I saved this to read today while I would be sitting with my Granny in her rehab facility. Long, slow hours to think. Thanks for the hilarious tweets and other goodies to help me through.
What a week. It is 10:15 pm and I am sitting in my "comfy" chair with my dogs at my feet and all the dishes are washed. Amen.
💻 - I had a couple big wins at work this week, and I needed them. It was a huge morale boost after weeks and weeks of stress.
🍁- It rained and more is on the way. In CA it means so much for the rain to come in the fall. The leaves have turned earlier than usual, and I've had deliciously autumnal walks in beautiful old neighborhoods with huge tree canopies.
🏡- we got all our house projects done for the turning of the season, and my heart is at ease coming into the holiday season - which NEVER happens for me.
📻- Before I saw Erin's recommendation I was going to mention that episode of the Next Right Thing. It really is good. Ive also been playing Lazy Genius Breezy Instrumental as well as generic s potify playlists of spooky classical music to get through my workdays. This time of year I also like to listen to bluegrass and have been listening to Sarah deshield's album "Death and the Woman", which was recommended by Rachel Held Evan's sister Amanda, who sang on one of the songs.
Lovely to read all your ups and downs and to learn a bit more about some of you through dis/entangled.
Well, hello friends. I've been absent here for a while, but lurking through. Life has been crazy lately both good and bad. We got to go scout wedding locations with the kid and his fiancé which was a gift, and the $ her family is willing to spend on this day makes my nonprofit running heart twitch.
My medical PTSD has been flaring lately as my dear friend had a serious surgery early this week and her recovery isn't going well and a heart transplant buddy of mine who's only a little further out from transplant was healthy one day and within a week was on life support. It's starting to look a little better for him, but last I heard he's got a 50/50 chance of making it. It's just a reminder to me that this new heart of mine is a fragile gift.
The treasure is that we are still here, still working on helping transplant patients - two new patients this month! We are filling the gaps that we can! Praying that Giving Tuesday will allow us to keep serving this population.
Hello, friends. Despite a stupid week of insomnia and lingering side effects from a first shingles vax (making me feel old for being able to get the dang shot in the first place!), I have treasures to report.
📚 Tomorrow is my beloved 24-Hour Readathon, and I’m feeling prepared! I’ve got my book stack ready to go, snacks lined up, and an enchilada meal in mind that should prep quickly and satisfy heartily. All that’s left is prepping some journal pages and getting a good night’s sleep. 🤞🏻 I finally slept a full 10 hours last night but woke in the morning so I’m hopeful I can be tired tonight and do it again. (My insomnia is no joke.) As always, I’ll be updating my reading on IG if you want to check in and encourage me during the day. 😊 @phreneticmind
You can also join the readathon by signing up at http://deweysreadathon.wordpress.com. We start at 8am ET but you can join in for any length of time throughout the 24 hours. Follow the event @readathon on IG and Twitter.
✝️ I’ve been working through the dis/entangle series with Erin and other Li’l Swipes, and it’s good, hard work. I’ve been most impressed by the way we can all read the same scripture passages but see completely different motivations from the key players. Some of us find Jesus’s words comforting while others find him aggravating and condescending. Some see courage in the Samaritan woman at the well (who has a name in some faith traditions! *reggae horn*), while others see her as embarrassed. I’m reminded how we all bring our own cultural/societal/experiential lens to the Bible and how we need other people to share different lenses. It may not change our own opinions or frustrations, but it definitely makes us think. Which is the entire point of Erin’s study: God isn’t afraid of our questions or challenges, and we shouldn’t be afraid to bring them. 🙌🏻
🎄 Lastly, I’ve hit upon 2 fun Christmas ideas for my people this year. I’ve been really frustrated as I considered the stupid supply chain chaos and stupid Jeff Bezos and even my stupid family (heh) who have no good interests that lend toward gifting options. I’m an outlier in the family, so nothing I think is great and fun is interesting to anyone else. I can’t even buy books for anyone because THEY DO NOT READ. Not a single one in 10 adults reads. Ever. 🤦🏻♀️ So every year I go through these anxieties and now I am also planning for my mom because of her diminishing cognitive issues. Our budget doesn’t allow much, and my family makes it ridiculous to be creative. So… while devouring several gift-giving posts in the Lazy Genius Collective group on FB we’ve decided to put together a stocking of smalls for every adult. Depending on gender, they will be receiving such items as a restaurant gift card, Lotto scratch-offs, Bath and Body Works hand soap, Fuego hot sauce, pancake mix + tiny bottle of syrup, beef jerky, K-cups, lip scrubber brush + lip balm, mini lint roller, candy and snacks, plus the requisite orange in toe of the stocking because that’s what my parents *always* did when we were kids. I’m certain my family will be underwhelmed 🙄 but I also know it’s all practical and will be used. If it *does* go well, this may be a permanent gift to a less-than-grateful crew.
The second gift idea is MUCH more fun. I have a long-distance best friend who has been a literal pen pal for 21 years, and the state of economy/shipping has made it hard to send gifts without paying ridiculous mailing costs. This year we decided to put that money toward each other and “go digital” for Christmas. I brainstormed for months without hitting on a truly good idea, but my friend came through with something brilliant. We’re going to create a 12 days of Christmas gift in which each day reflects on 2021: Day 1, one subscription I loved this year (Oh Reader); Day 2, two excellent binge watches; Day 6, six favorite newsletters (I get to celebrate y’all!); Day 10, ten songs I discovered this year; Day 12, twelve books I read and recommend. Not every day will include a physical item, but for those that can, we’re going to take advantage of free shipping options or digital gift cards or get it shipped directly from stores. The idea is to (a) share the little treasures (!) we’ve not been able to discuss as we once did in long emails, and (b) avoid contributing to the shipping crisis. To say I’ve got creativity juicing my veins is an understatement. And my heart’s resting much easier, too.
❓❓ If you read this far down, I’d like to ask something of you. I want to start making all purchases from indie shops and small businesses. I’d love for you to share some favorites of yours. Bonus points for budget-minded stores. They need to have an online shopping option, too, since I’m in a small town. Got any suggestions?
Wishing everyone the best weekend available to you!
Love this update Jules. I think you are such a kind and creative gift giver and your wretched family doesn't deserve you. If anyone likes hotsauce Humble House brand was started by a small family and they are delicious! https://hivebrands.com/collections/humble-house
Your 12 days of Christmas thing is amazing!!! And I still love an orange in my stocking- my mom and I always say that the stockings are the best part of Christmas (we’re also super easy to please and love presents though lol)
Etsy is often my first stop for this sort of thing. It can be overwhelming but to start with I will usually restrict my search to shops located in the U.S. You can browse through all manner of subscription boxes on Cratejoy (I have subscribed to the Unplugged book box off and on and enjoyed it). This may be what you were getting at with your penpal, but last year I gave my best friend one year of the subscription of her choice. You may have to put a budget cap as there's a pretty big difference between a year of a newspaper and a year of Book of the Month, for example, but I'm still hearing about how much she loved it.
Subscription boxes are a dream of mine to give. One day. They can be so pricey, but I hope to make it happen eventually. My rule is always “give what you would like to receive” and getting a monthly/quarterly package of goodies would bring me so much joy. (Because my family is “stupid” I’ve rarely received what I would actually give a person. It’s hard to be the only person with the Gift love language. 😬)
Etsy is always a go-to, for sure! Thanks for ideas!
Boxes can definitely be pricey, but some will have different tiers of the same box. Sometimes you can also do shorter subscriptions or a one-off, or they might even have individual items that they were overstocked on for previous boxes, in which case you can mix and match.
I'm starting to get a little itchy about getting a job lined up. It's starting to look like I may have to cobble together a couple of part-time gigs in order to be able to stay in this area, which I've realized is actually very high on my priority list. I will be volunteering for a spay/neuter event in a couple of weeks, by which point I will not have touched an animal besides my own in a month, so I see no way this can possibly go wrong. 😬
I've had something of a falling out with my dad after he provided the final nail in the coffin of any chance my grandmother (mom's mom and my last living grandparent) will get her Covid vaccine. I have tolerated a lot of BS from my dad over the years, but this was a bridge too far and I told him so in no uncertain terms. This has dovetailed nicely with a season of really missing my other grandparents, who both passed several years ago (while also being somewhat thankful they're not around for All This). Thoughts for all of you living with the background noise of grief.
