No idea why the body of the newsletter didn’t publish, but alas! Feels on brand for 2021, yes? No formal newsletter today, but wanted everyone to have a place to share goods and bads, treasures and turds, should you need/want it. Merry Christmas, my friends. Hope you have a very gentle and kind holiday.❤️
Every Christmas Eve for the past few years I seem to wake up sometime in the night just feeling incredibly sad. Last year I woke up crying (and I rarely cry) because I missed the 2 babies we lost to miscarriage 7 years ago. I just kept saying to my husband "They should be here with us".
It makes no sense. This year was no different. I wonder why this happens to me consistently, but I'm thinking about if I can just use these experience to create some kind of ritual of grief that might actually help me somehow. Anyone else experience weird Christmas Eve sadness?
I'm so sorry for your losses, Laura. I lost a baby 2 years ago and I always seem to grieve it at the most unexpected times. I find Christmas/Christmas Eve all very emotional, especially now as a mom. Maybe there is something tied up in it for you. I hope you find that release.
I’ll share the most beautiful moment in my Christmas Eve service. One of the singers is native and she sang the first verse of Silent Night in the Crow (Apsaalooke) language while we lit our candles. It was incredibly moving, as my grandpa was Apsaalooke, too.
For some reason, I’m wide awake at 5 am, long before my five year old. I can’t quit thinking of our Christmas Eve services. I sang (a special) of Oh Holy Night. Looking around the room as I sang, I saw families who have endured so much. Death, divorce, sickness, job loss. But oh the hope! A thrill of hope. And man did the line “the weary world rejoices” land differently this year. Who doesn’t feel weary? The line about “truly he taught us to love one another. His law is love and his gospel is peace.” I don’t (politically or theologically) agree with everyone there, but I’m so thankful to love them and be loved by them. And so thankful Jesus paves the way for “we are different, but I love you.” Just know friends, if you feel weary, there is hope. Always hope.
Merry Christmas swipes!! I spent the day yesterday dealing with my 4-year-old whining about the Nerf gun I didn't buy at Walgreens, all while his stack of gifts for Christmas was sitting in the next room. Truly all I want for Christmas this year is sleep. So here's hoping I can get some quality naps in over the next week while my husband is off work. Praying each of your homes are joy-filled and peaceful.
Merry Christmas everyone!! Braved church tonight. I have major Covid anxiety. We sat in the balcony and wore masks. They started the service with a fun ‘I want a hippopotamus for Christmas’ song and a person in a hippo suit and it really felt like love to me. My favorite non-Jesus Christmas tune. As always ended with silent night and as always I held back tears. The weary world rejoices! Oh how I feel that. Praying you all have the happiest, healthiest Christmas you can muster!!
Merry Christmas everyone. I was just reflecting on last Christmas, which held so much grief and despair for me. I had been locked down alone in a different country than the rest of my family for 8 months and was finally crashing back into a very different America at the end of 2021 with my family. I broke down, pretty inconsolable, talking about O Come O Come Emmanuel around the Christmas tree.
I know 2021 has been a hard year for so many of us, but for me it’s also been a time of healing and being loved and seeing God show up in the people around me because I had nothing left to give. I want to mourn with all of you over the grief of this year. But I also want to share that God has brought quiet joy where I wasn’t expecting it. My mourning isn’t quite dancing, but at least it can get off the couch. God is still showing up. May your Christmas be gentle and kind, friends.
We were sick on Thanksgiving and had to miss the big family gathering.
Now we’re sick on Christmas and going to miss the smaller family gathering.
Plus we haven’t been to my parents in the next state over for months and months.
It’s my first year as a teacher, so my first year having a break like my kids and it’s all just been spent in bed. My house is a wreck, my children are getting the barest dregs of attention and care, and opening presents is likely me opening the Amazon box and letting them go wild.
It’s hard to see the beauty in that. I know it’s there, it’s just a lot harder to excavate.
It feels hard because it is hard. I hope you can remember “If it isn’t a good time, it’s a good story.” You will laugh about it with your kids someday. We laugh all the time with our grown kids about blown plans and misadventures.
I normally don’t go to the comments but since there was no email body I thought “Hmmmm, maybe I’ll check it out!” Hello! I am about to do some cleaning and gift wrapping ahead of what I hope will be a mellow holiday this year. I want to share a lovely wish I just read from Austin Channing Brown: “I deeply hope that you will find the small important things that fill you up…”. Thank you Erin for being a “filler upper” in my inbox, whether that is with your trademark mix of laughter, insight, and thought provoking or whether that is providing a space like this to engage. Merry Christmas everyone! Even if this holiday does not look like what you hoped or expected, I pray that “small important things” will still do their good work in your hearts.
