What a week, y'all. Can we please get our group together for coffee and reflection together soon? I need some more people in my corner. If you live in the Birmingham area, I am game to meet anywhere. Thank You Books is a great place to congregate and have access to all of the books and Red Bike Coffee is down the sidewalk with some wonderful drinks and snacks.
Turd: struggling to get back up off the bench and get going again. Also, struggling to be in touch with my family, who vote and believe differently than I do. Struggling with that struggle.
Treasure: staying in connection with people who are also struggling in the wake of the election, feeling less alone (and less crazy!) because of it.
Question for the group! I believe, truly, we need to find a way to stay in conversation with folks who think/believe differently. But I found myself unfollowing one person this week for a post she made praising the election results (and it was a mild post, nothing hateful in it). I've been unable to reach out, beyond text, to family who are pleased about (rejoicing over) the election.
And I don't want to be this person! I don't want to unfollow and turn away from the folks I don't agree with. Nothing changed in these relationships, they've believed differently from me before now. So why am I so mad now? Anyone else feeling this way? Or have thoughts?
And also, this is saving my life right now, for the song, for watching YoYo Ma's kind face, and for the sweet, sweet moment at the end. https://www.instagram.com/p/DAq-JnqSrkG/
Your social media accounts are your house, and you are allowed to make your house any way you want. Unfollowing someone is not the same as ending a relationship. I would also argue that having relationships with people does not inherently mean that all topics of conversation are up for grabs at all times. You are not obligated to talk politics with someone who you fundamentally disagree with, especially if both parties are unlikely to change their positions. Talk about their kids, your kids, work, the home improvement project you finally finished - there are so many options that still allow you to be invested in their lives.
I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a beat to feel your feelings before having connections and conversations with people on social media or IRL. That feels like a healthy boundary for this current moment. Even though the post was mild, your reaction to it wasn't, so muting or unfollowing until you can be the person you want to be in response to it is okay!
Going forward I've decided to spend less time on social media and with really any media that is the equivalent of a drive through, and instead prioritize long form, sit down restaurant media, where both the author and the reader have to take a minute to really stop and think in order to share and listen.
And then I am going to work on prioritizing IRL relationships over internet ones. That gets trickier because some of my dearest friends are people who I met on the internet (or through virtual work like we did!) I enjoy keeping up with people and sharing in whatever they are doing. But I can do that kind of check in much less time than I have been spending on the socials. Right now, I have to reinstall IG before I can check it, and after taking a week away from it + the election in general, it is way less appealing.
The other thing I'm working through is my desire to know all the things and how I may just have to be okay with knowing less about people's business. I know we weren't designed to take in the volume of information we do these days, but I also like being up to date on all the things, so that's gonna be an adjustment.
Gah, Katie, so much good stuff here. Thanks for the grace around the family stuff and the unfollow.
And I especially appreciate your thoughts about more long form content. I need IG for the sake of marketing (hello, book sales!) but spending less time there (outside of work) would be wise. And the more time I spend in places like this, paid newsletter, podcasts, and reading, (scrolling cuts into my reading time so much) the better that feels!
And hello! Look at us both here, meeting in all the places. So happy to see your voice. :-)
Emily, I am having the same thoughts and feelings! I commend you for not wanting to isolate yourself from people that think differently than you. I have no advice, but I plan to approach everyone with empathy and see where that takes me. But if you think someone is going to be disrespectful/hurtful towards you for expressing your feelings, you can probably take a break from that person for awhile.
My chosen question for people who voted differently than me is currently, "what does a great America look like for you?" Because regardless of the slogan coming from one "side," I know we all want a great nation, and this question is one I can genuinely ask and listen to understand the answer
Yes, empathy. Searching so hard for it. I love my family and they're good people. And I want to quiet the voice in my head that wants to lump everything about them into one category. And, truthfully, I imagine, they look at me and wonder what in the world I'm thinking, how I can make the choices I make.
This is very rambly. Apologies for that. The amount of arguing I'm doing in my head isn't doing much for my out loud voice. :-)
What works for me is being in real life relationship with people and not in social media relationship. My social media is curated to bring me joy and I make no apologies for that.
