my life, but that I’m moving past it too quickly.
So... THANK YOU for the reminder. Thank you for the book link. I love journaling, but I’ve been unwilling to tap the emotional keg this year (fear of my Fourness taking over the analytical Five in me). Perhaps a daily list will help me process some of “all this.” [Trying to get a therapy referral, too, since I know it’s needed now.]
You’ve convinced me to start a list in Notes, and I’m going to try the gratitude listing again. So, your work here is done! 🙌🏻 (kidding. I’m waaaaay in progress)
I have so many “plans” to work on myself and ten other projects. I just have to DO them. These years have stolen all motivation. 😩
Ok, children dressed up as the Rose family is now my favorite. 😍
I've spent the week under a blanket watching Netflix. I'm so sick of being sick but at least Derry Girls and Queer Eye were great company. Thanks for your recs last week! I also loved getting to watch The Great British Bake Off again and Matt Lucas describing different types of cake is my kind of ASMR...
Gotta add my kudos (please read that in Sophie Hudson’s voice) on the faith adjacent this week. And the please advise. Both Podcasts were major highlights of my week. And that last video. Mr. Rogers. Made me cry. We had a good week but I am plagued with girl time cramps that are taking me down for some weird reason and that little push was all I needed to full on cry. So thank you. (#notsarcasticfont) 😘
Oh my goodness. I have been dealing with the same!! So glad to hear that may be ‘normal’. Dr swears I am too young but I know I am going through the change. Physical soon so I can talk more with her about this crazy stuff going on.
Erin! Comfortable Together is like your birthday gift to me for scheduling it in that timeframe. So excited to participate and connect over that. Bookmarking those articles, especially the habits ones, to really pore over. We’ve been talking about the Faith Adjacent on a few corners of the internet, and getting introduced to Devi was the comfort and truth I didn’t know I so desperately needed. Went to listen to Where Do We Go From Here eps on singleness, and they were a balm to my soul. Can’t wait to listen to the rest!
Big treasures this week include catching up with some friends on the phone, false Florida fall, and being friends with the person who started the “vote him out” chant that has gone viral from the President visiting the Capitol to pay respects. Take that as a symbol of bravery, speak up, it can galvanize so many.
This D.L. Mayfield piece was so helpful to me - https://religionnews.com/2020/09/23/how-a-sean-feucht-worship-service-convinced-me-i-am-no-longer-an-evangelical/ . I agree with so much of her stance and am sickened at the hypocrisy. My church is meeting after weeks of virtual church services, but masks are required, physical distancing outlined and requested, and live streaming of the service. I am really having a hard time reconciling people who want to have church without masks but are yelling about BLM protests.
For those who love High School Musical, rock, and seeing 30 Rock B cast in other projects, may I suggest Julie and the Phantoms on Netflix. It is Kenny Ortega with an unlimited budget, and BOY do I love it. It has rock stars, jazz club numbers, soulful piano, the works! The beginning of episode 4 is a classic “sing and dance the halls of school dream montage”. Enjoy!!
I also live for Demi Adejuyigbe’s September 21 videos, and this year’s was as wonderful as expected - https://youtu.be/_zzEDrYTkkg
Thank you, Jillian, for all of this! Especially the D.L. Mayfield article. I love Jesus more than anything but have also been struggling with the white evangelical church structure. I love the church and don’t want to tear it down but I want to listen to the marginalized, grieve with them, and no longer ignore the hard topics. I appreciate your candidness on the topic.
I was so embarrassed that Sean Fecht showed up here in Seattle and that D.L. Mayfield piece was also helpful. I've long gone to churches that are pretty progressive, but I don't think they jive with a lot of Christian communities and I'm tired of others thinking that my church is less holy/Christian.
Oh Jillian, I feel so known when you say " I am really having a hard time reconciling people who want to have church without masks but are yelling about BLM protests." Church just feels really dang hard right now. I am so thankful for this community that affirms the beliefs that have shifted and the reckoning I feel in me.
I can wait to watch your tik tok compilation - they've become a part of my Friday evening routine :)
Church does feel hard! i am grateful for my local community but some former church homes are really making me question the love your neighbor thing :| glad we can have these conversations. and i am SO glad! I'm thinking of compiling them so i can go back for a laugh when we need :)
That Trader Joe’s tok is truth. 🤣. How cool to be friends with the chant starter. Mad respect. It was amazing. I was think of watching Julie and the Phantoms this weekend. It looks so cute. I have that and Enola Holmes on my to watch this weekend list.
I went AND survived my Wassie’s funeral. It was heart breaking to see my Pappy ( we are a family full of weird nicknames) aka Uncle Allen so broken over the loss of his beloved. They had been together since their early teen years, married at 17 and 19, just celebrated their 54th anniversary. I’m genuinely concerned about what he will eat as I’ve never even seen him make toast. But his daughter I’m sure will take care of him. It was balm for my soul to see some family I hadn’t seen in such a long time. To be in there company and hug them, cry and laugh was jus so good.
Right before I left town we retired our 15 passenger van. It was my everyday ride and I had been driving some form of a 15 passenger van for the last 10 years. It was amazing but we are hauling less kids and I was able to downsize to a large suv. Y’all it’s so fancy! It answers the phone for me! I don’t want it to do that but I cannot figure out how to turn it off!!
We are feeling very desperate for a break and reset over here at Spatz mansion. We are trying to plan a trip during Halloween to the mountains. I love all the candy and fun of Halloween but it’s just so much. I’ve been know to give my kids a choice between costumes and trick or treating OR $20 each to spend in our local candy store. More often than not they pick candy store.
I started my new writing gig and my first two columns seemed to be hits so that was lovely.
If you are on the fence about doing the comfortable words, let me just say that I did the study last year pre- dumpster fire 2020 and it was such a lovely gift. Your heart, soul and mental health will benefit from this study. If money is a factor please DM me and I’ll do what I can to get you the study.
I'm so sorry about your loss. What a hard time to deal with one more loss on top of all the other losses of this year. :( I totally agree about how funerals can sometimes feel like a positive experience, though. It's like a weird family reunion. I'm glad you got some time with family.
Thank you, too, for the encouragement about the Comfortable Words. I am on the fence just because I am not sure I want to add something else to my plate, but I also am REALLY craving community and peace right now, and I think your words convinced me to join. Thank you.
My house has been all over the "lets just buy candy and EAT IT" my kids are totally cool with the lack of "halloween" especially since in MN it can be a real chilly night of walking outside.
I still remember trick-or-treating in the blizzard of 1991 because it was my last year of it and gosh darn it, I was going to wear my first awesome, store-bought pirate costume, dang it!
I need to try that Halloween hack. My daughter loves to dress up though (just in general), buy she also really, really likes candy. Congratulations on the new column!
I think I'd be afraid to go for a drive if my car answered the phone for me! 😉 I hope and pray your trip will give you rest and that much needed reset.
As someone whose parents didn’t let her celebrate Halloween you’d think I’d be more pumped but it’s so much dang work! I swear it’s cheaper to do the candy store too!
I try to post the link on my Instagram but I can link them here if you’d like.
Our car came to us with a name - my friend gave us their 1991 Honda Accord named Edith. We also sold her our old car, a 2004 Hyundai Elantra, which they names Neal. Now we're on board. We just got a new(to us) Odyssey and my husband sort of messed up the vanity license plate which was supposed to say CHALO (the Hindi word for "let's go!"), but it wound up saying CHALO NA ("Let's go, yeah?") but without the space. So now the van's name is Chalona.
If you don't name your car....I need to find out why not. So, wait for this truth bomb. I'm 43 and I've only owned --- TWO CARS --- one was my four-door Ford Escort that I got when I was 18 and drove it until I was in my late 20s named Homer. Then I got my Jeep Liberty (it was brand spanking new, like 13 miles on the odometer) and I'm still driving it! - she is just Libby. I am currently car shopping, but we are also house shopping so we'll see what comes next.
Our house is called Spatz Mansion. Its ironic since we work in non profit work so we'll never have a mansion! I feel pressure to name my new car now! How does one pick a vehicle name?
For me it was the fact Homer had automatic seatbelts ('Member them?) and like 8 out of 10 times I'd get smacked in the face, head, shoulder and I'd do the Homer Simpson "D'oh!" so voila it was Homer. I think you just have a moment with your car and it names itself. :)
Oh I’ve named all my cars! I had a keep Cherokee named Bessie, and mustang names Sally (I mean obviously), a Honda Pilot named Dottie, a blue Yukon named Cornelius (if you get this reference then we’re destined to be friends for life) and now I have a bee white Yukon named Pearl.
Happy Friday, everyone. My oldest told me on Monday afternoon, our co-op day "Mom, it feels like we went to co-op YESTERDAY," and the week continued to draaaaaag like that. But, there were some bright spots:
1. My eldest picked key lime pie for his family birthday celebration and my MIL made the best one I have ever tasted. Key Lime Pie is one of my favorites, and I will now be requesting this goodness from her for my family birthday celebrations forever and ever, amen.
2. I've been reading a lot this week, and one of the books I read, Rome of Fall by Chad Alan Gibbs, was super nostalgic and filled with 90s music references. This has caused me to fall down the Spotify playlist making rabbit hole, and remember some really good music I had forgotten about.
3. Also reading Kill the Spider by Carlos Whittaker and gah. I feel like someone finally understands my brain.
4. Faith Adjacent continues to be one of my favorite new additions to The Bible Binge, Erin. Thanks for creating such great content to listen to.
That's it for this week. Here's hoping your weekend is filled with more treasures than turds!
I love a good key lime pie and I haven't had one in ages! I love that he requested something other than cake - my little brother always requests pizza because he's a weirdo who doesn't like sweets.
Also, as a child of the 90's, I grew up listening to my 90's music and also my parents (lots of Third Eye Blind) and I have a playlist I cycle through regularly. So good.
I loved Rome of Fall! I keep wishing someone would make it in to a movie. Fun fact: I reached out to the author for an interview series I'm doing in my email newsletter, and he is really nice.
Ohh. I think I have that book. I love, love, love 90’s reference and also went down a 90’s music rabbit hole on Spotify this week. It is the best music decade. My humble opinion of course.
I love me some Loswhit. (In a platonic brotherly sisterly way of course!) His candor on his social media made want to read his books. Kill the Spider was so good and Enter Wild his newest is a great follow up.
I went to a socially distanced birthday party last week where the person whose birthday it was, myself, and my husband were the only ones who could jam along with the 90s alternative Pandora station. It was bliss. Kids these days don’t know what they are missing. Haha.
Key lime pie is also one of MY favorites and a local ice cream place does a killer Key Lime Pie ice cream in the summer, and I am bummed it is no longer available to me. Adding your books to my TBR!
First of all- I had no idea that the Great Canadian Baking Show existed, but is my google search correct? Are the first two seasons actually on Netflix?! If so, that’s jumping WAY up on my to-watch list.
Is anyone else watching Alone? My husband and I just finished season 2 and we are HOOKED. When we watch Survivor, my husband’s complaint is always that they don’t actually do much Surviving anymore, so the threat of starvation or animal attacks in Alone fills that need for him.
My biggest treasure this week is that we booked an evening away at a fancy inn for our 8th anniversary next month. Because our kids are young and only 7 months apart, our pool of babysitters is really small at this stage, and I am just abundantly thankful that my in-laws were so willing to let us get away for a weekend together.
Nap time update- I can’t find GCBS on Netflix 😫 I’m guessing there’s somewhere that it may live on YouTube, but I haven’t found it yet. Will keep you posted if I do!
Good Morning! Nothing terrible this week, but nothing super great. Just kind of coasting along. I am exhausted though. I feel like I finally hit the wall after being on edge since March. In February my grandmother got very sick. It was unexpected but not. She had a genetic condition that caused the muscles in her throat to stop working, so she could no longer swallow. She passed away March 3. I feel fortunate that we were able to go home for the funeral because if it had been one week later, we would not have gone. It has been one long fraught, stressful edge since then and now that things have slowed at work I've had time to go slower and the exhaustion has just crept in. Or, I just have 10 minutes to recognize it.
Grief is tricky and it can be like waves the gently lap at you until suddenly it over takes you add in all the other stressors and oof. I hope you find rest soon in all the ways. Your son is a cutie!
Your words about the house of memories....oof. So relatable. I hope the items you take give you all the feelings you need. The ones I kept from my mom were so random. Pyrex mixing bowls. 70s/80s jewelry she never seemed to wear but had in jewelry boxes. A couple dresses. I was on a search for one of her specific dresses but when she got diagnosed with ALS she gave away a bulk of her closet and it included one dress I always equated with her going out to dance and feel 'together' -- I wanted it so badly and would have tailored it to fit me. So I am on a personal quest to find a similar dress to it. I've even looked at a goodwill near her after she passed away hoping to find it again. No avail. So I am so glad you are getting this time to really inventory what you want to keep for your own feelings.
Wishing you strength and comfort as you work through the house details. ❤️ And thank you for the the TikTok links. Those recipe posts! Every. Single. Time. 😴
Oh Lily. I will be thinking of you. I hope it brings closure and helps you say goodbye. Just think of all the beautiful memories you had there and you are releasing it for another family to have the same thing. Your family legacy allowing another family to have their legacy. Sending hugs to you. And Happy Birthday! 🥳
From a former goth child who lived in hot topic, she will come out on the other side. Although I do still attend the church of Doc Martin and thick eyeliner.
Sometimes on Friday afternoons, I put a beer in a mug and virtually tutor high school children about the ACT. In fact, I might do this today. No shame. No judgment. Cheers to all.
Hooray for children who bake and lemon meringue pie and thank you for sharing the meditation. I may need to add that to my repertoire for both friends and foe. We are enjoying cooler temps here too (well cool for Texas). I fully anticipate at least one more bought of warm weather before Fall settles in for real...we like to refer to this as First Fake Fall.
May you too be happy, healthy and have peace in your heart, Dana. And I hope the party will be wonderful with lots of laughter. We already know the food is going to be great.
I am excited for you and your surprise birthday party; I hope it is a delight! Thank you for that meditation, I will be putting it into practice. Bless you for reporting covid protocol data with memes and gifs. I would love to be in one of those meetings :)
Apple pie is my favorite! What a nice surprise to come home to. Enjoy the birthday party! And I think you are spot on about holding loved ones close and building each other up.
Dana, thank you for working so hard for your school faculty. Hoping they just had a collective rough week (I know I did) but I am buffeted by the cheer to hang in there till I can take a break. The birthday party sounds lovely, as does the meditation practice!
Caste is on my list but I’m working my way thru The Warmth of Other Suns, which is also long but should also be required reading
I’m 50% through OTHER SUNS and I’ve had to return to the librar’s waiting list twice already. I’ve highlighted practically every chapter and let it marinate several days in between readings (hence, the slow progress). It’s not that I wasn’t aware of this history (lived in Texas my whole life), but that I haven’t put enough work into learning the stories. It’s just an excellent resource.