Treasures
- Many thanks to whoever suggested the figure skating episode of Bad Sport. There is no drama like figure skating drama and I am here for it at all times.
- Witches of New York by Ami McKay is an excellent spooky read.
- My penpal gave me a top tip for cutting my own hair that I will now pass on to you, which is to YouTube "unicorn haircut". It's a lot easier than the last method I used to cut my hair and it looks great. There are lots of videos, this is the one I used: https://youtu.be/mIhMYgLtzOA
- We had a big storm roll through last week that knocked out my wifi for 5 days (boo). This meant that I was buying/renting DVDs for the first time in years, and do you know what's missing from the streaming experience? Special features. Give me all the behind the scenes movie magic, cast interviews, gag reels, I want it all.
- Related, I finally got to see WW84 thanks to my local library and I, for one, loved it. Also Gal Gadot looked incredible amd I could see the appeal of 80s fashion for the first time in my life.
I’ve been absent for the last few weeks. There have been loads of turds and very few treasures. The treasures that there have been though were miraculous.
🌴We’ve been in quarantine with covid since September 6th. Everyone in this has gotten covid. But most have either not overlapped or overlapped by a few days. We gotten to the day before quarantine ends three times only to have another person test positive. As a reminder there are 8 people in our house. The last covid victim fell yesterday. I managed to get it twice!
🌴During our covid crisis my dad had a septic brain infection and two/three strokes with two hospital stays and covid. I couldn’t visit him or my mom during the whole crap shoot.
🌴I had a BIG ole fight with my sister who is an addict. Moral of that story is I am right.
Treasures:
📢 For the first time in ummm maybe ever I told people that I needed help. To not ask for my permission, not to ask me what I needed to just do stuff! My internet gang,BFF and church helped in huge ways!!
📢Our church has gifted us a total house cleaning and disinfecting once our covid is over.
📢 While I am so tired emotionally and physically I am thankful that I learned how to ask for help without feeling guilty. I asked for help and didn’t even care what the plan was! That’s huge for an enneagram 1. I’d rather have learned those lessons in a less germy way but here we are… People, your people want to help you. It’s not a weakness or a failure. You are not meant to journey alone, in any season of life. No trial is meant to be suffered through without your people. Tell them. Bring them in. What you are learning through your current season is meant to be a lesson for them too.
Much love to my favorite internet gang in all the land!!
Jenny you are the sweetest! I had to have the antibody infusion during my second covid. I did joke that between two rounds of covid, a vaccine and antibodies I was basically a super hero. I pondered buying a unitard, a mask and changing my name to “Super immune Erin” but alas I don’t look great in unitards!
Asking for help is so. hard. Proud of you for doing so! Also FRIEND HOW DID I MISS THAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN IN QUARANTINE FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS. Lord have mercy!
I've managed to take a daily Stupid Walk (tm) for 30+ days. It's the longest I've been consistent on anything for my entire life and I'm both proud of me & scared that talking about it will cause me to break my streak. But it's also what I credit with me not ending every day screaming into a pillow so.... I'll take it.
My 2 dogs are doing their quarterly 'oh hey, we do actually know how to play well with each other for 3 seconds' chase around the house as I type and that's making me happy. The rest of the time they just spend either ignoring each other or pestering and being jealous or attempting to make the other one jealous (side note, don't believe the lies that adding a 2nd dog will mean they entertain each other. Bursting that bubble on the rocks of real life was a hard realization for me)
And I'm managing to not be entirely check out/overwhelmed by the reality that our landlord is selling our living space & there's a higher than likely chance we'll end up needing to move sometime in the next 30-60 days.....
(side note: rooms without any windows in them are magic for giving you space to collect yourself - highly recommend you sit in the dark on the floor sometime)
Everything you shared here is ✨magic✨ (except the living situation ☹️). Dogs are great equalizers of emotion. Dark rooms are serenity. Congrats on your walking habit! Wishing you great success on finding a new place to live.
I've made it to the end of the week and I've got a therapy appointment on Sunday! It's been a few weeks since I've had one so it'll be nice to get back into that rhythm. I started working in a 12-18 month preschool class two mornings a week and I'm both enjoying the experience and regretting adding something else to my schedule. It makes for 12 hour work days (I have to go straight to the library after for my regular job). But I get to snuggle and play a lot too so that's nice.
My main treasure is that I got to see my favorite musician last weekend - Friday and Saturday night. Small, intimate venue where I got to sit down at a table the whole time (bc my body is far too old to stand during shows now). It was truly one of the most beautiful and wonderful experiences. I'm still binging his new album too. Noah Gundersen - A Pillar of Salt.
I LOVE Noah Gundersen! That’s another album I keep meaning to listen to but then I always get sidetracked haha. Ledges is probably in my top ten favorite albums list and I got to see him perform it live in New York City, what a dream.
👶 An old friend and her 6-months-and-one-day-old daughter came for a visit today. Since my social life is virtually nonexistent, I was a little nervous having people over but we had a great time. And the baby seemed to really like me.
😂 I really loved this week's episode of The Popcast. My absolute favorite thing was Knox's butchering of the Swedish word "fredagsmys". I could not understand what word he was trying to say until he explained the meaning of it. (And just in case this comes across as judgemental, please know I mispronounce English words all the time!)
🎈 My nephew turns 24 tomorrow. (When did he get so old? When did I?) He still lives in my town but his family moved away a few years ago. This weekend they're coming here to celebrate his birthday so I'll get to hang out with him, my sister, and her other kids whom I miss very much!
I wish you all exactly the kind of weekend you need right now! ❤
I mispronounce words all the time and so hearing podcasters, people who are Professional Talkers, mispronounce words makes me feel a bit better about myself. 😂 Hooray for babies and kid birthday parties!
So tired....but pushing through! I'm so glad you got to visit with your friend and will get to see your fam! My little sister is due in March and I can't wait to snuggle that baby.
The adult show and tell...1) Isn't that what YouTube at its core? Millions of people yearning to return to show and tell? 2) A friend sent me a tweet earlier this week about an elderly gentleman who came into his library to show the staff his coin collection "because no one had seen it in a while." SOB. (Also we agreed that this will be my husband someday, who has an unreasonable amount of LEGO and has now moved onto painting gaming minis. If you're ever happening through South Central PA, please come and ooh and ahh over his hobbies. After 18 years, I am so tired.)
your husband is welcome to give me MP tours of his legos on your acct if he is needing a show and tell time from someone who can't get to south central PA easily :D
My husband consumes so much YouTube. It is insane. He follows a YouTuber about everything. Dishwasher broken? He watched a YouTube video about how to fix it last week. Need to repair a wall? Same thing. It's crazy. I cannot listen to him talk about youtubers anymore, though I appreciate all he has learned.
Oh yes, definitely could have gone badly! But I just cannot keep caring about how he could buy $200 worth of parts and, "totally upgrade" his mountain bike. I just cannot.
Y'all, it has been a week. I am on the precipice of probably needing to take medication for my depression, but I refuse to because 1) I cannot deal with more weight gain/awful body issues 2) the trial and error process of getting the correct medication is just time I do not have right now and 3) they have never actually helped so I won't try again. But Diana, my therapist, keeps asking if I would consider medication so I think I am getting close to.. *having* to. Such is the life of a person with a brain who is continually trying to kill her.
I work at the Visitor's Center now, which is attached to the convention center in SLC. We currently have a conference for Librarians going and let me tell you all - they are the best people we have had since I started working here. There is also a right wing-extremist conference happening (trust me, I don't necessarily feel safe) and every person I have met from THAT conference has been rude and impatient. All the librarians have been lovely and pleasant and kind. What a difference.
A huge treasure of this week was the finale of OMITB - WHAT. A. FINALE. I can't wait for season 2 and I haven't felt this way about a TV show since Wandavision.