Merry Christmas swipes! 🎄 I'd covet your prayers this weekend, if you get a moment. I am preaching at my church for the first time this Sunday! I've preached before, but never at a church, from the pulpit - and I am really feeling the weight of that responsibility. However, it is only going to be a 10 minute homily (vert short sermon), and I attend a pretty small church (and it's the day after Christmas), so that takes some of the pressure off. I feel both confident and excited, and like I want to puke a little bit. 😂 Anyway, I would so appreciate prayers that it would go well, and I would not just say what I want to say, but I would listen to Holy Spirit's quiet direction here.
Okay, and one treasure this morning: I am writing this from a cute boutique hotel! We are visiting my family in San Diego (where I grew up), and we usually stay with family, so I've never stayed in a hotel here before! But it's just one night (tomorrow my husband and I spend Christmas Day by ourselves, my favorite tradition), so we decided to protect my inner peace and splurge. ☺️
And lastly, I am reading A Christmas Carol for the first time and can't help but play A Muppet Christmas Carol in my head while I read. 😂
I’m working today at the childrens ER. We had an awesome toy donation from Christian rapper, Brinson (@godchaserz) and the kids are loving all the legos, lol dolls, Barbie’s, cars etc. at least if I can’t be with my family I can bring some joy to a rotten time.
Thanks for being there for the kids. My husband is a first responder, so I know how hard it is to spend your holiday away from family. Glad there’s joy at the hospital, for them and for you.
Merry Christmas! Or, if you prefer, Meh-ry Christmas. Holidays can be tough, y'all. If you're not feeling it this year, don't feel like you need to fake it here of all places.
I gave my husband the responsibility of figuring out where and how to hang the family stockings this year (we changed our space around so last year's arrangement doesn't work), and he has opted to hang them on the wall with command hooks. So I didn't have to deal with it - hooray me for delegating! - but now we've got this distinct dorm-room vibe that I wasn't really anticipating. Oh well. It's just for a day or two.
Merry Christmas, y’all!!! We are scooching across the finish line. Realized last night the roll of wrapping paper I have is not going to cover (😉) all the gifts we have to wrap. Bless my husband who braved Walmart this morning to get more. We save our most favorite Christmas move for viewing tonight and watch it all day tomorrow. A Christmas Story is out favorite and we keep the TBS tradition alive here at our house with 24 hours of it! I love it so much!
Worked retail yesterday for the first time since college and it was actually fun. I’m working at my town’s new independent bookstore, Downtown Books. The owner is a delight and has trusted me with curating the fiction. We had a blast yesterday wrapping, selling, chatting up customers, visiting old friends and making new ones. We have laughed and laughed. It was a blast!
Hope everyone has a great Christmas tomorrow! Enjoy the moment and don’t worry about the mess. I cannot wait to see my children’s faces in the morning. It’s the best. And, yes, I bought Santa gifts for my dogs. And yes, they have their own stockings with their names on them. That’s normal, right?!
That job sounds wonderful - do you feel a bit like Kathleen Kelly?! There's something magical about the smell of book stores. I'm not sure there's a better place to be at Christmastime!
Merry Christmas!! Long time stalker, first time commenter!
Got my booster yesterday. Take that, Omicron. Nothing like a sore arm to wake you up on Christmas Eve.
Just fully realized that I need an extra stream of income if I'm going to be able to afford presents, cat food, insurance, and a hair cut. Why is that last one so expensive?! Please feel free to spam me with any of your ideas for this graphic designing church secretary.
I wonder if you could freelance for other churches in your area? Or could you do "tech support" for older people in your congregation? Trying to think of things that dovetail with your current job. (I have also been a graphic designing church secretary, and I feel your income pain!)
Those are great suggestions! Thankfully my church has given me a 5% raise for the coming year, but it doesn't quite make up for the increase in insurance! I managed to get it quite low last year, which I knew wouldn't last long!
CW: Pregnancy Loss
Every Christmas Eve for the past few years I seem to wake up sometime in the night just feeling incredibly sad. Last year I woke up crying (and I rarely cry) because I missed the 2 babies we lost to miscarriage 7 years ago. I just kept saying to my husband "They should be here with us".
It makes no sense. This year was no different. I wonder why this happens to me consistently, but I'm thinking about if I can just use these experience to create some kind of ritual of grief that might actually help me somehow. Anyone else experience weird Christmas Eve sadness?