Dana, it sounds like such a lovely week overall. We have cooler temps as well, as cool as one can have for living at the beach. I drained the pink pool to put up for next year- it immediately got hotter. Rude. I will have practice that mediation. It sounds so good for ones soul.🤎
Me too. Well, not a mole, but the cold and dark. When weather drops to the 70s, I emerge from my air-conditioned igloo and do a Mary Tyler Moore turn with outstretched arms, then return to the house and open all the windows till winter arrives. In summer I have no energy and a grumpiness, but with the cool and the cold I come back to life until 6-8 weeks after the groundhog sees its shadow. It’s a very non-Texas life, for sure, but I’ve never left because of nieces and nephews and parents. Lately, with my mom’s declining health, I’ve realized I’m going to finally attempt relocation to New England when she’s no longer with us. It seems the perfect time and I want to live somewhere with *seasons*.
I know it’s pricey, but I’m loving the Olive and June Advent preorder. My daughter will ❤️ it!
https://oliveandjune.com/products/advent-calendar
This newsletter is seriously such a bright spot in my week. I signed up for The Comfortable Words the SECOND I read the email last night... very excited for this. We haven't been back to our church since pre-COVID (they started in-person services in May... side-eye), and I'll be honest, I've not kept up with all of the online things and was starting to fill a bit lost.
Quick run-down here...
Treasures:
1. The Faith Adjacent Podcast on Purity Culture that our dear Erin hosted. I was yelling "that'll preach!" while scrubbing bathroom toilets today. So good. So many great thoughts to ruminate on. I read "Pure" earlier this year and it really got me thinking of how that whole culture really effed us up. Wanting to do better with my boys.
2. The Needtobreathe album (Out of Body) that was recommended here a few weeks ago is a DELIGHT! Every song is truly wonderful.
Are we still doing turds? If so...
My major one is my youngest son and his (lack of) speech. He is over 2.5 now, and speech is still preeeeetty unclear. He jabbers constantly, but I understand about 5% of it. We have had his hearing checked (fine), evaluated for a cognitive delay (twice! passed everything with flying colors!), he's in school with other kids, we read to him, let him engage in free play, he was breastfed until 2 (really reaching here... lol)... I'm outta ideas, y'all. I have people saying "oh, just give it time! he'll develop" and others like "this is a concern..." but no other ideas. He is a bright, fun, happy baby... just, not speaking. I won't lie that I've convinced myself of some of the worst possible reasons (a brain tumor, how about those times he fell as a baby?, some crazy unknown thing we don't even know yet!) Anyway - positive thoughts that we can figure out a path to take are appreciated!
Special education teacher here who works really closely with her Speech Language Pathologist. I saw you said you had him evaluated for a cognitive delay, did that include an evaluation with a speech language pathologist specifically? There’s a couple of reasons I can think of, but I would need more information before making suggestions. If you’d like, feel free to email me willoughbybe@gmail.com - I’m happy to help in anyway I can!
Bethany - you are so kind! I'm emailing you now!
I'm not usually one to post here but today has been a long day of reflecting so what's one more opportunity.
Treasures
* This week was entirely off of grad school and I spent most of hanging out with my niece and my sister, reading People magazines that have been stacking up over the six week course, cleaning my room and taking long walks.
*My nephew turned 14 last week. He started having auntie sleepovers with my sister and me probably 8 years ago. We had one last night. He's a teenager and he still wants to hang out with us. We order pizza and show him a movie we watched when we were his age. We watched the seminal '93 favorite, 3 Ninjas. Please comment if you remember this gem. I love that kid to his core and love auntie sleepover. His five year old sister has her own version of auntie sleepover now too.
*My rotating Sunday off of church is this weekend and I am going to go back to my home church. I've been interning at my (I don't know what to call it now, they both feel like home) for almost a year and have only been back to my home church twice. I can't wait to meet in person with my other church family.
*Also my friends that I usually go to the county fair are going to recreate the fair, deep fried oreos and all, this Sunday. Send me all your fair food at home recipes.
*I think I shared a Brett Elderedge video last time but he covers a Billie Eilish song, it's lovely, he's lovely, that is all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TdWon0B-wM&ab_channel=BrettEldredge
Turds
* I dropped my laptop for the last time and it finally shattered the screen, not too much because I am currently using that laptop right now to write this but enough to know that tiny shards of glass are constantly leaching into my mother board and I live on borrowed time. Thankfully, my budget allows for a replacement that is coming on Monday. I had never realized that the adult decision making of purchasing a computer is paralleled by purchasing a vehicle or a home. I don't know what kind of RAM I need, I don't what an internal processor does...well now I do. Another silver lining to the turd is that I had a whole week off of school to take care of it.
"shards of glass are constantly leaching into my mother board" made me laugh out loud! Way to go on the adult purchase, and auntie sleepover sounds so fun!!
Hi, friends!
It's been a ...week. Also month. My chronic health (both physical and mental) symptoms have kicked it up a notch and I haven't sorted out answers yet. Going for a follow up with my GP on Monday. I'm not super expectant, but I'll take what I can get at this point. I've been extra emotional dealing with my grandfather's declining health, a fight with my little sister, and RBG's passing but I'm trying to treat myself with the gentleness I would offer to friends.
A few treasures from my week:
- My sweet co-worker/bff gifted me a new mug with a Nightmare Before Chirstmas design. Two of my favorite things are halloween and coffee.
-I made Kendra's magical pancakes for the first time for dinner last night (with chocolate chips) and it's weirdly the one meal that didn't immediately trigger IBS symptoms. I have to figure out how to replace all my go to meals with gluten free, dairy free versions so this is the first recipe I'll try to do that with. (I am not excited about the increase in my already impossibly tight grocery budget).
-I have finally collected and submitted all requirements for my grad school application (Masters in Library Science) and now I just cross my fingers and wait.
-We agreed to keep my sister's cat while she temporarily lived with a friend and it has drastically improved my daily life to have a pet in the house. I'm currently trying to convince how fun it would be to have a kitten also. (100% will name it Arron Purr, Sir and probably just call it Sir and will giggle every time).
that's all for now - I am eternally grateful that it's Friday and for this community.
xoxo
I'm not sure what all of your dietary restrictions may be, but "Whole Food for 7" makes GF/DF meals for her family of 7 on a budget and has some of my favorite, easy recipes with normal ingredients! She's on IG and also has a blog if you search.
Also, Aaron Purr, Sir is the best cat name EVER!
That cat name makes me want a cat.
Amazing.
I wish I could read this whoooole thread, but I really just need everyone to see this! https://people.com/human-interest/89-year-old-pizza-delivery-man-who-went-viral-on-tiktok-crowdfunded-12k-tip/
Hello sweet friends!
Once again, this group is balm for my soul!
A few treasures:
*Last weekend, my husband and I went to Lake Michigan with the family I nanny for and it was a DELIGHT. It was freezing but don’t you worry... I had all the cardigans and pashminas to look like a middle aged widow from every Nicholas Sparks book/movie ever! 😉 A rustic cottage with only the basics, great food and wine, and a private beach so we didn’t have to wear our masks for a little while. It was incredibly refreshing.
*This was a few weeks ago but I’m obsessed with this talking cat 😹 When he hits the “no” button consistently, it is such a mood and I’m here for it.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/people.com/pets/steve-cat-talking-buttons/%3famp=true
*My Enneagram 2w3 heart got to save the day yesterday for a friend with 4 sick little kiddos at home. She told me she loved me and I cried in my van the whole way home. Ha. I miss my friends.. it’s hard to be the only friend, childless (not by choice), and have felt very alone and forgotten in this covid season. Clearly, I know that having kids of any age can be a dumpster fire in this season is so impossibly hard.. I don’t want to diminish that. I’m just so thankful I got to see her even for a brief moment and help her out. I felt seen and loved for the first time since March.
Half turd/half treasure:
* I blew a tire on my van today right before I turned into my nanny kiddo’s preschool. But, my sweet husband came to fix the tire and my nanny dad left work and brought Chick-Fil-A for all of us! Another lady got a flat a few minutes later after me and she called AAA (while we both were waiting) and said she knew 0 men to call and that broke my heart. It made me be even more thankful in the moment and we offered to help but AAA arrived before my husband was done with my tire. I realized my privilege as well.
Beauty instead of ashes. Treasures out of turds.
My gosh I feel for that woman.
Good men are so good to have around and I’m grateful to have a bunch now - but also have felt the sting of having none in the past.
Glad you see the treasure in the turd. I hope she finds some treasures.
Thank you for sharing that ❤️ I’m so sorry you went through that season.
Ugh...car stuff is the WORST. I literally just paid off my car last Friday and the NEXT DAY I hit a construction moat in my neighborhood that ripped the bottom part of my front fender in half and also dislodged this plastic housing near my tire. My husband duct taped it and called it good...but SERIOUSLY. I'm so sorry you had car trouble, but I'm so glad you had a rescuer! :)
Oh my goodness!! I’m so sorry that happened to you! Thank you for commiserating with me 😊
Also, cannot WAIT to start Erin’s 10 day devotional and I adored Faith Adjacent this week. Former TLW graduate here 🙋🏼♀️ and I wore a pale blue dress to my “commitment to purity” ceremony because I had done things with my high school bf and thought I didn’t deserve to wear white anymore 🤣 Also, my incredibly wise parents wouldn’t go to the True Love Waits Ceremony because they thought it was reallll weird! Haha. And they were right all along. Dang it 😉
Wait... those ceremonies actually happened?!
Oh yes.. we walked down the aisle of the church as a symbolic gesture of being pure until our wedding day when we actually walk down the aisle! 😆🙈 Letters and pledges to our future spouses were also written, signed by our pastor, and then given back to us in a sealed envelope. Lol
My word that’s wild.
Alright.
Hi.
My week’s turd-tone was set on Monday when a friend asked me why I wasn’t engaging much with church. And I cried, because there’s many reasons I’m not engaging - from grief about losing my job in ministry late last year (yay budget issues...), and missing the team, and missing the diverse lil family my old church was, to the big church energy of this new one that leaves me feeling disconnected and like I don’t fit into the system because I’m 31 and don’t have a baby so they can’t put me in the young adults group but also not in the mums group. So. She asked this in the middle of a walk by the harbour and I cried for the remaining 3km, all the way around a lighthouse, past the people on rollerblades, and avoided eye contact with the puppies that went by because they didn’t need to see my sadness.
And honestly, the turd-tone never went away.
But. Here’s some internet treasures:
- Adamsandler Hamilton. Thanks, reddit.
https://www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/hamiltonmusical/comments/5m6pu2/adamsandler_hamilton/
- Cheese Boats. I saw them on someone’s insta and wanted one. This recipe was the winner.
https://www.31daily.com/ooey-gooey-cheese-boat-youll-love/
- I’m late to this party but I needed a friend to chat through church sads with and Sarah Bessey became that when I started Jesus Feminist yesterday. You think she’d drink tea with me?
I'm so sorry you had a turd-toned week! I hope and pray this week will be lighter and that you can find connection in this church or somewhere else. Feeling like you don't fit in in church really stinks!
(Also, why did you have to make me crave a cheese boat? 😂)
I'm so sorry you're feeling so sad. I have been sad about some church stuff lately, too, and I totally empathize about the "where do I fit in" energy. I only recently got married at 37, so I've been in that place and know how much it sucks. Connection is everything, especially with a church group, and it's so, so hard when you aren't feeling that. Something that has helped me (despite how trite it might sound) is remembering that God sent Jesus to be "God with us"...and He keeps that promise. You aren't alone!
It isn’t trite. It’s true!
I’ve been hanging tight to that grace and trusting that he’s got me even when I’ve got nothing left in the tank.
But this week the grief hit hard and I cried so very much and I mean, it’s just been a week of blah, and I’m wishing I had church people nearby who would care if I didn’t show up.
Oh! Bonus treasure:
Rev Lizzie on Instagram. Follow her. Bless her. Love her.
https://instagram.com/rev.lizzie?igshid=aw6ad10kwma3
Just dropping in to say a quick hi to you all 👋
A combination of the following has kept me from most internet things this week: an almost-1-year-old who is fighting naps RULL HARD, a 3-year-old who is waking up hungry in the middle of the night more often than not, an increasing client load at work (a blessing, but also feeling the burden of their pain and heartaches), and then you know, the world??? Sigh.
I will say, I pre-ordered Trillia Newbell's new book "Creative God, Colorful Us" coming out in 2021 (https://www.christianbook.com/creative-god-colorful-us/9780802424181/pd/424181#CBD-PD-Publisher-Description). It's geared toward 6-11 year old kids, and mine aren't quite there yet, but they will be before I know it.
Love to you all. Happy Fall. Also, can I just say the Pumpkin Cream Cold Brew is VERY MUCH SO better than the PSL? Is this a spicy take? Anyway, it's my fave Starbucks drink ever, and if you haven't had it yet, go forth ye Swipes & try it this weekend. ❤️🍁
This has nothing to do with helping you with your children, but I totally loved your "RULL HARD" since I also say that phrase with the same intonation on a regular basis. Made me smile.
😂😂 the ways in which we understand each other here - no matter how random - is beyond lovely. 🙏💗
Sameeee! I saw how you typed it and thought “oh that’s how I should spell it when I type it!” 😂
I have a tip for keeping you toddler asleep but its a bit of a hot take. Melatonin for kids. Heres what I've done. I start at the top dose allowed for their age, giving them that dose for two-three days. Once I'm convinced they are sleeping through the night well, I slowly back the amount down until we reach no melatonin. Whenever theres been a disruption of their typical sleep pattern that needs reset thats what has helped reset it. Of course do your own research and following your own mom instinct.
Oh my gosh, I didn't even think about it being a disruption in his sleep pattern! That's so helpful to consider. I think I might actually have some kid's melatonin on hand, too. Thank you, Erin!!
You’re welcome! I hope it works!
(But srsly if anyone has advice for helping my 3.5-year-old sleep through the night again, I'm all ears. We do snacks before bed every night, and yet...)
Yes I have heard a boring bedtime snack with fat + protein is key... Kids Eat in Color answered this question recently... maybe check her Insta! I can't remember what else she said.
Oh, nice!! I'll check out the post. We tried banana w/ peanut butter a few nights, but then (OF COURSE) he decided he didn't like that anymore. Sigh. His all-time favorite snack is applesauce, which is basically air. 😆🤦🏻♀️
Could you maybe leave a boring snack on the bedside table that they could eat if they wake up hungry and go right back to sleep? Something with protein that would stick longer?
I love that idea! Definitely worth a shot. Thank you!
I hope it helps!
Hey friends! Enjoying my Friday working-in-the-office treat of Starbucks Nitro Coldbrew and looking forward to a slow afternoon in higher ed.
- I told everyone Facebook I was voting for Joe Biden and got 0 hateful comments! That was super encouraging. I think it helped a lot that I explained that I still care about unborn children, but I will be voting for Biden through a post written by Elizabeth Baker. Here's her post on insta - https://www.instagram.com/p/CFYMBq8p8uL/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link - and Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/elizabethbakerwrites/posts/743210289859274 - if you want to use it, too.