If you have Regular Depression™ but also get worse during winter because of Seasonal Depression™, do you have any good tips and tricks? I try to be gentler with myself during this time of year but it is still hard. (Note: please do not suggest ~exercise~. Stupid Walks are as far as I will go but exercise makes me angrier/sadder so I will not entertain your suggestion for yoga at 5 am, please and thanks. I know what I'm about.)
Spending time over at dis/entangle with Erin and the other lil swipes has been a gift. It still feels so hard, but it feels like it's starting to heal.
Shelby, I FEEL you on the brain continually trying to kill me situation, unfortunately. I second everybody's recommendations on the light bulbs--I don't have fancy light bulbs but I generally try to get more light in my living spaces during the SAD months to blast away the literal darkness.
I also feel the medication struggle. I recommend being very picky about who you work with for your medication (for me, I have a therapist and then a separate psychiatrist who deals with the medicine side of things, I realize that's not how it works in all states and places). My psychiatrist ordered a bloodwork test for me that actually showed the likelihood of some medications to work or not work. I don't remember what the test is called but I believe it's really common, and it was covered by insurance. So if you can get that test run, do it! because it helps narrow down options before you have to do trial and error with your actual body. And second thing, if any of your family members have been on anti-depressants, and you can find out which ones they were on, that can help. Sometimes if your aunt or someone was on a med and it worked for them, that can increase the odds it'll work for you.
I hope things get better so soon! I have temporarily moved back in with my parents and younger siblings because my brain kept trying to kill me and I live alone, so it was a bad situation. My extroverted self does far better with people than without. ':)
My decade-ish in the midwest was rough for winters. I am sorry SAD adds extra stress to your plate. Looks like you have lots of good advice-I like bright colors they make me feel more alive, and trying to be diligent with moisturizer for my dry winter skin.
Sending ❤ and ✊ at the turning of the year. Youve already gotten lots of good suggestions. Light -special lamps and light bulbs and if there is a sunny day I go outside. Nature helps a lot, so I have all kinds of clothes and gear depending on the weather so I can be outside. Someone else mentioned routine, and that is so big for me. My morning routine is in shambles right now and that is messing with me. I try to hygge it up. All 5 senses getting special treats. Sip hot cider at work. Light candles. Comfort books/movies and seasonal playlists. Pretty fabrics. Fresh flowers. Coffee on the front porch in my favorite mug.Etc etc. Physical, tangible pleasures and comforts for my body. I also try to serve people or give them things. Takes My mind off of my pain and lets me be creative. I used to throw game nights 2 _s a month in the fall/winter. It doesn't fix it, but it helps. I get it. Not wanting more meds etc. But if it can help, maybe try. I love the ideas fpr genetic testing. I had never heard of that. Rooting for you!
I'm sorry your brain is being such a jerk. I feel that struggle, too. I was really resistant to going on meds at first, too, but they really have helped me. That being said, I've not had as good of luck with anxiety meds, and so I also stand in solidarity with you on your feelings about not wanting to be a victim of the bad scientific method that is trying new meds. There are genetic tests that you can take to see which meds will work for you and which to avoid. I would guess you'd be paying out of pocket for something like that, but it might be worth looking into and then setting a savings goal so you can get that done and go into the medication process with more concrete information. In terms of what helps with seasonal depression, I like rituals. Doing similar things every day means that I have a structure to my day that leads me along even when I don't feel like doing anything. So, in the mornings, I try to get up at the same time, follow a similar pre-work routine, and then also have post-work things I do every day. I realize that doesn't leave much room for spontaneity, but just remember it's not a rule, just a guideline. Also having meals pre-made (maybe doing it on Sunday?) can really help you continue to take care of yourself nutrition-wise, which also will help with feelings of sadness.
No suggestions ☹️ but standing in solidarity. 🤛🏻 I experience some of the same medical issues and struggles (though my SAD comes in summer with the Texas heat), and exercise makes me sweaty which makes me angry so 👎🏻. But I see you. Praying for relief. ❤️
As far as meds go, I love mine but I did drive around with the prescription in my car for two months. If you have any blood relatives that are on medication that would be willing to share with you what they are taking? That will help your doctor narrow down the field of medication to try.
Oh girl, I've been there with trying so many meds and dosages and nothing working. It's hell. (Until a doctor figured out that the severity of my depression fluctuated with my hormone levels and put me on birth control. It stabilized my mood for a few years but messed up a lot of other things in my body so...) I wish I had any good tips and tricks for dealing with seasonal depression but all I've got is, if at all possible, prioritize laughing. Maybe this is dumb? I'm not a doctor, so feel free to ignore this, but when it was really bad for me I'd force myself to watch or listen to something that made me laugh more or less every day and I kinda think it helped me muddle through.
I definitely try to prioritize laughing! Sometimes it just seems like I can't find joy in anything, though. I also am very afraid to go off birth control because it's the only thing that stops my periods, and when I am on my period, I become *very very very* tired of being alive. Such a mess, these body suits of ours.
i'm gonna be that guy, and suggest childs pose before bed, 2-3 min. put on whatever relaxing music you want.
also, feel your reluctance of meds, but praying for you as you decide the right thing! I've found it immensely helpful but also understand this is a deeply personal decision. also, thank u for responding to my question in LG collective this week, what a delight to see you there!
I think if they had helped before, I would be less reluctant. But since I had such a negative experience for so long, it is just hard to convince myself that it's worth another try. And omg the LG collective is the only reason I am on Facebook anymore!
Agreed on LG Facebook! I’ve had so much great inspiration for gifting and organizing from that group. I’ve learned to go to FB once a week and jump right into the Groups section of FB to avoid any feeds. Then get out as fast as I can! Looking forward to checking in on you and Jillian from this week’s posts!
I’ve not heard of Buy Nothing. Maybe we have one near me! I also like groups for stationery nerds, bullet journaling, card making, and commonplace books. Great scrolling opportunities that don’t depress me. 😊
Medications for depression change a lot over time. If it’s been a minute since your last try, consider giving another shot. Also, having a psychiatrist prescribing may be better than a therapist or a GP. They tend to do better with types and dosing.
I'm definitely biased, but I agree, librarians are the best! I'm glad they were there to counter the other conference 😬
I don't have a lot of advice for seasonal depression on top of regular depression, other than to come visit me in Florida? The weather is very nice now and we have lots of sun!
I hope whatever you decide about medication goes smoothly. It's super frustrating to have to keep trying and recalibrating. Sending love and hugs your way 💕
With you girl, just sticking with the course and applying ourselves is a daily accomplishment! My only suggestion is….when I return from a face to face with a girlfriend, I somehow always feel better. So I try to make this a priority!💛
Hi friend! I am both a librarian and someone with a brain that regularly tries to kill them. Library conferences are the best and I miss them so much - we haven't had any regular ones in a while because of COVID.
Medication has saved my life. It is really, really hard to find the right one at the right dose. Have you heard of the GeneSight testing? It will tell you what medications your body processes best based on your genetics. My sister had severe depression and the typical medications didn't help so her therapist suggested this and it has been so helpful. It also helped identify which pain medications worked best for her. Here's the website from the place she used: http://athensbehavioral.com/id18.html
I had to swap meds earlier this year and it was hell getting to the correct dose but it made such a difference. I am nervous heading into winter though SAD always makes it worse. I try to make sure that I am getting enough sleep and water and also make myself stand outside for a few minutes a couple of times a day to get actual sunshine. Not a cure but sort of helps.
I am just so tired of medication. I have to take thyroid medication every day and getting the right dosage of THAT took over a year and was expensive and timely and tiring. I haven't ever heard of the GeneSight testing - I will look into it! And my new job is basically in a giant dome of windows so I am hoping the extra sunshine during my work day will be helpful.
Girl, my husband gets SAD so terribly in the winter! We use special light bulbs in our bathroom. They are super helpful! I’ll send you the link to your Instagram. It’s not a cure but a big help.