I'm so sorry for your losses, Laura. I lost a baby 2 years ago and I always seem to grieve it at the most unexpected times. I find Christmas/Christmas Eve all very emotional, especially now as a mom. Maybe there is something tied up in it for you. I hope you find that release.
I’ll share the most beautiful moment in my Christmas Eve service. One of the singers is native and she sang the first verse of Silent Night in the Crow (Apsaalooke) language while we lit our candles. It was incredibly moving, as my grandpa was Apsaalooke, too.
For some reason, I’m wide awake at 5 am, long before my five year old. I can’t quit thinking of our Christmas Eve services. I sang (a special) of Oh Holy Night. Looking around the room as I sang, I saw families who have endured so much. Death, divorce, sickness, job loss. But oh the hope! A thrill of hope. And man did the line “the weary world rejoices” land differently this year. Who doesn’t feel weary? The line about “truly he taught us to love one another. His law is love and his gospel is peace.” I don’t (politically or theologically) agree with everyone there, but I’m so thankful to love them and be loved by them. And so thankful Jesus paves the way for “we are different, but I love you.” Just know friends, if you feel weary, there is hope. Always hope.
Merry Christmas swipes!! I spent the day yesterday dealing with my 4-year-old whining about the Nerf gun I didn't buy at Walgreens, all while his stack of gifts for Christmas was sitting in the next room. Truly all I want for Christmas this year is sleep. So here's hoping I can get some quality naps in over the next week while my husband is off work. Praying each of your homes are joy-filled and peaceful.
Merry Christmas everyone!! Braved church tonight. I have major Covid anxiety. We sat in the balcony and wore masks. They started the service with a fun ‘I want a hippopotamus for Christmas’ song and a person in a hippo suit and it really felt like love to me. My favorite non-Jesus Christmas tune. As always ended with silent night and as always I held back tears. The weary world rejoices! Oh how I feel that. Praying you all have the happiest, healthiest Christmas you can muster!!
I would wear a mask and sit in the balcony for someone in a hippo suit. That does feel like love!!
Merry Christmas everyone. I was just reflecting on last Christmas, which held so much grief and despair for me. I had been locked down alone in a different country than the rest of my family for 8 months and was finally crashing back into a very different America at the end of 2021 with my family. I broke down, pretty inconsolable, talking about O Come O Come Emmanuel around the Christmas tree.
I know 2021 has been a hard year for so many of us, but for me it’s also been a time of healing and being loved and seeing God show up in the people around me because I had nothing left to give. I want to mourn with all of you over the grief of this year. But I also want to share that God has brought quiet joy where I wasn’t expecting it. My mourning isn’t quite dancing, but at least it can get off the couch. God is still showing up. May your Christmas be gentle and kind, friends.
I’m so glad you are doing better 💜
A little bit of hope can be just enough ♥️
We were sick on Thanksgiving and had to miss the big family gathering.
Now we’re sick on Christmas and going to miss the smaller family gathering.
Plus we haven’t been to my parents in the next state over for months and months.
It’s my first year as a teacher, so my first year having a break like my kids and it’s all just been spent in bed. My house is a wreck, my children are getting the barest dregs of attention and care, and opening presents is likely me opening the Amazon box and letting them go wild.
It’s hard to see the beauty in that. I know it’s there, it’s just a lot harder to excavate.
I’m so sorry, Rachel. I used to teach and know how much you need this break. Hope you and your family have the best Christmas available to you.
It feels hard because it is hard. I hope you can remember “If it isn’t a good time, it’s a good story.” You will laugh about it with your kids someday. We laugh all the time with our grown kids about blown plans and misadventures.
I normally don’t go to the comments but since there was no email body I thought “Hmmmm, maybe I’ll check it out!” Hello! I am about to do some cleaning and gift wrapping ahead of what I hope will be a mellow holiday this year. I want to share a lovely wish I just read from Austin Channing Brown: “I deeply hope that you will find the small important things that fill you up…”. Thank you Erin for being a “filler upper” in my inbox, whether that is with your trademark mix of laughter, insight, and thought provoking or whether that is providing a space like this to engage. Merry Christmas everyone! Even if this holiday does not look like what you hoped or expected, I pray that “small important things” will still do their good work in your hearts.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas swipes! 🎄 I'd covet your prayers this weekend, if you get a moment. I am preaching at my church for the first time this Sunday! I've preached before, but never at a church, from the pulpit - and I am really feeling the weight of that responsibility. However, it is only going to be a 10 minute homily (vert short sermon), and I attend a pretty small church (and it's the day after Christmas), so that takes some of the pressure off. I feel both confident and excited, and like I want to puke a little bit. 😂 Anyway, I would so appreciate prayers that it would go well, and I would not just say what I want to say, but I would listen to Holy Spirit's quiet direction here.