- I listened to Dax Shepard's personal update on his sobriety on Armchair Expert over lunch, and it was vulnerable, brave, and moving.
- Jon Foreman's (of Switchfoot) solo song Instead of a Show has been playing in my head all week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UihssQZoUd4
Ruth Graham's tweet also applies to aunts. Yesterday my six-year-old niece kept asking me to come outside and watch her skate and draw. Later she turned into a demon spawn that I had to wrestle out of skates and clothes and into a leotard for gymnastics. After a 10 minute nap on the way to class, she returned to her sweet self and begged me to stay and watch. I got to see her do her first aerial on the floor and she ran over twice to hug me. Cue the tears and exploding heart.
PRECIOUS.
I missed the comments last week, but I'm looking forward to digging into them with a glass of wine tonight!
Turns out starting a career in school social work remotely in the middle of a pandemic is a TAD stressful. I gave myself a 3-day-long migraine last week (hence, missing the Lil Swipes comments).
BUT I got my first paycheck today and I'm going to Whole Foods tonight because I'm a grown woman and I deserve boujee groceries. I'm getting the ingredients to make the roast chicken Flo Pugh made on her insta stories last week (iykyk). I'm SO excited for it. I'm going to do the chicken, roasted veggies, gravy, sweet spaghetti (family recipe, I grew up eating it), and homemade biscuits. Yes, it's for just me, and I will have leftovers FO DAYS, but I'm so excited to kick off sabbath with this feast.
My church small group met last weekend in person house church style and it warmed my heart in every way possible. For back story: I was a part of a network of house churches here in Chicago for the last 3ish years and they shut down towards the end of last year. My specific location shut down just before the world went up in flames, so I've spent all of quarantine church homeless. It's been rough, but I'm in a community group at this new-to-me church with a family who used to host one of the house churches in the network and they volunteered their home last weekend to do service house church style. I lead worship, we streamed the sermon, and then spent a good hour and a half fellowshipping afterwards. It was all socially distanced and v safe, but it was just SO nice to be with other believers in person again and the fact that we did it house church style made it all the better.
Also, I cut off all of my hair last night (okay, not ALL of my hair, but it's definitely quite the change) and I'm feeling like a new woman. I'm donating 13 inches to Children With Hair Loss and saving a BOAT LOAD of dollas on conditioner. After 6 years of living in Chicago, I FINALLY found a stylist I like and who knows what's up when cutting curly hair. I gave her alllllll of my dollars.
And that video mocking the Social Dilemma KILLED ME DEAD. It's too accurate.
Girl, get those boujee groceries! You deserve it!
It was DELIGHTFUL
Boujee groceries is cracking me up!
Catch me rolling up in my 15 year old car, but dropping a dime on an organic, free range whole chicken.
I am in desperate need of a new stylist (moved back to my hometown where I didn't really have a person to begin with after three years in another state where I LOVED my hair guy and sometimes still drive back three hours for an appointment but cannot do that due to Covid and now need a new person and feel terrified to trial and error it). How did you find a new hair person? Please teach me your ways.
I honestly did a lot of googling. I have curly-ish hair and wanted someone who knew what the heck they were doing so I googled something basic like: "curly hairdresser chicago" and went to town. It's helpful to find someone who has their instagram listed in their bio on the salon's page so then you can go and see examples of their work.
Wasn't last week your birthday week? Does that mean you had a three day migraine on the anniversary of the day of your birth?
REDO!!!
My birthday was the week before. So no migraine on the day of birth, but due to 2020 being a dumpster fire, I would very much like a redo.
Congratulations on finding a good curly hair stylist! Such a unicorn!
FORREAL. I was sick of going to people that were basically like "all hair matters, I can work with all hair types" and then have them wet my head before cutting it. Like, sis. No.
Caaaaaaan I come eat at your house?
YES PLEASE
I need a hair cut so bad! It's literally been more than a year...
Yeah I usually go more than a year because I have trust issues when it comes to people coming close to my head with scissors.
Yep, coming up on a year here. I got one in November 2019. Like what?
Over a year is the norm for me. You're in good company. 😂
Sounds like you have a very nice Friday night planned. Enjoy!
It was great!
Oof. I haven’t posted in a couple weeks because I have been unhealthy fiving. So this week, I leaned in hard on spending time with my kids and husband and all of that, posting on social media again etc. Then yesterday I got in an argument with an uncle who said to me “I guess your feelings matter more than FACTS,” and I had a breakdown. Look, I am a FIVE. I have ALL THE FEELINGS but you’d better believe I come for the facts. I struggle to remember that feelings aren’t unimportant and misleading but sometimes completely appropriate already.
Anyway, the treasure of this turd was that it led to a good conversation with my cousin (who assured me that aside from her dad, our extended family is avoiding political conversations like the...well, they’re avoiding them) and my mom. My mom and I have been growing apart over the past few years. She now lives overseas as an m word I can’t say on the internet and with me having to make myself adult without her as well as going through some deconstruction of my faith, we aren’t as close as we used to be. So being able to share those feelings of isolation and otherness with her despite our different views was a balm.
The other hard thing from yesterday was that my six year old daughter has gotten very curious about divorce. My husband and I have assured her that we love each other and aren’t divorcing, but this led to a lot of questions about my parents’ divorce (which happened when I was her age) and that was hard. I’ve dealt with most of those feelings about my dad, but it comes back up sometimes. I didn’t include the stuff I didn’t think she could handle—he was a high school teacher who left us for a student—but it’s still hard to try to explain in a way to a six year old that someone we love can do terrible, crappy things.
Anyway, this week has not been sunshine and roses, but I’m thankful for the probably false fall we are having in SC, as well as long-distance and internet friendships. They’re the things saving my life right now. Also thankful for cross stitch, which I’m learning to do. It keeps me from some of the scrolling and it’s cathartic to stab something repeatedly and come out with something pretty.
I'm so sorry about all these hard conversations! You're doing good work.
I'm glad the conversations with your cousin and mom were good ones. And proud of you for leaning into healthy activities even when you didn't want to.
This was a weird week for me. It sounds like I’m in good company. Here’s my mix of turds and treasures.
(1) Depression and anxiety are hard. They don’t give any warning and they increase the heaviness of a thousandfold. I tell people that on my bad days, it’s like running through Jello. I had a couple days this week where I was pretty much useless. And then I feel bad about getting nothing done. It’s a bad cycle. Today feels better. One day at a time, I guess.
(2) On Fridays I do a FaceTime crossword puzzle with my mom. It’s delightful. We had a hard relationship for a really long time. Most of my life. It’s just been this year (largely because of the Enneagram) that I’ve been able to understand her in a way that makes me appreciate her and not feel angry all the time. My parents are in their 70s, so I figure I’m going to create as many good memories as I can to balance out the difficult years.
(3) I’ve been having a hard time with my church lately. I feel disconnected and “going” (online) doesn’t make me feel better. My husband did a really wonderful job of talking me through those feelings last night and while I still feel frustrated, it feels manageable. My husband isn’t a Christian, but he does an amazing job of meeting me where I’m at and helping me make sense of my faith and my feelings.
This feels like word vomit, but it’s time for the crossword. I appreciate that this community does the opposite of my church—makes me feel connected. Happy weekend, everyone!
Yes. They. Are. (response to #1).
What a beautiful gift in #2, and in a husband who talks you through the feels.
Glad you shared. :)
Sending love. I'm a long time soldier in the battle against depression and anxiety has become a big issue this year as well. It is absolutely only one day at a time.
Tearing up on item 2.
I'm so glad for item 3 related to your husband being a support to you.
We are here for the connections....The jello running is such a thing. We are here for you.
I'm glad you have found ways to connect with your mom, a weekly crossword sounds delightful. Also happy your husband has been helpful and supportive, makes such a difference. I hope you have fewer jello days next week.
That should say “increase the heaviness of life...” 🙄 Typos when you are a writer and former English teacher feel...🤬
Erin,
You did some preaching in the Faith Adjacent, and I like it!
I was reflecting on the purity culture movement and the thought struck me, it wasn't just in our sexuality, but we were expected to remain pure in many ways. Dont listen to that music or PUT ANYTHING INTO OUR MINDS THAT ISNT EDIFYING side hugs only, Harry Potter is out, but LOTR is fine because he was a christian EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS MAGIC AND WIZARDS IN BOTH (my theory: wizards were ok in LOTR bc misogyny, witches are clearly not ok because they are evil. and female.) gah! It was intense. so many rules.
Sorry, obviously that brought out lots of feelings! :)
We are still in the US and waiting to get back to France. Some days this week were harder to hold out hope. Also its been intense around here. Im living in Louisville at the moment, and lots of people have opinions and lots are grieving. It's heartbreaking. Thankfully the churches that I have heard from are trying to listen. So that is good.
My treasures:
This week in our family bible study, we were evaluating the character trait of patience. The tagline: We choose to be patient even when we feel like getting our own way. This speaks to me right now, and honestly my inner toddler wants to throw hissy fits and demand my way. If my kids can do it, I can too.
Blackberry sparkling water/sodas... who knew blackberries were so sweet?!?
VO5 conditioner... is this allowed? Something from my past that is delighting me now? well, it reminds me of the smell of my mother from when I was a child, and I find it oddly comforting, like a middle aged woman smell blanket. Also, its conditions my hair really well. I used to have flat hair but aging has changed things, including the texture of my hair?!? so I've been experimenting.
and lastly... embracing that PSL life!!! Give me all the fall, all the colors, the cool temps (sorry Deep South folks!), and cozy blankets. I need some cozy overdosy therapy right now.
You are doing your own preaching here---I just recently told my husband about the whole "keeping your thoughts pure" factor of not having sex before marriage and/or not reading Harry Potter (that made me laugh...) and he (as not a person of faith) was flabbergasted about it all. But man...when that message gets in there---that you are BAD if you even think a hint of a thing about sex---it's really hard to root out. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts here.
OMG V05. I just had a literal scent memory with the v05 hot oil treatment. OOOF, do they still make that?
We're jealous for your cool temps, but we also honor it for you.
VO5 is the conditioner of my youth! Interestingly, as I have waded into the Curly Girl Method of embracing natural hair texture, I believe there are some VO5 conditioners that are recommended as a gateway product haha!
I feel nostalgic for the strawberry-scented one...
Ugh, yes! That one was my favorite!
I love experimenting with fruits/berries and sparkling water but I haven't tried blackberries yet. It sounds really good!
If you’re getting on board the blackberry drink train, I highly recommend getting a bottle of Monin Blackberry syrup. I add it to plain sparkling water with some lemon or lime juice and it’s so refreshing and I feel better about being able to control how much sugar I’m drinking. I found it originally because it’s what Chili’s uses in their blackberry tea. You can put it in tea or cocktails or really whatever strikes your fancy. It’s been a game-changer for me
The coffee shop I worked at for a while had a Monin blackberry syrup drink that was delish: 8ish oz iced coffee, 1 oz Monin blackberry, 1 oz chocolate sauce (like Hershey's syrup), 1 scoop vanilla ice cream. Put it in a blender with a cup of ice.
I love this little internet community so much! It’s such a joy to know this is going to be in my inbox on Friday mornings.
I am on the waiting list at my library for Jack by Marilynne Robinson but this article I read this morning only amplified my desire to read it. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/10/05/marilynne-robinsons-essential-american-stories
I’m also listening to Sufjan’s new album today (he is one of my top 10 fave musicians)
Also, Erin, I showed my mom Hamilton for the first time this week. She clapped after every song and at the end she goes, “wow! That was amazing! But I did not know there was so much rapping in it.” 😂😂🙄
Ooh hitting up that new Sufjan now!
Watch this and I dare you not to cry!!!!
https://wnyt.com/news/elderly-utah-pizza-man-gets-12000-dollars-from-tiktok-fans/5872273/#:~:text=The%20Valdezes%20say%20it's%20because,Newey%20a%20big%20delivery%20tip.
I failed. I'm crying.
How's about that Harry Styles gif at the end... Bless us all. If you listened to this week's Popcast episode... you know I am conflicted by a simultaneous love of Harry Styles and a fear of literally everything else. So this 1950s psychological thriller is really throwing me for a loop. My current plan is to read the entire script of the movie before going to see it. So that there are no surprises. Also- I may actually take the advice and watch Get Out. But yall... I'm scared. A common quote in my house is "three spooky five me" because it's like "two spooky for me" taken up one notch. Get Out sounds three spooky. It's really causing some inner turmoil.
Ok, three spooky is hilarious! Also I haven't listened to this week's Popcast, but honestly Get Out is not that spooky! I don't like horror movies, and Get Out was just suspenseful. Now, I also tried to watch Us and THAT was too much for me. THREE SPOOKY!
As a girl who used to take my discman (RIP) and a book to every sleepover, I feel your pain, Adrienne. I always say I can’t handle the suggestion of scary. I hope you figure it out!
I’m still scared of ET and refuse to watch it. No shame in the game of pure avoidance! 😂
I am TERRIFIED OF ET!!!!!!!!!
YAS. I am not alone in my fear. Haha.
😮 I never found E.T. scary (even at age 12) until the grownups came to control the situation. Then I was angry and sad. He’s so adorable in personality that it was not the least scary to me.
And I say that as someone who REFUSES to watch scary movies or read scary stories. Trust me!
Adrienne, as I have told you via several media this week 😂😂😂, YOU CAN DO IT
A Week of Unlikely Victories: A Short Story
I have finally come around to the idea of hacking your crying. I’m more of a bury-it-deep-inside-until-it-dissolves kind of Feelings feeler, but I made the wonderful mistake of turning on Call the Midwife. It restarted in some seasons I’ve already seen, and I just planted myself in front of that TV and cried over all those babies, and Sister Evangeline, and Mary Cynthia, and Susan Mullucks all over again. And the next day was a little brighter. #latetothepartybutgladtobeherethanksforhavingme
And listen. I’m just so terrible at painting my nails. I must be the prime demographic for Olive & June though, because it seems my entire online life has been sponsored by their ads lately...and I’ve heard nothing but good reviews…but like, I’m just really bad at nails, you guys! I decided that I needed a treat/project last weekend that could be accomplished and bought the Poppy from Target to try it out.
Y’all. I meeeeeeaaaannnnnnn!
My nails are still painted! And it doesn’t look like I did it blindfolded! So now my phone is filled with screenshots of colors that I want to get and try out. If you need me, I’ll be Adding to Cart all the pretty colors I think I can pull off, and maybe a few that I would never have considered before, and crying about pretend babies, and sprinkling in GBBO as much as I can get away with this weekend!
Narrator: She learned the value of listening to her online friends that week. And she was better off because of it.
The End
This story was a freaking delight!
O & J have been courting my adverts for a long time now, and to date I have not succumbed. But then today I got an email for an O & J advent calendar with little bebe colors and tools and my clicker finger keeps hovering like the Holy Spirit over the waters wanting to buy that thing...