We’re kicking off fall by camping as a family with some friends! This is the first time I’ve ever been tent camping, and I’m jumping in head first by doing it with 2 kids 2 and under 😅 I was talking through with my husband what things we might need to keep the kids warm, and he said “I think you’re going to be the coldest one in our tent.” 😬 my kids THRIVE outdoors. I do not. Here’s to hoping I can rally & not be grumpy and cold all weekend 👏🏼
I hope you had a good time camping after all! My husband & I went without the kids this weekend, the first time we have done so since a disastrous trip 10 years ago where a porcupine ate through our car's gas line during the night. Our trip this weekend was the complete opposite, great in every way; hope you were warm enough! I swear by wool socks, wool base layer, & we have really great sleeping bags that we were lucky enough to be gifted at our wedding over 12 years ago, that would have been worth buying with our own money, because they have held up so well & always keep you warm!
When my kids were babies we tent camped at the end of June and it snowed. My daughter was in a snowsuit and was fine. The 10 month old slept on my chest all night and was fine. I was not fine. I hope it goes better for you.
So, in a minorly shameful update from last week, whichever neighbor’s call led the cops to our porch asking about “rotting flesh”…well, they weren’t wrong. 😬 My husband and I were cleaning out our huge garden last weekend and found the remains of what was probably a chipmunk underneath one of our overgrown tomato plants. 🤢😑 It was real gross. 😳 I still don’t understand why our neighbor wouldn’t just come talk to us: “Hey guys…weird smell coming from your backyard.” But whatever. It’s taken care of.
My depression was rough this week and so I did a solo trip to Barnes and Noble and while meandering found the book “Lexicon.” So far, it’s RUL good. Would recommend at this point!
thank you so much for this update!! that's wild to me that your neighbor called the police over this ... surely other small animals have died on or near their property before?
It’s not a typical WW 2 book(because most of it is set after the end of the war), but a ripper of an historical fiction book! Suspension, interesting characters, and based on amazing stories you have never heard of that involved women. THE HUNTRESS by Kate Quinn
I am so thankful for this update! Also, no shame at all. That is just nature in its purest form, not the curated backyard version of nature we tend to think of. It's the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffe!
I'm so glad you found a good book! The chipmunk, not so much. But at least now we know you and your husband aren't murderers? 😉 But yeah, weird move on your neighbor's part.
I am giggling so hard at all these treasures, Erin! The jeans Tiktok! The poem (yaaaass!)! The tweets! The IG post from Shannan made me think about a talk I heard at a writing conference a month or so ago. The author who was giving the keynote talked about how "passion creates platform" and she told a story about a really successful, bestselling cookbook writer isn't on social media at all as an author. But he sells tons of cookbooks. Why? Well, unrelated to his cookbook writing, he is a passionate knitter. He's a HUGE DEAL in the knitting community (she called him the Beyonce of knitting). So whenever he comes out with a new cookbook, his community (of knitters) are so excited for him! They buy his books and they're bestsellers. So, while having a community of fellow writers is good and helpful, it's also important to cultivate other interests and engage in our community outside of other writers. Basically, live your life as a full human.
Anyway, that was a random and niche story for this Friday. :) This weekend is up in the air until my son gets his Covid test results this morning, but hopefully we will be on track for all the things--NTB concert, kid soccer, and a cookout on Sunday. (he doesn't have any symptoms, but had a school exposure). One thing that's bringing me joy lately is the new The Wonder Years remake. It's such a delight!
Now I'm going to dive into the comments. Hugs to you all!
This advice on being a full human was needed today! I’ve had faaaarrrr too much introspection lately on how my life has not been “successful” from the world’s perspective, but I know where my identity lies so I have to remind myself constantly that all is still okay. It’s easy to get down on myself when I can’t seem to find a “niche” on which to build a “brand” (or even to pursue monetarily) so it’s helpful to stop focusing so hard on what I can’t figure out. Better to do what I love and let it all play out as it will. [It’s tough to be 52 years old and still wondering, but 🤷🏻♀️.] Thanks for sharing!
I was just listening to a podcast this morning that said something similar. It was talking about cultivating self-esteem in our kids, and how you should encourage them to find joy and fulfillment in a lot of different activities or aspects of their lives because inevitably they are going to encounter a circumstance where they don't measure up to either their own or others' expectations, and if they have other places where they feel good, they will weather the dip. "Live your life as a full human" is excellent advice for all people.
The Google docs girl made me gasp in horror. Lol As an editor of print publications, this feels like a professional designer saying "I have no need for Photoshop! I can do all my work in Instagram!" 😂 Try that with me booboo and you're gonna be in for a BAD time. If it starts in Google and is a simple edit going on a blog, fine, whatever. If you take a Word doc and change it to something else mid-edit cycle, we're not working with you again. That's a massive no professionally.
Oh man. It can definitely have advantages with collaboration and sharing information and such, but not always great for editing and can lead to miscommunication, micromanaging, and confusion with too many cooks in the kitchen at the same time typing over each other's work.
Yes! Or, like my former coworker deleting the budget for our entire organization… I mean- we got it back but someone lost her editing privileges pretty darn quick!
I would like to share a treasured fall food… hear me out… roasted parsnips. They’re just so good! You can pair them with a pumpkin spice latte, and I promise you’ll be ok.
I sure do love the tweets this week. My mom is visiting, and I am completely ON EDGE. She is a combative know-it-all, and I am a major conflict-avoider (Enneagram 9) with a very different lifestyle and value system than hers. I become like an anxious turtle when she’s around. Currently hiding in my minivan. About to go into the market to get some emotional support parsnips.
I saved this to read today while I would be sitting with my Granny in her rehab facility. Long, slow hours to think. Thanks for the hilarious tweets and other goodies to help me through.
What a week. It is 10:15 pm and I am sitting in my "comfy" chair with my dogs at my feet and all the dishes are washed. Amen.
💻 - I had a couple big wins at work this week, and I needed them. It was a huge morale boost after weeks and weeks of stress.
🍁- It rained and more is on the way. In CA it means so much for the rain to come in the fall. The leaves have turned earlier than usual, and I've had deliciously autumnal walks in beautiful old neighborhoods with huge tree canopies.
🏡- we got all our house projects done for the turning of the season, and my heart is at ease coming into the holiday season - which NEVER happens for me.
📻- Before I saw Erin's recommendation I was going to mention that episode of the Next Right Thing. It really is good. Ive also been playing Lazy Genius Breezy Instrumental as well as generic s potify playlists of spooky classical music to get through my workdays. This time of year I also like to listen to bluegrass and have been listening to Sarah deshield's album "Death and the Woman", which was recommended by Rachel Held Evan's sister Amanda, who sang on one of the songs.
Lovely to read all your ups and downs and to learn a bit more about some of you through dis/entangled.
Well, hello friends. I've been absent here for a while, but lurking through. Life has been crazy lately both good and bad. We got to go scout wedding locations with the kid and his fiancé which was a gift, and the $ her family is willing to spend on this day makes my nonprofit running heart twitch.
My medical PTSD has been flaring lately as my dear friend had a serious surgery early this week and her recovery isn't going well and a heart transplant buddy of mine who's only a little further out from transplant was healthy one day and within a week was on life support. It's starting to look a little better for him, but last I heard he's got a 50/50 chance of making it. It's just a reminder to me that this new heart of mine is a fragile gift.
The treasure is that we are still here, still working on helping transplant patients - two new patients this month! We are filling the gaps that we can! Praying that Giving Tuesday will allow us to keep serving this population.
Oh Denise! That is so much. Praying as you move through all those feelings. 🤎
Thank you so much Erin! That means so much to me!
Hello, friends. Despite a stupid week of insomnia and lingering side effects from a first shingles vax (making me feel old for being able to get the dang shot in the first place!), I have treasures to report.
📚 Tomorrow is my beloved 24-Hour Readathon, and I’m feeling prepared! I’ve got my book stack ready to go, snacks lined up, and an enchilada meal in mind that should prep quickly and satisfy heartily. All that’s left is prepping some journal pages and getting a good night’s sleep. 🤞🏻 I finally slept a full 10 hours last night but woke in the morning so I’m hopeful I can be tired tonight and do it again. (My insomnia is no joke.) As always, I’ll be updating my reading on IG if you want to check in and encourage me during the day. 😊 @phreneticmind
You can also join the readathon by signing up at http://deweysreadathon.wordpress.com. We start at 8am ET but you can join in for any length of time throughout the 24 hours. Follow the event @readathon on IG and Twitter.