Yes! This is good advice. And I keep telling myself I'll stay off social media until five minutes later when I pull up Instagram and start scanning for anything that feels like solidarity, anger, or hope-I'm not picky! But I think pulling off the metaphorical Band-Aid, making the call, and going back to life, pre this news, is wise in the case of these relationships. Sigh. Breathe. Sigh again. And big thanks to the support here.
In addition to the bad news that everyone got this week, voters in Colorado voted yes on Prop 129, which is going to have massive, negative repercussions for my industry. I don't live in CO, and it may take some time for those repercussions to make their way out of the state. Maybe that means we'll have some time to course-correct, but I'm not hopeful.
I had a moment the other day where I briefly wondered if I should move back to England because I do not want to deal with another 4-16 years of this, then this video came up on my feed: https://www.instagram.com/p/DCDqCENObwV/. So I guess I'll just keep working my non-profit job and keep going to ice skating classes and try to find room in the budget to increase donations to orgs that are trying to help people that the president-elect hates.
Turd: I injured my shoulder in rehabbing my broken elbow, so I’m back to square…not one, but maybe four?… on recovery. MRI on Monday.
Treasure: this week led to me finally creating a dopamine menu, which I’m pretty sure I heard about from you, Erin. It turns out I do like to do a lot of things that are much more restorative than scrolling! 😂
As always with the treasures and the memes and the timely words. Thank you, Erin.
I am sad, and have been so grateful for wise words and empathetic, kind people supporting each other in grief, and encouraging us to not despair. Stephen Colbert's little pep talk before the cold open. Jimmy Kimmel tearing up. 🥺 Tabitha Brown's kind, motherly voice, "You woke up this morning." Diana Butler Bass, Jeff Chu, and Nadia Bolz-Webber pastoring and praying for us. Jemar Tisby and Kristin du Mez offering historian perspectives and resources. Tressie Macmillan Cottom on the Daily show, with her calm analysis. Shannan Martin and Black Liturgies reminder to not rush, but to feel all this. Marcie Alvis Walker coming in with the Gandalf quote. Taylor Shumann telling us not to be embarrassed because we had hope. Sharon McMahon reminding us that hope is a choice. Over and over, “This is so sad; don't despair. This is heartbreaking; don't despair.” Look for the helpers, indeed.
And a giant blessing in my own life is that a new bookclub I just joined has turned out to be a source of solace and love. our Most recent meeting was on Election Day, and it was emotional. The text thread has been hopping with links and memes and words of comfort. I have been so lonely, and having a group of people to process with has been good. I am thankful.
Reflecting on the faithfulness of the Lord in times past has made me much more hopeful this week. Remembering how much my life, my hearts, my thoughts have grown and changed has been a good reminder that change is possible and that Holy Spirit is at work.
I pre-ordered Dr. Tisby's book The Spirit of Justice but haven't read much yet. Now is the time!
The pre-screening of Wicked for past and present Broadway cast! What a sweet thing to do for those who've used their incredible talent to make this show what it is. Also, knowing they liked it made me feel more confident that I will! Still v confused about the 2 movie situation 😳
❤️ you all, so thankful for this community ! Have the best weekend avaliable, dear ones.
Yes!! I just don't know what they're adding to make it two movies. My coworker is seeing it opening weekend, so I'm waiting for her to fill me in before I get my tickets
I am not nuanced at the moment and I am trying to focus on positive things today because rage is not sustainable, while still not repressing it. I’ve listened to this poem about five times in the last two days, while on my stupid mental health walks. Wendell Berry reads it himself.
Turd: People are just absolutely insane. What I've learned this month is that our schools systems in America do not prioritize teaching critical thinking skills or empathy at all.
Treasure: Last weekend I went to a little seaside town in CT and it was just amazing. I got to see New England in the Fall and try apple cider for the first time ever! It was delicious!
Okay, going to try to stay off the internet for the weekend. I love all of you <3
Grateful for the Faith Adjacent Patreon and for this corner of the internet to process and grieve and laugh. It’s hard to be a blue dot in my family and community where my parents and in-laws sincerely believe in hurricane machines and the end times being brought about by a “Demon-crat” win.
I’m going to share the Treasure bringing our household a lot of joy this week. It’s my teenager’s high school performance acapella group’s ALBUM that they recorded this summer and dropped on Wednesday. Available anywhere streaming if Spotify isn’t your thing.