"Narrator: She learned the value of listening to her online friends that week. And she was better off because of it." ------> LOVE THIS!
This was a great short story!
Call the Midwife gets me almost every episode. So. Many. Tears.
Didn't realize I needed Mr. Rogers to be my cheerleader this morning, but I definitely do!
So looking forward to going through the Comforting Words with this group! I've been pretty adverse to bible study type things for awhile, but this is a such a supportive, non-judgmental group.
Not sure if this is a treasure or turd, but this Hogwarts virtual school spoof was a little too close to home with my middle schooler's experience: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B18ss3dbRAI
Finally I've been listening to the audio book The Happy Ever After Playlist by Abby Jimenez and it is such a sweet (and a little spicy!) love story and the accompanying Spotify playlist is a very fun companion. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1tsC0rNPk4Q4lymo4ek83S?si=sgL4YukdTjak64elsBmdXQ
hehe loving this HP spoof
Guys this whole response thread is just really lovely. Thank you.
"Walk it off...I guess." 😂
I have been VERY anti-Bible study lately, but I made myself buy Comforting Words last night, knowing that I would regret it if I didn't. I'm honestly just excited to spend more time with my internet friends...and if I can get some sort of spiritual jump-start out of it, all the better!
You will not be sorry! The comfortable words are so lovely.
Exactly!
Popping in as the...........I'll say it skeptic to spiritual return, my coming back to any thing Bible and Church has been a 2018-2020 event. When early in 2019 I discovered The Bible Binge and that was the catalyst for many things. It helped. I was a voice. A salve. And this.....space where I was all "this is what I remember liking about this study in my teens before (cue the horns) Purity Culture and choices in life shame" -- The Comforting Words last year were a balm to me when Erin debuted it initially. I loved it. And to know I can discuss these elements with this amazing group of people. I am here for it.
It's nice to hear this. I've just subscribed to Bible Binge and mostly just because it's more of Knox and Jamie and Erin. I am in the middle of deconstructing my faith and pulling out a lot of the bits I was taught growing up and I'm hoping this will be a nice balm to the deep wandering and feeling lost.
Yes. I can confess when I worked through The Comforting Words before, I actually cried journaling out feelings and listening to audio Erin provided. It was exactly what I needed. And we will be on the path with you, wandering together.
YES! The Bible Binge was the catalyst! I listened for fun and realized that Christians could be funny and serious, and in-the-world-but-not-of-it in a more tangible way than I was seeing in my life. It basically ruined church for me. And thank goodness for that! I'm so thankful for this ruining. It's the rebuilding that is so difficult. I am also all the way here for this amazing group of people.
Yes, yes, yes! "In the world but not of it" is such a perfect description. We got a new pastor about a year ago, and while I do believe he has the best of intentions, the feeling I get from every interaction with him/his wife is just like if something is blatantly Christian-produced content (books, movies, holidays, etc) - then it's not worthy. Erin's Faith Adjacent with Hamilton was the hug I needed that WE could find beauty and truth and holiness in SO many places.
See, this group is my mythical church community. This is what I'd want from Church, but instead....I've had.....not ideal church female community. So for me, I want the content, I want the learning, I want the fellowship of similar thought, the fantastic conversations and not the --- drama. The drama has taken me out so many times.
YES! These are the church people I would choose. I think we're in the right place, friend. Welcome!
Love the church of the Swipes. We all have the hearts for true fellowship and I loooooves it.
It's been a rough week dealing with our health care sharing "ministry" in order to try to get my sinus surgery covered. Every time I'm on the phone with them, they ask if they can pray for me, and every time I just want to say, "Nah, I'm good on the prayer...I'd rather you just pay my medical bills." Ugh. I'm not bitter. It's fine.
I knew I was in an unhealthy place emotionally when I started getting in arguments with strangers on social media (a very NOT enneagram 9 thing to do). I'm so thankful for a good friend who asked me hard questions about how much time I was spending on social media, reading the news, and engaging in other life-giving activities vs. intake of depressing news and hot takes on social media. I reestablished the screen time limits on my phone and decided to take Saturdays as a Sabbath from social media. Thankful for a friend who can see me spiraling and ask hard questions without judgment.
Fellow 9 here and I feel you on the social media spiral! Love your Social Media Sabbath idea! Hang in there.
We all need those friends AND social-media sabbaths.
Good morning, all! I’m going to ignore all the turds going on in the world for the sake of this thread.
-This is half turd/half treasure, but my Oma went to the ER last weekend with crazy high BP (something like 240/160) and ended up having to stay a few days and get a pacemaker put in. Oma is really the only grandparent who has been a big part of my life since the others died in my early childhood, and I refuse to face the fact that she’s 85 and her health is declining, so this was not and easy thing for me to hear. I’m going to visit her this weekend as she’s recovering from surgery to help her out as much as she’ll let me (if people want to know where I get my quiet stubbornness and independence from, they need only look to my mom and Oma), and I’m bringing The Boy with me so she can meet him. I’m focusing on the positive that I get to see her and have her meet Michael, and I’m praying she lives many more years, gets to be at my wedding potentially in the near-ish future, and is in good health.
-This meme: https://www.instagram.com/p/CFfrQYkF_6D/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
-I’m not a crazy fall person, but I am very much enjoying the cooler weather this week and feeling like I can go with either hot or iced coffee right now. This is just the fall tease, and the hotter weather will return next week for a week or two, but I’m enjoying it for now.
-Schitt’s Creek. I know I’m late to this train, but this show is a delight. All of the characters really annoyed me at first and I wasn’t sure I’d get into it, but after about half a season, I was hooked. Those costumes on the little children is perfection.
Alright, that’s all I’ve got. My Fridays are endlessly boring at work, so I really enjoy going through all the links in this thread to keep me occupied when needed!
I'm adding one more treasure to this list that I just listened to- today's episode of Armchair Expert. If you have 45 minutes, I highly recommend listening. I love this podcast for many reasons, but I always appreciate hearing the conversations surrounding sobriety because they're always so real and full of love and grace, and also because I work in addictions recovery and it gives me a window into an addict's thought process. Anyway, today's episode is so full of humility, honesty, grace, and hope from Dax Shepherd. Give it a listen.
I’m also an Arm Chairy and I’m always so impressed with how Dax approaches a variety of topics, but 7 Days...just Wow. It was such a sincere and brave podcast. As a friend of mine said ‘In our current world he's trying to be truthful - to the degree he can, when he can - even if it may be to the detriment of his career. It's impressive, considering that right now it often seems lying is the best path for success’
I felt like I was listening to my little brother in confession and I was so proud and astonished by Dax's honesty and bravery and his loved one's grace and humility. I've been an Arm Cherry since the beginning and I couldn't be a more proud fan today.
It was so good. Brave, bold, humble and truthful. It was a good episode on how broken we all are in some way.
This is a helpful encouragement about Schitt's Creek. I am a solid Enneagram 4, so I don't like doing things that everyone else is doing, but geez LOUISE I could use a laugh right now, so I have been considering jumping on that train, too.
Please make sure to give us the highlights of the Oma/Michael meeting next week!
Will do! He recently told me he downloaded Duolingo when we first made things official to try and learn some Indonesian phrases for when he meets her, so I have a feeling it will go well.❤️ Things I know she will bring up: how long she's been praying for him for me, his prayer life/walk with the Lord, if he's ready for all the Indonesian food we have on holidays, and football.
Schitt's Creek is so much more than we deserve and I will never stop delighting in it. Also, sending hope and prayers for your family and your Oma. My papa is 85 and his health has been declining significantly in the last several months. He was put on oxygen last week and we're not sure how much longer he has. It will be the first time experiencing the death of a loved one and he was such a huge part of my life. I'm so glad you get to see her and she gets to meet your babe.
I'm so sorry your papa is so ill. I lost my grandma two years ago and it's still hard--she was the grandparent that played the biggest part of my life and who just loved me unconditionally. I just said a prayer for him and for you.
Prayers for your papa. Losing loved ones is so so hard.
I have cried over eps of Schitt's Creek. The community of it. The utter acceptance of all that so many would turn away. Moira as a mom has oddly touched me in ways I NEVER would have expected going into S1, ep1. I'm so glad you are enjoying it now.
I sobbed during the episode with Patrick and his parents. Hit me so much harder than I was expecting.
YES! That was me also during the Cabaret episode. Moira and Stevie's moment. BAWWWWLS
Each month this year has seemed to bring a new level of challenge and unbelievable-ness, so it’s joking that aliens are next. 😆
Hello Friends! So happy to see?/talk?/type? with y'all!
Erin Super Girl and the Schitt's Creek Kids were high on my treasure list this week. Excited to see both in the list!
Perhaps my biggest treasure this week is my husband. Without being asked he picked up more feminine products for favorite first born, gave them to her and told her "that he might not always have the answers, and may have to defer to your mom, but I am always here if you have questions or need anything. I will go to the store for whatever you need and any man that loves you should not have a problem getting you what you need" Y'ALL!!!! BonusDadWin As weird as it sounds I swear I fell more in love with him at that moment!
Other Misc Wonders:
Ludacris rapping "Llama Llama Red Pajama"
https://www.facebook.com/157687092983/posts/10157932536622984/?vh=e&extid=RU0A3RUhqMF8EHoR
Mesmerized by this Miniature Art by artist Tanaka Tatsuya.
https://www.facebook.com/229656423861748/posts/1539055896255121/?extid=pLFoN8WwTDVaOHFO&d=n
More amazing creative things! Book sculptures.
https://www.facebook.com/183689198352081/posts/3207940675926903/?extid=tck38BzrHr5zZXgp&d=n
Some other treasury things in the work, but not quite ready to share. I'll keep y'all posted!
Oops one more! Great British Baking Show is back and I'm just about giddy about it!
Good morning, internet friends!!! Long time no post. It has been A week, has it not? I’m going to focus on the good things this week:
I’m legit obsessed with The Home Edit and the new Get Organized series on Netflix. I’m pretty organized but they take it to a whole other level! Also, I really want to hang out with Clea and Joanna.
We watched the OG Karate Kid with my oldest son (10.5). Love it so much! We have not watched Cobra Kai yet but can’t wait!
Some of you may recall my house buying dilemma where my parents were gifting us money as a down payment but my husband wanted to use that for college for our boys. Well, thanks to a good long conversation with his mom, he and I are now both on the same page! Praise the Lord and pass the moving boxes!! Hopefully after the first of the year, we will have a new home and my kids can stop using my bedroom as their playroom! 😆
I binged Home Edit hard. Like, less than 24hrs. While I was unpacking and setting up our new house.
I’m planning all my cabinets to reconfigure!!
Hooray!!
I keep hearing so much about Cobra Kai! I gotta get into it!
Girl, me too!! Also, I hear Johnny and Daniel have really aged well...😏
Is it weird how I'm kind of Team Johnny now? Like I know I've always had a weakness for the Antihero, buttttttttttt
Hi, everyone! I'm usually just a reader and a "liker" in this space but today I decided to stretch outside my introvert bubble and jump into the Lil Swipe fray!
Treasures this week:
- The fireplace setting on Netflix that transforms my dimly-lit living room into a cozy fall respite (lighting all the candles and draping all hard surfaces with throw blankets helps the vibe as well).
- Tearing up while reading just the DESCRIPTION of Erin's The Comfortable Words. Gah. I'm so ready for this study.
- These jeans from Everlane that actually FIT my curvy frame and caused my roommate to say "Your butt looks so good!" https://www.everlane.com/products/womens-curvy-as-highrise-skinny-jean-darkbluewash?collection=womens-jeans
- And lastly, I have finally joined the Game of Thrones band wagon a gazillion years late so my final treasure is short-hair-scruffy-faced Jaime Lannister.
Thank you all for sharing your highs and lows and "aggressively meh" days. They are a comfort in the midst of *gestures vaguely* all this. Happy weekend, lil swipes!
Batten down the hatches for that GoT train! It’s really quite extraordinary, even when it drops the ball. Have fun!
I’m loving it! Everyone keeps warning me about the infamous last seasons, but I honestly just don’t even care. I can’t stop!
You know how there's not an appropriate English word for "umami" in the food world? There's also not an appropriate English word for the specific joy when you find jeans that actually fit.
This is TRUTH. It’s like dating someone who is actually good for you - you had no idea how bad all the other jeans (partners) were until your legs (heart) found this pair (person)!
HOPE! I'm so excited about your inaugural journey to Westeros. My fave.
I have those Everlane jeans and couldn't agree more! I think have to get another pair for fall.
I’m already planning on buying a second (and probably third) pair! 😂
I just listened to the Rainy Day Coffee Shop Ambience and almost fell asleep it was so relaxing. Holy moly! Thanks for the suggestion!
Morning from Mn!
This week. Oof. From RBG to Breonna. From admissions about transfer of power after elections, to.....its a lot. It'ssssss a LOTTTTTT. I had a couple power cries. It's helped. But I wish I had more sporadic cries from something funny and absurd over rage and dismay. But now I'm posting here where good things exist.
That all being said.
Here we go with my handy and oft-updated list I kept all week.
1. People showing their good sides and making my cry for the overall hope of humanity: This is post RBG's passing. I saw so many of you posting powerful content on the Gram. I actually wept because its comforting to see who's feeling the same way I am from all over the country, world, background. It really brought me comfort because right now, feeling like an outlier for just doing what seems to be the most common sense of actions, for aligning with people who seem to genuinely want better things not just for me, but for SO MANY. Oh, I needed to see that community. I need to keep seeing it right now.
2. 4 Albino Squirrels : Okay this was actually something that happened last week but I totally spaced on mentioning it but going back to this moment brought me much joy. Danielle (fellow swiper!!) joined me on this journey of the 4 albino squirrels I saw on one outing. It was a delight.
3. Face Bracket for my mask: Annie F. Downs mentioned a similar product like this on Instragram. I found these and bought them. https://www.amazon.com/Comfortable-Silicone-Breathing-Washable-Reusable/dp/B08GY8MJZ5/ref=pd_ybh_a_20?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=32KAQ7ZWS1X1ZNYJQ990 And so I am wearing lipstick again and feel like my most powerful self again. I don't wear this when going to the grocery store, but when at work when I need my power. When I need that extra UMPH that rocking some power lip.....I wear this under my mask
4. Having a night out with my bestie Stacey --- Stacey is my OG-est of the OG people who know me. Note for the audio, she's actually --- wait for it -- my exstepcousin. My mom was married to her uncle and so my halfsiblings are her legit blood cousins. I have known Stace since I was 4 and we have maintained a grounded amazing relationship for now nearly 40 YEARS. Yes I have been married for nearly 20 years. But Stacey is 1000% my person. She calls me out. She lifts me up. We talk in some way, shape or form every single day and when we don't-- it's noticed. We get together at least once a month and everytime it happens, I leave fueled and more myself. Also we gorged ourselves on tamales and elote, paired with amazing hard cider. SUCH a win.