✝️ I’ve been working through the dis/entangle series with Erin and other Li’l Swipes, and it’s good, hard work. I’ve been most impressed by the way we can all read the same scripture passages but see completely different motivations from the key players. Some of us find Jesus’s words comforting while others find him aggravating and condescending. Some see courage in the Samaritan woman at the well (who has a name in some faith traditions! *reggae horn*), while others see her as embarrassed. I’m reminded how we all bring our own cultural/societal/experiential lens to the Bible and how we need other people to share different lenses. It may not change our own opinions or frustrations, but it definitely makes us think. Which is the entire point of Erin’s study: God isn’t afraid of our questions or challenges, and we shouldn’t be afraid to bring them. 🙌🏻
🎄 Lastly, I’ve hit upon 2 fun Christmas ideas for my people this year. I’ve been really frustrated as I considered the stupid supply chain chaos and stupid Jeff Bezos and even my stupid family (heh) who have no good interests that lend toward gifting options. I’m an outlier in the family, so nothing I think is great and fun is interesting to anyone else. I can’t even buy books for anyone because THEY DO NOT READ. Not a single one in 10 adults reads. Ever. 🤦🏻♀️ So every year I go through these anxieties and now I am also planning for my mom because of her diminishing cognitive issues. Our budget doesn’t allow much, and my family makes it ridiculous to be creative. So… while devouring several gift-giving posts in the Lazy Genius Collective group on FB we’ve decided to put together a stocking of smalls for every adult. Depending on gender, they will be receiving such items as a restaurant gift card, Lotto scratch-offs, Bath and Body Works hand soap, Fuego hot sauce, pancake mix + tiny bottle of syrup, beef jerky, K-cups, lip scrubber brush + lip balm, mini lint roller, candy and snacks, plus the requisite orange in toe of the stocking because that’s what my parents *always* did when we were kids. I’m certain my family will be underwhelmed 🙄 but I also know it’s all practical and will be used. If it *does* go well, this may be a permanent gift to a less-than-grateful crew.
The second gift idea is MUCH more fun. I have a long-distance best friend who has been a literal pen pal for 21 years, and the state of economy/shipping has made it hard to send gifts without paying ridiculous mailing costs. This year we decided to put that money toward each other and “go digital” for Christmas. I brainstormed for months without hitting on a truly good idea, but my friend came through with something brilliant. We’re going to create a 12 days of Christmas gift in which each day reflects on 2021: Day 1, one subscription I loved this year (Oh Reader); Day 2, two excellent binge watches; Day 6, six favorite newsletters (I get to celebrate y’all!); Day 10, ten songs I discovered this year; Day 12, twelve books I read and recommend. Not every day will include a physical item, but for those that can, we’re going to take advantage of free shipping options or digital gift cards or get it shipped directly from stores. The idea is to (a) share the little treasures (!) we’ve not been able to discuss as we once did in long emails, and (b) avoid contributing to the shipping crisis. To say I’ve got creativity juicing my veins is an understatement. And my heart’s resting much easier, too.
❓❓ If you read this far down, I’d like to ask something of you. I want to start making all purchases from indie shops and small businesses. I’d love for you to share some favorites of yours. Bonus points for budget-minded stores. They need to have an online shopping option, too, since I’m in a small town. Got any suggestions?
Wishing everyone the best weekend available to you!
Love this update Jules. I think you are such a kind and creative gift giver and your wretched family doesn't deserve you. If anyone likes hotsauce Humble House brand was started by a small family and they are delicious! https://hivebrands.com/collections/humble-house
Oh! I appreciate the suggestion! And thank you. I agree; my family doesn’t know how awesome I am. 😊
Your 12 days of Christmas thing is amazing!!! And I still love an orange in my stocking- my mom and I always say that the stockings are the best part of Christmas (we’re also super easy to please and love presents though lol)
Etsy is often my first stop for this sort of thing. It can be overwhelming but to start with I will usually restrict my search to shops located in the U.S. You can browse through all manner of subscription boxes on Cratejoy (I have subscribed to the Unplugged book box off and on and enjoyed it). This may be what you were getting at with your penpal, but last year I gave my best friend one year of the subscription of her choice. You may have to put a budget cap as there's a pretty big difference between a year of a newspaper and a year of Book of the Month, for example, but I'm still hearing about how much she loved it.
Subscription boxes are a dream of mine to give. One day. They can be so pricey, but I hope to make it happen eventually. My rule is always “give what you would like to receive” and getting a monthly/quarterly package of goodies would bring me so much joy. (Because my family is “stupid” I’ve rarely received what I would actually give a person. It’s hard to be the only person with the Gift love language. 😬)
Etsy is always a go-to, for sure! Thanks for ideas!
Boxes can definitely be pricey, but some will have different tiers of the same box. Sometimes you can also do shorter subscriptions or a one-off, or they might even have individual items that they were overstocked on for previous boxes, in which case you can mix and match.
Great to know about overstock items! Thanks!
I think your gift ideas for your family are fantastic. I love simple, practical gifts, and find them very thoughtful. Enjoy the readathon!
i adore your 12 days of Christmas gift exchange. Wishing your scroogy family generous hearts! and will ponder the small biz question
Scroogy family. That’s the perfect description! They like to believe they are all SO FUN but in reality they are entitled brats. 🤦🏻♀️
I'm starting to get a little itchy about getting a job lined up. It's starting to look like I may have to cobble together a couple of part-time gigs in order to be able to stay in this area, which I've realized is actually very high on my priority list. I will be volunteering for a spay/neuter event in a couple of weeks, by which point I will not have touched an animal besides my own in a month, so I see no way this can possibly go wrong. 😬
I've had something of a falling out with my dad after he provided the final nail in the coffin of any chance my grandmother (mom's mom and my last living grandparent) will get her Covid vaccine. I have tolerated a lot of BS from my dad over the years, but this was a bridge too far and I told him so in no uncertain terms. This has dovetailed nicely with a season of really missing my other grandparents, who both passed several years ago (while also being somewhat thankful they're not around for All This). Thoughts for all of you living with the background noise of grief.
Treasures
- Many thanks to whoever suggested the figure skating episode of Bad Sport. There is no drama like figure skating drama and I am here for it at all times.
- Please enjoy these seasonal playlists: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2FUvJzavdXiZZvFIJBlE9y?si=lvEZOIqYQQK50O5hkuFc1Q&utm_source=copy-link
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX9oMffF6CrwU?si=FWsBqQSgS-6ovTIfsyypdg&utm_source=copy-link
- Witches of New York by Ami McKay is an excellent spooky read.
- My penpal gave me a top tip for cutting my own hair that I will now pass on to you, which is to YouTube "unicorn haircut". It's a lot easier than the last method I used to cut my hair and it looks great. There are lots of videos, this is the one I used: https://youtu.be/mIhMYgLtzOA
- We had a big storm roll through last week that knocked out my wifi for 5 days (boo). This meant that I was buying/renting DVDs for the first time in years, and do you know what's missing from the streaming experience? Special features. Give me all the behind the scenes movie magic, cast interviews, gag reels, I want it all.
- Related, I finally got to see WW84 thanks to my local library and I, for one, loved it. Also Gal Gadot looked incredible amd I could see the appeal of 80s fashion for the first time in my life.
Again I’m banned from the library in a least 4 states, but DVDs from the library were such a fun thing! We don’t even have a DVD player in our house.
Me neither, I had to use my computer, which is so old this is the only task it can perform with any confidence.
Sorry about your dad. 😞 And I miss special features too!
Ohh the background noise of grief….what a perfect description.
I miss getting DVDs from the library. Here, even the library has a streaming service now! 🤷♀️ I'm so sorry about the situation with your dad.
Also I just learned this moment that Brandi Carlile is the musical guest on SNL this week, which is sure to be a gift to all mankind.
Hello Gang!
I’ve been absent for the last few weeks. There have been loads of turds and very few treasures. The treasures that there have been though were miraculous.
🌴We’ve been in quarantine with covid since September 6th. Everyone in this has gotten covid. But most have either not overlapped or overlapped by a few days. We gotten to the day before quarantine ends three times only to have another person test positive. As a reminder there are 8 people in our house. The last covid victim fell yesterday. I managed to get it twice!