I like this one from Sharon Hodde Miller. Fun fact, she’s my friend’s cousin 😂
https://www.instagram.com/p/DB5Nk1uxfMx/?igsh=OHZlMnV6MzJ2amxu
This montage of the final finishers at the New York Marathon this year
I was actually at the finish line to see this in person and it was everything.
https://youtube.com/shorts/JgN1i85QdsE?si=vnNzY_pOqMyf-ynE
Oh my god, every single one of those wholesome, positive masculinity videos made me cry. That's the kind of week it is.
Imma gonna just drop all the IG stuff I saved this week:
The hope givers I needed:
- Carlos Whitaker https://www.instagram.com/p/DCDJjbpxxUA/?igsh=MWNqazl1ZWxtaGlxOA==
- The After Party 2024 https://www.instagram.com/p/DCB3W9Bqq7n/?igsh=MW42ZXpzMDN5bzZzaA==
- Esau McCaulley https://www.instagram.com/p/DCFWIJQpNz8/?igsh=ZXhvMzEzbzdicnd5
- Kendra Adachi https://www.instagram.com/p/DCB5ogNJbX9/?igsh=N2Y0emFiamlsaWF2
The self-care I needed:
- Consistency > perfection https://www.instagram.com/p/DBMolTXzsn1/?igsh=MXV1NTAxdHQwZTlqZQ==
The sweetness I needed:
- Pedro Pascal https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBEsQVYubg1/?igsh=aHNsNDRmMDBmbWc2
- Ryan Gosling hyping women https://www.instagram.com/reel/DANr3aYJ5_m/?igsh=MW51enV2dzA4MHZweQ==
- Steve Martin banjo HP https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-9Mg3XOxa9/?igsh=MWV2ZDFnaTMyM2lxdg==
- Dance Circle https://www.instagram.com/reel/DA_LotGuumQ/?igsh=dW5sZ3B5MWR5eTQz
And finally, the laughs I needed:
- Musical Theater https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-_0wTKpXtv/?igsh=MTAzZG9ydW9qNm92Nw==
- Swedish Chef Rapping?!? https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBd9pIHuvKx/?igsh=aGxkZmNqNmNsbmFx
What a week, y'all. Can we please get our group together for coffee and reflection together soon? I need some more people in my corner. If you live in the Birmingham area, I am game to meet anywhere. Thank You Books is a great place to congregate and have access to all of the books and Red Bike Coffee is down the sidewalk with some wonderful drinks and snacks.
Ready to go. This week? Next week?
Love reading through these comments.
Turd: struggling to get back up off the bench and get going again. Also, struggling to be in touch with my family, who vote and believe differently than I do. Struggling with that struggle.
Treasure: staying in connection with people who are also struggling in the wake of the election, feeling less alone (and less crazy!) because of it.
Question for the group! I believe, truly, we need to find a way to stay in conversation with folks who think/believe differently. But I found myself unfollowing one person this week for a post she made praising the election results (and it was a mild post, nothing hateful in it). I've been unable to reach out, beyond text, to family who are pleased about (rejoicing over) the election.
And I don't want to be this person! I don't want to unfollow and turn away from the folks I don't agree with. Nothing changed in these relationships, they've believed differently from me before now. So why am I so mad now? Anyone else feeling this way? Or have thoughts?
And also, this is saving my life right now, for the song, for watching YoYo Ma's kind face, and for the sweet, sweet moment at the end. https://www.instagram.com/p/DAq-JnqSrkG/
I feel the same way, Emily!
Your social media accounts are your house, and you are allowed to make your house any way you want. Unfollowing someone is not the same as ending a relationship. I would also argue that having relationships with people does not inherently mean that all topics of conversation are up for grabs at all times. You are not obligated to talk politics with someone who you fundamentally disagree with, especially if both parties are unlikely to change their positions. Talk about their kids, your kids, work, the home improvement project you finally finished - there are so many options that still allow you to be invested in their lives.
I don't think there's anything wrong with taking a beat to feel your feelings before having connections and conversations with people on social media or IRL. That feels like a healthy boundary for this current moment. Even though the post was mild, your reaction to it wasn't, so muting or unfollowing until you can be the person you want to be in response to it is okay!