5. Busting out my Levenger fountain pens to use for my daily journal entries. I have one very similar to this that I bought well before I was a parent and I love using it --https://www.levenger.com/writing-8/shop-by-brand-34/levenger-275/true-writer-royal-fountain-pen-f-mb-13366.aspx
6. Finished knitting a pair of socks. I just love when I make myself socks.
7. So happy for the Comfortable Words returning!
8. I have discovered my fall 2020 quick purchase is buying more guided journals/devotionals. I have bought ....3 in the past month? So once I am done with 100 Days of Brave I will start Take Back Your Life https://www.takebackbook.com/ and then I will do The Between Places
https://www.smaywilsonshop.com/thebetweenplaces
But then I see Beth Moore has one and now Shauna Niequist will release one in April? YUP I will totally get it. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310456835/ref=nav_timeline_asin?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Anyone else have one they love? Because, sure why not get another? ;)
So, another week and now I'm going to jump in and enjoy all the comments and feel so blessed I get to "know" you guys.....
Be well
Be your best (whatever that is for you)
Love to all
mel
Your socks were so cute! I was going to comment on Insta but I think I forgot? I'm currently psyching myself up to knitting a pair of socks for the first time. And when I say currently, I mean I've been doing it for 4-5 years now. 🤷♀️
Hooray for wearing lipstick again and for a great night out with your BFF! Love that!
HA! I think my second sock was on needles for.......a year? I know there are magical ways to make 2 socks at once, but I cannot do that method. Once I get past the heel flap and gusset decreases, I FLY. But its getting there lol. I know I could do a different heel variation to save myself time but I like the more tedious one.
You just used a bunch of words that I don't understand and that is why I will have 500 hats and no socks. 😂 Also, 2 socks at once? Sorcery!
Right??! My best can do the magic loop 2 socks at once thing. I indeed think there is spellcasting involved which brings the concept of "casting on" to mean something else HAHA
Sorry I went all sock-knitter-ese on you.
No need to apologize, I could just learn the terms and then I might be less afraid of trying socks... Lol
I had to take a class to make my first sock which is why I am very stuck to a certain style because that was what I learned to make and developed that muscle memory for it. But there are SO many helpful youtube videos for some of the elements. I think the scariest part of socks was initially tiny needles (multiple ones at that) and tiny yarn. But once you make one pair, you are so hooked. Maybe start making baby socks for someone you know? Or make a heavier weight slipper sock for yourself because then you can learn on larger needles with heavier yarn so its less scary.
Also, I had no idea Shauna Niequist was releasing a guided journal. I might have to get that.
We will both have to mark our calendars for April!
Yasss!
And you know I truly have it marked down LOL
I'm impressed you already have a 2021 calendar!
Stacey! So wonderful. My closest friends are some I made in college and then lived with for most of my 20s/early 30s, but I do have one friend whom I have know since we were in preschool. We aren't as close as we used to be, but there is something so wonderful about someone knowing you for that long.
Yes she is truly my sister from another mister. We just get each other on another level and I can't imagine my life without her.
Oh man, I love me some guided journals/devos. I am adding all of these to my list.
If you find others, please share my way.
I am such a fan of your Stacey. Just adore that.
We are currently AirBnb shopping to do a local getaway together LOL. We now realize we are Golden Girls in the making.
Mel, thank you for sharing your heart and your life <3 I am so happy for you to have a Stace! Those elementary school treasured friends stay in my life too. i would like to see said socks pls.
I posted about them on Instagram, feel free to add me @ohemgeemn
https://www.instagram.com/p/CFXcT_gDFrV5uD-jwFQiDsuuGdgfoYe_cY0Apg0/?igshid=15ek1gtjaz0bd
I love your ode to Stacey. The older I get (ok, I'm not that old, but it's true), the more I enjoy being with people that knew me when I was young. Before the world got to me.
So I sometimes get a little sad I lost touch with most of my early childhood friends (or high school for that matter) mostly because I moved far away for college and never went back (it was probably a jerk thing to not keep up contact, but I was young and foolish). I see them on Facebook though and we are friendly. BUT I made some great friends in college. Some of them are like family. Our kids call each other cousins and my friends their aunts and uncles. As often as possible (we and few other friends live overseas) we get together for camping and straight up silliness. Its so wonderful to be with people who know our straight up terrible sides, our stupidest mistakes, our worst qualities and love us because of it. Yes we still have great relationships with our family and they fill that need to, but something about those peers that is really needed.
I have college friends TOTALLY like that. Mainly my sorority sisters have that vibe with me as truly being family. I GET it. The chosen family is so key and needed.
She is truly my touchstone. With my mom gone - I feel for a lot of my life she carries my history and I carry hers and its such a blessing to have her.
*crying emoji* (im on my computer)
Right? But it's true. Seeing as my parents are divorced, people who have technically "known me" longer haven't really BEEN there like she has. She has basically lived in a 15 mile radius to me for 25+ years. SHE KNOWS where the bodies are buried. We had times of distance here and there in parts of our 20s (I was in college, she got married and had kids) but we always picked back up, we never cut the tie, we just picked the rope up. But having her in my life all this time with no chance of it stopping. Means so much.
That is AMAZING!!!!
OH here's the cider hall we visit. I have basically loved everything on their menu: https://sociablecider.com/
It is! And the food truck they had there. They made this chips from Taro root and it had these greens on them that she and I GEEKED out over. We also had a gentleman (why hello there lol) comment that he felt bad eavesdropping on our conversation at one point when there but he was so entertained he couldn't stop listening.
We were geeking out about jam and bread. I'm not kidding. And we were then taking said jam flavors and ranking them like "apocalypse boyfriends" -- who will make the babies for the future? Sorry Pear jam, you are NOT the father! LOL
Yeah that might have been a few ciders in. We were in full on silly giggle mode.
YES Apparently Levenger is still around, but I remember not getting their emails because they send SO DANG MANY *haha* I fell in love with fountain pens in my 20s. I even have a pen box :)
See, Stacey and I are both knitters, but she's a leftie! So I can't learn from her but she is an INSANELY talented knitter. Whereas I am the practical knitter. I knit basics and she knits amazing elements with cables and extra lace.
Stace and I took multiple knitting classes together. She's always been the mathlete to my poet, the engineer to my painter....so her GETTING the extra skills from the jump is SO why I love her. Her talent blows my mind.
She and I are also in a yarn of the month club together.
She's the one I bought jam for.
SEEEEEEEE I love this for you!
Gah. What a week. I listened to Beth Silvers' Nightly Nuance about being tired and overburdened, and it resonated with me so much. I sent it to my husband and my bff, telling them how much it impacted me. My husband was great - he wanted to hear from me rather than some random (to him) lady on the internet, and he was thoughtful and engaged. My friend, however, threw me for a loop. "I hate politics, I hate being categorized, why can't people just do what God calls them to each day and stop being so judgy", etc. It was a gut punch, tbh. I cried a lot. All the overwhelming things jumped on board, and while some sleep and laying off the martinis has helped, it's all still weighing really heavily on me. I haven't seen her since December, and I'm going out to visit her TOMORROW, so the timing is stressful too. And! We're both PMSing. Which, I would like to point out, amplifies my emotions, but doesn't explain them away. Also, I'm an Enneagram 9.
My 10-year-old son has only turned in 10% of his literacy homework since school started, because "it's boring". And because it's challenging - he's used to achieving mastery over something on the first try, which isn't happening for him. He hasn't been attending the (online) class, either. I've got a phone call with his teacher today, and ongoing "We can do hard things" conversations with the kid.
Oh friend, I have lived through many similar moments this year with close friends and family. Fellow enneagram 9 who has cried all the tears. I hope your visit can be healing, and you can stay in the conversation even when it's tense or uncomfortable. That's been my big area of growth this year--just staying present rather than fleeing from conflict (most of the time). Sometimes I still just moonwalk my way out of any conversation that feels fraught.
Yes! I am trying to remember that it's okay to have conflict with people you love, that it's not the end of our friendship. But I will probably not be discussing politics with her much in the near future. I don't have the emotional capacity to handle it gracefully right now.
I feel this. I'm so sorry and I hope your visit is productive and honoring of how you feel as well.
Oh wow. That's tough. We need alignment with the bffs!
Hope the visit ends up being a good thing, and the ship of your son's literacy turns around soon.
I really hope the time with your friend allows for good conversation about this hard thing. I'm so sorry. I really feel for you (fellow 9 here). Also on your 10 yo. I predict some of that will pop up eventually with my 5 yo. He does NOT like it if he isn't good at something right away, and gives up almost immediately. (See: epic waterworks when he accidentally transposed two letters of his name during writing practice).
Thanks. And I'm pretty sure I'm living your future. :) It's tricky to balance giving him grace and compassion (because you know he's beating himself up already), with setting expectations and discipline (because sometimes he has to just do something that's hard for him). And to think I thought parenting daughters was going to be my challenge...
I'm currently procrastinating, but that's the story of my life. Tonight I may get a little time with a friend, and I am alternately super excited and aggressively "meh" about it. This has been a hard friendship year for me (even pre-pandemic), and I feel like I've lost the ability to friend. Anyway... here is an IG account with some mesmerizing dance videos:
https://instagram.com/_aubreyfisher?igshid=1125jkof7mde5
Also I randomly put on a John Mayer station on Amazon Music the other day and it was incredible. A trip back to college and music I haven't thought about in years.
Love to you all!
I'm in love with John Mayer. I saw him live last year and one day we will get to enjoy live music again... *cries*
I feel you hard on 2020 being a hard friendship year. Friend group blew the eff up about a year ago and there is still shrapnel everywhere. We are all still healing and then finding things that haven't even begun to heal. I have one person that I'm actively pouring into and who is pouring into me and that's all I can handle. Also, thank you for the gift of the phrase aggressively "meh" I will now be using it in all aspects of life.
Oof. I think having one well reciprocated friendship is worth a lot, especially after a friend group implosion. I pray for continued healing in that area. Also, it is my pleasure to provide a new phrase for you! 😄
I put on a John Mayer YouTube playlist while I cooked dinner and then got so distracted, trying to figure what the girl who was in the Your Body is a Wonderland video is up to now, I almost burned the coconut rice (she's a model now, looks great).
That's some Nerdsniping right there lol
I've never connected so hard to a phrase as when I read the words: aggressively "meh" - GAH - that is my whole vibe right now.
2020 can be summed up with meh-gah!
100% same!
Erin, first off, thank you for this month's Faith Adjacent. It had me cracking up about musical toots on the way home from church, soberly nodding while making lunch, clapping and Amening in walmart, and shouting in my car. Its encouraged me to dig deeper on some uncomfy things and thats good and growth. I've had Devi and Jess's podcast in my ears for the rest of the week (and will be hitting play again as soon as I'm done here.) Though I never was handed The Bride Wore White, or signed a pledge card, or actually even had to endure youth group sex talks (cause parents pulled me out) the culture was so pervasive in what it was saying implicitly that up untill 7 months ago I was scared to hug a boy (middle school admonitions from parents ringing in my ears) So that now that I'm almost 30 and in a serious relationship for the first time ever I'm just like "whats a healthy, God-honoring way to BE here?" anywhoo. Thank you.
Treasuresssssss
- The Boy's best friend from college is in town this week and I get to meet him tonight!!! (I'm under strict instructions not to fall in love with him, oh brother....)
- My sister and I had a celebrate fall night last sunday and made Apple Mimosas with honey and cinnamon sugar rimmed glasses and Apple Fritter Cake and just let me say that was the most NEEDED girls night.
-If I could just snap shot all the moments that made my heart warm or fluttery or just fiercely protective of my James this week, I would... but also those are *MINE* yall I love this boy.
I don't feel like its out of turn to ask for prayer here, but I have some career transitions possibly on the horizon that would be really big for me that I would appreciate your prayers over. And over all the boy things. There's a lot in front of me that is so so good. and Im so so thankful. I just want to be sure I'm following God's leading and not just what I want for myself. ya know?
anyhoo. love y'all. mean it.
Praying for guidance and discernment ❤
Ah! So glad you enjoyed it. Also, how much do I love you keeping some of those boy things to yourself. THE REAL TREASURE!
<3 You've got it, sweet Sarah.
Also, I'm with Jillian. Apple mimosa recipe, lady!
Definitely praying. And making apple mimosas this weekend. Yum.
You’ve been holding out on the apple mimosa secrets 😒 and of course will be praying!! 💕💕
Praying for you! (Side note: APPLE MIMOSAS?!?! Drool.)
THANK YOU. and YES. half and half regular apple cider (not hard!) and champagne. rimmed glass in honey, then cinnamon sugar. drink and then be an OH SO classy lady and lick the sugar off the rim!
Well I know what I'm having with my birthday brunch this weekend. Thanks Sarah!
well this just sounds like the best ever!
Oops! I see it here. :) Thank you.
Good morning eveyrone!
I've been a voyeur and not commenter the last few weeks (as far as my own treasures).
If I'm honest with myself, reading your stories/treasures/etc. has been a nice escape from my own reality.
Treasures:
1. Last Friday night I went to a friend's 40'th gathering. There were five of us ladies at a brewery with a park right beside it. We grabbed a picnic table, drank beer and connected for three hours on a beautiful fall evening. It was everything my soul needed.
2. I'm on the worship team on my church and while we are still recording our services and doing internet church, we are to a point where the band is getting together to pre-record all together (read: 5-6 people). Making music with my friends is a highlight of my month and I'm so grateful.
3. This thread really is a delight of my week. True story.
I don't really have any internet treasures to share. If I'm honest, I've tried to be offline more this week, b/c the week has felt heavy. I'm someone who prefers peace between my people, and I'm feeling the weight of the massive divide in our country right now. I'm hearing words like "civil war" and starting to have a massive dread of election day. I see people I love using the word pandemic in quotes, and others I love who won't let me touch them if they have gone to the dentist that day. The vast disparities and our in(ability? efficiency?) to discuss and work together for solutions feels like its ripping us apart. And I don't say lightly in regard to the ease with which workable compromises and solutions can be forged.
It's just...a lot. And at the end of the day, isn't what we all want for someone to like us just the way we are? Thank you, Fred Rogers. Thank you, Dana's Upper School Head. Thank you, Erin.
See? This is why I don't post much these days. All the deep thoughts and none of the laughs. *shrugs shoulders* Oh well. Here we are.
In other news, I want Lizzo's confidence. I've got the body, but not the confidence. Get. It. Girl!
We, your internet gang is here for you!
This is totally beside the serious points but let’s chat about Lizzo, yes?
I think she’s gotten to where she is because she practices confidence and acceptance. She works haaaaard to love her body and I’m on the track myself and somedays I loathe my stretch marks and think I need to be covered up, other days I delight in every dang inch of the thing.
Start practicing and you’ll have that confidence.
See I’m okay with stretch marks, my saggy mamma boobs but I’ve for sure gained weight this year. I don’t know how much because I do not own a square of shame aka a scale. But I feel uncomfortable in my skin. I just want to be wherever and what ever weight I feel my best. I just don’t know how to get there. 🤎
Yes. I don't even think I've gained *that* much but my clothes are uncomfortable and I feel bad. This comment really resonates. I know I should exercize more but the mental heaviness I feel like I'm always carrying with me makes it so hard.