🌴During our covid crisis my dad had a septic brain infection and two/three strokes with two hospital stays and covid. I couldn’t visit him or my mom during the whole crap shoot.
🌴I had a BIG ole fight with my sister who is an addict. Moral of that story is I am right.
Treasures:
📢 For the first time in ummm maybe ever I told people that I needed help. To not ask for my permission, not to ask me what I needed to just do stuff! My internet gang,BFF and church helped in huge ways!!
📢Our church has gifted us a total house cleaning and disinfecting once our covid is over.
📢 While I am so tired emotionally and physically I am thankful that I learned how to ask for help without feeling guilty. I asked for help and didn’t even care what the plan was! That’s huge for an enneagram 1. I’d rather have learned those lessons in a less germy way but here we are… People, your people want to help you. It’s not a weakness or a failure. You are not meant to journey alone, in any season of life. No trial is meant to be suffered through without your people. Tell them. Bring them in. What you are learning through your current season is meant to be a lesson for them too.
Much love to my favorite internet gang in all the land!!
🤎Etin
Erin you are my hero!
Jenny you are the sweetest! I had to have the antibody infusion during my second covid. I did joke that between two rounds of covid, a vaccine and antibodies I was basically a super hero. I pondered buying a unitard, a mask and changing my name to “Super immune Erin” but alas I don’t look great in unitards!
Please go as Super Immune Erin for Halloween! 🤩
Oh my goodness, that is just too much! But wow, good for you learning to ask for help. That is not easy. Go you!!!
It is a lot!
Asking for help is so. hard. Proud of you for doing so! Also FRIEND HOW DID I MISS THAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN IN QUARANTINE FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS. Lord have mercy!
Girl you didn’t know because I haven’t been willing to admit it!!!
You have really been through it! I pray everyone is on the mend and you get some relief soon.
So you got COVID twice in less than eight weeks? I was hoping my family and I had a bit more time before we were really at risk again.
I had it twice in a year, I’m the only one in my home that had that happen!
Oh bless it^ 🤎Erin!!!!
sorry, already updated your contact info to Etin in my phone
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I've managed to take a daily Stupid Walk (tm) for 30+ days. It's the longest I've been consistent on anything for my entire life and I'm both proud of me & scared that talking about it will cause me to break my streak. But it's also what I credit with me not ending every day screaming into a pillow so.... I'll take it.
My 2 dogs are doing their quarterly 'oh hey, we do actually know how to play well with each other for 3 seconds' chase around the house as I type and that's making me happy. The rest of the time they just spend either ignoring each other or pestering and being jealous or attempting to make the other one jealous (side note, don't believe the lies that adding a 2nd dog will mean they entertain each other. Bursting that bubble on the rocks of real life was a hard realization for me)
And I'm managing to not be entirely check out/overwhelmed by the reality that our landlord is selling our living space & there's a higher than likely chance we'll end up needing to move sometime in the next 30-60 days.....
(side note: rooms without any windows in them are magic for giving you space to collect yourself - highly recommend you sit in the dark on the floor sometime)
Everything you shared here is ✨magic✨ (except the living situation ☹️). Dogs are great equalizers of emotion. Dark rooms are serenity. Congrats on your walking habit! Wishing you great success on finding a new place to live.
Thanks Jules! I appreciate it <3
I've made it to the end of the week and I've got a therapy appointment on Sunday! It's been a few weeks since I've had one so it'll be nice to get back into that rhythm. I started working in a 12-18 month preschool class two mornings a week and I'm both enjoying the experience and regretting adding something else to my schedule. It makes for 12 hour work days (I have to go straight to the library after for my regular job). But I get to snuggle and play a lot too so that's nice.
My main treasure is that I got to see my favorite musician last weekend - Friday and Saturday night. Small, intimate venue where I got to sit down at a table the whole time (bc my body is far too old to stand during shows now). It was truly one of the most beautiful and wonderful experiences. I'm still binging his new album too. Noah Gundersen - A Pillar of Salt.
My husband loves Noah Gundersen! So good!
I LOVE Noah Gundersen! That’s another album I keep meaning to listen to but then I always get sidetracked haha. Ledges is probably in my top ten favorite albums list and I got to see him perform it live in New York City, what a dream.
We made it to Friday indeed! Anyone else tired? 😉
Quickfire treasures this week:
👶 An old friend and her 6-months-and-one-day-old daughter came for a visit today. Since my social life is virtually nonexistent, I was a little nervous having people over but we had a great time. And the baby seemed to really like me.
😂 I really loved this week's episode of The Popcast. My absolute favorite thing was Knox's butchering of the Swedish word "fredagsmys". I could not understand what word he was trying to say until he explained the meaning of it. (And just in case this comes across as judgemental, please know I mispronounce English words all the time!)
🎈 My nephew turns 24 tomorrow. (When did he get so old? When did I?) He still lives in my town but his family moved away a few years ago. This weekend they're coming here to celebrate his birthday so I'll get to hang out with him, my sister, and her other kids whom I miss very much!
I wish you all exactly the kind of weekend you need right now! ❤
I mispronounce words all the time and so hearing podcasters, people who are Professional Talkers, mispronounce words makes me feel a bit better about myself. 😂 Hooray for babies and kid birthday parties!
Haha, yeah we should probably thank them for boosting our confidence. 😂
So tired....but pushing through! I'm so glad you got to visit with your friend and will get to see your fam! My little sister is due in March and I can't wait to snuggle that baby.
Baby snuggles are the best! Will it be your first niece or nephew?
The adult show and tell...1) Isn't that what YouTube at its core? Millions of people yearning to return to show and tell? 2) A friend sent me a tweet earlier this week about an elderly gentleman who came into his library to show the staff his coin collection "because no one had seen it in a while." SOB. (Also we agreed that this will be my husband someday, who has an unreasonable amount of LEGO and has now moved onto painting gaming minis. If you're ever happening through South Central PA, please come and ooh and ahh over his hobbies. After 18 years, I am so tired.)
your husband is welcome to give me MP tours of his legos on your acct if he is needing a show and tell time from someone who can't get to south central PA easily :D
My husband consumes so much YouTube. It is insane. He follows a YouTuber about everything. Dishwasher broken? He watched a YouTube video about how to fix it last week. Need to repair a wall? Same thing. It's crazy. I cannot listen to him talk about youtubers anymore, though I appreciate all he has learned.
How lucky that he’s learning home improvement, though! The rabbit holes on YouTube are the 100 levels of Hell, so it could’ve gone badly for y’all!
Oh yes, definitely could have gone badly! But I just cannot keep caring about how he could buy $200 worth of parts and, "totally upgrade" his mountain bike. I just cannot.
Ha! 😂
Okay, that one’s insane. 😂
Love it 😅. Ha, throw in all of it-til rock, FB, INSTA…..
Oh my gosh, that's exactly what YouTube is! If I'm ever in your neighborhood, I promise to stop by to ooh and ahh for a bit.
CARAMEL MACCHIATO ON THE ROCKS. got me good.
Y'all, it has been a week. I am on the precipice of probably needing to take medication for my depression, but I refuse to because 1) I cannot deal with more weight gain/awful body issues 2) the trial and error process of getting the correct medication is just time I do not have right now and 3) they have never actually helped so I won't try again. But Diana, my therapist, keeps asking if I would consider medication so I think I am getting close to.. *having* to. Such is the life of a person with a brain who is continually trying to kill her.
I work at the Visitor's Center now, which is attached to the convention center in SLC. We currently have a conference for Librarians going and let me tell you all - they are the best people we have had since I started working here. There is also a right wing-extremist conference happening (trust me, I don't necessarily feel safe) and every person I have met from THAT conference has been rude and impatient. All the librarians have been lovely and pleasant and kind. What a difference.
A huge treasure of this week was the finale of OMITB - WHAT. A. FINALE. I can't wait for season 2 and I haven't felt this way about a TV show since Wandavision.