Going forward I've decided to spend less time on social media and with really any media that is the equivalent of a drive through, and instead prioritize long form, sit down restaurant media, where both the author and the reader have to take a minute to really stop and think in order to share and listen.
And then I am going to work on prioritizing IRL relationships over internet ones. That gets trickier because some of my dearest friends are people who I met on the internet (or through virtual work like we did!) I enjoy keeping up with people and sharing in whatever they are doing. But I can do that kind of check in much less time than I have been spending on the socials. Right now, I have to reinstall IG before I can check it, and after taking a week away from it + the election in general, it is way less appealing.
The other thing I'm working through is my desire to know all the things and how I may just have to be okay with knowing less about people's business. I know we weren't designed to take in the volume of information we do these days, but I also like being up to date on all the things, so that's gonna be an adjustment.
Gah, Katie, so much good stuff here. Thanks for the grace around the family stuff and the unfollow.
And I especially appreciate your thoughts about more long form content. I need IG for the sake of marketing (hello, book sales!) but spending less time there (outside of work) would be wise. And the more time I spend in places like this, paid newsletter, podcasts, and reading, (scrolling cuts into my reading time so much) the better that feels!
And hello! Look at us both here, meeting in all the places. So happy to see your voice. :-)
Emily, I am having the same thoughts and feelings! I commend you for not wanting to isolate yourself from people that think differently than you. I have no advice, but I plan to approach everyone with empathy and see where that takes me. But if you think someone is going to be disrespectful/hurtful towards you for expressing your feelings, you can probably take a break from that person for awhile.
My chosen question for people who voted differently than me is currently, "what does a great America look like for you?" Because regardless of the slogan coming from one "side," I know we all want a great nation, and this question is one I can genuinely ask and listen to understand the answer
Yes, empathy. Searching so hard for it. I love my family and they're good people. And I want to quiet the voice in my head that wants to lump everything about them into one category. And, truthfully, I imagine, they look at me and wonder what in the world I'm thinking, how I can make the choices I make.
This is very rambly. Apologies for that. The amount of arguing I'm doing in my head isn't doing much for my out loud voice. :-)
What works for me is being in real life relationship with people and not in social media relationship. My social media is curated to bring me joy and I make no apologies for that.
"my social media is curated to bring me joy and I make no apologies for that"
Putting this on a t-shirt
Yes! This is good advice. And I keep telling myself I'll stay off social media until five minutes later when I pull up Instagram and start scanning for anything that feels like solidarity, anger, or hope-I'm not picky! But I think pulling off the metaphorical Band-Aid, making the call, and going back to life, pre this news, is wise in the case of these relationships. Sigh. Breathe. Sigh again. And big thanks to the support here.
Amen! It's hard to hate people up close.
Isn't that the truth?!
In addition to the bad news that everyone got this week, voters in Colorado voted yes on Prop 129, which is going to have massive, negative repercussions for my industry. I don't live in CO, and it may take some time for those repercussions to make their way out of the state. Maybe that means we'll have some time to course-correct, but I'm not hopeful.
I had a moment the other day where I briefly wondered if I should move back to England because I do not want to deal with another 4-16 years of this, then this video came up on my feed: https://www.instagram.com/p/DCDqCENObwV/. So I guess I'll just keep working my non-profit job and keep going to ice skating classes and try to find room in the budget to increase donations to orgs that are trying to help people that the president-elect hates.
Turd: I injured my shoulder in rehabbing my broken elbow, so I’m back to square…not one, but maybe four?… on recovery. MRI on Monday.
Treasure: this week led to me finally creating a dopamine menu, which I’m pretty sure I heard about from you, Erin. It turns out I do like to do a lot of things that are much more restorative than scrolling! 😂
Dopamine menu changed my life, so glad you started one
As always with the treasures and the memes and the timely words. Thank you, Erin.