I am in that exact same place too, Erin. 🙏🏻
I feel that.
Danielle, I am so happy you got those treasures this week. They sound absolutely wonderful and I'm glad you got to make music and connect with your friends! 🤗
If you figure out where one can get Lizzo's confidence, please let me know! Are there online classes? I'd pay for that.
Don't. I. Wish!!!!
It is so hard to find the treasures these days. I often vascillate between "meh" and absolute panic. It's a real fun ride, but at least we're all on it together? ❤️
I love the deep thoughts too!! so glad there have been some lovely offline treasures (arguably the more important category), and just start working on that confidence! God made you as you are, and He loves you as you are.
The feelings of that heavy.....YES that was me. And I picked a fight with the hussssband about how no matter who wins the election his middle-aged straight white maleness is gonna be okay.....yes it was a petty argument to have but I was having Mel-Splain to him that while yes he has 'worked' for all he has, he has never had to worry about rights and offerings not just being there. Like does his employer sanction options for birth control for him if they pick a certain health care package? Like when he has made large financial purchases no one has been like "so we can add your wife to this" (because when I bought a car in the 2000s I was asked to add my husband to the title and for financing and I lost my shisssssss on the salesperson, then he ran my credit (2x apparently) and came back to apologize as he didn't realize my INDEPENDENT score was so high. I explained that IN his mother's lifetime she couldn't get a credit card without either his dad signing off or she had to her HER dad to vouch for her.
Sorry
I ranted
But again. Like so much is going on.
And that cloud of anxiety-- heavy with storms -- it's there. IT'S A LOT.
So I get it friend
I SO get it.
So let's crank our Lizzo.
Let's dance
Dance ala Meredith and Cristina Yang.
We need that.
I frequently have to make myself not have this argument with my white, straight male partner. Also, 30 second dance parties save lives.
Well he made some comment about how some of the elements that RBG fought for don't really impact me or wont and I was all "until they are taken away if some powers that be were to get what they want!" -- and then it was OFF. I realized the Enneagram 8 needed to COME OUT and she did. And we did calm down after my initial firey burst. But I needed to get all that out. The fears I have as a women for women. The fears I have for my friends of color. The fears I have for my people in the LGBTQI+ community and of course my children. Yes I'm a mother of boys, but they need to speak up for anyone that wants their voice amplified too. We have to be willing to be quiet and listen and learn but then SCREAM for those who don't feel comfortable in that role. I'm here to tell you. If you need a surrogate screamer. I am that. I will step up. I will confront. I can be scared as all get out in that millisecond before and after. BUT I WILL STAND IN THE STREET AND HOWL for my people. So yeah I explained to my husband of nearly 20 years, who has known me half my life that his existence has never had to be quantified and fought for. He hasn't necessarily had to ask for power (whatever that level is) or a place at the table. And 2020 has been showing that so many still have to....and to lose the ally that was RBG. Oh it SHOOK me.
Rant on, friend. B/c that's some CRAP.
We need channel Lizzo and walk our fine asses out the door of 2020.
Let's Boss Up and change our liiiiiives!
Can I vote myself off the island for the everyone typo in the first line?
#morecoffeeplease
I wrote 'thiefs' instead of 'thieves' last week and my editor heart just about gave out.
Teehee. Teeheeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
We don't police typos here, we only laugh together when they are unintentionally funny.
more coffee club and all the grace for typos in this thread!
I said Instragram......... *slides a mug your way*
Same, friend. Same. I went through Instagram a couple days ago and muted about 75% of the people I follow. Now it's only low-stakes knitting and woodworking. I also deleted my Facebook, npr, and bbc apps. I cannot deal with all the conflict and calls to action.
I'm taking a LOT of people off my feed. Anyone I have muted for 30 days more than once. I don't need them as friends. SO I have found facebook not as painful. But I have been off Twitter as that was the place that took too much work to curate. And my IG is so so safe.
I had to unfollow my mom. I go look maybe once a week, because FB is where she shares ALL family news, asking for prayer. smh
Girl, me too! I deleted messenger too. Because my husbands mom and my mom will send some shiz there if we don’t like or comment on their posts!
Oh ooooof See, that is a LOT
I am SO CLOSE to deleting FB. My church uses it for a few things, and that's the only reason I hold on.
This year I’ve been using FB for very limited (targeted) purposes: photos of my grandniece and grandnephew, a couple specific groups for Amazon blessings and journaling, and (most importantly) sharing all the online reading that directly contradicts and *targets* the pro-T*rump rhetoric of family members.
I don’t scroll the feed, and I only respond to dissents on my own posts. It’s actually very freeing to use drive-by spitefulness to interrupt their feeds. 😈 Since none are willing to have actual *conversations* about opposing views, I decided this drastic measure at least permeates their sad little bubbles.
Smart!!!
I’m my job wasn’t social media that involved running other peoples Facebook I’d peace out fo sho!
Same! If I didn't have to rely on FB for church stuff there would be a me-shaped hole in the exit door! #dumpsterfire
Yes ladies!!! Facebook used to have a groups app and that was just what I needed, but then they got rid of it :( I know there is a "pages" app but not as helpful for my uses. Also muting/ unfollowing/ and starring certain friends helped!!!
Your deep thoughts just as welcome here as are your laughs when they are available to you. Circling you in a virtual hug <3
Thank you!!!
Hugs to you, friend. Sometimes offline is a good thing. I'm so glad you get to make music with others right now. I was in the worship band at our church in NC and miss it so much sometimes it makes my heart ache.
*chin quiver. tingly nose as one single moisture droplet forms in my right eyeball.
Thank you. Same. I swear I'm gonna get to hug you, Mel and Rebecka irl one day...
I'll be there!
YESSSSS The hugs must haaapppeeeenn!
Erin,
You brought A WORD on faith adjacent this week! Thank you so much for that - it was healing. I have listened multiple times, and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it. All the blessings to you for how you handled that topic with grace, nuance, and truth.
Happy Friday, friends! We made it!
Weekly treasures:
- Me, listening to Hamilton on my afternoon walks: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CFCJjJwjQO3/?igshid=155zazqpnq5w9
- The Dear Evan Hansen sound track - specifically You will be Found.
- Every Mile Mattered by Nichole Nordeman - I rediscovered this album on Sunday and have been listening all week. I am forever amazed by her songwriting. "Dear Me" helped with the reckoning I felt in my faith and beliefs years ago, and it feels just as helpful and hopeful today.
- Checklists - that's it, that's the treasure. I was already a BIG fan of checklists, but they are saving my life (and sanity) in hybrid teaching.
- Trader Joe's sunflower butter cups - As a person with an allergy to peanuts and almonds who also happens to prefer Reese's over any other candy, these are a blessing.
Turds from this week:
- Parents have started protesting and demanding five days face to face, which I get. This hybrid thing is HARD and after this is over I would never like to do it again. However, I'm not ready to have that many kids in the building when I was provided 2 masks and a bottle of sanitizer as my only defense. We're supposedly fogging every night too. I know we're all doing the best we can, but I am starting to feel really neglected even though I am supposedly a "hero". All that to say, just pray for the teachers in your life, check in on them, and give them grace. We, as teachers, talk about doing that for our students, but it feels like we're hardly getting any in return.
Sorry, I feel like that got really glum for a second - it's just been rolling around in my head all week. Thank you all for being the kind of community where I knew I could bring feeling and drop it.
I can't wait to read all of your treasures!
That Hamilton video is me in all the places: the car, on walks with my dog, in Target.
I've been listening to Evan Hansen recently too, even though I've never seen it. I really love Anybody Got a Map as a clueless mom and Waving Through a Window
Yes! Sometimes I just need to belt out Waving Through a Window
Dear Evan Hansen was one of my lifelines this week, too. What a gift that soundtrack is.
We don't deserve teachers. Hey Bethany, will you email me? I have a question for you. hello@erinhmoon.com ❤️
Nichole Nordeman wrote the soundtrack to a decade of my life. Mercy.
In other news, you get to be where you're at and be heard. Wishing I had a force field to offer you to protect you and all the kiddos.
I loved her years ago, but it's been reaching a new found depth after that album. You're Here reduced me to a puddle of tears Sunday evening. Thank you! I wish you did too :) haha!
Good Morning, Lil Swipes!
It's been a bit because...
1. Last week as my husband went out of town (see below), so naturally my car started acting up. Found out the AC motor was messed up. For $350 they diagnosed the problem to be....A DEAD RAT IN THE AC MOTOR. Y'all. I was NOT OKAY. Well, they tried to clean and salvage the motor but it was still making noise so I had to take it back with my Father-in-Law who insisted they fix it without recharging labor because we were not aware they thought that noise was "okay"...at $700, I think I was aiding and abetting the most expensive rat this side of the Mississippi. Not what I'd choose to spend that money on, but the car is fixed and a rat-free zone (I hope he had no friends), so I'll take it!
2. My husband is in the mountains of Colorado for 13 days without cell phone reception leaving me alone with a 3yo that decided to stop sleeping at night! I can't wait until he returns to learn that he is on overnight duty! (Who wants to bet the 3yo starts sleeping when that happens?)
3. (cue BIG NERVOUS energy) The IUI worked! I haven't told many souls because of my history of miscarriage, so I'm currently a giant bag of nausea and nervous energy. Thoughts and prayers for peace and a healthy babe are SO SO encouraged. Congrats to you all, you know before most of my family and friends! LOL (I did get to tell my husband through a quick spotty facetime call, so at least the father now knows!)
Other than that (HA!), nothing much is going on...except I feel like I am on the verge of an impending mom meltdown...which is why a small girls weekend in Branson today is my personal salvation. I'm just hoping to eat, read, and take lots of naps. :)
TikTok Treasures for the last few weeks (they've either made me laugh or cry uncontrollably--there is no in between anymore.)
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUPACkv/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUPaCDe/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUPDXph/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUPBuCt/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUPu3C5/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUPHa3Y/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUPyQMc/
EDIT: As I was writing this in the office at my computer I heard a wet noise...like water hitting the concrete floor. What did I find in my living room? My potty-trained 3 year old urinating in the house like an animal. RIGHT NEXT TO THE BATHROOM. When asked why he did that, he did a great job diverting my attention:
Peeing Person: "Autumn did it once."
Mad Mama: "but she is a dog and you are not!"
Peeing Person: "Nope, I a little boy who pees in the house."
Mad Mama: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.
T-Minus 5 hours until girl's weekend. Will I make it?
Congrats! I feel so honored that we know before family and friends. We really do have a special little community here.
Congratulations!
Oh woo hoo! New babies are the best, remember that during the yucky first trimester. Praying!!
OMG yay IUI working!!!!
Ok also those were some stellar TikToks. As a twin mom I love twin reveals and also the firewood one was HILAIR.
Did I mention that my progesterone level was 51 and after googling and bullying the nurse, she admitted that COULD be a sign of twins? 😬
What was your experience with that? LOL
Ummm welllll my experience was we were not doing fertility treatments, so I didn’t have early blood tests, and I didn’t know it was twins until our anatomy scan 😆 it was our second pregnancy (besides our first miscarriage) and so I showed a bit earlier but chalked it up to a previously stretched belly. I had one ultrasound at 8 weeks and then not again until 20 weeks 😂 it was the most shocking and hilarious moment of my life!
Congrats! This is lovely news!
So exciting!!!! Congratulations and LOL at the tiktok where the moms / mothers-in-law don't believe the announcement.
Congratulations!!! Lots of prayers for peace and health!
And my nephew did that once when I woke him up for church. I told him to go potty, and he declined...only to pee in the kitchen 15 minutes later. When asked why he did that his response was, "You told me I needed to potty." Yeesh.
YAYs for the bebe!
And omg, seeeee that's a #boymom moment (Jamie Golden, please read this) - my older son did a similar thing PEEING INTO A HOUSEPLANT because his 4 year old self didn't see how that was any different from when his dad let him pee on a tree when they were at a park where the bathrooms were locked.
Thank you!!! Scary to put it out in the world but this is the safest space thanks to Erin Moon! <3
I mean..they were neither one wrong! Good logic, poor execution. I think I might have welcomed a house plant pee simply for less cleanup! :)
I love love love this safe space.
Well trust, I had to put that plant outside because I was disgusted wondering how many times he didn't get caught doing this HAHA.
Praying for the healthy pregnancy and a fun time on your girls’ weekend!
Thank you so much, friend!!! If I get naps and don't have to care for another human (besides the one currently renting a spot in my body) I will call it a win!! ;)
Congrats!! The nausea is not fun tho and neither is the peeing child but you are so close to girls weekend! You can do it!!
I am wearing the tacky motion sickness bands and doing my best to eat a little at a time! Ha!
So close....I can FEEL it.
😂 I wore those religiously even tho I didn't think they actually helped. The placebo effect is real! Good luck mama!
congratulations!!! praying for a healthy pregnancy!! <3
Thank you so much, Sarah!
Oh YAY! Congratulations! All the T's and P's for sure!
Thank you so much!
My son is 14 months and I am just waiting for those days (insert eyeroll). That conversation though, ha ha ha.
And congrats!!! I'm glad the IUI did it's thing. We were considering that as a next step when we were having a hard time conceiving.
You will be there so soon. Hahah. Best wishes!
It was scary and it still is, but I am super hopeful. Infertility is tough! Thank you for the congrats!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!! (Which, ironically tried to autocorrect to something involving rats 😂) So happy to be able to celebrate with you. Praying for a pregnancy that is full of much joy and peace.
Also- I’m laughing so hard at your conversation with your son 😂
CON-RAT-ULATIONS? I'll take it! Ha!!!
Thank you so much for the prayers!
You'll make it! Big hugs. (and prayers)
Dan Levy in “The Great Canadian Bake-Off” is magical. We have two seasons befor the Americans find Schitt’s Creek and he is too famous. Fun fact, Schott’s Creek started on the Canadian version of PBS (it’s called CBC). It also gave you Heartland.
I'm currently watching Heartland! Came up on my suggested feed, which I usually ignore. However, I thought I remembered someone mentioning it on here so I tried a couple of episodes. It's just the teen angst catharsis I need. Lol
Nope. Can’t do Mr. Rogers right now. I need to not dissolve into a puddle of tears today. That was yesterday.
Same, like its too much kindness and comfort and I will lose it at the office and there is no crying in baseball
Just purchased comfortable words!! Can’t wait.
Been loving the Daily podcast. Especially the RBG part 1 & II. So so good.
Social media things that made me quiet laugh with a double chin at my phone:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CFhouOGBMP8/?igshid=gqx04u66y61m
https://www.instagram.com/p/CFc6fI_pW1t/?igshid=13wa00hg90jws
https://twitter.com/dustinkcouch/status/1308935281798774784?s=21
https://twitter.com/kkdumez/status/1308195819359817729?s=21
https://twitter.com/httb_4/status/1308847475126665217?s=21
Love you LS’s.