Okay, and one treasure this morning: I am writing this from a cute boutique hotel! We are visiting my family in San Diego (where I grew up), and we usually stay with family, so I've never stayed in a hotel here before! But it's just one night (tomorrow my husband and I spend Christmas Day by ourselves, my favorite tradition), so we decided to protect my inner peace and splurge. ☺️
And lastly, I am reading A Christmas Carol for the first time and can't help but play A Muppet Christmas Carol in my head while I read. 😂
Will be praying for the Holy Spirit to overflow while you preach. And te muppets Christmas carol is sincerely a very faithful adaptation 😂
May you say exactly what someone needs to hear.
Thank you Annette! ❤️
May you all have the best Christmas weekend available to you!
I’m working today at the childrens ER. We had an awesome toy donation from Christian rapper, Brinson (@godchaserz) and the kids are loving all the legos, lol dolls, Barbie’s, cars etc. at least if I can’t be with my family I can bring some joy to a rotten time.
Thanks for being there for the kids. My husband is a first responder, so I know how hard it is to spend your holiday away from family. Glad there’s joy at the hospital, for them and for you.
Merry Christmas! Or, if you prefer, Meh-ry Christmas. Holidays can be tough, y'all. If you're not feeling it this year, don't feel like you need to fake it here of all places.
I gave my husband the responsibility of figuring out where and how to hang the family stockings this year (we changed our space around so last year's arrangement doesn't work), and he has opted to hang them on the wall with command hooks. So I didn't have to deal with it - hooray me for delegating! - but now we've got this distinct dorm-room vibe that I wasn't really anticipating. Oh well. It's just for a day or two.
Thank you for giving permission to feel all those feelings. My Christmases for the past few years have been kinda meh too.
Merry Christmas, y’all!!! We are scooching across the finish line. Realized last night the roll of wrapping paper I have is not going to cover (😉) all the gifts we have to wrap. Bless my husband who braved Walmart this morning to get more. We save our most favorite Christmas move for viewing tonight and watch it all day tomorrow. A Christmas Story is out favorite and we keep the TBS tradition alive here at our house with 24 hours of it! I love it so much!
Worked retail yesterday for the first time since college and it was actually fun. I’m working at my town’s new independent bookstore, Downtown Books. The owner is a delight and has trusted me with curating the fiction. We had a blast yesterday wrapping, selling, chatting up customers, visiting old friends and making new ones. We have laughed and laughed. It was a blast!
Hope everyone has a great Christmas tomorrow! Enjoy the moment and don’t worry about the mess. I cannot wait to see my children’s faces in the morning. It’s the best. And, yes, I bought Santa gifts for my dogs. And yes, they have their own stockings with their names on them. That’s normal, right?!
That job sounds wonderful - do you feel a bit like Kathleen Kelly?! There's something magical about the smell of book stores. I'm not sure there's a better place to be at Christmastime!
Oh yes! It is the most fun and less stressful than my “day job.”
If I had to work retail I’d want it to be in a bookstore.
Same!
Meredith, I love all of this so much. 😂 Your job sounds like so much fun!! That is probably the only thing I miss about working retail. 😝
Thanks Erin for all of the good words this year, they really are a blessing to us! Merry Christmas Lil Swipes! 🎅 🎄 ❤
Merry Christmas!!!🎁🎄
Merry Christmas!! Long time stalker, first time commenter!
Got my booster yesterday. Take that, Omicron. Nothing like a sore arm to wake you up on Christmas Eve.
Just fully realized that I need an extra stream of income if I'm going to be able to afford presents, cat food, insurance, and a hair cut. Why is that last one so expensive?! Please feel free to spam me with any of your ideas for this graphic designing church secretary.
Welcome Ellen!! So glad you're here. ☺️
I wonder if you could freelance for other churches in your area? Or could you do "tech support" for older people in your congregation? Trying to think of things that dovetail with your current job. (I have also been a graphic designing church secretary, and I feel your income pain!)
Congrats on the booster!
Those are great suggestions! Thankfully my church has given me a 5% raise for the coming year, but it doesn't quite make up for the increase in insurance! I managed to get it quite low last year, which I knew wouldn't last long!