If you have Regular Depression™ but also get worse during winter because of Seasonal Depression™, do you have any good tips and tricks? I try to be gentler with myself during this time of year but it is still hard. (Note: please do not suggest ~exercise~. Stupid Walks are as far as I will go but exercise makes me angrier/sadder so I will not entertain your suggestion for yoga at 5 am, please and thanks. I know what I'm about.)
If you don't follow Colby's Crew on Tiktok, here's your sign that you should. They're a horse rescue and they have a program that specifically rescues big, draft horses. HACK YOUR CRYING, INDEED. https://www.tiktok.com/@ohkaytacos/video/7017115731372297477?sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=7010883105779533318&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0
Also, if you've ever been a downstairs neighbor, you will feel this in your bones. https://www.tiktok.com/@nutiliti/video/7020512195289140486?sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=7010883105779533318&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0
Spending time over at dis/entangle with Erin and the other lil swipes has been a gift. It still feels so hard, but it feels like it's starting to heal.
Can't wait to hear about your weeks!
Shelby, I FEEL you on the brain continually trying to kill me situation, unfortunately. I second everybody's recommendations on the light bulbs--I don't have fancy light bulbs but I generally try to get more light in my living spaces during the SAD months to blast away the literal darkness.
I also feel the medication struggle. I recommend being very picky about who you work with for your medication (for me, I have a therapist and then a separate psychiatrist who deals with the medicine side of things, I realize that's not how it works in all states and places). My psychiatrist ordered a bloodwork test for me that actually showed the likelihood of some medications to work or not work. I don't remember what the test is called but I believe it's really common, and it was covered by insurance. So if you can get that test run, do it! because it helps narrow down options before you have to do trial and error with your actual body. And second thing, if any of your family members have been on anti-depressants, and you can find out which ones they were on, that can help. Sometimes if your aunt or someone was on a med and it worked for them, that can increase the odds it'll work for you.
I hope things get better so soon! I have temporarily moved back in with my parents and younger siblings because my brain kept trying to kill me and I live alone, so it was a bad situation. My extroverted self does far better with people than without. ':)
My decade-ish in the midwest was rough for winters. I am sorry SAD adds extra stress to your plate. Looks like you have lots of good advice-I like bright colors they make me feel more alive, and trying to be diligent with moisturizer for my dry winter skin.
Sending ❤ and ✊ at the turning of the year. Youve already gotten lots of good suggestions. Light -special lamps and light bulbs and if there is a sunny day I go outside. Nature helps a lot, so I have all kinds of clothes and gear depending on the weather so I can be outside. Someone else mentioned routine, and that is so big for me. My morning routine is in shambles right now and that is messing with me. I try to hygge it up. All 5 senses getting special treats. Sip hot cider at work. Light candles. Comfort books/movies and seasonal playlists. Pretty fabrics. Fresh flowers. Coffee on the front porch in my favorite mug.Etc etc. Physical, tangible pleasures and comforts for my body. I also try to serve people or give them things. Takes My mind off of my pain and lets me be creative. I used to throw game nights 2 _s a month in the fall/winter. It doesn't fix it, but it helps. I get it. Not wanting more meds etc. But if it can help, maybe try. I love the ideas fpr genetic testing. I had never heard of that. Rooting for you!
I'm sorry your brain is being such a jerk. I feel that struggle, too. I was really resistant to going on meds at first, too, but they really have helped me. That being said, I've not had as good of luck with anxiety meds, and so I also stand in solidarity with you on your feelings about not wanting to be a victim of the bad scientific method that is trying new meds. There are genetic tests that you can take to see which meds will work for you and which to avoid. I would guess you'd be paying out of pocket for something like that, but it might be worth looking into and then setting a savings goal so you can get that done and go into the medication process with more concrete information. In terms of what helps with seasonal depression, I like rituals. Doing similar things every day means that I have a structure to my day that leads me along even when I don't feel like doing anything. So, in the mornings, I try to get up at the same time, follow a similar pre-work routine, and then also have post-work things I do every day. I realize that doesn't leave much room for spontaneity, but just remember it's not a rule, just a guideline. Also having meals pre-made (maybe doing it on Sunday?) can really help you continue to take care of yourself nutrition-wise, which also will help with feelings of sadness.
I see someone below mentioned the genetic testing, too. Sorry to be a repeater!
No suggestions ☹️ but standing in solidarity. 🤛🏻 I experience some of the same medical issues and struggles (though my SAD comes in summer with the Texas heat), and exercise makes me sweaty which makes me angry so 👎🏻. But I see you. Praying for relief. ❤️
❤
As far as meds go, I love mine but I did drive around with the prescription in my car for two months. If you have any blood relatives that are on medication that would be willing to share with you what they are taking? That will help your doctor narrow down the field of medication to try.
No one in my family takes medication - very much a, "If you'd exercise more, you'd be happier!" type of family.
Ugh x1000 and do we have the same family 🤣
Oh girl, I've been there with trying so many meds and dosages and nothing working. It's hell. (Until a doctor figured out that the severity of my depression fluctuated with my hormone levels and put me on birth control. It stabilized my mood for a few years but messed up a lot of other things in my body so...) I wish I had any good tips and tricks for dealing with seasonal depression but all I've got is, if at all possible, prioritize laughing. Maybe this is dumb? I'm not a doctor, so feel free to ignore this, but when it was really bad for me I'd force myself to watch or listen to something that made me laugh more or less every day and I kinda think it helped me muddle through.
I definitely try to prioritize laughing! Sometimes it just seems like I can't find joy in anything, though. I also am very afraid to go off birth control because it's the only thing that stops my periods, and when I am on my period, I become *very very very* tired of being alive. Such a mess, these body suits of ours.
They really are... It's not easy being human. Sending you lots of love.
i'm gonna be that guy, and suggest childs pose before bed, 2-3 min. put on whatever relaxing music you want.
also, feel your reluctance of meds, but praying for you as you decide the right thing! I've found it immensely helpful but also understand this is a deeply personal decision. also, thank u for responding to my question in LG collective this week, what a delight to see you there!
I think if they had helped before, I would be less reluctant. But since I had such a negative experience for so long, it is just hard to convince myself that it's worth another try. And omg the LG collective is the only reason I am on Facebook anymore!
Agreed on LG Facebook! I’ve had so much great inspiration for gifting and organizing from that group. I’ve learned to go to FB once a week and jump right into the Groups section of FB to avoid any feeds. Then get out as fast as I can! Looking forward to checking in on you and Jillian from this week’s posts!
The groups are the best! The LG group and my local Buy Nothing group are amazing!
I’ve not heard of Buy Nothing. Maybe we have one near me! I also like groups for stationery nerds, bullet journaling, card making, and commonplace books. Great scrolling opportunities that don’t depress me. 😊
Medications for depression change a lot over time. If it’s been a minute since your last try, consider giving another shot. Also, having a psychiatrist prescribing may be better than a therapist or a GP. They tend to do better with types and dosing.
Thanks for making me cry with that horse TikTok!
I'm definitely biased, but I agree, librarians are the best! I'm glad they were there to counter the other conference 😬
I don't have a lot of advice for seasonal depression on top of regular depression, other than to come visit me in Florida? The weather is very nice now and we have lots of sun!
I hope whatever you decide about medication goes smoothly. It's super frustrating to have to keep trying and recalibrating. Sending love and hugs your way 💕
Okay actually thought Melanie we might come to Florida in January but where in Florida are you again?? I can't remember!! But thank you. ❤
Oh my gosh, that's so exciting! We're in Fort Myers. Did you have somewhere in mind you were going to go?
With you girl, just sticking with the course and applying ourselves is a daily accomplishment! My only suggestion is….when I return from a face to face with a girlfriend, I somehow always feel better. So I try to make this a priority!💛
Yes me too! I am trying to make sure that at least once a week I see a friend for some meaningful connection.
Hi friend! I am both a librarian and someone with a brain that regularly tries to kill them. Library conferences are the best and I miss them so much - we haven't had any regular ones in a while because of COVID.