I am aggressively committed to The Daily even when I fall behind on all other podcasts
The couple selfies 😂
The replies to that one are amazing. I want to have a good wrong number text convo!
that waffle bath made me want to both partake and laugh out loud! :D
Hello friends, everything going on in the world has me feeling so weary and frankly scared about the future. This week, I feel like I’ve just been in survival mode and retreating into the basics of self-care to avoid complete overwhelm and shut-down. Here’s what’s been helping:
- Ben and Jerry’s Glampfire Trail Mix ice cream (I think it’s a Target exclusive)
- This new Olay body wash. My skin has never been softer https://www.target.com/p/olay-premium-body-wash-vitamin-c-17-9-fl-oz/-/A-76618360
- rewatching The Mindy Project on Hulu
- ordering a 12 pack of Annie’s organic Mac and cheese from Costco on sale for $11 (I think the sale goes til Sunday for any fellow Costco members)
That’s all I have for this week. I hope both y’all’s and my weekend are uplifting in any way possible
Amen to all of this (although I haven't had Glampfire. I will be tracking this down.) My friend and fellow anxious person and I are rewatching Gilmore Girls, separate but together. Stars Hollow is so deliciously removed from everything that is happening right now.
I can relate to this on a cellular level. The weariness, borderline fear (which I then feel guilty for b/c I'm a faith person). It's not complicated here at all...
Thank you for the mac and cheese intel, because I'm convinced it is a gift straight from Jesus.
I’m very grateful to live in a world where there is “healthy” mac and cheese
wow, dropping the food knowledge in here! Glampfire trail mix ice cream sounds AMAZING. and The Mindy Project is balm for any soul. if you still need some Mindy, recommend the Four Weddings and a Funeral miniseries.
Yes!! I actually just rewatched Four Weddings a few weeks ago. Basically anything Mindy Kaling is appropriate for right now
Champions and Never Have I Ever were also good!
Sigh. I feel like I come here and I’m a downer but honestly things are hard right now. It’s been a soul weary week not just with personal thing but with RGB’s death and the Breonna Taylor news.
I really just wanted to ask if you would pray for my Mom and Aunt Sharon and her family. My aunt was diagnosed with brain cancer last week and the prognosis is not good. She has been with her since two days after the diagnosis (she lives in South GA we live in the North) and my mom is not handling it well. When she is with her she is strong but when she goes back to her house for the night she is not handling it well and I’m not sure how things will be in the coming weeks as she deteriorates. They are extremely close. My mom also feels torn because my brother and I both have medical issues going on and she feels the need to be here too.
Our heart are heavy but we are clinging to hope.
I did send my 10 year old niece, Toccoa, some masks with a soccer ball on them from Etsy and she called to let me know they were the best mask ever and so soft and comfortable. So you know. I apparently am a good mask buyer. 🤷🏻♀️
Oh and hello duh best thing my partner and I celebrated 7 years of marriage Monday. His mom bought us take out from Texas Roadhouse which I had been wanting so much (I miss restaurants y’all!) and we just hung out and talked about all the amazing things we have done in 7 years. And we talked about our furbaby a lot. We think hers the cutest. 🤣
Erin you share gold with the gifs and cuteness. I must get back on the Shitts Creek train. We were watching it early in quarantine but the first season is a little tough. I’ve been told get through it and it really starts to hit its stride. It is funny as heck though.
I love forward to reading your treasures and all the beauty in your lives. 💜💜
Sending love and prayers for your mama and your family in general.
I so relate to feeling like a downer. That’s definitely been me for a few weeks now. I will pray for your aunt. Sometimes things are just hard and it’s okay to say so. ❤️
Congratulations on being a good mask buyer! 😉 And even bigger congratulations on the anniversary!!!
I really relate to that feeling of being a downer, some weeks I don't post because I feel like everything is just too heavy. Especially when you're dealing with chronic health stuff that never really changes, it just continues to be a turd week after week. I have never ever thought that you were a downer though and I appreciate your honesty! One of the best things about this place is that we can share the bad as well as the good.
I'll be praying for you, your mom, your aunt and your whole family. ❤
Hugs to you and your family Christy! And congrats on the anniversary!
lots of prayers, my friend! keep clinging to that hope, the only way we can put one foot in front of the other. Loved your sweet treasures as well!
Christy, I totally get feeling Debbie Downer in this space of joy. I never know what to post because it’s hard to recall the few moments of lightness while in the Fog of Doom. I know there’s light (and Light) but recalling it on demand is extremely challenging (and I’m failing at it).
I appreciate your honesty and hope you/we can remain in touch with the good things in the weeks while shoveling through the poop.
[That was metaphor heavy. Sheesh.]
Dana, I appreciate the gratitude-splaining, actually. I never dove into the practice because, honestly, I know from Whom joy comes, and I’d never struggled with remembering my blessings. But THIS YEAR. 😖 This year (as with others) I’ve found myself buried in a stupor — which became so much MORE as I got truly interested in politics and following the news — and I’ve realized that I have unresolved/unexplored feelings from the past 4 years of mourning my dad and helping my mom. Only in the past month have I understood that I’m just not addressing it. I’m pushing through the muck without giving it much thought, and I’ve been fueling the numbness with dumpster fire stories. It’s not that I don’t have good in my life, but that I’m moving past it too quickly.
So... THANK YOU for the reminder. Thank you for the book link. I love journaling, but I’ve been unwilling to tap the emotional keg this year (fear of my Fourness taking over the analytical Five in me). Perhaps a daily list will help me process some of “all this.” [Trying to get a therapy referral, too, since I know it’s needed now.]
Appreciate your suggestion! ❤️
You’ve convinced me to start a list in Notes, and I’m going to try the gratitude listing again. So, your work here is done! 🙌🏻 (kidding. I’m waaaaay in progress)
I have so many “plans” to work on myself and ten other projects. I just have to DO them. These years have stolen all motivation. 😩
Happy Friday!
Ok, children dressed up as the Rose family is now my favorite. 😍
I've spent the week under a blanket watching Netflix. I'm so sick of being sick but at least Derry Girls and Queer Eye were great company. Thanks for your recs last week! I also loved getting to watch The Great British Bake Off again and Matt Lucas describing different types of cake is my kind of ASMR...
This Twitter thread of Enneagram types as lyrics from Never Gonna Give You Up made me giggle. https://twitter.com/j_winn11/status/1306772434473934849
The finalists of this year's Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards have been announced. Tag yourself. I'm the faceplanting baby elephant. https://www.bbcearth.com/blog/?article=prepare-for-a-wildlife-laugh
Take care, friends!
Love that twitter thread and those animals!
That Never Gonna Give You Up thread is gold! 😂
I didn't expect it to call me out but it did! 😂
Ooops, sorry...
In that case, you're welcome! 😉
I fear I've become the rude sea turtle, lol
You are not alone!
Lol. A friend posted the giraffes on my FB page earlier this week to say hi and see how I was doing.
That's perfect! I do love the giraffes.
The bear "hiding" behind the tree all the way 😂
Who are you hiding from?
Everyone fighting on the internet, Covid, my kids, myself, ... Can you tell I'm an Enneagram 9?
I have a strong 9 wing and I relate so much to this!
Internally, I’m the turtle. Externally, I’m also the face planting elephant 😂
"Internally, I'm the turtle" could be the title of my autobiography! 😂
I'm definitely the doofy bear waving to the camera. I hope you are feeling better so soon!
Thanks, friend!
Oh my goodness those animals photos are the best! I feel like the polar bear and I want to be the turtle to 2020!!
I hope we can be laughing seals next year!
Gotta add my kudos (please read that in Sophie Hudson’s voice) on the faith adjacent this week. And the please advise. Both Podcasts were major highlights of my week. And that last video. Mr. Rogers. Made me cry. We had a good week but I am plagued with girl time cramps that are taking me down for some weird reason and that little push was all I needed to full on cry. So thank you. (#notsarcasticfont) 😘
Oh my goodness. I have been dealing with the same!! So glad to hear that may be ‘normal’. Dr swears I am too young but I know I am going through the change. Physical soon so I can talk more with her about this crazy stuff going on.
Erin! Comfortable Together is like your birthday gift to me for scheduling it in that timeframe. So excited to participate and connect over that. Bookmarking those articles, especially the habits ones, to really pore over. We’ve been talking about the Faith Adjacent on a few corners of the internet, and getting introduced to Devi was the comfort and truth I didn’t know I so desperately needed. Went to listen to Where Do We Go From Here eps on singleness, and they were a balm to my soul. Can’t wait to listen to the rest!
Big treasures this week include catching up with some friends on the phone, false Florida fall, and being friends with the person who started the “vote him out” chant that has gone viral from the President visiting the Capitol to pay respects. Take that as a symbol of bravery, speak up, it can galvanize so many.
This D.L. Mayfield piece was so helpful to me - https://religionnews.com/2020/09/23/how-a-sean-feucht-worship-service-convinced-me-i-am-no-longer-an-evangelical/ . I agree with so much of her stance and am sickened at the hypocrisy. My church is meeting after weeks of virtual church services, but masks are required, physical distancing outlined and requested, and live streaming of the service. I am really having a hard time reconciling people who want to have church without masks but are yelling about BLM protests.
For those who love High School Musical, rock, and seeing 30 Rock B cast in other projects, may I suggest Julie and the Phantoms on Netflix. It is Kenny Ortega with an unlimited budget, and BOY do I love it. It has rock stars, jazz club numbers, soulful piano, the works! The beginning of episode 4 is a classic “sing and dance the halls of school dream montage”. Enjoy!!
I also live for Demi Adejuyigbe’s September 21 videos, and this year’s was as wonderful as expected - https://youtu.be/_zzEDrYTkkg
(2016 - https://youtu.be/kPwG6L73-VU, 2017 - https://youtu.be/fPpUYXZb2AA, 2018 - https://youtu.be/CG7YHFT4hjw, and 2019 - https://youtu.be/_hpU6UEq8hA)
And finally, this week’s TikTok Roundup
Trader Joe’s mini tale of a mood - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJD53oep/
Kath has really taken it to the next level in her recorder performances - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJD5Tq92/
A little bit paw-lexis - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJDH2h81/
I’d trust this human with my dog - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJDqmBeL/
“Thank you for your question” - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJDqs7V3/
This week’s WAP remix (I should be tired of these BUT I’M NOT) - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJDqtbyw/
The tight harmonies we all pray for - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJDb1MQ6/
If blog recipes were a conversation - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJDbRvoK/
Followup: the cat from last week started a band: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJDbYyen/
Hamilton in Kelly Kapoor quotes - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJDw667f/
Amelia Bedelia, such a wacky lady - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUYdLdx/
Shed shanty - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUY1gD2/
Say no to THIS - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUS5FwK/
Sibling bonding time - https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJUSyJry/
Thank you, Jillian, for all of this! Especially the D.L. Mayfield article. I love Jesus more than anything but have also been struggling with the white evangelical church structure. I love the church and don’t want to tear it down but I want to listen to the marginalized, grieve with them, and no longer ignore the hard topics. I appreciate your candidness on the topic.
Confession: I save your TikTok ministry post for last and go back to it when I have time.
It's Swipe dessert.
Those tight harmonies gave me FRISSON! Also the Kelly K quotes nad bacon rehearsals were *chefs kiss*
I was so embarrassed that Sean Fecht showed up here in Seattle and that D.L. Mayfield piece was also helpful. I've long gone to churches that are pretty progressive, but I don't think they jive with a lot of Christian communities and I'm tired of others thinking that my church is less holy/Christian.
Yes absolutely! I would love to see more unity amongst us with secondary doctrinal differences
Also, am considering dropping the tiktoks in a saveable archive for when you need a laugh - https://jilliankmf.substack.com/p/925-weekly-tiktok-roundup
Will probably add the rest this week!
THE MINISTRY OF TIKTOKS
AH! this is perfect. I need them in a cohesive spot! Thank you! Online ministry <3
I LOVE the trousdale music gals. I get chills listening to them everytime.
ALSO SHED SHANTY.
All the shanties/tight harmonies, truly my wish for the world.
Oh Jillian, I feel so known when you say " I am really having a hard time reconciling people who want to have church without masks but are yelling about BLM protests." Church just feels really dang hard right now. I am so thankful for this community that affirms the beliefs that have shifted and the reckoning I feel in me.
I can wait to watch your tik tok compilation - they've become a part of my Friday evening routine :)
Church does feel hard! i am grateful for my local community but some former church homes are really making me question the love your neighbor thing :| glad we can have these conversations. and i am SO glad! I'm thinking of compiling them so i can go back for a laugh when we need :)
Thank you for your ministry! Seriously, these are amazing. 😂
ahaha thank you my friend!
That Trader Joe’s tok is truth. 🤣. How cool to be friends with the chant starter. Mad respect. It was amazing. I was think of watching Julie and the Phantoms this weekend. It looks so cute. I have that and Enola Holmes on my to watch this weekend list.
Honestly you must watch Julie and the Phantoms - I have been listening to the soundtrack, and they are GREAT
Dana, you gotta let me know your favorite!
Morning y’all!
I went AND survived my Wassie’s funeral. It was heart breaking to see my Pappy ( we are a family full of weird nicknames) aka Uncle Allen so broken over the loss of his beloved. They had been together since their early teen years, married at 17 and 19, just celebrated their 54th anniversary. I’m genuinely concerned about what he will eat as I’ve never even seen him make toast. But his daughter I’m sure will take care of him. It was balm for my soul to see some family I hadn’t seen in such a long time. To be in there company and hug them, cry and laugh was jus so good.
Right before I left town we retired our 15 passenger van. It was my everyday ride and I had been driving some form of a 15 passenger van for the last 10 years. It was amazing but we are hauling less kids and I was able to downsize to a large suv. Y’all it’s so fancy! It answers the phone for me! I don’t want it to do that but I cannot figure out how to turn it off!!
We are feeling very desperate for a break and reset over here at Spatz mansion. We are trying to plan a trip during Halloween to the mountains. I love all the candy and fun of Halloween but it’s just so much. I’ve been know to give my kids a choice between costumes and trick or treating OR $20 each to spend in our local candy store. More often than not they pick candy store.
I started my new writing gig and my first two columns seemed to be hits so that was lovely.
If you are on the fence about doing the comfortable words, let me just say that I did the study last year pre- dumpster fire 2020 and it was such a lovely gift. Your heart, soul and mental health will benefit from this study. If money is a factor please DM me and I’ll do what I can to get you the study.
Much love to my favorite internet gang🤎🤎
I'm so sorry about your loss. What a hard time to deal with one more loss on top of all the other losses of this year. :( I totally agree about how funerals can sometimes feel like a positive experience, though. It's like a weird family reunion. I'm glad you got some time with family.
Thank you, too, for the encouragement about the Comfortable Words. I am on the fence just because I am not sure I want to add something else to my plate, but I also am REALLY craving community and peace right now, and I think your words convinced me to join. Thank you.