I am sad, and have been so grateful for wise words and empathetic, kind people supporting each other in grief, and encouraging us to not despair. Stephen Colbert's little pep talk before the cold open. Jimmy Kimmel tearing up. 🥺 Tabitha Brown's kind, motherly voice, "You woke up this morning." Diana Butler Bass, Jeff Chu, and Nadia Bolz-Webber pastoring and praying for us. Jemar Tisby and Kristin du Mez offering historian perspectives and resources. Tressie Macmillan Cottom on the Daily show, with her calm analysis. Shannan Martin and Black Liturgies reminder to not rush, but to feel all this. Marcie Alvis Walker coming in with the Gandalf quote. Taylor Shumann telling us not to be embarrassed because we had hope. Sharon McMahon reminding us that hope is a choice. Over and over, “This is so sad; don't despair. This is heartbreaking; don't despair.” Look for the helpers, indeed.
And a giant blessing in my own life is that a new bookclub I just joined has turned out to be a source of solace and love. our Most recent meeting was on Election Day, and it was emotional. The text thread has been hopping with links and memes and words of comfort. I have been so lonely, and having a group of people to process with has been good. I am thankful.
Have the best weekend available to you, Swipes.
The ending of this video makes my husband and me laugh so hard no matter how many times we watch it. Sound on!
https://imgur.com/7skMmph
Oh my gawd 😂😂😂
Have you seen southern cat? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pVC-tNK-sxU&pp=ygULd2VsbCBoaSBjYXQ%3D
Pastor Trey had some excellent things to say in his substack this am
https://open.substack.com/pub/pastortrey05/p/an-american-autopsy?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
This IG post about staying involved and hopeful https://www.instagram.com/p/DCFE3qixmys/?igsh=Mnh4dDQ2eHp2OWNm
Reflecting on the faithfulness of the Lord in times past has made me much more hopeful this week. Remembering how much my life, my hearts, my thoughts have grown and changed has been a good reminder that change is possible and that Holy Spirit is at work.
I pre-ordered Dr. Tisby's book The Spirit of Justice but haven't read much yet. Now is the time!
The pre-screening of Wicked for past and present Broadway cast! What a sweet thing to do for those who've used their incredible talent to make this show what it is. Also, knowing they liked it made me feel more confident that I will! Still v confused about the 2 movie situation 😳
❤️ you all, so thankful for this community ! Have the best weekend avaliable, dear ones.
I'm so conflicted about seeing Wicked. Like, why make it two movies??
Yes!! I just don't know what they're adding to make it two movies. My coworker is seeing it opening weekend, so I'm waiting for her to fill me in before I get my tickets
I am not nuanced at the moment and I am trying to focus on positive things today because rage is not sustainable, while still not repressing it. I’ve listened to this poem about five times in the last two days, while on my stupid mental health walks. Wendell Berry reads it himself.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C87UKQERLTh/?igsh=djl0MGo5cTRseTJp
holy moly, that poem. So beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
Turd: People are just absolutely insane. What I've learned this month is that our schools systems in America do not prioritize teaching critical thinking skills or empathy at all.
Treasure: Last weekend I went to a little seaside town in CT and it was just amazing. I got to see New England in the Fall and try apple cider for the first time ever! It was delicious!
Okay, going to try to stay off the internet for the weekend. I love all of you <3
Did I get this from you, or did it just magically appear in my feed? Either way, I was mesmerized. And I don't even love poetry. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DB4Bm3KMkNq/?igsh=d3ZleDBjd2U5amh4
Grateful for the Faith Adjacent Patreon and for this corner of the internet to process and grieve and laugh. It’s hard to be a blue dot in my family and community where my parents and in-laws sincerely believe in hurricane machines and the end times being brought about by a “Demon-crat” win.
I really needed this today.
This is so tough! And I'm right there with you. And thankful for this community and like-minded folks, too.
That really sucks, Stephanie. I am so sorry. 🩵
Sending love. I am so sorry. I don't have much connection with family anymore, so I get this. 🔵
I’m going to share the Treasure bringing our household a lot of joy this week. It’s my teenager’s high school performance acapella group’s ALBUM that they recorded this summer and dropped on Wednesday. Available anywhere streaming if Spotify isn’t your thing.
https://open.spotify.com/album/3AlqOkrLvYSZ29cQkDkddQ?si=nWjUjQYQSTevLSjHWaN3hQ
The children! This is amazing! 🩵
Holy smokes! That's great!
Lauren how exciting! They sound so great. Nothing better than watching your kid do something they love!
Called Better to Be by Skyline Blues :)