Medication has saved my life. It is really, really hard to find the right one at the right dose. Have you heard of the GeneSight testing? It will tell you what medications your body processes best based on your genetics. My sister had severe depression and the typical medications didn't help so her therapist suggested this and it has been so helpful. It also helped identify which pain medications worked best for her. Here's the website from the place she used: http://athensbehavioral.com/id18.html
I had to swap meds earlier this year and it was hell getting to the correct dose but it made such a difference. I am nervous heading into winter though SAD always makes it worse. I try to make sure that I am getting enough sleep and water and also make myself stand outside for a few minutes a couple of times a day to get actual sunshine. Not a cure but sort of helps.
I am just so tired of medication. I have to take thyroid medication every day and getting the right dosage of THAT took over a year and was expensive and timely and tiring. I haven't ever heard of the GeneSight testing - I will look into it! And my new job is basically in a giant dome of windows so I am hoping the extra sunshine during my work day will be helpful.
Girl, my husband gets SAD so terribly in the winter! We use special light bulbs in our bathroom. They are super helpful! I’ll send you the link to your Instagram. It’s not a cure but a big help.
Yes please send me that link! Thank you! I think I will put them around the house in different areas.
Any bulb 5000K these may be too many but here you are: SYLVANIA ECO LED A19 Light Bulb, 60W Equivalent, Efficient 9W, 7 Year, 750 Lumens, Non-Dimmable, Frosted, 5000K Daylight - 24 Pack (40987) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08J87MTXF/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_CXEXWE9JYW4HTZHDJB98
Yes, you can get bulbs at Home Depot that is at the same brightness as the sun, easy!
Long time reader, sporadic commenter here!
We’re kicking off fall by camping as a family with some friends! This is the first time I’ve ever been tent camping, and I’m jumping in head first by doing it with 2 kids 2 and under 😅 I was talking through with my husband what things we might need to keep the kids warm, and he said “I think you’re going to be the coldest one in our tent.” 😬 my kids THRIVE outdoors. I do not. Here’s to hoping I can rally & not be grumpy and cold all weekend 👏🏼
How was camping? I really want to take our kids in the spring!
I hope you had a good time camping after all! My husband & I went without the kids this weekend, the first time we have done so since a disastrous trip 10 years ago where a porcupine ate through our car's gas line during the night. Our trip this weekend was the complete opposite, great in every way; hope you were warm enough! I swear by wool socks, wool base layer, & we have really great sleeping bags that we were lucky enough to be gifted at our wedding over 12 years ago, that would have been worth buying with our own money, because they have held up so well & always keep you warm!
https://www.rei.com/product/128365/the-north-face-cats-meow-22-sleeping-bag
Ooch, sleep in every piece of clothing you have, and your jacket!
When my kids were babies we tent camped at the end of June and it snowed. My daughter was in a snowsuit and was fine. The 10 month old slept on my chest all night and was fine. I was not fine. I hope it goes better for you.
Woof. Good luck. Bring a beanie to keep your head warm!
So, in a minorly shameful update from last week, whichever neighbor’s call led the cops to our porch asking about “rotting flesh”…well, they weren’t wrong. 😬 My husband and I were cleaning out our huge garden last weekend and found the remains of what was probably a chipmunk underneath one of our overgrown tomato plants. 🤢😑 It was real gross. 😳 I still don’t understand why our neighbor wouldn’t just come talk to us: “Hey guys…weird smell coming from your backyard.” But whatever. It’s taken care of.
My depression was rough this week and so I did a solo trip to Barnes and Noble and while meandering found the book “Lexicon.” So far, it’s RUL good. Would recommend at this point!
thank you so much for this update!! that's wild to me that your neighbor called the police over this ... surely other small animals have died on or near their property before?
It’s not a typical WW 2 book(because most of it is set after the end of the war), but a ripper of an historical fiction book! Suspension, interesting characters, and based on amazing stories you have never heard of that involved women. THE HUNTRESS by Kate Quinn
I took a solo trip to our local indie that just opened back up for browsing and it was so therapeutic.
A solo trip to Barnes and Noble sounds like a dream!
I am so thankful for this update! Also, no shame at all. That is just nature in its purest form, not the curated backyard version of nature we tend to think of. It's the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffe!
Hahah---I think we sang the same thing as we were disposing of the remains.
I'm so glad you found a good book! The chipmunk, not so much. But at least now we know you and your husband aren't murderers? 😉 But yeah, weird move on your neighbor's part.
Eww!! But yeah, your neighbor is still a piece of work.
I am giggling so hard at all these treasures, Erin! The jeans Tiktok! The poem (yaaaass!)! The tweets! The IG post from Shannan made me think about a talk I heard at a writing conference a month or so ago. The author who was giving the keynote talked about how "passion creates platform" and she told a story about a really successful, bestselling cookbook writer isn't on social media at all as an author. But he sells tons of cookbooks. Why? Well, unrelated to his cookbook writing, he is a passionate knitter. He's a HUGE DEAL in the knitting community (she called him the Beyonce of knitting). So whenever he comes out with a new cookbook, his community (of knitters) are so excited for him! They buy his books and they're bestsellers. So, while having a community of fellow writers is good and helpful, it's also important to cultivate other interests and engage in our community outside of other writers. Basically, live your life as a full human.
Anyway, that was a random and niche story for this Friday. :) This weekend is up in the air until my son gets his Covid test results this morning, but hopefully we will be on track for all the things--NTB concert, kid soccer, and a cookout on Sunday. (he doesn't have any symptoms, but had a school exposure). One thing that's bringing me joy lately is the new The Wonder Years remake. It's such a delight!
Now I'm going to dive into the comments. Hugs to you all!
update: negative test for the kid. :)
🙌🏻 🙌🏻 🙌🏻 🙌🏻 🙌🏻
This advice on being a full human was needed today! I’ve had faaaarrrr too much introspection lately on how my life has not been “successful” from the world’s perspective, but I know where my identity lies so I have to remind myself constantly that all is still okay. It’s easy to get down on myself when I can’t seem to find a “niche” on which to build a “brand” (or even to pursue monetarily) so it’s helpful to stop focusing so hard on what I can’t figure out. Better to do what I love and let it all play out as it will. [It’s tough to be 52 years old and still wondering, but 🤷🏻♀️.] Thanks for sharing!
I was just listening to a podcast this morning that said something similar. It was talking about cultivating self-esteem in our kids, and how you should encourage them to find joy and fulfillment in a lot of different activities or aspects of their lives because inevitably they are going to encounter a circumstance where they don't measure up to either their own or others' expectations, and if they have other places where they feel good, they will weather the dip. "Live your life as a full human" is excellent advice for all people.
Hope the test comes back negative and that you'll have a great weekend!
The test did come back negative!
Yay!
The Google docs girl made me gasp in horror. Lol As an editor of print publications, this feels like a professional designer saying "I have no need for Photoshop! I can do all my work in Instagram!" 😂 Try that with me booboo and you're gonna be in for a BAD time. If it starts in Google and is a simple edit going on a blog, fine, whatever. If you take a Word doc and change it to something else mid-edit cycle, we're not working with you again. That's a massive no professionally.
Same reaction to that Google doc statement. Also, my work just switched to Google and it's been a whole situation.
Oh man. It can definitely have advantages with collaboration and sharing information and such, but not always great for editing and can lead to miscommunication, micromanaging, and confusion with too many cooks in the kitchen at the same time typing over each other's work.
Yes! Or, like my former coworker deleting the budget for our entire organization… I mean- we got it back but someone lost her editing privileges pretty darn quick!
Yikes!!
Same! I actually gasped. Lol
TRULY!
I would like to share a treasured fall food… hear me out… roasted parsnips. They’re just so good! You can pair them with a pumpkin spice latte, and I promise you’ll be ok.
I sure do love the tweets this week. My mom is visiting, and I am completely ON EDGE. She is a combative know-it-all, and I am a major conflict-avoider (Enneagram 9) with a very different lifestyle and value system than hers. I become like an anxious turtle when she’s around. Currently hiding in my minivan. About to go into the market to get some emotional support parsnips.
I relate to this so much. My your parsnips give you comfort and joy.
May your parsnips sustain you and your visit with your mom be surprisingly peaceful. Or barring that, may it be short.
Somehow I've never had parsnips, but you've convinced me to try! Hope you're able to find some peace and time alone while your mom's visiting
I hope those parsnips do the trick!