I promise the words from the comfortable words are so soothing. It is worth it!!
I'm so glad you got to be there. ❤️
I love the Halloween hack, but also love Halloween, so we'll see which side wins in our house :)
Great work on the columns!!!
My house has been all over the "lets just buy candy and EAT IT" my kids are totally cool with the lack of "halloween" especially since in MN it can be a real chilly night of walking outside.
I still remember trick-or-treating in the blizzard of 1991 because it was my last year of it and gosh darn it, I was going to wear my first awesome, store-bought pirate costume, dang it!
YESSSS If you don't have a blizzard of '91 story (if you are of a certain age from MN), you really should be denied your MN citizenship LOL
I need to try that Halloween hack. My daughter loves to dress up though (just in general), buy she also really, really likes candy. Congratulations on the new column!
The ones who want to dress up can at our house but they forfeit the candy store.
I am so glad to hear the funeral also provided some joy. I can't wait to read your articles!
I think I'd be afraid to go for a drive if my car answered the phone for me! 😉 I hope and pray your trip will give you rest and that much needed reset.
I want to turn it off because sometimes my car is really loud!! But I think the car is smarter than me.
Is this how the robot uprising starts?
100% so far everyone that has called while in the car has heard me yell “no, I don’t want to answer!!!!” Instead of hello. Whoops!
😂😂😂
https://gabnewsonline.com/erin-spatz-falling-for-decorating-p4214-205.htm
https://gabnewsonline.com/erin-spatz-the-joys-of-virtual-school-p4197-205.htm
Erin, I cackled at your remark about Abraham Lincoln’s third grade education - thank you for that!
Thank you!!
Erin, I’m so glad the funeral was a comfort. Praying for a good respite for you, and CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE COLUMNS
Uh. I need to put that candy store choice into action here. That is brilliant.
Also, is there somewhere we can find your columns?
I linked them above, if that doesn't work let me know!
brilliant!
As someone whose parents didn’t let her celebrate Halloween you’d think I’d be more pumped but it’s so much dang work! I swear it’s cheaper to do the candy store too!
I try to post the link on my Instagram but I can link them here if you’d like.
I cannot wait for the day when I’m done pushing swings!!
I almost got a crosstrek! I'm rather tall and felt like it was crowded for me, so I ended up in a Forester named Eunice.
Our car came to us with a name - my friend gave us their 1991 Honda Accord named Edith. We also sold her our old car, a 2004 Hyundai Elantra, which they names Neal. Now we're on board. We just got a new(to us) Odyssey and my husband sort of messed up the vanity license plate which was supposed to say CHALO (the Hindi word for "let's go!"), but it wound up saying CHALO NA ("Let's go, yeah?") but without the space. So now the van's name is Chalona.
If you don't name your car....I need to find out why not. So, wait for this truth bomb. I'm 43 and I've only owned --- TWO CARS --- one was my four-door Ford Escort that I got when I was 18 and drove it until I was in my late 20s named Homer. Then I got my Jeep Liberty (it was brand spanking new, like 13 miles on the odometer) and I'm still driving it! - she is just Libby. I am currently car shopping, but we are also house shopping so we'll see what comes next.
Our house is called Spatz Mansion. Its ironic since we work in non profit work so we'll never have a mansion! I feel pressure to name my new car now! How does one pick a vehicle name?
For me it was the fact Homer had automatic seatbelts ('Member them?) and like 8 out of 10 times I'd get smacked in the face, head, shoulder and I'd do the Homer Simpson "D'oh!" so voila it was Homer. I think you just have a moment with your car and it names itself. :)
I’ve not name my car but we’ve named the house.
Oh I’ve named all my cars! I had a keep Cherokee named Bessie, and mustang names Sally (I mean obviously), a Honda Pilot named Dottie, a blue Yukon named Cornelius (if you get this reference then we’re destined to be friends for life) and now I have a bee white Yukon named Pearl.
I had a beloved Buick Century named Bessie!
Happy Friday, everyone. My oldest told me on Monday afternoon, our co-op day "Mom, it feels like we went to co-op YESTERDAY," and the week continued to draaaaaag like that. But, there were some bright spots:
1. My eldest picked key lime pie for his family birthday celebration and my MIL made the best one I have ever tasted. Key Lime Pie is one of my favorites, and I will now be requesting this goodness from her for my family birthday celebrations forever and ever, amen.
2. I've been reading a lot this week, and one of the books I read, Rome of Fall by Chad Alan Gibbs, was super nostalgic and filled with 90s music references. This has caused me to fall down the Spotify playlist making rabbit hole, and remember some really good music I had forgotten about.
3. Also reading Kill the Spider by Carlos Whittaker and gah. I feel like someone finally understands my brain.
4. Faith Adjacent continues to be one of my favorite new additions to The Bible Binge, Erin. Thanks for creating such great content to listen to.
That's it for this week. Here's hoping your weekend is filled with more treasures than turds!
I love a good key lime pie and I haven't had one in ages! I love that he requested something other than cake - my little brother always requests pizza because he's a weirdo who doesn't like sweets.
Also, as a child of the 90's, I grew up listening to my 90's music and also my parents (lots of Third Eye Blind) and I have a playlist I cycle through regularly. So good.
I loved Rome of Fall! I keep wishing someone would make it in to a movie. Fun fact: I reached out to the author for an interview series I'm doing in my email newsletter, and he is really nice.
I kept picturing it as a movie, ala She's All That or something. That last scene in the gym would be some DARK comedy...
Totally! I told my husband that the vibe reminded me of a darker Mean Girls (there is that bus scene in Mean Girls)
*Whispers* I've never had Key Lime Pie. It sounds delicious though!
I highly recommend starting with a homemade one, if possible! It is summer in a pie to me.
I might try to make one myself one day.
Ohh. I think I have that book. I love, love, love 90’s reference and also went down a 90’s music rabbit hole on Spotify this week. It is the best music decade. My humble opinion of course.
I love me some Loswhit. (In a platonic brotherly sisterly way of course!) His candor on his social media made want to read his books. Kill the Spider was so good and Enter Wild his newest is a great follow up.
I went to a socially distanced birthday party last week where the person whose birthday it was, myself, and my husband were the only ones who could jam along with the 90s alternative Pandora station. It was bliss. Kids these days don’t know what they are missing. Haha.
I forgot how much great music the 90s brought us until I read Rome of Fall and went down the rabbit hole. So. Good.
Key lime pie is also one of MY favorites and a local ice cream place does a killer Key Lime Pie ice cream in the summer, and I am bummed it is no longer available to me. Adding your books to my TBR!
Our local ice cream place also does a Key Lime Pie flavor, complete with graham cracker crust mixed into the ice cream. So. Good.
Oh, Dana...I was reading it last night and totally thought of you and our emails last week!
First of all- I had no idea that the Great Canadian Baking Show existed, but is my google search correct? Are the first two seasons actually on Netflix?! If so, that’s jumping WAY up on my to-watch list.
Is anyone else watching Alone? My husband and I just finished season 2 and we are HOOKED. When we watch Survivor, my husband’s complaint is always that they don’t actually do much Surviving anymore, so the threat of starvation or animal attacks in Alone fills that need for him.
My biggest treasure this week is that we booked an evening away at a fancy inn for our 8th anniversary next month. Because our kids are young and only 7 months apart, our pool of babysitters is really small at this stage, and I am just abundantly thankful that my in-laws were so willing to let us get away for a weekend together.
I think you have to get a VPN to watch GCBS, which I'm not above doing!
Nap time update- I can’t find GCBS on Netflix 😫 I’m guessing there’s somewhere that it may live on YouTube, but I haven’t found it yet. Will keep you posted if I do!
The first season of Alone was amazing! We need to pick it back up again. Thanks for the reminder!
A fancy inn, that sounds lovely!
Thank you for doing the research going to add it to my Netflix queue now!! So glad you could book a getaway!!
Ditto!
Ahhh! So glad you got to book an anniversary getaway!
We also booked an evening away this week. It's so good to reconnect without the kids around!
I was unaware too but looks like I’ve got Friday night plans!!
My husband has a guys night so I was planning to watch Enola Holmes, but now I’m very conflicted!
My daughter loved Enola...it's on my list.
Enola is so on my list!
Good Morning! Nothing terrible this week, but nothing super great. Just kind of coasting along. I am exhausted though. I feel like I finally hit the wall after being on edge since March. In February my grandmother got very sick. It was unexpected but not. She had a genetic condition that caused the muscles in her throat to stop working, so she could no longer swallow. She passed away March 3. I feel fortunate that we were able to go home for the funeral because if it had been one week later, we would not have gone. It has been one long fraught, stressful edge since then and now that things have slowed at work I've had time to go slower and the exhaustion has just crept in. Or, I just have 10 minutes to recognize it.
In fun news - GBBS is back! Yay!
And my son continues to be a delight - https://www.instagram.com/p/CFX0x2BHFY8/
I am sorry for your loss and send prayers as you continue grieve. I'm also super excited about GBBS and agree that your son is a delight! TOUCHDOWN!
I'm so sorry about your grandmother and your exhaustion. Your son is adorable!
Your son IS a delight! Praying for comfort
Grief is tricky and it can be like waves the gently lap at you until suddenly it over takes you add in all the other stressors and oof. I hope you find rest soon in all the ways. Your son is a cutie!
Dana, she had Oculopharyngeal Muscular Dystrophy. Her dad had it. I'm pretty sure my mom has it but she is in denial about it.
Thank you! He is a JOY.
He is adorable!
I'm sorry about your grandmother. I hope this weekend you get windows of rest.
I'm feeling big feels for you right now. ❤️
happy birthday! a birthday toast to your incredible parents who loved each other and loved you so well. <3
Happy birthday week, sweet and sassy Lilly. Hugs to you as you do this hard thing this weekend. Grace, peace and comfort for your heart.
Your words about the house of memories....oof. So relatable. I hope the items you take give you all the feelings you need. The ones I kept from my mom were so random. Pyrex mixing bowls. 70s/80s jewelry she never seemed to wear but had in jewelry boxes. A couple dresses. I was on a search for one of her specific dresses but when she got diagnosed with ALS she gave away a bulk of her closet and it included one dress I always equated with her going out to dance and feel 'together' -- I wanted it so badly and would have tailored it to fit me. So I am on a personal quest to find a similar dress to it. I've even looked at a goodwill near her after she passed away hoping to find it again. No avail. So I am so glad you are getting this time to really inventory what you want to keep for your own feelings.
Listen.... (cue my dark dark humor) I have already resigned myself that I will pass away from heating things in plastic cancer.....
OMG LILY!!! my mom had that Tupperware bowl! Is it the super super big one? It was our Chex Mix or Puppy Chow bowl!
Much love to you, Lily. (Also, that recipe tiktok was truly a treasure 😂)
Will be praying all weekend for comfort and the right moments to grieve, Lily. and HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY <3
And 😂😂😂😂 at both tiktoks, the blog really gets me
Wishing you strength and comfort as you work through the house details. ❤️ And thank you for the the TikTok links. Those recipe posts! Every. Single. Time. 😴
Oh Lily. I will be thinking of you. I hope it brings closure and helps you say goodbye. Just think of all the beautiful memories you had there and you are releasing it for another family to have the same thing. Your family legacy allowing another family to have their legacy. Sending hugs to you. And Happy Birthday! 🥳
From a former goth child who lived in hot topic, she will come out on the other side. Although I do still attend the church of Doc Martin and thick eyeliner.
Sometimes on Friday afternoons, I put a beer in a mug and virtually tutor high school children about the ACT. In fact, I might do this today. No shame. No judgment. Cheers to all.
Hooray for children who bake and lemon meringue pie and thank you for sharing the meditation. I may need to add that to my repertoire for both friends and foe. We are enjoying cooler temps here too (well cool for Texas). I fully anticipate at least one more bought of warm weather before Fall settles in for real...we like to refer to this as First Fake Fall.
I like that meditation practice. I might need to start it with some of those that irk me... and those I love as well.
I hope you have a lovely weekend with friend. hold on to that!
Me too!
May you too be happy, healthy and have peace in your heart, Dana. And I hope the party will be wonderful with lots of laughter. We already know the food is going to be great.
I am excited for you and your surprise birthday party; I hope it is a delight! Thank you for that meditation, I will be putting it into practice. Bless you for reporting covid protocol data with memes and gifs. I would love to be in one of those meetings :)
Apple pie is my favorite! What a nice surprise to come home to. Enjoy the birthday party! And I think you are spot on about holding loved ones close and building each other up.
For the miracle of apple pies baked by bebe Marilyn Mansons, oh Lord, we give thanks.
In the house of Hot Topic we pray.....
Bahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
I just laughed sooo hard out loud. Brilliant.
Hope the party is a freaking delight and your heart is full of love and goodness after the connection and food.
Dana, thank you for working so hard for your school faculty. Hoping they just had a collective rough week (I know I did) but I am buffeted by the cheer to hang in there till I can take a break. The birthday party sounds lovely, as does the meditation practice!
Caste is on my list but I’m working my way thru The Warmth of Other Suns, which is also long but should also be required reading
Warmth of Other Suns. YES. That was my first read in my unlearning journey.
It is SO good
I’m 50% through OTHER SUNS and I’ve had to return to the librar’s waiting list twice already. I’ve highlighted practically every chapter and let it marinate several days in between readings (hence, the slow progress). It’s not that I wasn’t aware of this history (lived in Texas my whole life), but that I haven’t put enough work into learning the stories. It’s just an excellent resource.
Exactly! I’ve had the same library experience and just need to BUY IT
That meditation practice is beautiful and something my heart needed this morning. Thank you for sharing it.
I feel the frustrations about the temps. Where'd my fall go?? Come back! Also, all those pies sound delicious.
Thank-you for sharing that meditation. I need to put that into practice when I am feeling rage-y...
What a beautiful meditation. Thank you for sharing!
Also- that menu sounds delicious. Can some Lil Swipes crash the surprise? 😬
Dana, it sounds like such a lovely week overall. We have cooler temps as well, as cool as one can have for living at the beach. I drained the pink pool to put up for next year- it immediately got hotter. Rude. I will have practice that mediation. It sounds so good for ones soul.🤎
Texas year round. 🤬
Me too. Well, not a mole, but the cold and dark. When weather drops to the 70s, I emerge from my air-conditioned igloo and do a Mary Tyler Moore turn with outstretched arms, then return to the house and open all the windows till winter arrives. In summer I have no energy and a grumpiness, but with the cool and the cold I come back to life until 6-8 weeks after the groundhog sees its shadow. It’s a very non-Texas life, for sure, but I’ve never left because of nieces and nephews and parents. Lately, with my mom’s declining health, I’ve realized I’m going to finally attempt relocation to New England when she’s no longer with us. It seems the perfect time and I want to live somewhere with *seasons*.
In the same day!!!
That is our Texas “winters.”
TRUTH!
The other day it was hoodie and socks in the morning, tank top and flip flops in the afternoon. Like COME ONNNNN!